Category: Horror

Haunted

haunted

A couple of years ago, I had no idea Fight Club was originally a book. After loving the book, I was kind of surprised learning writer, Chuck Palahniuk had written a really acclaimed horror story. Curiosity got the better of me and I had to check out Haunted. Haunted is a strange book to talk about, but I can say I haven’t read many like it if any. The core premise is simple: a group of weirdos is drawn to a three month long writer’s retreat by a rich old guy named Whittier and they are told to bring what matters most to them. They are brought to a secluded place, locked away with a limited supply of food and no kind of contact with the outside world. What ensues is a catalog of desperation becoming madness as they run out of food, become deprived of sleep, water and utter sanity as they create their own stories that gives us a window into the lives of our “victims”. These stories are, excuse my language, are fascinating as they are fucked up. There is a story of a dude who lost part of his small intestine in a pool filter, a professional foot fetishist, a woman who named her cat after her dead cat, and a dude who told some real nasty lies about a former child star to name a few. I warn you, do not read this book if you have weak constitutions or get freaked out easy, don’t read this book.

While I didn’t love every single short story or every free form poem, this maybe one of the best books I’ve ever read. By the end, I legitimately felt different then when I started and that maybe the best compliment I can give. The overall story is disturbing but relate-able as are many of the short stories. Palahniuk’s writing style is a lot easier to get into this time around then Fight Club; in fact I was pretty engulfed by how well everything flowed. Haunted is a great read I highly recommend if you want to read something really different but really deep. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Spider-man sequel title announced

spidey ffh tease

After Avengers: Infinity War I’ve had a lot of people ask how Spidey and Black Panther and others are getting movies still. Well, that’s the magic of comics. So a couple days ago, Tom Holland was shown with the new title of the the sequel to Spider-man: Homecoming , Spider-man: Far from Home. Obviously this can mean many a things. Will Spidey be stranded on Titan, having to find his way back to Earth? I doubt it, mainly because I’ve heard a lot of buzz of Mysterio being the next major villain we’ll being seeing as well as a lot of buzz about the story being centered around a field trip to London, if I’m not mistaken. Either way, it’s extremely early but it has been confirmed Spider-man: Far from Home will be the first movie in Phase 4 of the MCU. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Predator, trailer 2

 

I came back on one hell of a good day; we got a really epic new trailer for the fourth Predator movie. I liked what I saw for the first The Predator, trailer 1 but I love the second trailer much more. The tone reminds me a lot of the first movie, including the crude joke on the bus. The Predators themselves look incredible. So far, I totally dig the story idea but as I stated in the last trailer review, I’m not a fan of the title of the movie but that’s just a weird hiccup from me. I’m excited as hell to see some badass action and some epic level gore this September, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Leprechaun in the Hood

leprachaun 5

I love the Leprechaun movies, even 4 where he went to space. They’re fun trashy kind of horror you clearly aren’t meant to take serious. Leprechaun in the Hood is precisely what you think it’s going to be but holy crap does it go beyond that. It begins with the story of a pimp played Ice-T who comes across the stone statue of the Leprechaun in a old subway tunnel  and after besting him and taking his magic flute, turns the Leprechaun into stone and becomes a rap mogul. decades later we find a struggling motivational rap group who are trying to win a contest and when miffed by Ice-T’s MacDaddy, they bust his house up, take the flute, and inadvertently get hunted by the pissed off pimp and Leprechaun.

As I said, the premise is exactly what you’d expect but it goes deeper than that. While the characters talk like its a live action Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas , there’s horny cross dressers, the Leprechaun gets a fondness for weed, there’s scandalously clad demonic rap video girls, people getting there innards randomly blown out and the movie is utter batshit insanity and I love it to death. After watching the rage inducing The Devil Inside , this was a huge breath of fresh air. If you like hilariously bad movies, I encourage you to watch this all the way through the end credits but if you want anything remotely quality or serious, turn away. My the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Unfriended: the Dark Web trailer 1

Why is this a thing? I know we live in a digital age and there are plenty of opportunities for horror in that age but I give up when you have movies based off social media or Skype. I will say the second movie has a interesting premise and I’m glad it’s not a ghost story, but I can’t the trailer really wowed me. I’d watch it on Netflix or something like that but wouldn’t pay full for it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Devil Inside

devil inside The tagline directly above is true, I’m sure the Vatican doesn’t want you to see this movie but I have to say after seeing it, it’s Ok to follow there advice.

Maria Rossi murdered three people during a failed exorcism in 1989. In 2012, her daughter, Isabella journeys to the Vatican to try getting answers after not seeing her mother for all those years. The first act dives into the teaching of priests as exorcists and how the Vatican declares demonic possession from mental illness. Isabella reaches out to two students who privately practice exorcisms, and some interesting ethical questions are raised concerning the Vatican’s involvement with exorcism or lack thereof. To understand, she accompanies them on a trip, deciding she wants to try on her mom to disastrous results that prove fatal..

The Devil Inside is a good example why I don’t like the sub genre of found footage. There are good questions brought up in the movie and it looks alright enough but its a pretty forgettable horror movie. The interesting questions disappear and we get the same possession cliches redone. I never actually believed or felt immersed in the found footage experience like I was in The Last Exorcism or the first Paranormal Activity  It was a lot of little things how the lead actress always looked perfectly made up the whole movie or how people seemed really lenient waving a camera through the streets of the Vatican, a high security mental institution, a basement where a girl that is clearly dangerous is being held. The ending is an absolute insult I’m going to spoil- it’s a advert for a website that isn’t even still running. That’s it. If you were enjoying yourself, that final minute will turn your pissed meter to 11. In the end, it’s fine to skip the Devil Inside and the gaming gods will bring you all the more glory for doing so.

Oculus (2013)

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Gonna break up the gaming stuff with a horror movie that I watched a bit ago and never got around to reviewing. This one was actually pretty cool. This mirror throughout the years has killed many people and been lost for various reasons. Each time reappearing killing plants in the home, the dog and the people.

In the modern age a man tortures his wife and to protect his sister, his son murders him and is locked away until he is 21. But is this what really happened? Well after being released his sister brings him to the family home with a huge set up of cameras, food, alarms to remind them to eat and a weight set up rigged with no electronics so if they don’t reset it every half hour it would swing down and smash, you guessed it, the mirror.

The plan is to stay in the house and record the entire thing, and when this mirror attempts to kill them this will prove the brother is no murderer and the father was not the man everyone thought he was. The weight was to protect them, with the mirror needing them alive to reset the alarm the thought was it would be unable to kill them.

From here on out we see the brother and sister slowly start fighting as the brother insist the sister is remembering events wrong as they attempt to talk about what happened. She attempts to remind his of the truth. It doesn’t take long for the plants to die. As things get more weird things get more weird. What they think they see isn’t always what is real, and what they know to be fake sometimes is very very real.

The movie is well done, and at times in the movie as the viewer I actually wasn’t quite sure what was and wasn’t real, but I was never actually confused as to the plot of the movie. It was easy to follow but disturbing enough to be interesting with a very nice ending. I would very much suggest watching it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Incidents in a Ghostland trailer

 

I like looking up random, lower budget horror trailers now and then just to see a spark of flavor or originality we don’t get much of in today’s mainstream horror. The thumbnail for this caught my attention because as well as the host of strange WTF things I’ve been known to write about, old time porcelain dolls creep me out. At first I took this as a type A kind of haunted house story but I like the twists it seemed to be taking. By the end I genuinely wanted to check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Nun teaser

 

So we horror fans got the first trailer for The Nun, the next chapter in the Conjuring universe. I loved The Conjuring (2013) but had mixed feelings when it came to The Conjuring 2 so I was a bit miffed when I heard the Nun was getting there own spin off. After the trailer, I’m actually pumped for it. It’s filmed beautifully with a great atmosphere and a nice scare at the end. Getting to see this after the Halloween 2018 first trailer I hope we get to see the signs of a new resurgence in horror in the near future. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Rocko’s Modern Life

rocko's modern life I have a lot of time to reminisce at my day job, and I started remembering cartoons I’m shocked parents let us watch like Invader Zim and Ren and Stimpy. One of my all time favorites is Rocko’s Modern Life. It’s a story of a wallaby named Rocko just trying to live a normal, 90’s world full of the mad people who inhabit it. With him is trusty dog Spunky, best friends the gluttonous Heffer and sickly Fhilbert as well as other weird ass characters like his neighbors the BigHeads. So the question is yet to be asked, how does this show qualify as  not that kid friendly? When you get older you begin to see a truck load of sexual innuendos, adult movie references, and some WTF moments laced throughout. For example, the superhero Really Really Big Man and his amazing nipples that make you see the future; the restaurant named Chokey Chicken; Mrs. Bighead getting pretty perverse about her sexual frustration and wanting to bang Rocko to spite her husband. Not to say the show is as harsh as Ren and Stimpy for kids, it’s just fine for them, but adults may end getting a bigger kick out of it, especially if you are a 90’s child like myself. In the end, if you find the complete series, which isn’t very expensive, it certainly is a interesting specimen to add to any TV collection. May the gaming gods bring you glory.