Lizzie Borden took an ax, gave her mother 40 wacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41. No, this movie this movie isn’t about Lizzie Borden exactly. This takes place over 100 years later when the house is left to a woman that married into the Borden family and searches down her step daughter, the last of the Borden blood line. Its a pretty interesting concept that sadly doesn’t really come out well mostly because of laziness, not sure if that laziness came from writers Nicole Holland and Mike Rutkowski or directer…well Mike Rutkowski. Much of the movie involves actors staring off into space until something happens or possessed killer standing there with a ghost behind her back until the ghost raises an arm with a knife and the possessed woman attacks. In another scene a crowbar is used to bust into a room yet the very next scene shows the door is undamaged. It was a strong concept with some pretty bad follow through. It is also full of haunted house cliches just piled onto each other many times simultaneously. One scene has spinning clock hands and flashing lights leading into the eventual revelation to the others that one character is adopted and that is why her brother is actually safe. The topping of this shit show for me was the horrible sounds of hitting widows with axes and a crowbar and getting a weird thudding sound when they don’t break, I assume because of the demon that is stalking them but suddenly won’t come into the house and finish them off. As always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
I must admit, when it comes to this game I’m pretty bias. I love aliens, government conspiracies, zombie plagues, The X Files, and Marilyn Manson, so to have a gave that encompasses all these things hooked me. It’s the only game I’ve ever collected 100% of the hidden collectibles. Of the PlayStation 2/ XBox era, I feel Area 51 is a well overlooked title that at the very least deserves a PlayStation 4/ XBox One re-release.
People that know me best know I’m a humongous Alien fan. Aliens scared me out of bath time as a kid, and screw your boogeyman, I was afraid of a nine foot tall, drooling, acid blooded, phallic two-mouthed monster that wanted to lay eggs in my chest…also the people that know me best would tell you this explains a lot. When my dad bought me a PlayStation, I received three games with it- Tomb Raider, Spyro the Dragon, and Alien Trilogy. By today’s standards, Alien Trilogy’s graphics are complete dogshit. Watching playthroughs on YouTube, I laughed my ass off as a full fledged adult. The gameplay runs similar to classic Doom, not very original but trusty at the time. The motion tracker is a nice addition to to the HUD, even making that iconic, chilling beep when something comes at you. So what’s the story of Alien Trilogy? Well, it’s a disjointed clash of environments either from the Alien Trilogy or inspired by it, which rationally ain’t such a bad thing. Alien and Alien 3 only had one Xenomorph each and no weapons to real fight with, whereas Aliens there was a horde of the bastards and ammo aplenty; what sick bastard would want to try playing Alien: Isolation on a PlayStation graphics and mechanics? Cheat Codes were a fun addition to the game, giving you unlimited ammo, unlimited health, unlocking every level which gave us the Queen’s liar. So many memories man… what sticks out to me even a decade and a half later are the death scenes. The screen turns to a screen of running blood and every each means of demise changes the foreground: alien death- alien mauls Ripley, roaring at the screen with a bloody face. The Queen stands behind Ripley, tearing her savagely in half with it’s four arms. Trilogy is not the best but if your a huge Alien fan with a PlayStation , give it a try and may the gaming gods be with you all.
With the first trailer for Cult of Chucky debuting, the seventh movie in the series, I thought it’d be fun to look at the the first installment of the series that veered away from the standard slasher archetype and became the the dark horror comedy it’s known for being today. Chucky’s shredded remains are found by his loving, yet murderous girlfriend Tiffany, played by Jennifer Tilly, who stitches him back together and chants the same spell over the doll’s body to bring him back to life. Alive again, Chucky smothers Tiffany’s goth boy-toy. Briefly the couple has a happy reunion before, in a fit of anger, Tiffany locks Chucky in a baby crib which pisses him off, especially locking him in with a bridal doll. He manages to break free, killing Tiffany by knocking her TV into her bath, but he isn’t done yet: he transfer her soul into the bridal doll. After Tiffany gives herself a makeover, the couple go on a murderous cross country trip to get to Chucky’s original body in New Jersey for the amulet that can transfer them to normal bodies again.
So because the Savior reviewed the iconic movie adaptation of Clive Barker’s disturbing romance novella, I figured I’d cover the lesser known novella, The Hellbound Heart. In a rare instance, Barker did the novella as well as direct the film adaptation which definitely shows. Both are very similar. Frank Cotton, a discouraged sexual deviant, sits in a candle lite room and toys with the ominous Lemanchard’s Configuration (or Lament Configuration), a beautiful, ornate puzzle box that once opened will call forth the seraphic Cenobites to bring him absolution and pleasure. Little does he know how subjective pleasure can be. Frank disappears and his house back in the states goes to his brother Rory, his beautiful but cold wife Julia, and his daughter (in the book their relationship is less specific and she never really refers to him as Daddy or father but rather implied) Kirsty. Rory is a kind, boring man. Julia is a prude who fantasizes about banging Frank, and the brief affair she had right before marrying Rory, and Kirsty is a normal teen girl who loves her dad and tolerates Julia. When moving, Rory scratches himself on a nail and that little bit of blood summons the horrible remains of Frank to find Julia and our plot begins. Julia needs to bring horny men to Frank so he can slaughter them and take there flesh to recover his flesh before the Cenobites find him. Desperate for zesty love Julia obliges. Kirsty, suspecting Julia of having an affair, follows her only to find the horrible truth and comes face to face with her skinned perverted uncle Frank. She manages to escape with her life, waking in a hospital with the box. She opens its and out emerge the Cenobites, not the angels we were lead to believe but gruesome, deformed creatures lead but a tall, colorless figure with a grid craved into his face and nails dug in that would be called Pinhead by fans for decades after. The Cenobites tell Kirsty they want to show her pleasure; she barters her life if she produce Frank. They agree, only sparing her if they can punish the bastard who fled them.
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