
Let me first start this off by saying there are some absolutely amazing horror movies out there. From the old classics to modern movies like Insidious. That being said there is an over abundance of extremely bad horror movies out there. ( if you read my blog even semi regularly you know I have been running into them constantly on Netflix) For some reason it seems like most horror movies made in the last 5 years are simply not creative and don’t seem to have any formula short of throw good looking chicks, random jocks and a nerd into some weird situation involving ghost or demons so most of them can die. Occasionally slap some nudity into the movie slap a seemingly random name on it like “the house hell forgot” and see what happens. Now i’m not sure that’s a real movie, I think i just made it up now but hey who knows. Not that i mind that formula either, the 80’s horror genre is basically full of it and many of them are done really well. Now days it just seems like they make these movies and realize people will watch them chasing that nostalgia trip we all love but can never quite find. That being said its not all negative. There are some great ones out there. For example Cabin in the Woods was amazing and Slither was a very underrated movie that fit nicely into that comedy horror niche. As always thanks for listening to me carry on, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.


People that know me best know I’m a humongous Alien fan. Aliens scared me out of bath time as a kid, and screw your boogeyman, I was afraid of a nine foot tall, drooling, acid blooded, phallic two-mouthed monster that wanted to lay eggs in my chest…also the people that know me best would tell you this explains a lot. When my dad bought me a PlayStation, I received three games with it- Tomb Raider, Spyro the Dragon, and Alien Trilogy. By today’s standards, Alien Trilogy’s graphics are complete dogshit. Watching playthroughs on YouTube, I laughed my ass off as a full fledged adult. The gameplay runs similar to classic Doom, not very original but trusty at the time. The motion tracker is a nice addition to to the HUD, even making that iconic, chilling beep when something comes at you. So what’s the story of Alien Trilogy? Well, it’s a disjointed clash of environments either from the Alien Trilogy or inspired by it, which rationally ain’t such a bad thing. Alien and Alien 3 only had one Xenomorph each and no weapons to real fight with, whereas Aliens there was a horde of the bastards and ammo aplenty; what sick bastard would want to try playing Alien: Isolation on a PlayStation graphics and mechanics? Cheat Codes were a fun addition to the game, giving you unlimited ammo, unlimited health, unlocking every level which gave us the Queen’s liar. So many memories man… what sticks out to me even a decade and a half later are the death scenes. The screen turns to a screen of running blood and every each means of demise changes the foreground: alien death- alien mauls Ripley, roaring at the screen with a bloody face. The Queen stands behind Ripley, tearing her savagely in half with it’s four arms. Trilogy is not the best but if your a huge Alien fan with a PlayStation , give it a try and may the gaming gods be with you all.
I will never listen to my old droog Ludwig Van the same after this real horrorshow book and film. Whether you prefer Anthony Burgess’s telling in invented British slang or you want to get blown away by Stanley Kubrick’s trippy visuals and sound, A Clockwork Orange is a story both thought provoking, disturbing, and grim but beautiful. Clockwork is the story of a young ruffian named Alex and his band of droogs who enjoy mischief and chaos in a dystopian future Britain that thankfully never came to be. In fact, Alex is king of his own little world. His droogs follow his every whim, his parents don’t ask questions why he never goes to school, and everything he does gets a slap on the wrist. In one night they beat a homeless man, steal a car, and get into a giant gang brawl with their rival Billy-Boy, and end the night with some spiked “Milkako” (milk). But Alex isn’t just rage and the ol’ ultraviolence, his greatest love is that of Beethoven. Even when his droogs seem to want a change in the group dynamic, Alex doesn’t seem to care, he merely brings them back into line. But one night, one of their escapades goes wrong, a woman dies and Alex is left alone to suffer the consequences, betrayed by his friends. In prison, serving a twenty year sentence Alex discovers a new kind of experimental government treatment for violent criminals that will get him out in a matter of weeks. It uses a mix of violent imagery and audio to subliminal discourage acts of violence, causing feelings of intense pain. But when Beethoven is part of the program, Alex comes into a dilemia. Released back into a populace he misused, beat, and molested with no way to defend himself Alex truly learns the error of his ways as everything bites him in the ass.


With the first trailer for Cult of Chucky debuting, the seventh movie in the series, I thought it’d be fun to look at the the first installment of the series that veered away from the standard slasher archetype and became the the dark horror comedy it’s known for being today. Chucky’s shredded remains are found by his loving, yet murderous girlfriend Tiffany, played by Jennifer Tilly, who stitches him back together and chants the same spell over the doll’s body to bring him back to life. Alive again, Chucky smothers Tiffany’s goth boy-toy. Briefly the couple has a happy reunion before, in a fit of anger, Tiffany locks Chucky in a baby crib which pisses him off, especially locking him in with a bridal doll. He manages to break free, killing Tiffany by knocking her TV into her bath, but he isn’t done yet: he transfer her soul into the bridal doll. After Tiffany gives herself a makeover, the couple go on a murderous cross country trip to get to Chucky’s original body in New Jersey for the amulet that can transfer them to normal bodies again.
So the other day I spent a couple hour flying around 600 light years round trip. So now here I am to pass some of that experience on to you. First buy the best fuel scoop you can or else you end up sitting like this for 15 minutes waiting to refuel.


