Category: Movie Review

Matilda

matida

There are times in life we have to go back to go forward. While writing I keep this in mind. As a kid Matilda was one of my favorite movies as a kid and twenty plus years later this movie holds up pretty well.

Matilda WormWood is an incredibly smart little girl living in a family that doesn’t really care, appreciate, or understand her. She finds knowledge and solace within the pages of books, becoming smarter than most adults around her; a gift emerges in the little girl. Matilda can move things with her mind. She finally gets her dream come true when she’s finally enrolled in school, bu that dream becomes a nightmare. Enter the maniacal, cruel, monstrous TrunchBull that runs the school. Her teacher Miss Honey however is the exact opposite, a sweet, kind lady that actually understands her and grows to love her as she does all children. It becomes clear to Matilda after finding out TrunchBull’s dark story that it’s up to her and power to stop her and free the school and Miss Honey from her tyranny…

In many ways, Matilda is the kid’s version of Carrie by Stephen King and it was written by Roald Dahl, writer of such WTF dark kid’s classics as James and The Giant Peach, The Witches, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. There’s a lot of charm and while bleak as hell, there is always a ray of light. I was genuinely glad it had a happy ending. Mara Wilson was especially good as Matilda, being incredibly smart but lovable. I seriously recommend this to pretty much anyone, kids or adults alike. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Meg trailer

So Meg is finally here, adapted from the book about a giant ass prehistoric shark and pretty much seems to be what’s delivered. My friend Autobot, an avid fan of the book, wasn’t very pleased with the trailer. After finishing the book I’m reading now, Meg is next on my reading list. I think it looks like a fun, popcorn monster film with some cool visuals in the preview. The damn PG-13 rating is a red flag and a half to me. Time will tell as always, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Day of the Dead:Bloodline (2018)

day of the dead bloodline

Day of the Dead:Bloodline is a re-imagining of Romero’s 1985 Day of the Dead, tho it is quite a bit different. While the same general Idea is there about zombies taking over the world and people living in small armed camps that are heavily guarded in order to keep people safe the over all story has changed significantly, and that is actually a good thing.

Rather than trying to do the same thing better they have realized it is hard to beat someone who has already done great, and they have simply tried to be great on their own which is succeeds at nicely. While searching for antibiotics to save a sick girl at a place the doctor used to go to school they discover a legitimate stalker of hers when she was a student that follows her back to base. After discovering he still maintained his human memories of her and that he hadn’t actually turned they captured him and attempted to use him to find a vaccine for the zombie virus, or as they call them rotters.

While it is well-known I am a sucker for a good zombie movie it is also well known I am overly harsh on a bad one. This movie doesn’t fall into either category. You won’t see anything new or exciting here and visually it isn’t anything worth writing about, that being said I can’t honestly say it failed anywhere. The movie was entertaining and the gore looked good and at no point did I feel like I was let down anywhere. It was just a good old-fashioned zombie movie. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest

children corn 3

So 90’s kids, have you ever watched Fresh Prince and asked yourself, you know what this show needs, the Children of the Corn? Well you kind of got your wish.

Unlike Children of the Corn 2: The Final Sacrifice which tried to stay somewhat close to the vibe of the first film, Urban Harvest tries to go in a different direction. Josh and Eli are brothers rescued from an abusive dad in Gaitlin and sent to live with foster parents in the big city. Josh, the older of the two brothers, seems more rebellious, breaking his Amish-like wardrobe, making friends and being a normal teen in there Catholic School. Eli stays to his ways, but he brings a gift from home: the corn. We learn they are foster brothers, and Eli has always had a dark part in Gaitlin’s history. Gaining love in devotion from his foster dad, a marketing executive, Eli wants to spread his demon corn throughout the US…yep.

The plot is ludicrous, yes, I’m willing to admit. Most will call it trash; it’s one of my favorite WTF movies next to Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows and Halloween: Resurrection. There are some interesting death scenes combined with effects that are just sub-par to be enjoyable. Eli is a devilishly fun cult leader, second best to Issac from the original. The acting really ain’t too bad for such a laughable premise. It’s a fun kind of horror sequel that can enjoyed on a WTF movie with your friends and some beers. May the gaming gods bring you glory, and more Children of the Corn reviews are on the way.

Children of the Corn 2: The Final Sacrifice

children corn 2

Since I was a kid, I was a huge fan of the Children of the Corn series, for better or worse. Were they ever the crowning gem of horror? Yes and no, while the concepts and things behind them are creepy and there’s some messed up imagery throughout the movies, there is a ton of WTF moments that keep it memorable. Let me say this now, the title of this movie is bullshit: there are 9 of these movies that I’m aware of with a 10th in the making, final sacrifice my ass.

As for plot, it’s a pretty standard horror sequel. The police finally investigate Gaitlin after I guess Burt and Vicky got out and rescue the traumatized surviving children who are either catatonic or what. They are taken to the next town over and through the corn, another kid is possessed and this whole thing starts again. A reporter and his angsty teenage son are there to investigate the previous events but while Danny, the son is finding first love, he is likewise being draw to the children and it’s up to his father to save him before history repeats itself…

Many people have fixed feelings about the first movie, but feelings here are much easier to conclude: this movie kinda blows. There’s a lot of down time between some decent kills but all in all the movie feels longer than it is. Micah as a main villain is nowhere near as memorable as Issac and I found him annoying at times. The acting is meh at best. Sequels are supposed to raise the intensity, raise the stakes with bigger body counts, bigger story and Final Sacrifice just feels like a step back from the first. I’d say it’s safe to skip it and go straight to the batshit that is 3. May the gaming gods bring you glory and tuned for more Children of the Corn reviews.

 

Let Me In (2010)

let me in

I watched Let Me In more on a lark than any real interest in watching another vampire movie. After the Twilight movies every one I watch just seems to be trying to hard to reinvent the wheel rather than just improve it. Let Me In however is a rather nice surprise. The movie is a heart wrenching story about a young 12-year-old boy being bullied at school for being quiet and a bit odd back in the 80’s. He has no friends really, and is a rather quiet scrawny child.

One day at night he meets a 12-year-old girl, at night of course. As they strike up an uneasy friendship things get worse at school. The movie continues and as their friendship grows so does Owens confidence. Abby however seems a little off in the world as they visit the arcade, and doesn’t eat candy or really anything.

Owen will eventually learn to defend himself and that Abby isn’t quite as young as she appears, tho we never learn how old she really is.  The movie isn’t even a horror movie tho there is plenty of death. Abby does drink blood, even kills a few people. Getting bit by a vampire but not killed still results in becoming a vampire, as shown when she is interrupted and later when the person turns the victim is shown bursting into flames in the sunlight as a nurse opens the curtains at a hospital. Vampires are quite traditional even needing to be invited inside or risk death.

The movie won’t be for everyone admittedly. It has a lot of down time much of which wasn’t really that great. Others will find the friendship good enough and worth watching, for me I prefer a little more action. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Accepted (2006)

accepted

What are a group of friends supposed to do when you are expected to go to college but you don’t get in? The only logical and sane thing of course. Invent one. South Harmon college, the first ever college invented by students, for students, with no teachers, no curriculum. But that is ok, the website is fake anyway right? Not quite, see when Bartleby enlist his friend Shermen to build a website to fool his parents, Sherman makes a functional website that accepts thousands of students, all of which bring money kicking this make-believe college into high gear.

It isn’t all fun and games tho when the real Harmon college decides to put an end to this in order to by the land for their own use. Forcing South Harmon college to attempt to become a real accredited college.

The movie is fun and interesting but at times comes across as a down played version of a weird combination of revenge of the nerds and animal house. That isn’t really bad, the movie just isn’t all that new. Worth a watch, just don’t except anything new. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The First Purge trailer

 

Ok, the Purge has never been my favorite horror series; the series actually gets under my skin. We live in turbulent times to say the least, and I feel the series could have said something reflecting this, but it doesn’t. It could have gone balls to the walls and said something about the cruelty of man and been this generation’s Cannibal Holocaust, but nope. This amount of wasted potential outright pisses me off. This trailer does not make me a believer, just a believer this is going to the same of a series that wants to be goofy, provocative,  and shocking all at the same time and just sorta sucks at it all, but that’s my opinion. May the gaming gods bring you glory and be safe this purge…

TMNT

tmnt 2007

I’m not going to lie folks, I never grew up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. No cartoons, video games, comics or anything. In fact my friend Autobot was the one to introduce me to them with the 2007 CGI film which caught me by total surprise. What happens when the turtles go there own separate ways? After the rift between Raph and Leo bursts, the team splits and must get back together to fight a new foe.

I was a lot more drawn to the turtles than I thought I’d be, Raphael is my favorite. Visually the movie’s CGI is really freaking cool to watch and has some really sweet looking moments through out. The bad guy isn’t great but Patrick Stewart is always a great voice actor and it was refreshing not to have Shredder again. It was a fun movie with some deep parts that I recommend for newcomers as well as the long time fans. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bad Boys (1995)

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Oh bad boys, this movie on paper shouldn’t work. But you toss in Will Smith and Martin Lawrence and you are pretty much promised a good time. Will and Martin play cops from Miami that now must get back drugs stolen from the precinct before word gets out they are gone while protecting a lone witness to a murder.

The movie is quite honestly a pretty typical cop movie. Two partners with pretty much opposite personalities solve some sort of crime and hilarity ensues. You honestly won’t see much new here, it’s simply how well it is done that matters here. The action scenes are fun and Will and Martin have amazing chemistry together, the kind that just makes you believe these two are real life best friends. It’s another one of those 90’s movies that people look back at with nostalgia for a reason, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.