Tag: Horror

Satanic

Satanic

Satanic (2016) was written by Anthony Jaswinski and directed by Jeffrey G. Hunt is the story of four friends that stop off in L.A. to view some occult tourist spots. Like all movies like this, it eventually leads to witnessing an excommunication from some satanic cult that for whatever reason had to be done topless. All the characters seem to fit the usual stereotypes. The jackass jock, the nice girl next door, the goth chick and the dude that seems like he is trying to fit in with the goth chick. Of course after helping the homeless girl that now has no place to go. As always it turns out they would have been far better off leaving her on the side of the road waiting for her alleged bus. The movie wasn’t very well received and I can understand why, it was largely just a bunch of horror movie cliches tossed together with cute chicks to round out the experience. Its currently on Netflix if you are interested in seeing how it all plays out. Thanks for being here and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Gallowwalkers Review

Gallowwalkers

Directed by Andrew Goth and starring Wesley Snipes I went into Gallowwalkers (2012) with the expectation of a solid but unremarkable movie. After all its a zombie westernwith Wesley Snipes. So 30 minutes in something doesn’t seem right. So I google this movie and see some horrible reviews. As I continue watching and inch my way closer to the halfway mark I slowly realise this move is not getting any better. At this point Snipes i shooting up a prison with very little explanation as to why the flash back is happening, and these lades ample bosom are not doing a very good job keeping me interested.  You know how bad of a movie it has to be for chicks in Victorian dresses to be the best part of a movie and still have the movie be such a pile of shit I don’t want to finish watching it? Seriously Snipes what the hell were you thinking putting your name on this? Now at about the half way point a bunch of people get the short drop and a sudden drop treatment by whom I assume is the bad guy shot by Snipes in the prison complaining that him, his men and his whore all came back to life but his son did not. Finally some explanation. I’m not going to bother describing the other half of this damn train wreck. And I would recommend  you don’t try to find out. This movie never really gets any better and has few if any redeeming qualities. Thanks for reading, and best wishes from the gaming gods.

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 review

hellraiser 2

Another classic based of a Clive Barker story with the screenplay done by Peter Atkins and directed by Tony Randal. Hellbound takes place directly after the first hellraiser with Kristine now in a mental hospital which should be no surprise. In typical sequel fashion while she begs and pleads for an item to be destroyed so her evil stepmom cant come back from the dead no one believes poor Kristy. You know, until the even more evil occultist head of the mental hospital lets a crazy dude slice himself open reviving Kristys evil  step mom back then later letting another solve the puzzle once again releasing the Cenobites which as far as i can tell are former humans that basically became demons. The movie itself has some flashes of nudity, plenty of death and enough fake blood and dead bodies to drowned a small army. Honestly sitting here watching the movie i couldn’t really see anything that made the movie special even for its time. Worse still it seems even the directer and screenwriter didn’t seem to care enough to do anything new or interesting to the point that even the formerly dead step mother claims the rules of the fairy tale have changed with her no longer just being the wicked step mother but now the evil queen.

I wont go as far to say the movie was bad despite poor ratings on both Rotten Tomatoes (48%) and IMDb (6.5/10) the movie just was not special in any way. Pinhead and the Cenobites aren’t bad villains, they simply don’t seem to be very well utilized this time around.  They come across as a mix between Freddie Kruger and some weird carnival freak show which honestly have simply been done better by others, tho done well enough for there to be 9 movie in the series. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

All Cheerleders Die

all cheer. die

Directed by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson All Cheerleaders Die is a movie about, well cheerleaders. Look i won’t lie to you people, basically i hop o Netflix or Hulu, pick a random movie in the horror genre and watch it. Sometimes I sit down with my laptop, get some writing done or work on my game and enjoy a movie. Other times I end up watching shit like All cheerleaders die. I didn’t pay for this but i still want my money back. The first 30 minutes or so is bitchy but hot cheerleaders going about their lives of back stabbing and being a dick to the less popular kids. The only bright sides or the chicks are pretty odd and at least a few of them are lesbians together. There isn’t a lot of nudity but it would be inappropriate for minors. Shortly after the 30 minute mark  a football player has enough of  a cheerleader berating him in front of everyone and punches her which results in a car chase and a car full of cheerleaders seemingly dead. After some accidental witch craft with some magical rocks the girls are back and that is around the time all sorts of weird shit happens. 2 girls switch bodies,people start dieng and i’m not sure if they are zombies or what the hell is going on,they definitely eat a  dude, well steal his life force or maybe both? Movie is weird. Seriously don’t watch it, or at least be drunk. As always thanks for coming and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Hellraiser Movie review

hellraiser

Hellrsaiser is a classic Clive Barker movie, filled with gruesome deaths, the obligatory sex scene and of course, pinhead. Released in 1987, back when horror movies were the standard family movies into a house and all hell break loose and this is no exception.  The father is pretty much immune to common sense and the outcasted family member is the one that brings the evil into the house while the assumed virgin daughter is trying to find her way in the world. Once again the evil cheating wife is pretty much just there to push the story along. All that isn’t to say the movie is bad, its Clive barker, however it is very basic and cliche on every level imaginable. The visuals for their time are rather nice and the sound is pretty much on par with everything else in that time frame. Pinhead himself look pretty creepy and to this day isn’t the type you would want to run into even in broad daylight. When all is said and done, it is definitely a worthwhile horror flick if you like the 80’s movie genre or horror movies in general. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Killing Floor 2 Review

killing floor 2

Killing Floor 2 is a game I got for free from the playstation network and admittedly i was not expecting much. It looked like a standard first person shooter that was basically a horde mode. While i admit that’s basically what it is, it is also pretty well done. Far more gory than i was expecting the controls are pretty fluid and the depth of weapon customization far surpassed what I thought we would get. I only played the multiplayer online mode and it was a nice mix of challenging and fun tho the boss did pretty much annihilate my entire team pretty quickly. One guy was caught alone and unprepared and the rest of us had no where near the team work required to beat this thing. There were a few things that got me tho. For example there is an extremely limited time to find the upgrade station that moves each round and upgrade your weapons which seems pretty daunting for new players. Another issue is there doesn’t seem to be a clear cut explanation of what each character is good for even tho a few of them are pretty self explanatory. All in all its a solid game that i would have been more than happy to have spent money on, and for free that makes it all the sweeter. Once again thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Friday The 13th: The Game review

Jason

This game for me was long awaited. Finally an 80’s horror game where I simply have to kill everyone or try not to be brutally murdered. But does it live up to the dream? In a word, absolutely. Sure the game does have its issues, for example if its possible I can’t do it, but why can’t these kids jump over a damn fence?  And there are definitely some graphical issues when it comes to glitches and camera angles. That being said the game delivers well in the core concept. As Jason you play as an insanely over powered Jason from various movies and use your ability to sense where people are and teleport to their general area, tho it  far from perfect on where you get dropped, that is half the fun. You can then use various methods to kill the other players, for example the classic machete or stomping their head into a fire place.

Playing as the counselors is also fun, your job is to escape or kill Jason tho the later option is far harder than it sounds and will require a joint effort from everyone.  Other methods of escape include fixing a car or boat by finding the keys, battery and gas hidden throughout the area and you can even call the police, wait for them to arrive then make your way to the exit. This must be done with Jason constantly hunting you and the screams of others are occasionally heard in the distance. Another nice touch is the proximity chat,unless you lose yourself off in a private chat with friends all chat happens when you are close to other players, including Jason. This leads to some interesting things, like being stalked by Jason that is controlled Cleveland from family guy even while he is punching your head off your body. as always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

BloodBorne review

Blood Borne

By now most people that are going to play Bloodborne have done so,so this review is less about convincing people to play and more about the fact that i simply love the game. Put simply its Dark Souls with  slightly different play style and story, both are even made by the same people.

The visuals are great and have a run down Victorian vibe to them and are all around dark and dreary which work well for the game itself. Combat is fast paced and mistakes are generally severely punished as would be expected from a soulsborne style game. Various weapons with vastly different play styles are also present, from quick cane and whip style weapons to massive broadsword type weapons. defensively there is only one shield unlike its predecessor Dark Souls and Demon Souls,and admittedly as far as i can tell its pretty much worthless. Instead, and it sounds weird, your defensive weapons are a selection of gun. Timing a shot right will stun or stop most enemies attacks and leave them open for a visceral attack that it will help you immensely to at least become competent with using.

When it comes to difficulty Dark Souls has a reputation as being some of the hardest ( and earlier iterations broken ) games out there, and Bloodborne is no exception. The 2nd boss in the game, which is also the first required boss has made many people put the game down and never pick it back up. I personally know a guy that it took at least a month to beat, and others I have known did it on their first attempt. I wont say its easier or harder than dark souls 2 or 3, but I will say there is still debate over it. I’ve included some more screen shots below, and until next time happy hunting, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Resident evil 7 review

resident-evil-7-hands

This is my first review, and i am going to make this simple. I will give you the typical 1-10 , 1 being basically unplayable, 10 being damn near perfect and 5 as average.

This game is basically what you would expect. Its the creepy tale of Ethan attempting to save is wife Mia that went missing a few years before. Right from the very beginning all hell breaks out, and without to many spoilers its not long before heads are popping and limbs are lost.

Speaking of not long, the game is short, as in a trophy exist for beating it in under 4 hours. With that being said you would be doing yourself a huge disservice by holding that against it. Sure it will only take about 10 hours to finish but those hours will be well spent.

The game however is not perfect, many of the enemies are bullet sponges even for a resident evil game. Most of the enemies do not respawn but later enemies seem to do so randomly which is rather annoying more than anything.

When all is said and done, the game is worth playing for anyone that loves the horror genre or that enjoys puzzles of which there are many. A solid 7 of 10 that i have zero regrets in buying.