Category: Horror

Bad Boys (1995)

images

Oh bad boys, this movie on paper shouldn’t work. But you toss in Will Smith and Martin Lawrence and you are pretty much promised a good time. Will and Martin play cops from Miami that now must get back drugs stolen from the precinct before word gets out they are gone while protecting a lone witness to a murder.

The movie is quite honestly a pretty typical cop movie. Two partners with pretty much opposite personalities solve some sort of crime and hilarity ensues. You honestly won’t see much new here, it’s simply how well it is done that matters here. The action scenes are fun and Will and Martin have amazing chemistry together, the kind that just makes you believe these two are real life best friends. It’s another one of those 90’s movies that people look back at with nostalgia for a reason, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Lost Boys (1987)

the lost boys

The lost boys is one of those movies that came out in the 80’s and is a vampire movie done a bit differently with a twist ending, but both done right. With a family from Arizona moving to California an older brother meets some friends and falls in with a bad crowd. The younger brother meets some comic book nerds obsessed with vampires they claim live in the area and the comics they claim are evidence of this. Turns out that group are those vampires and those nerds are not wrong.

What follows is the classic tale of a quest to escape the clutches of these vampires, their leader that wants to marry their mother, enslave them both and take over the town.

The movie is amazing and has its funny parts but is full of suspense and action with a great sound track, but I will always remember the end when all is said and done. Dead vampires everywhere, a huge hole in the side of the house, and the grandfather that everyone thought was just some old guy saying ” the area would be great if it wasn’t for all the damn vampires” Definitely check this one out if you haven’t already. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn

children of the corn

I will never step foot in a corn field, or anywhere predominately full of kids without thinking I’m going to get mauled and put on a damn corn cross. At the same time, Children of the Corn is my favorite cult movie. I briefly talked about the short story when I talked about the book Night Shift by of course Stephen King, but let’s go a bit more in depth…

General premise: under a demon influenced child preacher, the children of Gatlin Nebraska murder all the adults and take to human sacrifices for “He who walks behind the rows” lurking in the corn, and a couple stumbles upon this after running over a kid they found with his throat cut. This is pretty much where the similarities end.

In the story, Burt and Vicky are a couple who hate each other driving through the deep nowhere of corn because Burt has a interview. They hit the kid and uncover some weird shit in his possession. They park in town and split up. Vicky gets taken by the kids, which is the last time we see her alive; the last time she’s on the cross with her eyes ripped out and corn husks jammed in her sockets. Burt discovers that the kids murdered there parents and murder anyone past 18; and that they’ve been procreating extremely young. A kid named Amos is seemingly the one who started all this and Issac and Malachi are on the chopping block. Burt finds what’s left of Vicky, but He who walks behind the Rows finds him first…no happy ending, not even close.

In the movie, Burt and Vicky are married and mostly happy but there’s a rift because Burt has issues with kids. They talk to a old mechanic that lives on the outskirts of Gatlin that directs them away, but the corn is never ending and traps them there, then they hit the kid. Issac is the preacher that brought this madness, aided by his violent lieutenant Malachi. Again Vicky gets taken while Burt finds some messed up shit. But unrest in the group keeps her alive; Malachi turns on Issac and hosts him up for sacrifice with Vicky. Burt gets rescued by nonbelievers Jobb and Sarah, and together they ban together to get Vicky back and stop the children.

There’s a remake which blends both but I couldn’t bring myself to finish it; does this premise at all seem fit for a made-for -TV movie?

I love both story and movie but for different reasons. The story is bleak and very ambiguous; piecing what those kids were doing was half the morbid allure of it. We really didn’t see faces, no speeches, just remains they left behind. While the movie has creepy parts, I love the look and the child actors, especially Issac and Malachi and how over the top they could be and some of the shitty effects are just fun. Either way, I’d check either out, and may the gaming gods bring you glory  Outlander!

The Shining

the shining bk

Heeeere’s Torsten with another long overdue book/movie review. Savior once covered the movie, link here to see his thoughts: The Shining

Either way you go, the Shining is the story of the Torrance family spending a winter care-taking for the Overlook Hotel. Father, Jack, is a disgraced English Professor and struggling novelist and ex alcoholic. Mom, Wendy, silently resents Jack because he’s a F-up and last time he got drunk accidentally broke there psychic son, Danny’s, arm. While Danny sees things inside the hotel, Jack discovers the dark secrets of the Overlook’s past, things go shit up when they are trapped inside the Hotel and madness ensues, turning Jack against his family…

While the premise is the same, the executions are really damn different. Remember those creepy ass images from the movie: creepy twins, elevator full of blood, and whatever the hell was going on between the bear suit guy and that guy in the tux? Well there’s none of that in the book. In the book we got hedge animals that come alive and a hornets nest… Ok, so sorry no really creepy visuals in the book. What sells the book is the atmosphere and the build up to Jack losing it. The characters in the book are very deep but I can’t say I ever really found the book scary but a family drama with a dark ending. I like the movie better for a few reasons. Whereas I found the Overlook’s history ok in the book, I love the imagery Kubrick created from the same backstory (though the bloody elevator was all him.) I felt the family in the book was actually a loving family that would have been Ok if this didn’t happen, but the family in the movie seemed off, like a family pretending they weren’t about to explode. In the book, it’s plain that it’s a freaking ghost story but it was more intriguing that we didn’t know for sure what the hell was going on. Last was how the movie had a darker ending which I felt more fulfilling.

In the end I thought the book was Ok but the movie is legendary. Stephen King again proved he’s a master storyteller. May the gaming gods bring you glory and happy Easter from us to you.

Favorite Locales in gaming…

Let’s talk real estate, location, location, location. In gaming we get some gorgeous worlds that make us wish we could live there or pray we’d never set foot in but either way are memorable. Here’s a list of mine in no particular order starting with one that actually exists..

ac2 italy 1. Renaissance Italy ( Assassin’s Creed 2)

I’m a huge fan of the Renaissance era and being able to experience it and venture through Italy’s gorgeous architecture was truly a pleasure.

skyrim  2. Skyrim ( Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim)

Who the hell wouldn’t want to go to the lush, fascinating kingdom of Skyrim full of interesting people, magic, killer beasts and epic dragons? Plus talking cat people…

arkham city 2 3. Arkham City (Batman: Arkham City )

I’d go here just because of the villains that lurk here like Two-Face, Penguin, Mr. Freeze, Killer Croc, and that lovable goof Mr. J and his sweetheart Harley. A community is only as good as it’s people after all..

yharnam bloodborne  4. Yharnam (BloodBorne review)

I loved this creepy, Victorian, Gothic town the second I walked in with my trusty ax. Between the Lovecraft style monsters and classic horror feel, I’d put a top hat on and hang out there a night.

dishonored dunwall 5. Dunwall (Dishonored series)

Another town, though with a steampunk flavor of whale blubber, robot walkers, and plague but hey, the fashion is quite dashing. Especially that creepy bastard in the skull mask…

sevastopol isolation  6. Sevastopol Station (Alien: Isolation)

The last two are a morbid curiosity deals more than anything, but as a sci-fi, horror nerd I gotta do it. Granted I ain’t going here with a alien on board, hell no..

ishimura deadspace 7. U.S.S Ishimura (DeadSpace )

Many modern horror fans shiver at the name, knowing the horrific things inside but the areas inside are creepy as well as cool looking to see. Just make sure you have a plasma-cutter handy..

May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Flowers in the Attic

flowers in the attic

I’m starting this off by dedicating this to my lil sis who told me about this book and gave me the most depressing book I’ve read.

The book follows the Dollanganger family, the seemingly perfect family…until the father dies and everything unravels. They’d been living on a mix of luck and credit and are about to lose everything. Mother, Corrine, tells her four children they have to go to her estranged, ultra-rich parents; the kids are shocked to find they have grandparents, there last name is really Foxworth, and these grandparents aren’t great people. Corrine’s father is dying, so her plan is to become daddy’s girl again to get money so they can scram. Corrine’s mother hates her with a fiery rage and instantly despises the children; her stipulation is they have to live in the attic, having to pretend they don’t exist. Oldest of the four kids, Christopher and Cathy (the narrator) have to care for there younger brother and sister while dealing with there cruel, hateful grandmother, there mother who has forgotten them, a host of ugly family secrets, and forbidden feelings for each other as they stay in the attic…

I won’t lie, I love this book but holy crap is it heart  wrenching. V.C Andrews ingeniously dangles hope in front of them only to crush it by reality without making the book seeming to feel completely hopeless. I’ve frequently seen this book labeled “horror” and to an extent, I agree. Some of the images and scenes are pretty damn disturbing and there is as much tension if not more than I experienced in many other horror books. I absolutely recommend this book to aspiring writers like myself and people who need a good tear or two. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ricky Gervais: Humanity

download

I have never watched a Ricky Gervais stand up, tho I have seen him talk and seen a few clips here and there. He always struck me as an intelligent and funny guy whether you agree with his point of view or not. I didn’t really know what to expect tho. After watching this one however made me realize this guy cares not at all about what he says. Not in the sense that he intentionally says messed up things or goes out of his way to be cruel or offensive. However he understands things certain things many people seem to have forgotten. The context of a joke and the target of a joke matters just as much as anything else. A joke including the word rape is not the same as making a joke about someone being raped, making a joke about a trans gendered person is not the same as making a joke about a person being trans gendered. Both of these are points he makes during the stand up he has encountered.  His stand up it at times messed up but is hilarious and thought-provoking and even if you don’t like that kind of humor it might make you appreciate a different perspective. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Trapt

trapt

What’s one of the biggest cliches in gaming? Cute, defenseless princess gets kidnapped and a hero needs to come to save her (not mentioning names Peach.) I found this PS2 pseudo-horror game on accident and while it kicked my ass, it also was a rarity for me at the time- a game that is badass but made me think.

Allura is a princess on the run after her father is murdered and she is framed by her evil stepmother. Her only refuge seems to be a Gothic manor where she gets possessed by essentially the Devil. She gains the power to summon traps in the house to kill her pursuers.

I will tell you off the bat I didn’t play the game in English but Japanese dub with English subtitle; I’m not sure if there is a English dub. The game isn’t perfect but fun. You set traps along the floor, wall, and ceiling, and use yourself to lure your prey to them. Besides these traps, you are defenseless so don’t get cornered and keep moving. The traps are cool and damn right cruel by the end, so if you are a Saw fan I’d definitely check it out. There are very elusive ultimate environmental traps that once triggered are disturbingly awesome, unless you get caught in them that is. Your own traps can kill you. Graphically, the game looks pretty and sounds nice. I found myself near rage-quit a few times because of either a bullshit kill or a certain boss that is a absolute pain about half way through. I’d recommend some research before buying but I found it alright in the end. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Game Over, Man (2018)

game over, man

Another Netflix movie that on the surface probably shouldn’t have been all that good. Three idiot friends that work in a hotel, one of which has a weird Salvia addiction that he buys from his possibly delusional money obsessed friend get the surprise on a lifetime. A rich internet celebrity is having a huge party at the hotel, and they are going to try to get him to finance their dream. One small issue, some terrorist have a slightly different idea.

The entire plot of this movie is that Terrorist and these 3 guys want money. Tho the 3 friends had a check that their boss took off them and gave back to the manager and they simply wanted it back. The movie is quite hilarious, and ladies if you want to see Adam Devine’s Dick, this is your chance. It is legitimately in the movie.

The story obviously should not be thought about, it has plenty of plot holes and is far from perfect. It is simply a fun and entertaining movies with some bad but passable special effects. Very much worth a watch tho, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Dante’s Inferno (game)

dante's inferno

I miss a time when EA games made games that hooked me, instead of killed things I loved like DeadSpace and Star Wars: Battlefront. Also by Visceral, we got a game adaptation of the dark epic poem by Dante Alighieri, journeying into the depths of hell.

Dante is a knight who went off to slay and lay for god during the Crusades, only to have his broken promises to his beloved Beatrice come back and bite him in the ass. The Devil comes and takes her as his own to punish Dante, forcing him to face the Grim Reaper guarding the gates of hell. After getting the Reaper’s scythe and a powerful holy cross he must fight through the River Styx, Purgatory, and all 9 levels of hell, battling the damned as well as his own demons to save Beatrice and slay the Devil.

I’m going to be blunt and call this what it really kinda was, God Of War with a creepier skin. A LOT of the gameplay is lifted from God of War, so if you aren’t into hack/slash type games, this isn’t for you. What sells the game hands down is the level and enemy designs which are truly beautiful and horrifying. I do like finding real historical figures in hell, hearing there stories and choosing whether to absolve them to heaven or damn them to oblivion. On a bad note though, towards the end the game fizzles out by the end and the Devil is a pretty lame final boss. I still think the game is worth checking out and at the very least admired  for showing us a classic but freaky hell. May the gaming gods bring you glory.