Police Simulator: Patrol Officers Xbox Series S/X review

First and foremost,I want to take a moment to give a huge shout out to Astragon Entertainment for tossing me a copy of Police Simulator: Patrol Officers.

So what is Police Simulator? Well the name says it all. Let me walk you through my first day on the job. I walked out the door, read a couple tutorials, and read a manual for the job about all the laws while not realizing I did nothing to stop the time from passing and my shift ended while giving someone a parking ticket. So I walked right back inside.

Me ticketing a car in the PD parking lot

My second day on the job I remember words from the movie The Other Guys. You aren’t a cop until you do a desk pop. So I pulled my gun and shot a round into the air. Huh, nobody cares. Time to walk outside and shoot the first person I see. Don’t do this,you will instantly be fired.

You also can’t shoot at cars and buildings, actually just do what the game tells you and don’t shoot your gun. There truly are no situations in the game that let you fire your weapon. This led to seeing how many innocent people I could just blast with my taser. The answer is four, then you will be fired.

Now that I had that out of the way I decided to take the game more seriously and moved on to my real day one without being a psycho or reading the entire shift. You can play in one of two modes, casual or simulation. I recommend you start with casual because the game is more forgiving of mistakes, for example you can’t really hit pedestrians with your car or get hit by them. In simulation both of these will instantly end your day.

The first few days will be foot patrols handing out speeding tickets, catching jaywalkers and stopping people for littering. The game does an excellent job explaining when you can ticket a car and it is quite easy to look up if you forget. Their explanation on when to tow cars isn’t quite as good but is still solid.

Eventually you will get your own patrol car and have the option to choose between foot patrol or a car patrol. You can do everything in a car you can do on foot, you can even park your car and walk around if you want. I do recommend however you be careful pulling people over as they tend to simply slam on their breaks and you will slam into the back of them. Nothing worse than catching that dude showing off his under glow lights and then doing an accident report instead. Speaking from experience.

This may be one of the most realistic simulation games I have ever played, and anyone that follows the page knows I have played my fair share. Giving tickets or arresting someone is as simple as a radial menu after speaking to them or interacting with a car and the options of what you can find or arrest people for range from something as simple as jaywalking to things like DUI for alcohol or amphetamines or simply having an outstanding warrant. This isn’t even getting into the times I’ve sat at a red light and suddenly see an accident in front of me and need to call an ambulance for some now laying on the sidewalk and discover the accident was two drunk drivers.

No game is perfect,and Police Simulator is no exception. I’d say I loved my time with it but my time with it is far from over but I have to hope there is more to come. There are plenty of bugs that need to be patched out. The graphics are beautiful, but the amount of times I’ve seen cars go around corners and drivers not be in the cars for a few seconds are beyond anything I could even try to count. A few times pulling up to an accident there was no way to take pictures of the accident and I never figured out why,or a witness would be impossible to access because they were pushed in-between cars by a third car and were blocked away.

Also me and a friend (he plays on PS5) ran into an issue where we would lose conduct points for trying to find or tow a car in a space directly in front of a sign that says taxi zone no parking. Nothing game breaking or even anything I would consider taking away from my enjoyment,but it would be wrong if I did not tell you they do exist.

So what’s the verdict on this one? Should you sign up for a shift or avoid it? Truthfully this is easily one of the best simulator games I have ever played and there is far more potential of what they can do with it if they choose. I’m giving this a 7/10 because of the before mentioned glitches but once those are fixed the score definitely goes up a point or two. If you like simulator games, you need to pick this one up. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Lunistice Nintendo Switch Review

Lunistice is a game from Deck 13 that I was lucky enough to get a review copy tossed my way at the last moment. Going into it I didn’t know much besides that it was a 3D platformer inspired by the 32 bit era. Think along the lines of Mario 64 (yes despite it’s name it was a 32 bit game)

Love this little character , Hana

Lunistice takes place in a world right after something called the “Moonfall” and traps people in their dreams. That is where the game play takes place.

You will traverse about 15 levels in multiple biomes, collecting various collectables, following multiple paths and trying to get the fastest time to get that elusive “S” rank.

“S” rank will unlock some things for you but truthfully they weren’t really worth it to me. I have never been a fan of trying to speed run things however so please keep that in mind.

The graphics however are nice, I enjoyed running around and seeing the gems in the ground in the first couple levels or seeing what was over the side of a bridge down below. This however was offset when you notice the enemies you fight don’t have much variety to them and you really just kill them all with one attack.

Ok tell me that isn’t cute

The music does set the stage nicely though and I never grew tired of it. More than once I found myself simply jumping around and nodding my head to whatever the instruments were, I’m not sure what they were but they sounded like maybe flutes to me.

The game did have moments of being harder than I would have expected admittedly. Many of the reasons were simply because jumping was hard to manage without a darker shadow as a reference point or because once I spun to kill an enemy and destroyed the crystal we were standing in because it didn’t look like a crystal. Another time I simply walked off an edge thinking I was walking into water. The water one might be on me admittedly. As a fan of the Soulsborne series however I can’t complain about a challenge.

When all is said and done I enjoyed my time with this game,and my five year old thought Hana was adorable. She wasn’t so good at the game, maybe don’t let small children play. But at $4.99 (US) fans of platformers should grab it. 7/10

Chained Echoes Releases December 8th 2022

Chained Echoes, the long-awaited, pixel-perfect JRPG developed by Matthias Linda and published by Deck13 Spotlight, has finally received a release date! Perfectly blending fantasy with mechs and airships, this story-driven epic will arrive on December 8 for PlayStation®5, PlayStation®4, Xbox Series X|S, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch and PC. The game will also be available through Xbox Game Pass for PC, consoles and the Cloud on day one.

N7 Day and Mass Effect 5 Concept Art

There isn’t a lot to say on N7 day besides happy N7 day. That and to celebrate that we got a piece of concept art for Mass Effect 5 which is still in pre-production. It does however seem to make it appear as the true ending to Mass Effect 3 was the ending that destroyed a whole ton of stuff. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

X movie review (2022)

I don’t know what to say about this movie Mia Goth killed it. This movie is actually the perfect example of what would happen if you made an 80’s slasher movie except you convinced everyone in the movie actually care about the movie. Seriously everything about this movie, should not work.

The basic idea is a group of people, led by Wayne Gilroy ( Martin Henderson) all say screw it, we are making porn. Except it’s 1979 so there is no internet so they find a tech nerd named RJ (Owen Cambell) and his camera so get can make high-class smut. His girlfriend, Lorraine (Jenny Ortega) agrees to help film and be the boom operator.

Added to that we get our actual people in the porn movie, Bobby-Lynn (Brittney Snow) and the guy with the best porn name in the movie Jackson Hole (Kid Cudi) The last person character I haven’t mentioned is played by Mia Goth, because she absolutely kills it playing both the 3rd person in the movies porn, Maxine and Pearl, another lady in the movie. She does a fabulous job playing both.

Now truthfully I can’t say a ton about the story without spoiling it, but I will do what I can. See they leave their strip club that Wayne seems to own or manage so they can shoot their movie on-site. A farm Wayne rented in the middle of nowhere. The farm is legitimately beautiful. Whoever did the scouting for this movie did fantastic. The camera work is also great, they truly managed to capture the feeling of the 1970s without making it look like it is actually the 1970s.

After they get to the farm we meet this old man named Howard (Stephen Ure) that isn’t happy all these extra people are here. Howard is creepy as hell to be completely honest here and warns them to keep the noise down because his wife is right in the house.

Our porno party doesn’t listen and starts, well shooting porn. It isn’t long before the homeowners discover what is going on.

I will leave the story here because truthfully any more and I risk getting too far into the story for one and for another I would basically have to start describing either sex scenes or murder scenes, and really wouldn’t you rather watch them? I thought this movie would be some horrible B movie but instead, I was treated to one of the best movies I have seen in a very long time. I am actually excited to see both the prequel Pearl and the Sequel. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bones Of Halloween Review

I first mentioned Bones of Halloween Out October 28th when I heard about it and the guys over at Ratalaika Games and Petite Games were cool enough to send me a copy to check out which is always appreciated. Huge thank you to them for always hooking me up when they can.

The concept they floated out here is simple. You wake up in a forest, you will be attacked by pumpkin-headed monsters and your job is to kill everything until they kill you. As you kill these creatures they will drop money and after you kill so many you get to pick a random card. This card will have a random positive or negative effect on you and your game.

This thing doesn’t need to exist.

The creatures all come in different variations, some will shoot arrows at you, and some are faster with swords or will try to run up to you and explode. As you saw above one annoying one shoots lasers out of its eyes and it’s annoyingly hard to hit while not getting hit with its laser eyes.

This one also should have stayed in hell.

This game cost $5, and as such you have to know going in this isn’t going to be some graphically stunning game with a grand soundtrack. Both are good, you are getting better than what you pay for in both departments. The game also comes with an impressive amount of game modes, enemy variety, and weapons types for the price point. I would be amazed if you haven’t paid more for games offering less variety. The challenges were my favorite part, but there is one more thing to note. Platinum hunters will LOVE this game because it is a super quick platinum to get. You can probably do it in about half an hour.

Admittedly I am always happy to make things explode.

The game is fun, it doesn’t exactly have a ton of replay value, however. With only one level you will quickly see pretty much all there is to see. It is well worth the small price it is to play. I definitely suggest anyone looking for quick trophies or just something cheap to play on Halloween pick this one up. 8/10. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Factorio Nintendo Switch Review

As always when I start these things, a massive shout-out to the guys and gals over at Wube Software for tossing me a copy of this one. I actually have a history with this game going all the way back to the PC version. Years ago a friend of mine wanted me to pick this one up and play with him when he played it, he often referred to it as “Cracktorio” because of how addictive it was. Truthfully he wasn’t wrong.

This is not about the PC version, it is about the Switch version. One I honestly did not have high hopes for. I didn’t think the controls could be done well, I wasn’t sure how it would handle graphically with the frame rates when things were getting busy on screen with so much going on, especially when it wasn’t docked. My concerns may be too many to list. We will get to all this later, but if you simply want the quick version I was absolutely amazed, and that doesn’t happen often.

If you don’t know what Factorio is, the concept is simple. You crash on a ship and your job is to build a sprawling factory and eventually a ship to escape. You will start small by digging up things like rock, iron, copper, and coal. This can be used to build things to automate small things such as mining these very things and moving them maybe into a box or into another furnace to make iron plates. These can be turned into armor for yourself maybe, or possibly sprockets for more important tools. You will have to decide what you feel is important or needed for you at the time.

Later you will be able to make electricity with steam for example and become more productive and research bigger and better guns and turrets. These are needed since the local life forms don’t appreciate you mining the place and polluting everything. The more you pollute the bigger and more dangerous these things become.

That is the basic idea, its easy to understand but mastering it, well I still haven’t managed that. You will be building cars and trains to move things along with robot spiders before you know it and you will still be finding out there were better ways to do it. All this means nothing if the game doesn’t function.

Earlier I mentioned being worried about the controls, remember this was a PC game made for mouse and keyboard. Playing the tutorials it wasn’t long before I felt playing on the Switch was pretty much as natural as on the PC. I never felt like I was truly handicapped playing on console. It slows the game down a little bit, but considering this game is a slow burn to begin with because you will constantly be planning, evaluating and doing it all over again this meant very little to me.

Graphically is where I was most astonished. Outside of one big loading time at the start which I clocked at just over one real time minute, there really aren’t any until you start running around a bigger map and even then they are barely noticeable. I never felt like there was some insane frame rate drop because I built a ton of conveyor belts that were moving stuff around or because my research plants were kicking into over drive. At one point I was being attacked by about 20 bugs at my power plants that had conveyor belts pumping coal into and my turrets were just cutting them down. My Switch didn’t lose a step, and this was in the hand held mode.

The sound is also great, I loved listening to my little factory tic away as arms moved things from one belt to another or as I would bang away with a pick axe on some iron. It has a nice calming feeling when things are going right, but gets a bit nerve wracking as things are going wrong and you hear something taking down your stuff.

There are a lot of great factory building games out there, Factorio however has pride of place at #1, and in my opinion it is not even close. If you ever wanted to try this out but never could, now is the time. If you simply want to play it more but on the go, now is your chance. This game is an absolute gem, 9 out of 10. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Paper Cut mansion Xbox Review

As always I like to give a big thanks to the people that tossed me this one Thundeful publishing and Space Lizard Studios. Always nice to play a new game, and we all know my love of horror-related things so this was a special treat this time of year.

The concept behind this game is quite simple. They made a rogue-like game, set that game in a mansion. That mansion and the entire world are then crafted out of paper and made essentially into one big escape room. This may seem simple, and the idea is. The game however is not simple, and I mean that in the best way possible.

When I first entered the mansion I was greeted by a skeleton and a butterfly. It was explained to me that the butterfly would, land on walls in rooms where something important was and I should search that room. I should search for clues on how to solve the puzzles and get out and a talking door at the end of a hallway could help me. Something the skeleton had never managed to do.

This led me on a quest to discover, there are multiple dimensions to this mansion. The main place I had started in that I was free to search with little danger, a place that was cold and I could freeze to death and another that held enemies I could fight in various ways. Each of these sections is connected however if you unlock a door in one it unlocks all of them.

The same can’t be said for items. The item found in one won’t be found in all So you have to risk the enemies and ice at some point if you want to proceed to the next floor. Each new floor will allow you to find new evidence that will let you unravel what is going on in this mansion. Also between each of the floors you are met with a catchy cut scene and song about your character or the story. I found myself pushing on to find the next scene more often than not.

Dying however can be devastating as you have to start the process all over again, but many things will carry over. One example is the upgrades to your character such as weapons. These will allow you to proceed much faster and easier and find more new evidence. Even in failure there are things to be learned and earned and new characters to meet and interact with.

Graphically the game isn’t impressive but it is nice to look at. I loved the paper environments and how the people moved. The lighting was also a great touch as people standing by heaters seemed to shine a little brighter the closer they stood. The sound however was the real hero here. Accidently unleashing a ghost was enough to legitimately scare my child, while this isn’t exactly a challenge because she is five, video games aren’t normally on the list of things that do it. The sounds coming from blades in the walls and other things were really well thought out and represented and the music really shows the love put into it.

This is honestly one of the easiest reviews I ever had to write and one of the better games I’ve reviewed. This is a 9/10 Indy title for me. Everything works well, the story is interesting, and at no time did I feel lost as to what I should be doing.

Bones of Halloween Out October 28th

Bones of Halloween is a small but spooky first person shooter full of thrills and chills, just in time for your favourite holiday! You awaken in a dark forest near a castle, and quickly realize that you’re being hunted by grotesque pumpkin skeletons risen from the grave, and they’re after more than just your candy. Shoot down as many enemies as you can while you are still alive! You’ll have to deal with a myriad of monster attacks including arrows, lasers, fire, and explosions. Choose from multiple gameplay modes and difficulty settings, and gain access to powerful weapons. Fortune cards will have either good or bad effects on your fate. 

Features:

– Halloween-themed first person shooter
– Grotesque Halloween monsters
– Multiple game modes, difficulty settings, and weapons

Ratalaika Games and Petite Games are proud to announce that Bones of Halloween will be released onto Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, PlayStation 4/5 consoles on October 28th 2022 for a price of just $5

Life In Willowdale:Farm Adventures Out Now For Nintendo Switch, Steam and PlayStation

Life in Willowdale: Farm Adventures features farming gameplay, a cozy town filled with friendly locals and adventures across the region. In addition to farming, the game will have social mechanics, combat, co-op play and much more to make for a family-friendly, engaging and fun experience.

Danger and adventure are always right around the corner in Willowdale. Fight fearsome foes such as the bewildered Outraged Ottis, secluded in The Forgotten Forest or Grumpy George in the Mighty Mountain. The town of Willowdale is surrounded by four Wilderness zones: Flower Fields, Forgotten Forest, Death Desert and the Mighty Mountain, where you can discover and defeat a big boss at the end of each zone.

In Life in Willowdale: Farm Adventures there are 12 BFF characters, each with their own unique ability, and you can take 2 with you when you venture out into the wilderness. So choose wisely! If you prefer to team up with your actual BFF for local co-op play, you can do that too, but only after completing the first five quests. By working together to take care of the crops, rear and care for the animals and going out scouting, you can bring Willowdale back into working order in no time flat!