Honestly I was not sold on another footage movie with a shaky camera and some annoying family. But anyway, here I am, watching another one staring Katherine Sigismund,Corey Eid and Ripley Polanski and directed by Matty Beckerman. The movie starts off with a family camping in North Carolina in some mountains known to be home to a bunch of extraterrestrial activity that runs the gambit from weird lights to strange creature sightings and of course rumors of alien abductions. The visuals aren’t as bad as one would think they would be for a movie mostly made up of home movie footage as its happening. It was also pretty nice touch that is done from the sons perspective that many times someone has to remind him to stop filming things, for example a dead animal found the morning of the second day. I didn’t find the movie to be the most interesting thing in the world, but it did a pretty good job at being both creepy and entertaining which honestly is all i ask from a movie. It had its flaws, mostly the same one all these movies have with flickering cameras and being overly dark. They aren’t hard to look passed tho and its absolutely not the worst film in the genre. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
The Diabolical stars Ali Larter, Arjun Gupta and Max Rose, directed by Alistair Legrand is a movie about a widowed mother attempting to protect her children from strange things in her home. Yes, I am well aware that this seems to be a pretty standard movie plot. However, i’m not going to bash this movie for it. This movie actually reminded me that while many stories are done to death brought back to life and beaten to death again, sometimes that story is done well. The movie doesn’t spend a ton of time setting up and gets right into the meat and bones of the story which is a nice change of pace and has plenty of good but not blatant foreshadowing to to the multiple twist at the end, some veteran movie buffs will see coming a mile away, but even at that it is very well done.
The visuals are pretty nice as well, nothing overly gory but enough to get the message across while keeping the story itself realistic while the sound helps paint a nice picture of the struggle this family is facing. The troubled young boy still coping with the loss of his father and the creepy little sister he is over protective of while as cliche a you can get re both well played. Now I admit my first thought here was great, another kid with psychic powers or accidentally conjuring ghost. I found myself at time questioning if this was even what was going on and by the end of the movie there is a clear picture of what is going on and I would be more than happy to say its worth checking out. Thanks for your time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Satanic (2016) was written by Anthony Jaswinski and directed by Jeffrey G. Hunt is the story of four friends that stop off in L.A. to view some occult tourist spots. Like all movies like this, it eventually leads to witnessing an excommunication from some satanic cult that for whatever reason had to be done topless. All the characters seem to fit the usual stereotypes. The jackass jock, the nice girl next door, the goth chick and the dude that seems like he is trying to fit in with the goth chick. Of course after helping the homeless girl that now has no place to go. As always it turns out they would have been far better off leaving her on the side of the road waiting for her alleged bus. The movie wasn’t very well received and I can understand why, it was largely just a bunch of horror movie cliches tossed together with cute chicks to round out the experience. Its currently on Netflix if you are interested in seeing how it all plays out. Thanks for being here and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Directed by Andrew Goth and starring Wesley Snipes I went into Gallowwalkers (2012) with the expectation of a solid but unremarkable movie. After all its a zombie westernwith Wesley Snipes. So 30 minutes in something doesn’t seem right. So I google this movie and see some horrible reviews. As I continue watching and inch my way closer to the halfway mark I slowly realise this move is not getting any better. At this point Snipes i shooting up a prison with very little explanation as to why the flash back is happening, and these lades ample bosom are not doing a very good job keeping me interested. You know how bad of a movie it has to be for chicks in Victorian dresses to be the best part of a movie and still have the movie be such a pile of shit I don’t want to finish watching it? Seriously Snipes what the hell were you thinking putting your name on this? Now at about the half way point a bunch of people get the short drop and a sudden drop treatment by whom I assume is the bad guy shot by Snipes in the prison complaining that him, his men and his whore all came back to life but his son did not. Finally some explanation. I’m not going to bother describing the other half of this damn train wreck. And I would recommend you don’t try to find out. This movie never really gets any better and has few if any redeeming qualities. Thanks for reading, and best wishes from the gaming gods.
Another classic based of a Clive Barker story with the screenplay done by Peter Atkins and directed by Tony Randal. Hellbound takes place directly after the first hellraiser with Kristine now in a mental hospital which should be no surprise. In typical sequel fashion while she begs and pleads for an item to be destroyed so her evil stepmom cant come back from the dead no one believes poor Kristy. You know, until the even more evil occultist head of the mental hospital lets a crazy dude slice himself open reviving Kristys evil step mom back then later letting another solve the puzzle once again releasing the Cenobites which as far as i can tell are former humans that basically became demons. The movie itself has some flashes of nudity, plenty of death and enough fake blood and dead bodies to drowned a small army. Honestly sitting here watching the movie i couldn’t really see anything that made the movie special even for its time. Worse still it seems even the directer and screenwriter didn’t seem to care enough to do anything new or interesting to the point that even the formerly dead step mother claims the rules of the fairy tale have changed with her no longer just being the wicked step mother but now the evil queen.
I wont go as far to say the movie was bad despite poor ratings on both Rotten Tomatoes (48%) and IMDb (6.5/10) the movie just was not special in any way. Pinhead and the Cenobites aren’t bad villains, they simply don’t seem to be very well utilized this time around. They come across as a mix between Freddie Kruger and some weird carnival freak show which honestly have simply been done better by others, tho done well enough for there to be 9 movie in the series. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Directed by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson All Cheerleaders Die is a movie about, well cheerleaders. Look i won’t lie to you people, basically i hop o Netflix or Hulu, pick a random movie in the horror genre and watch it. Sometimes I sit down with my laptop, get some writing done or work on my game and enjoy a movie. Other times I end up watching shit like All cheerleaders die. I didn’t pay for this but i still want my money back. The first 30 minutes or so is bitchy but hot cheerleaders going about their lives of back stabbing and being a dick to the less popular kids. The only bright sides or the chicks are pretty odd and at least a few of them are lesbians together. There isn’t a lot of nudity but it would be inappropriate for minors. Shortly after the 30 minute mark a football player has enough of a cheerleader berating him in front of everyone and punches her which results in a car chase and a car full of cheerleaders seemingly dead. After some accidental witch craft with some magical rocks the girls are back and that is around the time all sorts of weird shit happens. 2 girls switch bodies,people start dieng and i’m not sure if they are zombies or what the hell is going on,they definitely eat a dude, well steal his life force or maybe both? Movie is weird. Seriously don’t watch it, or at least be drunk. As always thanks for coming and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
This movie is directed by Eli Craig and was written by him and Morgan Jurgenson. Now I try not to swear to much because I have no idea who reads this, but what the fuck were these two smoking when they wrote this? And I don’t mean that in a good way or bad way. it was a fun movie. The story goes like this, a group of college kids goes camping and happens to run into Tucker and Dale whom they find a bit creepy seeing as how they are pretty much hillbillys and these are rich college kids. This is where a series of misunderstandings will result in a group of college kids attempting to rescue their friend that doesn’t need to be rescued resulting in even more coincidental and misunderstood deaths. Without giving to much away at one point a guy running from bees after accidentally hitting their nest with a chain saw will result in another guy running away and killing himself on a tree branch because he thinks he i being chased by a guy with a chainsaw. Now i know all of this sounds weird and convoluted, because it is. It somehow manages to come are together as a pretty solid movie. I probably would be upset if i paid real money for this movie, but if you have Netflix i would check it out. Thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Young Frankenstein is directed By Mel Brooks and written by Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder whom also stars in it. The movie released December 15th 1974 and is a comedic take on the classic Frankenstein story involving the great grandson of the infamous Dr. Frankenstein and upon inheriting his estate meets Igor, the grandson of, well Igor. In true Mel brooks fashion hilarity ensues. From the search for grand daddy’s private library, which the first book he finds is conveniently titled “How I Did It” to the realization that since in order for it to work everything must be bigger and as a German woman more politely puts he must have a huge lower extremity. Aside from the black and white picture at no point in this movie did i feel like i was watching a movie that was made going on 43 years ago, and it definitely feels like a Mel Brooks movie easily equal to Space balls or Men in Tights.
My only real issue besides not knowing how of all of brooks movies is and how i missed this one is the very much reveals how many jokes seems to be in multiple Books movies, for example at one point it is pointed out that Igors hump used to be in the other side similar to the witches mole from Men in Tights, but i can forgive that since honestly it works. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.