Incidents in a Ghostland trailer

 

I like looking up random, lower budget horror trailers now and then just to see a spark of flavor or originality we don’t get much of in today’s mainstream horror. The thumbnail for this caught my attention because as well as the host of strange WTF things I’ve been known to write about, old time porcelain dolls creep me out. At first I took this as a type A kind of haunted house story but I like the twists it seemed to be taking. By the end I genuinely wanted to check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Nun teaser

 

So we horror fans got the first trailer for The Nun, the next chapter in the Conjuring universe. I loved The Conjuring (2013) but had mixed feelings when it came to The Conjuring 2 so I was a bit miffed when I heard the Nun was getting there own spin off. After the trailer, I’m actually pumped for it. It’s filmed beautifully with a great atmosphere and a nice scare at the end. Getting to see this after the Halloween 2018 first trailer I hope we get to see the signs of a new resurgence in horror in the near future. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Rocko’s Modern Life

rocko's modern life I have a lot of time to reminisce at my day job, and I started remembering cartoons I’m shocked parents let us watch like Invader Zim and Ren and Stimpy. One of my all time favorites is Rocko’s Modern Life. It’s a story of a wallaby named Rocko just trying to live a normal, 90’s world full of the mad people who inhabit it. With him is trusty dog Spunky, best friends the gluttonous Heffer and sickly Fhilbert as well as other weird ass characters like his neighbors the BigHeads. So the question is yet to be asked, how does this show qualify as  not that kid friendly? When you get older you begin to see a truck load of sexual innuendos, adult movie references, and some WTF moments laced throughout. For example, the superhero Really Really Big Man and his amazing nipples that make you see the future; the restaurant named Chokey Chicken; Mrs. Bighead getting pretty perverse about her sexual frustration and wanting to bang Rocko to spite her husband. Not to say the show is as harsh as Ren and Stimpy for kids, it’s just fine for them, but adults may end getting a bigger kick out of it, especially if you are a 90’s child like myself. In the end, if you find the complete series, which isn’t very expensive, it certainly is a interesting specimen to add to any TV collection. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Deadpool 2

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Deadpool , the little antihero who could, has become a huge phenomenon in the two years since the movie. I see countless men, women, and children in Deadpool garb everyday at my day job. The very second the trailer dropped for Deadpool 2, in a rare event I haven’t witnessed since the teasers for Avengers: Age of Ultron and The Force Awakens debuted, I had friends, coworkers, and even random strangers ask me if I saw it and my thoughts (I give a shout out to the creative marketing behind this movie, keeping us engaged with hilarious parody trailers so the actual material wouldn’t get old.) So, does Wade have what it takes to earn the hype?

Picking up months after the first ended, Wade is finally happy being an unkillable mercenary with girlfriend Vanessa, about to start a family when, like every superhero story ever told, tragedy strikes. Wade, left broken hearted is suicidal but that’s for naught because of that pesky healing factor, so he joins the X men as a trainee with old buddies Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. There’s a troubled youth going a rampage named Russel at the Mutant Rehabilitation orphanage, but all it’s what it seems; he’s been abused and in a fit of rage Wade kills one of the assholes responsible and lands him and Russel in a detention center for mutants. It isn’t long until a threat from the future comes, claiming Russel would slay his family one day and it’s duty to assassinate the boy  here and now to save them in the future. Enter Cable. It’s up to Wade to save the boy from Cable with his own group of misfits, but can he change the future?

I have to honest, for a while I’ve been burnt on Deadpool since the first movie and the mammoth popularity in pop culture. That being said, I loved Deadpool 2, but it’s not without some flaws. If you love raunchy, meta comedy, you will adore this movie, especially if you are a superhero nerd like myself. The action is bigger and there’s a host of characters, old and new to fall in love with. This is Josh Brolin’s year, he excels at being Cable just as he did playing Thanos in Avengers: Infinity War and Domino was a welcome addition, as well as the well done villain cameo at the end I won’t spoil. A small flaw I had was the movie flows really good until the third act where I felt it dragged a bit. Another issue I had was I felt the emotional parts of the movie stopped having weight to them because of the never ending speed and intensity of the jokes  and I feel the first movie balanced these aspects out a lot better. In the end, I liked it as much as the first film but it easily could have transgressed the first if they work on the serious/ comedy balance a bit better, flushed the characters out a bit more, and paced the jokes a bit better. It’s still awesome as hell and I highly recommend it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Playing it Cool (2014)

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Playing it cool caught my eye cuz honestly I was bored and needed something to watch and it was there. Chris Evans is Captain America, Michelle Monaghan is cute, I tossed the movie on.

The movie is about A man who has never been in love and is tasked with writing a romantic comedy. While doing research to write it he actually falls for a woman, but because every movie needs some drama she of course is with someone. Honestly the movie is cliché as hell, almost to the point of being unbearable. From the grandfather that was in the Navy and met his grandmother right before shipping out all the way to tossing a rock at her window, and since it’s a comedy he even breaks the wrong window.

The movie is pretty funny at times, and the movie is entertaining enough, but the movie is just so cliché and awkward at times. The acting is top-notch, the story itself is just uninspired. However if you can simply accept that and watch the movie for what it is, it is pretty fun. The chemistry between Chris and Michelle is great and his friends are amazing. I would definitely watch it, but not if you are looking for something more than a distraction, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Last House on the Left

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There are  a very few movies that have dropped jaws as well as terrify the masses made by young folks with a passion, as well as a remake that shits all over it. The late horror legend, Wes Craven, as well Sean Cunningham who would give us Friday the 13th gave us a new kind of horror that nearly 50 years, still inspiring writers and filmmakers to this day.

It’s Mari Collingwood’s 17th birthday and all she wants is grab some weed and go to a rock concert with her BFF Phyllis. Her folks, Estelle and John, let her go because kids will be kids, despite the radio reports of a trio of criminals on the loose. Mari and Phyllis find a pot connection in Willow, who leads them to the sinister trio led by his father, Krug, who proceed to kidnap the girls and take them into the woods. They are raped, Phyllis is disemboweled, and Mari is fatally shot, left to die in the water- leading to the twist, the woods are behind the Collingwood’s home. The trio disguises themselves as a family with car trouble, showing up at there doorstep. As the rain descends, Estelle’s intuition tells her something is wrong and tragically, unaware to the criminals, the parents discover the body of their daughter, and suddenly they plan there revenge…

Let’s talk about the original, it’s  one hell of a debut film. The subject matter is indeed disturbing and some of the scenes are hard to watch but it helps illustrate its point. The actors, as well as the way its filmed, do not feel produced or glossy, giving the movie a sense of seldom realism we rarely get in horror anymore. I love the villains, horrible people who go from being dimwitted goofballs to savage fiends which is captured remarkably well. The music is unique to the core and unforgettable. The only real flaw are the cartoonish cops throughout that trip the tone hard at times but I admit, helps gives the movie personality.

Personality is something the 2009 remake lacks. First, why the hell this movie exists, I don’t know. Granted, on it’s own, it isn’t a terrible movie. The cinematography is quite nice at times and the score is fitting. Essentially the plot is the same but with one damning difference, Mari doesn’t die and Willow turns good instead of crack and kill himself which gives it a huge Hollywood feel, if the cinematography and big orchestra score weren’t dead giveaways. On top of that, the actors do look like actors and the criminals look like bad guys from the get go. The fact it does look and feel so much like a big budget movie cripples it and makes it feel like a run of the mill home invasion thriller by the third act.

Last House on the Left was a heavy horror movie with some meaning behind it, made by some 20 somethings who wanted to do something different. The remake ain’t horrid if you never saw the original, but I urge you to if you haven’t. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Halloween 2018 first trailer

 

He’s back! I know this isn’t my usual time to post, but considering the occasion I think it can be forgiven. As a babe in diapers, two icons have haunted my nightmares for 27 years, making me want to spread the fear someday with my own stories of horror. Michael Myers, the shape, is tied for my favorite horror character next to the Alien. After the soul crushing defeat after watching Rob Zombie’s remakes and after a string of aimless sequels leading to a busted continuity, we get a movie that rewrites history, erasing all but the very original. Normal, these kind of deals don’t sit right with me but I love the look and vibe I got from the trailer. For the first time in a long time, I felt a buzz of terror seeing Michael lurking the streets of Haddonfield once again to the classic Carpenter score. Laurie, reprised by Jamie Lee Curtis , seems badass if not traumatized which isn’t far from H20 but seems more maddened which is a cool twist. Michael looks haggard but appropriately so, unlike Zombie’s. I am excited as hell, like fanboy nerdgasm right now and I’m pumped. I’m dedicating this quick to my friend and fellow Halloween fanboy Dave at work, enjoy bro and thank you for the support. May the gaming gods bring you glory and remember, evil never dies.

Suspiria 2018 trailer 1

 

Suspiria was one of the most artistic, beautiful, and creative horror movies I’ve ever seen and at first when I heard it was getting a remake, I rolled my eyes. Though I did a list of 5 horror remakes I loved , I generally don’t, hence the post I did after, 5 remakes that went and pissed me off . I’m glad to see Suspiria doesn’t look like a copy/ paste remake like the Omen, but at the same time I didn’t believe it was Suspiria until the title popped up. The trailer is well done though, intriguing and unsettling and I can’t wait to see it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Tom Segura: Disgraceful (2018)

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Tom Segura is a guy I never really watched before, not for any particular reason besides I had never known who he was. I admittedly wish I did. The guy is actually pretty funny, covering topics such as racism, pop culture and weirdly it actually isn’t the sort of shock humor you would expect. For example he makes the joke about people getting hurt is funny but a person with a disability isn’t, except sometimes it is. He uses the example that if someone gets hit in the head and suddenly speaks his normal language but not with a funny accent, it is funny. This is true, it is a rare but real thing and it is hilarious.

There is some swearing involved but there isn’t anything all that offensive in there. I wouldn’t exactly call this a family program, don’t toss this on for the kids. However if you want some sort of adult oriented comedy show without off the wall and insanely offensive comedy, this is worth watching. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Resident Evil 5

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After the huge impact Resident Evil 4 had on me, as well as 2 and 3, I was pumped for 5 and was a huge selling point for me getting a PS3. Was it worth the hype?

Years after Resident Evil (remake) , Chris Redfield ( now a hell of a lot more buff and rugged looking.) is a agent of the BSAA, an organization tasked with eliminating bio-terrorism across the globe. On the ass hunting down a scumbag named Irving, Chris ventures to Africa, partnering with Sheva as they discover a hideous affliction of a contagion called the Uroboros as well as the Las Plagus. After Irving, the pair discover secrets leading them back to the ghostly remnants of Umbrella, discovering where the progenitor virus came from as well as the long awaited reunion with Chris’s old teammate and nemesis Albert Wesker as well as another ghost from Chris and Wesker’s past. Can the duo defeat the OP Wesker and stop the Uroboros?

While not terrible, this game has much to be desired. Graphically it’s beautiful, accompanied by a great score, perhaps my favorite of the series in fact. Gameplay is solid but the scare inventory slots can be annoying. A big this I have to say is the creatures in this game are the least frightening in the whole series. In fact, I have to say the Majini later on made me laugh rather than fill me with fear. You can definitely tell this game was a third person shooter at heart, which did function and play well enough as one, unlike Resident Evil 6 but damn it doesn’t feel right. Another huge issue I had was that the A.I for Sheva was dumber than a bag of rocks.   Plenty of times her idiotic death resulted in a pain in the ass redo or if I gave her a gun, she would waste the bullets, bullets I sorely needed. I do like that every loading screen is a summary from a Resident Evil timeline you can access in the bonus menu to learn more about the lore or get a better perspective on the lore. The best way to enjoy the game is with a buddy, which by the way, as Savoir and I proved, the game has drop in/ drop out couch co-op as well as online co-op; the game becomes 100 times better with a friend. If you and a buddy want a good game to play, it’s definitely worth the $20 it goes for. On it’s own its a solid game with some issues that can be overlooked. May the gaming gods bring you glory.