Category: Horror

Resident Evil: Revelations

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In 2013, we got 3 Resident Evil games and who would’ve guessed the best of the 3 would’ve been a Nintendo 3DS game. Resident Evil 6 and Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City did a strong disservice to the series, so it’s actually pretty easy to top the list of best Resident Evil of that year, but how good is it on it’s own?

So Revelations primarily follows Jill Valentine and her new partner Parker as they find themselves trapped on the Queen Zenobia, a luxury cruise liner where there has been a terrorist sighting and a B.O.W outbreak. Veltro, a terrorist group, years before had been committed on a sea city, leading to it’s destruction. Now they are equipped with the T-Abyss virus, creating horrible sea creature monstrosities. And if that isn’t bad enough, they have to survive the ship destroying itself, government machinations, and massive beasts; can she hold off til Chris Redfield and his new partner come to find them…

I’m basically on the fence with this game. Small disclosure, I didn’t play the 3DS version but the PS4 port so I can’t say if it’s better there, but some of the controls I can tell. The game does a fair job at being best of both worlds. It does have a claustrophobic setting and the beginning is creepy and the game has a solid modern combat system like 4, but better than 5. There are no zombies but in flashbacks there is a crap load of Hunters. The ScagDead boss is creepy as hell but irritating when they become regular enemies but the monsters mostly are Resident Evil staples. The Genesis scanner is a cool new feature that really comes in handy but there is a really shitty evade mechanic that got under my skin. When it comes to the plot, I was into it when it stayed on Jill but I checked out halfway through because I felt like I was watching 24 with a Resident Evil skin. In the end, it’s exactly in the middle for me. It’s nowhere near classic but it’s nowhere near terrible but at times it is frustrating. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Paranormal Activity 4

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I’ve been to probably 1,000 movies over my lifetime and Paranormal Activity 4 is one of the few times I wanted my money back.

Acting as the real sequel to the original, it picks up with the story of a family who gets  new neighbors: Katie and Hunter, and of course strange shit goes on and it’s all recorded on film…that’s almost literally the entire movie.

By the 4th movie, in less than 5 years after the original movie, it’s charm has worn off. The movie is insultingly short, leading eventually to why I wanted my money back. I’ve watched DBZ films longer than this damn thing and to pay 10 bucks to be in and out. The most memorable part was the ending, but this time came as no real surprise and the poor pacing ruined what effect it could have had. If you buy the collection it’s meh at best but I wouldn’t go past $5 for it. After 4 I quit the series, admiring the trilogy but recommending you stop there. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Paranormal Activity 3

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Around this time I was a fan of this movie and had a job; my old writing partner and I had a WTF late night adventure trying to see this at midnight to no actual avail, but I digress. The teaser was chilling, and I’ll include it below. Many of the trailers were freaky as hell. Most of the cool shit never made it to this short ass movie.

Paranormal Activity 3 is a huge prequel, going back to when Katie and Kristy were little girls and we get to explore the very origin of the disturbances, the fire, the reason neither of them remembered anything as adult women. It begins when little Kristy finds a imaginary friend that no one thinks twice about; kids will be kids. But things begin to happen and before the family knows it they are on the run leading to perhaps my favorite WTF climaxes I’ve seen on film in a long time.

3 is the last of these movies I would call totally good. There are some crazy effects but I can say it’s a bit toned down from the previous movie. The acting again is solid but I have to say the kids nailed it; watching Kristy talking to nothing freaked me out a bit. By the third movie we find ourselves getting used to the formula, especially how frequently they were coming out, and with the exception of the WTF ending that kicks your ass, there isn’t much new ground covered. Something that bothers the shit out of me is a combination of the the pacing and how short the movie is. When you hit that WTF ending, the movie feels on the cusp of entering Act 3, not the tip toes of it which is jarring as hell. It adds to the scare but after the surprise wears off, you feel oddly let down. In the end, it’s a good found footage film that completes a solid trilogy. I’d end it here, save face, and call it a day. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Special Correspondents (2016)

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This movie is going to be a like it or hate it situation, I doubt anyone loves it sadly. Ricky Gervais (Albert) and Eric Bana(Frank) play a news tech and a news reporter respectively in New York. Eric is a local celeb that is boss sort of hates and Ricky is a man doing his best that his wife, well his wife is a bitch he just doesn’t know it. Yet.

One day they are chosen to go do a report in Ecuador, the issue? Albert and his wife have a small falling out and in his despair he accidentally tosses the passports,and the tickets and the money. So basically he messes up a lot. This however will be the least of their problems as Frank decides to fake the entire trip.

This starts out pretty well, small phone call, some general info and computer and sound tricks from Albert. Then they invent a leader that other news agencies run with. This sounds like it can not get worse doesn’t it? Until they fake being captured. Yup, this movie takes all kinds of weird turns from bad to even worse. It actually gets even worse from there, but I won’t go any further. I actually really enjoyed the movie and do not understand the hate from many people. The script was nice and it was just different enough to be interesting. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Paranormal Activity 2

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The craze for Paranormal Activity was on after the buzz and bucks the first movie got and oh how found footage found life in horror cinema again, The Last Exorcism being a prime example of the time. Well, of course there was a sequel and it was made and out in blinding speed…

Paranormal Activity 2 can strangely be called a prequel in that it takes place just before the events of the first one kick off. We follow Kristy, younger sister of Katie of the first movie, and her family as they are terrorized by an unseen force after her son Hunter is born. We begin to discover clues about the sisters past and we learn a dark family secret, leading to a pretty dick move that ultimately bites the family in the ass at the end…

Somehow I found myself thinking the second installment of this series is both better and worse than the first. Better because it is more eventful with some crazier shit going down in the second and third acts and the back story does become quite intriguing. The acting is still solid and performed by people I can see as regular normal people, in fact I cared about there well being throughout. Worse because while the effects are better and more entertaining to watch, the third act breaks the straw on the play at realism.  Granted it’s not unforgivable or damage the film at all really, but you know it’s a damn movie now. Another thing I have to say is I found the pacing in the first act slower than the first movie’s and pretty boring. In the end it’s a solid sequel and worth a watch late night. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Paranormal Activity

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In 2009, my last year in high school, my class was taken by storm by a little horror movie called Paranormal Activity. It’s a simple found footage film about a well off couple, Katie and Micah, who have weird shit going on in there house and get a camera to record it overnight. As days go on, the activity becomes more malevolent and it takes a toll on Katie and a mystery unfolds about Katie’s upbringing that can prove dangerous.

This is kind of a tricky movie to talk about. When I first saw it in 2010, it actually scared the shit out of me at the end and I will give it this, while it is a slow burn, it does do well to build suspense and does have a good pay off at the end. You get a fair sense of the characters and how they change throughout. The lack of music and opening credits and the fact the actors are convincing enough to be normal people. It does drag, the pacing is slow and there is a huge unintentionally hilarious part in the middle, and I mean laugh your ass off funny when the ghost expert guy returns. In the years, following it and the bullshit sequels and corny effects, it has lost some luster but it is a Ok horror film that is worth checking out but turn off the lights and watch it in the dark. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Spawn: Armageddon

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If you didn’t get enough Spawn after my combo blog on Spawn/ Spawn: origins , we’re going to talk about my favorite piece of Spawn media and was my first intro to the character. Pretty much the war between Heaven and Hell is going to fall on Earth and Spawn is in the middle with his huge array of guns, powers, signature chains, and his trusty Ax of Agony.

Right of the bat, let me be frank: this game is not special in any way shape or form but it is fun as hell. You start off pretty damn powerful and there’s a huge collection of powers and weaponry to combo and slaughter the hordes of Heaven and Hell and it goes farther than that but the enemies quickly become a threat. If you enjoy Devil May Cry, essentially the game play feels the same. The bosses are huge and epic and challenging towards the end. The story isn’t much but it’s a damn fun hack n slash game I’d recommend if you want a high energy blood and gore game. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Deadpool: the game

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Well, because my luck sucks, we weren’t able to see Deadpool 2 but if you’re like us and your local movie theater randomly shuts down and you lose the Savior- mobile, and you need a decent Deadpool fix, let’s talk about the bittersweet experience that is the video game.

We join Wade in an adventure to kill generally evil bad guy Mr. Sinister, coming across some beloved X Men characters like Wolverine, Rogue, and Psylocke (as well as a funny ass cameo from Gambit during a dream sequence.), a few X Force favorites like Cable and Domino and of course fighting a list D level villains like Archlight and Vertigo. Get ready for hilarity, action, and utter insanity as we slay our way to Sinister.

Ok, let’s cover the sweet of this bittersweet equation. This is one of the funniest games I’ve ever played and this Nolan North is phenomenal doing the voice of Deadpool. If you love the character and X men lore, because you will get a hell of a lot of cameos and fan service like the Island of Genosha and going on a killing spree inside of a Sentinel boot. There is a shit load of great fan service in the game. Ready for the bitter part? The game is laughably short, but not a good laughable. You can easily finish this game on hardest difficulty in about 4-6 hours easy. It’s really linear. The gameplay is fair, not great but not horrible. I can’t say there is a huge amount of replay value in it, I bailed out of my second play through. I think the game is worth playing but $20 maybe pushing it if you aren’t a Deadpool or avid X men fan. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Terrordrome 2: Reign of the Legends trailer

 

While I personally don’t game on computer, as a horror fan I was happy as hell someone finally made a fighting game for us. The next game looks a bit more mainstream but I love the mix of legendary characters in there line-up like Sasquatch and Dracula while having characters reminiscent of Pennywise and Slender-man. I love the passion put into these games and I wish them the best and I can’t wait to see how this promising fighter turns out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Halloween: Resurrection

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I briefly mentioned this less than popular sequel in my list of 5 fun horror sequels after talking about the “Thorn” trilogy which at least has cult status. I maybe one of the only son of a bitches on this planet that loves this movie for none of the right reasons.

After H20, which had a perfect end to the whole damn saga much like Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers , we find Laurie Strode catatonic in a asylum after accidentally killing the wrong Michael. But years later, he would find her and he finally succeeds after one of the stupidest scenes I’ve seen in a horror movie. So what does the legendary Michael Myers do when he has no more family to kill? Hangs out at his house and kills a bunch of people filming a bullshit reality show there. That is basically the movie in a nutshell…

Ok, Halloween is one of the best horror movies of all time and Michael Myers is an icon of horror. If you go into this movie as a purist, this movie is going to really, really piss you off. Busta Rhymes is my favorite WTF actor I’ve ever seen in a movie, and why the hell Tyra Banks was in this is beyond me but damn was this movie absolutely hilarious from Rhyme’s kung fu noises and one liners, the cast of reality show wannabes, and some crappy stock horror molded into the traditional score. As a Halloween movie and horror movie, it’s god awful but as a comedy its great. May the gaming gods bring you glory, and as Busta Rhymes once said, ” Trick or Treat motherfucka”