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Soma- what the hell is it? Week one

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So my first week playing the game horror game Soma, and I’m pretty divided by it. I can’t completely tell you what the full plot is but I can tell you that the bastard above was a hour long pain in my ass. The story involves people consciousnesses into machines and it is eerie how the machines we encounter the blur the line between the perceptions of man and machine and reality. I’ve been chased by a “brute”, a ape like robot and I’ve noticed the great/shitty way the game handles its horror element. When nearby an enemy machine, Jarret’s brain starts freaking out, making the screen appear to glitch and blur, these affects intensifying the more closer you get. When caught, the screen full on glitches, flashing pixalated, creepy images during a loud scratching screech. The bastard above should not be directly looked at; his image blurs and grows brighter as he gets closer but your sight gets slowed and sways when your near and this bastard is always nearby. The environments are disorienting to begin with but this crap was too much. Take four 151 shots in a row, spin around in a haunted fun house hall three times and try finding your way out, welcome to that hour of my life. But I carry on. Thanks for listening to my rant and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Darling

darling

So I was floating around the Netflix horror section late one night and saw a short movie in black and white I never heard of. It begins with a warning about bright flashes and hallucinatory imagery. This movie is Darling. It’s the strange story of a young woman taking care of mansion that may or may not be haunted by the devil as she randomly comes across a guy that may have raped her, causing her to go totally bat shit and kill him. The movie is very ambiguous, leaving a lot of things left to interpretation which is pretty cool. It’s essentially the story of this girl’s intense unraveling of her sanity but there’s a possible demonic edge which is kinda cool. The movie is filmed beautifully and the score compliments it well. I can say this movie really ain’t for everyone, in fact I can say 9 of 10 people I know wouldn’t last it but I enjoyed it for the cinematography and sound and WTF plot. If you want to see something strange, watch this but if you aren’t into low budget art films, this ain’t for you.

Eclipse

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So if I had to pick a best out of the Twilight series, Eclipse, book 3, would probably be my favorite. There is some compelling narration, decent lore building, and a fair amount of tension to leads to…shit. Two books building up to a grand ass revenge and it’s over in a paragraph. No epic fight, hell the fight were hoping for we never see; the movie at least did us that solid. But I need to do this right and summarize the plot of this. Ah hell, here it goes…

So months passed since New Moon ended, Victoria is still on the loose, the werewolves still hate the Cullens, and teen bullshit. Edward and Bella still going back and forth bout the whole I wanna be a vampire/ I have no soul cuz I’m a monster crap. Also Jacob is all emo again because Bella ain’t into dog sex, she’s all into screwing rich dead people. I always thought Bella was a gold-digger myself. Anyway, they’re also almost graduating from school and apparently people are disappearing in the city next to Forks. So Jacob pops up at there school, letting it out that the two factions almost had it out trying to get Victoria. Soon after, they discover Victoria is stalking Bella, Blah blah blah Victoria is trying to make an army of newborn crack vampires to kill Bella so the Cullens and werewolves have to band together and stop her. Oh and they get engaged while Jacob tries to jump into her pants.

Ok, so Eclipse is the best of the four. There is a fair sense of tension and some cool lore sprinkled throughout. BUT the dialogue is crappy, all the characters just feel whiny, all built tensions just squeak fart out instead of being a cool climax. The movie is full of the bad emo acting the Twilight movies are famous for but we do a decent fight at the end. The first couple minutes of the movie are a nice touch that actually can trick you into thinking its a horror- HAHAHA don’t fall for it. This movie maybe directed by David Slade, director of the totally underrated 30 days of Night movie but he couldn’t even save this damn movie. Anyway, thank you for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hellsing Ultimate

Hellsing ult

It’s been awhile but I’m finally back with part three of my best and worst of vampires thread. Let’s face it, if you caught my last two parts you can probably guess what part three and four of the worst will be. It’s quite obvious really. But the best parts likely aren’t. So I’m here to talk a little bit about my favorite interpretation of Dracula ever, Alucard. Specifically Hellsing Ultimate; I’ve never actually watched the first anime but I’ve been told by many that Ultimate, which follows the manga more closely than the first, is far superior. So Hellsing Ultimate is the story of the Hellsing Organization led by Integra Windgates Hellsing, descendant of the famous Van Helsing continuing to keep Great Britain safe from the creatures of the night. Her personal guard and secret weapon is Alucard, a very powerful, ancient vampire that has served the Helsings for ages back. Occasionally killing lesser vampires and fighting the never ending grudge with rival and nemesis Alexander Anderson, a catholic priest with grand regenerative abilities from a rival organization. Alucard, known for being cruel and ruthless, takes pity on a dying police woman named Seras Victoria and turns her into vampire instead of letting her die. We follow Alucard and the rest of the Hellsing Organization as a devastating plot unfolds involving Nazi vampires, a over militarized Vatican, an android and treason from within themselves.

Holy shit this anime is crazy but so incredible it has to be seen. Crispin Freeman as Alucard steals the show for me. In fact, the main characters are all deep and well developed. This series avoids a lot of modern day vampire tropes which is refreshing: Alucard DOES NOT fall in love wit either female lead nor is a “sensitive monster”, the female leads are strong, ground, thoughtful women- not damsels in distress, and Alucard isn’t creepy or brooding. He’s a fucking pimp but isn’t Bela Lagosi. I love that Hellsing Ultimate pulls no punches dealing with religious, sexual, political, or historical subject matter but keeps an elegance to it. Instead of standard 30 minute episodes, there is only 10 but each is like a mini movie which is cool. Definitely check out Hellsing Ultimate if you like Dracula, vampires, crazy shit, or bloody anime. As always thank you for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Tales from the Borderlands

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The last Borderlands game before we finally get 3 and it’s from TellTale Games, king of point-and- click adventures with stories that keep you hooked. At first I was pretty against the idea of a different kind of Borderlands game but after the first twenty minutes I was hooked. Tales takes place after 2 and we follow our main characters Rhys- a Hyperion stooge with a cybernetic arm and eye looking to make it big along with his friend Vaughn and there stolen Loader Bot, and Fiona- a wanted con woman looking for a big score with her little sister Sasha. These characters all meld together along with others from the series as they venture to battle more bandits, and assemble a robot that will help them find the Vault of the Traveler, unlocking more of the universe then they could possibly imagine. Holy shit was this a fun way to get a platinum trophy. Because of it being Borderlands it’s a story full of the series trademark outrageous humor and sad drama. Towards the end, I freaked out with nerdgasmic glee at how epic it was. A few times the game felt a little slow but I could never call it boring. The characters were memorable while all the cameos were pretty welcome; at the end of the third episode there a freaking awesome 2 on 2 fight leading into the beginning in the Pre-sequel. Overall, Tales from the Borderlands is a great addition to the series and as I said, it’s a fun, easy way to get a platinum trophy. As always, thank you for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Borderlands: The Pre-sequel

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What was Borderlands missing? How about Borderlands…IN SPACE! for the third game in the series we are lead into space to recount the downfall of the Vault Hunters and the rise of one of gaming’s greatest recent villains, Handsome Jack. For once we already know our characters we play as: Wilhelm the Enforcer (Jack’s cyborg bodyguard from 2), Athena the Gladiator (General Knox’s Atlas assassin from 1’s DLC), Nischa the Lawbringer ( Jack’s future girlfriend and tyrannical sheriff of Lynchwood in 2) and Claptrap (formerly the ninja-assassin Claptrap of 1’s DLC). Like with 2, there are two extra characters with the DLC. In essence, of the three FPS games, Pre-sequel is the shortest story and game wise. I redboxed it when it first came out, and avoided most of the side quests, I got half way through the game in less than six hours. The strongest pro of the game is the story. Jack is likable but we understand how his good motives turn dark and how the heroes we thought were good are just as guilty for the events of Pandora’s decline as Jack is. I love that by the end no one feels completely good or evil. The newest mechanic is the Zero Gravity and oxygen need. I’m fine with the oxygen completely, and I like the joke they make about Claptrap not needing air. The Zero Gravity both helps and hurts the game. Its a fun new challenge bouncing around the moon shooting at space bandits with your new lasers, but at the same time it becomes harder to find your way around and sometimes this gets really annoying. Probably the biggest flaw I got with this game is the side missions aren’t that great. 2 skillfully made them feel natural and a lot of them were funny as hell so we didn’t mind doing them; Pre-sequel has some like this but there is a lot of them that feel like busy work. Overall I liked the game and recommend it if you played the others but don’t let it be your first impression of the series. As always, thank you for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Borderlands 2

boderlands 2

This really is no place for a hero; I love Shortchange Hero by The Heavy, seriously awesome song. Borderlands 2 is one of the best games I’ve ever played. Set five years after the fall of the Atlas Corporation and the first Vault was open, the sequel begins with 4 new Vault Hunters being commissioned and betrayed by maniacal head of the Hyperion Corporation, Handsome Jack. Our new heroes are Axton the commando, Maya the Siren, Salvador the Gunzerker, and Zero the assassin. Together they must journey to Sanctuary, where most of the lovable characters we came to know and love from the first game, rejoining the old Vault Hunters and rebelling against Jack before he can reach another vault and unleash the devastating power of the Warrior on Pandora. Borderlands 2 masterfully improves on everything that was great about the first game and expanding on it. The gameplay is just as fun but now every character is amazingly OP ; every character is fun and funny but this is a much darker story. A few scenes hit me square in the heart while others made me nearly piss myself in laughter. I’m happy to say the game has a hell of a lot of replay value- I’m on my sixth play through and not bored yet- and both great solo or with friends. If you never played it, pick it up today. You’ll fall in love with the residents of Pandora and there badassness. Thank you as always and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Borderlands

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There really is no rest for the wicked when you’re a Vault-Hunter. Borderlands is a fun first shooter, open world RPG revolving around four strangers searching for a legendary alien vault on planet Pandora: Mordecai the hunter, Lilith the Siren, Roland the soldier, and Brick the Beserker. Each character has there own play style and special talents. For example Roland is a expert with a assault rifle and shotgun that can deploy a turret that can upgraded to fire rockets as well as attach an elemental damage onto the gunfire. All four characters are fun but they don’t really have an identity. The game is fun but repetitive and man the final boss sucks. I had a lot of fun gathering loot in the form of guns, shields, grenade mods, and class mods and leveling up. The downside of leveling up is that it drags a bit. Borderlands has some of the best DLC I’ve ever played and in it comes more of the crass humor the series becomes known for. If you ant a heads up to be a epic badass, choose Lilith, who becomes OP as hell real quick (a tip from Torsten V). In the end, Borderlands is fun but kinda meh but with some decent humor and a cool intro cutscene. Cage the Elephant anyone?

The Disappointments Room

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Well, the title lives up to it’s name; I’ve seen reviews on YouTube for the this, all scathing and so I thought I might be that 1 guy that found something nice to say since I famously like many movies most people conventionally hate. Well, this sure as shit wasn’t the case here. This movie sucks.

So the Disappointments Room is about a family with the a troubled past is moving into a new house because the wife Dana (Kate Beckinsale) is a architect. Her husband stays home and plays XBox all day. We piece together the family of three used to be four but there baby died. Oh and typical ghost shit is happening to Dana and maybe there son Lucas too. She finds a hidden room one night and the ghost shit gets more intense but we start finding out Dana is probably crazy because we learn she tried to kill herself once and she decides to flush her meds down the toilet. She finds out the room was went for the original owner’s deformed child, who he killed with a hammer because people were total dicks back then. Oh and Havok from X Men is in this shit stack, and he tries getting in Dana’s pants with dialogue straight out of a porno but I’m pretty sure she just uses his ass for smokes…Ok, screw this movie. If it seems I half assed this review, well they half assed this movie. The acting is dogshit all around. The premise could have been really good and I do have a certain affection for those kind of stories abound freaks and deformed kids but that’s like an after thought throughout the movie. The “scary” shit doesn’t feel threatening at all and there are some dumbass jump scares when it seems nothing is happening. The ending is laughably bad too. Skip this stinky ass shit waffle of a movie and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Soma- day one

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So in preparation for what we at Saviorgaming consider Christmas minus the presents and cheer, replaced by candy, drunk people, and gore I wanted to play a horror game I never played before. Months ago I got Soma off of a PS flash sale and kept it for just such a occasion. I briefly researched it before buying it and watched a couple of trailers. Soma is a first person stealth horror game made by Frictional Games, makers of smash horror hit Amnesia: the dark descent. We play as Simon Jarret, a man suffering from brain damage after a car accident that killed his girlfriend (?). During a new kind of treatment I guess, Simon wakes up in a isolated underwater facility full of busted down machines that are in pain. And there’s a mechanical beast lurking the corridors. So from my first experience I got a strange Alien: isolation / Bioshock vibe. Once underwater the environments were beautiful and tense. It’s definitely a “where the hell do I go” game and like Isolation, be prepared to hide and take it slow. Unlike Isolation, you have no kind of weapon to defend yourself with. I noticed being near the first monster, my brain started glitching out, before it caught me which was a creepy effect. So far it’s interesting and a pretty game to behold, but it’s only day one. Thank you as always for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.