Category: Movie Review

No Tell Motel

ntm

The typical road trip gone wrong story. A group of friends in a beat up old motor home going god knows where end up at an old abandoned motel. A motel with a dark ad deadly history. The story is actually not all that good and is quite dull most of the time, not really picking up until the last 20 minutes or so.

The acting is passable tho admittedly I never even remotely cared about the characters. It is far from being the worst movie i have seen lately, I am actually pretty sure many of you will enjoy it. I simply will did not. There are a couple of nice twist and turns that were kind of nice and I should warn you there are some seriously twisted moments in here that are not for the easily upset. By all means check this one out, but maybe don’t let the entire night depend on it. Thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Revenge of the nerds

revenge of the nerds

My all time favorite comedy that every nerd needs to see at least once. Revenge of the nerds follows two best friends, Louis and Gilbert, that go start Adams College. It’s the school of there dreams, but every for every nerd there’s a jock. Enter the Alpha Betas, the big men on campus, the football players who drunkenly burn there own frat house down. Because they are your stereotypical assholes, they commander the freshmen house, casting them all out, including Louis and Gilbert. The refugees are forced to live in the gym until they get adopted by fraternities of there own; one by one people get taken but the lonely handful of nerds. So they have to band together and find a nice place of there own, but those damn Alpha Betas won’t let them be. For every dick act of the A-Bs, the nerds find a hilarious way to retaliate whether it’s stealing there cheerleaders panties, pouring liquid heat in there jock straps, or kicking there asses in the homecoming carnival. For how funny as hell the movie is, there is a good message I’d like to share with you: if you’re a nerd, be proud. I never forgot that. The nerds are all likable and Louis and Gilbert have great chemistry as best friends. The hi jinks are funny and raunchy but never really vulgar like many of today’s comedies so younger folks can get away with watching it. Overall, if  you need a good laugh I seriously recommend it to get in touch with your inner nerd.

Grabbers

grabbers

This movie is a solid enough movie with a cool premise to be worth checking out, but I have no clue what to classify this as. It can be a sort of horror monster type movie, but  I also would not argue with comedy. The movie starts with a female cop arriving at a small fishing island that is part of Ireland. After meeting some of the locals our lady hero meets her functional alcoholic partner and tosses him in the drunk tank mostly because she has no clue where he lives.

Eventually our sea monster will appear, an ugly tentacle monster that is allergic to alcohol.So what is a proper Irish lad and lass to do? Well get the entire town drunk so they can keep their blood of course.The movie has some small laughs and is quite charming and while it doesn’t fit into any one category it does everything quite well. I suggest you check this one out, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

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The killing of a sacred deer teaser

sacred deer

So my lil sis told me about a cool trailer she saw a few days ago, so I had to check it out and I gotta say I was intrigued. Colin Farrel and Nicole Kidman star in a “Revenge saga” where Farrel plays a surgeon and Kidman has a family that seems to be in mourning over a wrongfully diseased family member…I think. The trailer was pretty damn vague. I did enjoy the eerie song the girl sings throughout the trailer, not being purposefully creepy like Elm Street but honestly pleasant which makes it more effective. I can’t tell you what I expect but I can tell you it got interested so it did it’s job. I’ll be keeping an eye out on the upcoming trailers for Sacred Deer, but it looks to have promise.

Dead Before dawn

dead before dawn

A high school kid gets stuck watching his grandfathers occult shop with a few simple rules, including don’t touch the vase with human skull attached to it. Of course when the woman of his dreams wants a closer look they gotta go messing with it. After it gets broken and they mock the spirit trapped within the vase, starting at 10 P.M. anyone they look in the eyes commits suicide and comes back as a half zombie half demon. And and yes this movie is as silly as it sounds but luckily it comes of pretty fun if you like comedy horror movies. It never truly takes itself serious but it rarely outright makes fun of itself and the acting it well done so the below average script is more than made up for. If you need a cheap laugh this may be for you, have a good night and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Dredd

dredd

Dredd is probably one of the most criminally underrated superhero films of all time. As you can tell by the poster, this is a much darker, faithful adaptation to the comic book source material. Karl Urban replaces Stallone as a much more mysterious, quieter, more intimidating Judge Dredd  this time around. The plot is simple: a deranged drug lord named Mama holds in a massive apartment complex with a army of armed assholes and it’s up to Dredd and rookie Judge Anderson to take survive the onslaught of assholes, corrupt Judges, and Mama. The movie is simple but great. The action is intense and the kills are bloody. Whereas the first movie was more epic in scope, this one mainly takes place in one location but it never really gets boring. Dredd’s look is a lot more toned down and realistic; Karl Urban is the perfect Judge Dredd I have to say. Mama is a dark, scary ass villain and I take my hat off to Lena Headey  who is probably the best female  super villain I’ve seen to date. Olivia Thirlby is a good contrast to Urban’s Dredd while still being a good character on her own. I have really one small gripe about the movie; Ma-Ma’s drug causes you to experience extreme Slow-Mo which at first can be annoying but it isn’t overused and usually has a satisfyingly messy payoff. Overall, I highly recommend Dredd as a underrated superhero action movie. Thanks for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Judge Dredd

judge dread

First I gotta start this review by giving a shout out to my friend Autobot who celebrated his birthday yesterday and gave me the idea to do today’s reviews; love ya kid. So I know the 90’s Judge Dredd film adaptation isn’t really looked upon highly- ok, I’ll bite, I know it’s in that so bad it’s good category- but that and Batman Forever made me want to create a superhero story of my own. I saw both films at the local drive-in with my parents and on big screen it was something mind blowing. Dredd’s first appearance on screen riding through the flames on his Lawmaster was imprinted in my memory as one of the most epic things I’ve ever seen.

Judge Dredd takes place in Mega City; a massive, overpopulated city where crime and anarchy takes hold on a daily basis. To keep peace and order, there are a police force that are judge, jury, and executioner all in one- the Judges, Joseph Dredd being a legend among them. Our story revolves around Dredd having to team with his best friend/partner/hidden crush Hershey and wimpy hacker Fergee have to team up to thwart a plot to dismantle the Judges from inside, leading Dredd to battle the law, Cursed Earth outside the city, and his own blood in the form of psychotic ex- Judge Rico.

So the question, how does this movie hold up 22 years later- oh shit I’m old- well it holds up fine as a 90’s action superhero movie. It ain’t Steele after all. It doesn’t hold to the dark, gritty, serious tone of the source material very much. We see Stallone’s face a lot, he smiles, there’s a ass load of one liners that hit and miss and the costume is a bit ornate but I still enjoy it. A lot of the acting is over the top and even cooky but I can’t help but like Stallone as Dredd; Max Von Sydow as Chief Justice was the best performance as well as a really good performance from Rob Schneider as Fergee. The Angel Family in the desert…I love them. A family of god loving cannibals that look like a futuristic Hills Have Eyes Family. My favorite part by far. Overall if you want a fun 90’s action movie, go for it, but if you want the real Dredd experience, watch the 2012 movie with Karl Urban- review later today. Thanks for reading, and as always, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cottage Country

cottage country

Todds plan is simple. Take his girlfriend to his parents cottage, propose marriage, get laid. His brother on the other hand decides to show up uninvited. When Todd accidentally kills his brother with an ax things only begin to go really wrong. After disposing of his brother and his brothers girlfriends body they come home to discover a raging party and the body count climbs even higher.

The movie in itself isn’t bad, but it doesn’t deliver on the laughs one would expect from a a movie staring Tyler Labine. I would honestly suggest checking out some of his other movies for example Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Review which was a far superior movie. Best of luck and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Black Room

The Black Room

This movie is a bit odd. I can’t call it good, but I also won’t say it is bad. The movie starts out with a sleeping woman at her grandmothers house and some strange noises in the basement. The grandmother seems to know what it is going on and isn’t happy. The next part for lack of a better term ( ok for those that are a bit squeamish or easily offended please stop reading..seriously) anyway for lack of a better term the young but adult woman is raped by a ghost. Afterwards the grandmother is killed attempting to protect her granddaughter who is later burned badly.

Flash forward to a new couple buying the house and all hell breaks loose, more people are killed, bunch of nudity and more awkwardness of women  alone in rooms having orgasms from a incubus demon. All in all the movie is entertaining in that what the hell am I watching way and is not well made in anyway. As always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Boo 2005

boo

I won’t say this movie is bad, but veteran horror fans will find little to enjoy. While it had some creepy moments and would probably be enough for casual fans this left much to be desired. A group of guys bring dates into an abandoned hospital in an attempt to scare female friends quickly end up in a fight for their lives against a dead patient trying to escape. Oh and did I mention a friend ha been there fixing the place up to make a creepy place even creepier?  The premise of the movie was solid despite the cliche nature, but sadly it falls flat very quickly. Thanks for your time and may the gaming god bring you glory.