Category: Horror

Lat year I talked about Texas Chainsaw Massacre when Tobe Hooper passed away; Tobe Hooper, R.I.P . This year I revisit the series after the passing of R Lee Ermey, Sheriff Hoyt, R.I.P R Lee Ermey

As the title suggests, the movie is devoted to showing how the diabolical Hewitt family of the remake came to power as well as the birth of Thomas Hewitt, the man who would become Leatherface. Tommy suffers from several birth defects, cast away and thrown into a dumpster after his mother dies during birth, in a slaughterhouse nonetheless. He is found and brought to the Hewitt family and raised as his own, deformed and mute, growing up to return to the slaughterhouse. But hard times have come to Travis County and the house closes, and after years of taking shit, Tommy snaps and the madness begins. Tommy’s uncle Charlie kills the town sheriff and takes his authority and identity out on the ghost town while coming across four teens on there way to enlist in Vietnam. In this encounter we see how things came to be, as well as the pivotal moment Tommy took his first face and picked up the chainsaw, his only real friend.

2006 was a bloody time in horror with Saw, Hostel, and the Hills Have Eyes being all the rage and this movie fits the trend. As far as A-B prequels go, it’s pretty solid. It’s very much a movie where you are invested in the family more than the heroes and I found myself much more attached to them then the people you should have been, although the Hewitts are the straight up bad guys here. Ermey as Hoyt and Andrew Brynairski as Leatherface were the highlights for me. It’s a VERY bloody and brutal movie so don’t watch it if guts make you sick. Overall, I thought it was a underrated slasher film that deserves a second look. To finish this review I want to quote R Lee Ermey as Hoyt, my favorite line from the movie and one that’s come to me a few times in real life, when all is said and done..

” Nobody will remember what we say here today, but they are sure as shit remember what we do,” – Sheriff Hoyt.

Fun fact for all those out there, I watched this directly after the first Children of the Corn much like Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows and Alien Resurrection this is a WTF kind of movie.

A mother has some harsh mental problems, as she keeps getting terrorized by a nightmare of rotting children. Her oldest daughter Grace is forced to come back to Gaitlin to take care of her mother, little brother, and baby sister (who is secretly her daughter) and be a nurse for the town Doctor. One night a sickness overtakes the children- many lose there teeth, many go comatose, some exhibit violent mood swings, and delusions but alas it’s a dead, zombie preacher kid that raises out of the grave. Secrets come out as Grace must save her daughter from reviving the horror of a young, demonic priest.

For the fourth movie in the series, it’s not too bad all considering. There is some genuinely creepy imagery and some decent creepy dialogue and make up. The acting is ok, and the goofy WTF nature is mainly stripped away which works well but is kind of a bummer. In the end it ain’t a bad movie, just mostly there. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

So 90’s kids, have you ever watched Fresh Prince and asked yourself, you know what this show needs, the Children of the Corn? Well you kind of got your wish.

Unlike Children of the Corn 2: The Final Sacrifice which tried to stay somewhat close to the vibe of the first film, Urban Harvest tries to go in a different direction. Josh and Eli are brothers rescued from an abusive dad in Gaitlin and sent to live with foster parents in the big city. Josh, the older of the two brothers, seems more rebellious, breaking his Amish-like wardrobe, making friends and being a normal teen in there Catholic School. Eli stays to his ways, but he brings a gift from home: the corn. We learn they are foster brothers, and Eli has always had a dark part in Gaitlin’s history. Gaining love in devotion from his foster dad, a marketing executive, Eli wants to spread his demon corn throughout the US…yep.

The plot is ludicrous, yes, I’m willing to admit. Most will call it trash; it’s one of my favorite WTF movies next to Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows and Halloween: Resurrection. There are some interesting death scenes combined with effects that are just sub-par to be enjoyable. Eli is a devilishly fun cult leader, second best to Issac from the original. The acting really ain’t too bad for such a laughable premise. It’s a fun kind of horror sequel that can enjoyed on a WTF movie with your friends and some beers. May the gaming gods bring you glory, and more Children of the Corn reviews are on the way.

Since I was a kid, I was a huge fan of the Children of the Corn series, for better or worse. Were they ever the crowning gem of horror? Yes and no, while the concepts and things behind them are creepy and there’s some messed up imagery throughout the movies, there is a ton of WTF moments that keep it memorable. Let me say this now, the title of this movie is bullshit: there are 9 of these movies that I’m aware of with a 10th in the making, final sacrifice my ass.

As for plot, it’s a pretty standard horror sequel. The police finally investigate Gaitlin after I guess Burt and Vicky got out and rescue the traumatized surviving children who are either catatonic or what. They are taken to the next town over and through the corn, another kid is possessed and this whole thing starts again. A reporter and his angsty teenage son are there to investigate the previous events but while Danny, the son is finding first love, he is likewise being draw to the children and it’s up to his father to save him before history repeats itself…

Many people have fixed feelings about the first movie, but feelings here are much easier to conclude: this movie kinda blows. There’s a lot of down time between some decent kills but all in all the movie feels longer than it is. Micah as a main villain is nowhere near as memorable as Issac and I found him annoying at times. The acting is meh at best. Sequels are supposed to raise the intensity, raise the stakes with bigger body counts, bigger story and Final Sacrifice just feels like a step back from the first. I’d say it’s safe to skip it and go straight to the batshit that is 3. May the gaming gods bring you glory and tuned for more Children of the Corn reviews.