Category: Movie Review

The Turning trailer

For the millionth time; I’m really starting to think Hollywood is running out of ideas. The Turning is a modern telling of the classic horror story “The Turning of the Screw” and while I’d say this movie seems to be filmed pretty well, this looks generic as hell. I can’t say this movie is fully to blame, the source material is classic and has surely influenced countless others, but that being said this looks like every evil kid/ haunted house story ever. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Candyman

candyman

Candyman is one of those rare horror classics I haven’t seen fully until just recently. Based off of the short story “The Forbidden” by Clive Barker (one of my favorite horror authors), I was excited to see what this icon had in store for me.

Helen Lyle and Bernadette Walsh are grad students investigating a local urban legend held accountable for several grisly murders, the Candyman. If you look into a mirror and say his name 5 times, a figure with a hook for a hand disembowels you. Upon further investigation Helen learns where this story originated, a young African American man was brutally killed by having his arm cut off and slathered in honey so he would by stung to death by thousands of bees and finally his body was burned and his ashes were scattered in what would be a run down apartment complex near her. She takes the legend in jest and summons the haunting figure who turns Helen’s life upside down to continue his legend; can Helen bring down the figure before he steals a baby’s life as well as her own?

While not perfect, I can safely say Candyman is a classic. Tony Todd as Candyman is menacing and his voice is frightening; my only grip is that they echo him too much and there’s a few times it becomes hard to understand his lines. I love the cinematography and the use of symbolism. My favorite besides Candyman’s full  reveal at the end is the entrance to his lair being a painting of his screaming face. Virginia Madsen as Helen isn’t a typical survivor girl and I liked her as a main character. The movie’s pacing is good and the score is pretty different which gives the movie a tone different than most slasher movies. A couple of times the effects look kooky but nothing unforgivable by any means. Candyman is definitely a movie I recommend to any horror fan who never saw it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Phantasm 2

phantasm 2

Phantasm is one of my all time favorite horror movies and one of my first reviews I ever did on the blog. The Tall Man is a dark, menacing figure with untold horrors at his disposal. Unlike typical horror series though, Phantasm has a huge story that continues each installment.

The sequel picks up right where the first left off. Mike and Reggie barely escape there house, blowing the Tall Man up inside. Mike tells his story to the cops and is understandably thrown into the funny farm, released when he’s a full grown adult, reuniting with Reggie who go on a cross country hunt for the Tall Man. Setting up another remote funeral home, the Tall Man and his minions come across a gifted young woman named Liz. Can Mike and Reggie vanquish the sinister Tall Man once and for all?

I got to admit, as far as sequels go, Phantasm 2 is pretty damn awesome. The story stays fresh and stays strangely unpredictable as the original was. Angus Scrum is once again awesome as the Tall Man. The score is a cool, more action paced version of the original. There is a awesome amount of kills, including new modifications to the sphere that are simply badass. I definitely recommend checking out this strange, WTF, sequel that doesn’t disappoint if you loved the first. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Dragonball Z: Fusion Reborn

dbz fusion reborn

All hell basically breaks loose as a new entity emerges in the afterlife, busting the barrier between HELL and the living world. This means many of the familiar Z rogues have returned to Earth including Frieza, Bojack, The Ginyu Force, and Cell ( and a hilarious caricature of Adolf Hitler) and it’s up to Gohan, Videl, Goten, and Trunks to stop them. Meanwhile, in the afterlife, Goku finds a fat, yellow, baby like dimension warping creature called Janemba is the source of the commotion. Using the full power of Super Saiyan 3 he puts Janemba down, or so he thinks. Janemba returns in a sleek, more malevolent form and quickly overpowers Goku’s SS3 form. The only solution is to fuse with Vegeta through the fusion dance, which they’ve never done before. Can our heroes get there shit together and beat this dimension shattering foe?

Fusion Reborn is probably my favorite movie from the DragonBall Z: The Buu Saga era. The fights are badass and Janemba is a strange but fitting fiend I prefer over Buu if I’m going to be honest. Seeing other DBZ villains return was awesome and the Hitler cameo was easily one of the funniest moments I recall from anime. My only real gripe is that once Gogeta shows up,  Janemba is finished in about 3 seconds, feeling way too abrupt for my taste. Fusion Reborn is a cool, pretty badass movie I recommend to any DBZ fan. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Gretel and Hansel teaser

Seeing IT Chapter Two (Review) with Savior, I was pleasantly surprised to see this trailer. The idea of doing a genuine horror movie in the style of The Witch: a New-England Folktale based on the dark as hell original Grimm Fairy Tales is pretty ingenious. Hopefully the January release day is simply a coincidence and it’ll be awesome. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Birds of Prey full trailer

This caught me through a loop; I seriously thought the other teasers were the actual trailers? Anyway, here’s the first real look at Birds of Prey and all I can think of is that it’s pretty much a Harley Quinn movie. I’m ok with that because Margot Robbie was great as Joker’s other half; my fear is that this is looking to be a all female Suicide Squad in regards to tone and a really misplaced villain. I’m hoping for the best but I ain’t impressed. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

IT Chapter Two (Review)

This one is hard for me to review. Any long-time followers know I loved the first chapter. It was one of my favorite movies of 2017. Which is why it pains me to say Chapter 2 is a huge disappointment to me. There was no reason this thing should have been almost three hours long.

It started out so strong is the worst part. One of the biggest things I disliked about the original was how long it took to introduce everyone as adults. This time around they got it right, it took much less time an got us right to the point. The group regathers and we get down to business.

This is at least what you would think. This is when we spend what feels like hours in flashbacks as they collect tokens for the ritual they will use to defeat this evil entity. It doesn’t stop there, unlike most of the scares in the first one, this is almost all jump scares, and mostly not even good ones. You could see them coming a mile away, even the woman next to me that screamed easily at first was laughing halfway through the movie. Yes, the movie was more funny than scary for many of us in the theater.

There was also like a 5 second musical part that was really out of place. Seriously, a monster spews black stuff into a guys face, pop music kicks in, stops and that is the end of it.

The movie wasn’t all bad by the way, the laughs were good and I enjoyed the special effects. The casting was also possibly the best I have seen in a movie in years. The adults were damn near perfect for each of the children and they even really come across as old friends coming back together.

The biggest issue tho is the pacing is all off, it never should have been so long. A ton of the movie was unnecessary. I won’t mention the ending because I don’t want to spoil that, but I hated that as well. This is one you should wait for Netflix or Redbox, Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bill Burr Paper Tiger

Bill Burr Paper Tiger is going to piss off a ton of people. Seriously, he makes fun of everything. From a discussion on racism with someone, his experience with being sexually assaulted at a show to first ladies and robots. He does this all in his usual brash and abrasive way. It is also hilarious. I spent the entire time laughing.

He even took a shot at Stephen Hawking for thinking he was too good to stand up and make his point. I know sounds offensive, watch the stand-up tho and you will still be offended but you will be laughing.

Truthfully his style hasn’t changed, Bill is just Bill. He is simply telling the truth about a lot of things, and others he is clearly just going for a cheap laugh. I love comedies like this because he knows someone is going to hate him after, and he isn’t saying anything inherently wrong but like twelve people are going to overreact and be pissed off more than they should be. So go, enjoy the show and laugh at those twelve people. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.