Category: comedy

Mr B Gone

mr b gone

Clive Barker, over the past decade I’ve been trying to better myself as a writer, has been something of a inspiration to me. While his work I find pretty varied in hits and misses, he is a master of working gruesome details and making the macabre almost beautiful and creative. Since The Hellbound Heart I haven’t read a full book by him, sticking with short stories like those found in Books of Blood (vol 1) , until I read this strange oddity called Mr. B Gone…

Jakabok Botch is a pathetic demon residing in hell with his family. Beaten, hated, and scarred by them, everything changes when he kills his father as he’s pulled to Earth circa the 1400’s. After running from his captors, he sets off on a journey of menace and bloodshed amongst the weak and corrupt disguising himself as a burned man. His only partner in mischief is Quitoon, a lover, a friend, and enemy. Quitoon, fascinated by the inventions of man, is excited by a new invention that will change the world: the printing press…

After finishing the book, I really didn’t know what to think. I like the overall narrative and thought the story itself was pretty inventive. There are some great gore moments and some good dark humor moments. I didn’t like Mr B as a main character and the meta nature of the book itself irked the hell out of me. I’ve never liked stories where the narrator talks directly to the audience so that made the story slog longer for me than it should have; I will say I had to chuckle for the reasoning behind it revealed at the end. While not my favorite by Barker, Mr B Gone should be checked out if you like horror meta fiction but avoided if you want a straight narrative. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Final Destination 3

fd3

It’s been a while since I dug into the Final Destination series and why not resume with the entry that was originally in 3D. From the mid to late 2000’s, 3D made a decent comeback for one reason or another and with Death’s wacky antics, 3D was perfect.

Wendy and a group of her friends and classmates are at a carnival before graduation. Wendy is taking pictures of everyone having fun and all is well. Finally they decide to hop on an intense roller coaster. Wendy has a vision of how things will go horribly wrong and after  getting kicked off the roller coaster, they come to find out it was true. Death is coming for the survivors but can the photographs she took help save them?

Final Destination 3 is pretty much the same formula as the first and Final Destination 2 . Much like the others, it’s not going to scare anymore. You are basically coming for goofy deaths and over the top characters and it delivers. Whether it’s watching 2 Paris Hilton wannabes getting cooked in a tanning bed or getting crushed by a falling sign after a villain speech. I can’t say I liked any of the characters and without Tony Todd’s cameo, there was 0 dread. You can’t really notice the 3D except for a few brief moments in the roller coaster sequence. In the end it’s a forgettable sequel but is fairly humorous. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Anthony Jeselnik: Fire in the Maternity Ward

For anyone that doesn’t know Anthony Jeselnik:Thoughts and Prayers just a quick heads up, he has a pretty out there and offensive sense of humor, and this latest stand-up is no exception. He covers topics ranging from murder-suicide being the best kind of suicide because as long as you kill your wife or husband it is a victimless crime (his words not mine) to a being a great friend and taking someone for an abortion. Any fan of his, however, would expect nothing less and if you fall into that category you won’t be disappointed. His style of comedy is still as good as it ever was, and it may even be better than his first Netflix Special. This one is worth checking out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Spider-man: Far from Home trailer 2

I have to say I had to chuckle that they start the trailer with a spoiler warning for Avengers: Endgame from Tom Holland, who was notorious for spoiling stuff during Infinity War. I have to say, being a long time Spidey fan , I think I figured out the plot from this latest trailer but I’ll call it out in the review. Mysterio looks great and the monsters look pretty cool. I think it’ll be a cool movie and it has the potential to be a great sequel. May the gaming gods brig you glory.

Looking For Alaska

looking for Alaska

I’d like to dedicate this review to the only girl who ever gave me a chance and understood why I loved books. In a strange way this book reflected one of the most painful times of my life, the before, the cataclysm, and the aftermath. We always cling to the before when after falls when all we have is a billion questions and wet, crushed petals of what could have been…

Miles Halter is a smart, quiet young man who is fascinated by last words. He isn’t an outcast but just doesn’t seem the need to stand out. He is sent to Culver Creek, a prestigious boarding school in Alabama, all the way across the US from his native Florida. At Culver Creek, he finds himself amongst a host of snotty rich kids but he finds friends of his own in the prank loving group lead by his his roommate Chip ” The Colonel” Martin and Alaska Young. Alaska’s eccentric ways and mysterious past fascinate Miles, now dubbed “Pudge”, and he can’t help but be drawn to her. Maybe even love her. Hi-jinks ensue when they pull a epic prank on the rich kids and they spend a night drinking to celebrate. Life seems to be going great for Miles until Alaska storms out one night and the After begins, and Miles is left to watch the belonging and life he loved break apart…

For those who read the book, you’ll understand why I pretty much couldn’t talk about the second half of the book. I have to say I really enjoyed this book. The story is well paced and the characters are really likable. The way Green writes is very natural and I have to admit, it was pretty easy to lose a few hours inside of it’s pages which is one of the best compliments I can give a writer. I give him credit on the ambiguity of the ending and for not copping out with a forced happy ending. In the end I highly recommend this book as a good read but also to young inspiring writers too. I’d like to thank my dear friend again for sharing this story with me and I’d like to wish her a happily ever After in a new chapter of her life. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Deadpool 2 (Savior)

Deadpool 2 came out to some mixed reviews is some areas but I felt was pretty funny. The story is pretty standard stuff, Deadpool is killing people and cracking jokes, after all, he is the merc with a mouth. The reason he is killing people isn’t all that clear in the beginning, and I don’t want to give away what changes. He will eventually be fighting Cable to save a kids life. This will make him form a team in efforts to save him.

The movie has quite a bit of action and it shines there pretty well, but the big thing to remember here is a lot of this movie will depend on how you feel about Ryan Reynalds. The humor is quite a bit like his other movies except he is playing Deadpool. This isn’t bad for me, in fact, I really enjoyed it. The jokes made me laugh, for example, at one point he is in the X-Men mansion complaining about the lack of people and the company cheaping out on him when he walks past a room and we get a cameo from a group of X-Men from the movies closing the door real quick on him.

If you enjoyed the first Deadpool you will mostly get more of the same, and there isn’t a ton of twist and turns but the ones that do exist are worth it. I also think the end credits scene may be the best, possibly in movie history. In fact, it alone may be worth watching it for. People that aren’t fans of Deadpool tho may want to avoid this one tho. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween

goosebumps 2

Goosebumps (2015) was a strange thing for ole Torsten: seeing iconic monsters from my childhood on the big screen lead by the freaky talking dummy I fully admit scared me as much as Michael Myers and the Xenomorph when I was a kid but knowing damn well  this movie wasn’t meant for me. It was meant for a generation of young kids who barely know what the hell a book is let alone a Goosebumps book, and that tears my heart out I must admit. So if the first disappointed and made me kinda sad, why watch the second- I’m a glutton for punishment, that’s why.

Goosebumps 2 begins with a small family in the quiet suburbs. Sonny and his best friends are normal kids trying to earn a buck but cleaning out houses and such, and one day they are called to a abandoned old house said to be haunted. They are told they can keep whatever they want, just clean it out. Inside is a old, unfinished manuscript that just happens to belong to R.L Stine. They also find Slappy the dummy and accidentally bring him to life. At first the dummy seems to be a friend but that changes when his intentions become clear- to unleash the power of Stine’s monsters and take over the town. Its up the kids and Sarah, Sonny’s big sister, to take down Slappy before it’s too late.

I have to say I kinda like this movie more than the first but it’s still far from great. This movie doesn’t try to feed you as much nostalgia and does in a lot of ways feel like a more modern episode of the show. The effects are better and the CGI has improved. Jack Black is better both as Stine and Slappy; the kids I wasn’t a fan of at first but they grew on me throughout the movie. This movie, pretty obviously, wasn’t made for the old fans and there are a few scenes here and there that made me groan, and much of the plot feels retold from the first. Honestly, it feels more like a soft reboot than a sequel. In the end, it’s not a terrible movie for kids but its absolutely not a substitute for anything that came before. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sex Drive (2008)

Sex Drive is a 2008 comedy about one man’s quest to lose his virginity to a woman on the internet by stealing his brother’s car, a 69 Pontiac GTO Judge, which his brother loves more than basically anything. Only a few issues with this quest, Ian (Josh Zuckerman) has a friend named Lance. (Clark Duke) Lance is kind of a ladies man and gets them chased by a pissed off redneck that decides he needs to score with a lady he finds crying at a gas station. His best friend from childhood, Felicia (Amanda Crew) is also kind of a cockblock. Not sure she means to, but she has done this quite a few times in their life including one sure thing early in the movie.

Then there is Ezekiel (Seth Green), an Amish man that will routinely save them when their car needs to be fixed. He learned while he was off on the Amish tradition of Rumspringa. The movie explains loosely what it is tho in an extreme version of it. Basically, it is the Amish (and from what I heard Mormon) tradition where at the age of around 16 people are allowed to leave the religion temporarily to experience the rest of the world and return around age 18 to decide if they want to stay or leave forever. Not every sect practices this is a general idea of what it is.

Anyway, after that little learning bit, I am sure most of you didn’t care about, our boy Zeke who is, in my opinion, the highlight of the movie will fix their car a few times and be very sarcastic the whole time. Not because he doesn’t like our group, they actually end up being great friends, he just missed the sarcasm. It is lost on his people according to Zeke.

The movie is typical for the genre, it has its serious moments, it has some nudity and crude humor and is just in general a fun movie if you liked movies like Porky’s or Superbad. If you didn’t however there isn’t much here for you, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sticks:A tool in Time

sticks

I’m dedicating this post to a good friend of mine, Billy, who coincidentally wrote the book which is the topic of today’s blog. Sticks: A tool in time is exactly what the cover and title suggest: a book about sticks. Yes, sticks. No metaphors, no mysticism just ordinary sticks you break off a tree every day. Now, I know what many of you are thinking: “Torsten, why in the fuck do I want to read a book about sticks when I can read about distant fantasy landscapes, millionaires with kinky fetishes, or secret agents?” Well my friend, I have 2 reasons why you should. The first being a response to your thoughts, yes those are fun subjects to dive into but there are so many books about the same thing, but how many are about sticks? Also, its absurdly hilarious. Savior laughed himself silly and honestly I had a good many laughs too; the book is written to be self aware and laughs are intended. I’m well aware the humor won’t catch on everyone but it’s a fun, small read you can find cheap on Amazon ( link listed below) and I wish my friend the best and can’t wait for the next installment. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Check Amazon to buy a copy.

The Bye Bye Man

bye bye man

It’s been a long time since I saw a movie quite like the Bye Bye Man. Once in a great while I see a horror movie so bad it’s funny, which is why I’m regarding it as a comedy too. All the better is it’s not like Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn , which know it was goofy and this movie basically tries to be as serious as it can be with a hack premise. But the question is, how bad are we talking?

In typical horror cliche fashion, three college kids rent a old house near campus. While cleaning out the old furniture, they find a old nightstand with a bunch of deranged carvings on the the inside reading ” don’t say it, don’t think it.” and the words the Bye Bye Man. From there, the teens being seeing things and a tall man with a dog stalks there’s minds but they can’t stop the urge to spread the madness of the Bye Bye Man…

As a horror movie, Bye Bye Man is utter crap but as a ” so bad its good” movie its freaking awesome. The imagery behind Bye Bye man isn’t explored at all like the train images or what’s up with him and his dog. The acting was hilarious, especially from the lead actress and one particular scene from the lead character in a car that had me in stitches. The effects are laughably bad. The movie doesn’t really drag so that’s a positive. In the end, stay away if you are looking for scares but looking for unintentional laughs, step right up. May the gaming gods bring you glory.