Category: Horror

Holidays

hero_Holidays-2016

Holidays isn’t so much a movie as a series of short stories combined to make up a movie, each story consisting of its own holiday such as Valentines day, Easter Halloween or even New Years Eve. Now they are honestly all of varying quality with Valentines day and Halloween being exceptionally good.

Valentines was fun, a swim team that is particularly fond of their coach looking for a new heart. Poor Maxine however is especially fond of him and also happens to be bullied and called Maxi-Pad. I obviously won’t ruin the ending but its a good one.

Halloween is another one that really stood out, and is written by Kevin Smith and actually stars his real life daughter. Three women working as cam workers finally have enough of their abusive live in boss. This one while not the most messed up of the bunch gets pretty brutal. This one definitely makes the list of movies worth checking out. Enjoy and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

No Tell Motel

ntm

The typical road trip gone wrong story. A group of friends in a beat up old motor home going god knows where end up at an old abandoned motel. A motel with a dark ad deadly history. The story is actually not all that good and is quite dull most of the time, not really picking up until the last 20 minutes or so.

The acting is passable tho admittedly I never even remotely cared about the characters. It is far from being the worst movie i have seen lately, I am actually pretty sure many of you will enjoy it. I simply will did not. There are a couple of nice twist and turns that were kind of nice and I should warn you there are some seriously twisted moments in here that are not for the easily upset. By all means check this one out, but maybe don’t let the entire night depend on it. Thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Revenge of the nerds

revenge of the nerds

My all time favorite comedy that every nerd needs to see at least once. Revenge of the nerds follows two best friends, Louis and Gilbert, that go start Adams College. It’s the school of there dreams, but every for every nerd there’s a jock. Enter the Alpha Betas, the big men on campus, the football players who drunkenly burn there own frat house down. Because they are your stereotypical assholes, they commander the freshmen house, casting them all out, including Louis and Gilbert. The refugees are forced to live in the gym until they get adopted by fraternities of there own; one by one people get taken but the lonely handful of nerds. So they have to band together and find a nice place of there own, but those damn Alpha Betas won’t let them be. For every dick act of the A-Bs, the nerds find a hilarious way to retaliate whether it’s stealing there cheerleaders panties, pouring liquid heat in there jock straps, or kicking there asses in the homecoming carnival. For how funny as hell the movie is, there is a good message I’d like to share with you: if you’re a nerd, be proud. I never forgot that. The nerds are all likable and Louis and Gilbert have great chemistry as best friends. The hi jinks are funny and raunchy but never really vulgar like many of today’s comedies so younger folks can get away with watching it. Overall, if  you need a good laugh I seriously recommend it to get in touch with your inner nerd.

The killing of a sacred deer teaser

sacred deer

So my lil sis told me about a cool trailer she saw a few days ago, so I had to check it out and I gotta say I was intrigued. Colin Farrel and Nicole Kidman star in a “Revenge saga” where Farrel plays a surgeon and Kidman has a family that seems to be in mourning over a wrongfully diseased family member…I think. The trailer was pretty damn vague. I did enjoy the eerie song the girl sings throughout the trailer, not being purposefully creepy like Elm Street but honestly pleasant which makes it more effective. I can’t tell you what I expect but I can tell you it got interested so it did it’s job. I’ll be keeping an eye out on the upcoming trailers for Sacred Deer, but it looks to have promise.

Dead Before dawn

dead before dawn

A high school kid gets stuck watching his grandfathers occult shop with a few simple rules, including don’t touch the vase with human skull attached to it. Of course when the woman of his dreams wants a closer look they gotta go messing with it. After it gets broken and they mock the spirit trapped within the vase, starting at 10 P.M. anyone they look in the eyes commits suicide and comes back as a half zombie half demon. And and yes this movie is as silly as it sounds but luckily it comes of pretty fun if you like comedy horror movies. It never truly takes itself serious but it rarely outright makes fun of itself and the acting it well done so the below average script is more than made up for. If you need a cheap laugh this may be for you, have a good night and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Black Room

The Black Room

This movie is a bit odd. I can’t call it good, but I also won’t say it is bad. The movie starts out with a sleeping woman at her grandmothers house and some strange noises in the basement. The grandmother seems to know what it is going on and isn’t happy. The next part for lack of a better term ( ok for those that are a bit squeamish or easily offended please stop reading..seriously) anyway for lack of a better term the young but adult woman is raped by a ghost. Afterwards the grandmother is killed attempting to protect her granddaughter who is later burned badly.

Flash forward to a new couple buying the house and all hell breaks loose, more people are killed, bunch of nudity and more awkwardness of women  alone in rooms having orgasms from a incubus demon. All in all the movie is entertaining in that what the hell am I watching way and is not well made in anyway. As always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Boo 2005

boo

I won’t say this movie is bad, but veteran horror fans will find little to enjoy. While it had some creepy moments and would probably be enough for casual fans this left much to be desired. A group of guys bring dates into an abandoned hospital in an attempt to scare female friends quickly end up in a fight for their lives against a dead patient trying to escape. Oh and did I mention a friend ha been there fixing the place up to make a creepy place even creepier?  The premise of the movie was solid despite the cliche nature, but sadly it falls flat very quickly. Thanks for your time and may the gaming god bring you glory.

Soma- what the hell is it? Week one

soma2

So my first week playing the game horror game Soma, and I’m pretty divided by it. I can’t completely tell you what the full plot is but I can tell you that the bastard above was a hour long pain in my ass. The story involves people consciousnesses into machines and it is eerie how the machines we encounter the blur the line between the perceptions of man and machine and reality. I’ve been chased by a “brute”, a ape like robot and I’ve noticed the great/shitty way the game handles its horror element. When nearby an enemy machine, Jarret’s brain starts freaking out, making the screen appear to glitch and blur, these affects intensifying the more closer you get. When caught, the screen full on glitches, flashing pixalated, creepy images during a loud scratching screech. The bastard above should not be directly looked at; his image blurs and grows brighter as he gets closer but your sight gets slowed and sways when your near and this bastard is always nearby. The environments  are disorienting to begin with but this crap was too much. Take four 151 shots in a row, spin around in a haunted fun house hall three times and try finding your way out, welcome to that hour of my life. But I carry on. Thanks for listening to my rant and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alien Vs Zombies

alien vs zombies

I don’t say this often, but I will start out simple. This movie is fucking stupid,and not in a fun way. The premise is cool, an alien shows up on vacation after years of loving the earth from a far. So dad sends him here on spring break. Upon arrival he discovers the world is in ruins, zombies are everywhere and all hell has broken out. To avoid spoilers I will say things are not as they appear. The pop culture references are mildly entertaining, for example the reference that Snooki is indeed an alien and the reference to another movie called Earth Girls Are Easy was fun. Aside from that this movie fails on pretty much every level from acting to visuals to the script itself. This movie is better off avoided, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Darling

darling

So I was floating around the Netflix horror section late one night and saw a short movie in black and white I never heard of. It begins with a warning about bright flashes and hallucinatory imagery. This movie is Darling. It’s the strange story of a young woman taking care of mansion that may or may not be haunted by the devil as she randomly comes across a guy that may have raped her, causing her to go totally bat shit and kill him. The movie is very ambiguous, leaving a lot of things left to interpretation which is pretty cool. It’s essentially the story of this girl’s intense unraveling of her sanity but there’s a possible demonic edge which is kinda cool. The movie is filmed beautifully and the score compliments it well. I can say this movie really ain’t for everyone, in fact I can say 9 of 10 people I know wouldn’t last it but I enjoyed it for the cinematography and sound and WTF plot. If you want to see something strange, watch this but if you aren’t into low budget art films, this ain’t for you.