Category: Horror

Mom and Dad (2018)

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As a parent myself I can honestly say every parent has thought ” damn it I hate my kids some times” but I can’t say I have ever wanted to kill them. You know, for legal reasons. Don’t want that in writing. Mom and Dad however is about a typical suburban family, you know mom dad two-story house two cars daughter and son.

I have to stress this, the movie is pretty much the epitome of a dark horror movie. The general idea is that one day things are normal when all of a sudden parents attempt to kill their children. While this sounds like a straight out horror movie, and it easily could be they did make it a comedy and I am glad they did.

The movie is far from perfect. The children for example play pretty boring characters, and Nickolas Cage will either be an insane over acted character you love or hate.

The good however is really good, the concept is rather fun, the comedy aspect is really fun and the horror part is pretty well done as well. The very beginning sets up a few things for later that either  you forget about until they pop up or that hint at some social commentary that doesn’t really go where you expect.

There is however one scene that may be a bit much for some people who I feel the need to warn people about. It does set up a key part of the story, but some people may be a bit touchy on the subject. One scene has a woman having a baby. After being allowed to hold it she starts to squeeze the baby which results in the nursing staff and her sister freaking out and attempting to get the baby off her. The sister then reaches for a scalpel to stab the kid with. They do save the baby, and the scene sets the fact up that the parents will only attack their own kids specifically, but it can be a bit graphic for some. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Guardians of the Galaxy: The Telltale series

gotg telltale

I can’t say I’m a fine connoisseur of Telltale games. In fact, the only other I’ve actually played was Tales from the Borderlands  which was awesome and Savior told great things about Batman: The Telltale Series and The Walking Dead Telltale Season 1 . Essentially, if you played any of the others, you get the gist of this: point and click with a story that will tug on your heartstrings. We follow our favorite Guardians (Star-Lord, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, and Groot.) as they come into contact with a mysterious artifact called the Eternity Forge that can revive anyone back from the dead. I’m not going too deep into the plot to avoid spoilers but if you love the characters you knew in the movie, you’ll love this game. It is not a movie game though it tries like hell to ride the vibes of the movie. It is a slow burn but satisfying by the end, just keep going with it during the slow parts but does feel bloated at times. It’s not a great game, but it’s not terrible and you get a free Platinum upon completion; I recommend it if it’s $10 or less. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Avengers

avengers

We finally come to probably one of the greatest damn superhero movies of all time as well as proof that cinematic universes can actually be done right with care.

After the events of Thor, S.H.I.E.L.D has the Tesseract and from it reemerges Loki with a badass scepter and a grudge; during his time in the deep ass end of space, he made a deal to conquer Earth with a alien army in exchange for getting to eventually recapture Asgard. Nick Fury, witnessing how under prepared they are against someone like Loki, the Avengers Initiative goes underway bringing together Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Hulk to face a colossal army and a god to save the world…

I had little faith walking into this movie; I didn’t think it was going to live up to the hype at all but holy crap it did and more. The cast and characters were spectacular with insanely awesome effects and a good blend of laughs and drama along with badass combos- I’m a sucker for super combos. This movie is pretty much every nerd’s wet dream and I can’t recommend this movie enough. Below I’m including a watchlist of phase 1, ending with Avengers as well as a music video for the film to set the mood. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Iron Man (2008)  Incredible Hulk  Iron Man 2 (2010)  Thor  Captain America: the First Avenger Avengers

Venom trailer 2

 

Venom trailer was pretty disappointing, considering we didn’t get a damn glimpse of Venom at all but holy shit the wait was worth it. The second trailer we get a lot more of the symbiote’s ability and the first image of him in all of his scary ass glory! I’m suddenly more optimistic, though I don’t know how they will get around the Spider-man stuff  but I’m no longer dreading it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ghost Team (2016)

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Ghost Team is an odd movie, it’s a comedy that isn’t funny but is not, not funny. The story is about a group of friends that decide to go on a ghost hunt, just like on their favorite television show. So they borrow ( well steal) some equipment, go to an abandoned place in the woods and start their hunt.

Things start getting weird pretty damn quick. There are voices, and images on cameras and electricity going on and off. Things are just horrible. It doesn’t take long for things however to get even worse.I won’t spoil that surprise for you tho.

The movie itself, isn’t bad. It does seem to try way to hard at times tho to be both edgy and immature at the same time and fails completely to do both. The movie simply isn’t good, which is quite upsetting for a movie with Jon Heder and Justin Long since both are amazing actors and are great in everything they do. Even in this they play their parts well, they simply weren’t given anything to work with. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled

wishmaster 4

Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled is the 4th and final Wishmaster movie, thankfully. Once again John Novak returns as the Djinn, and this one is a bit different. Still bad, still the same plot, but this time the Djinn tries to be nice to our chosen one with the 3 wishes. He still does the usual with everyone else, you know kills people while twisting their wishes or taking things way to literal with their wish.

The nudity is still here for I assume the same reason as the last one when it suddenly showed up, covering up a bad story. This time a woman (Lisa) is trying to help her boyfriend win a lawsuit after a motorcycle accident. Her lawyer that loves her gives her a gift that turns out to contain a stone that once again releases the Djinn. Lisa uses her first 2 wishes to unknowingly help her boyfriend and the third, weirdly creates a paradox. She doesn’t know the Djinn isn’t her actually her lawyer and wishes she could love her for who he is, which messes things up a bit since love must be given freely and only she could grant that wish.

The whole thing is convoluted and makes no real damn sense. Honestly I would watch the first 2 Wishmaster movies and pretend the other 2 don’t exist. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Wishmaster 3:Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001)

wishmaster 3

Wishmaster 3 brings the Djinn back again, tho  played by John Novak this time and honestly the change just isn’t good to me. In fact almost everything about this movie represents a huge fall about the movie for me, minus the fact that I am a dude and the nudity content shot up for the next 2 movies for some unexplained reason. I can only guess this was to cover up for the fact that the story takes a wide turn into ridiculous and nonsensical.

This time a teachers assistant awakens the Djinn and the Djinn now terrorizes a college to find the one that freed him, once again to free his kind to rule the world. Diana however has a plan, and that plan is St. Michael the Archangel. Yup, good old St. Mike shows up with his sword to defeat the Djinn, but he can’t. For some inexplicable reason this angel shows up with no powers other than a magical sword and he can’t even win, he needs this college student to finish him off. The movie just makes no real sense, the death scenes aren’t even all that fun and the movie is a huge step down from the last two. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wishmaster 2:Evil Never Dies (1999)

Wishmaster 2

Our favorite Djinn is (Andrew Divoff) is back, this time accidentally released by a thief in this made for T.V horror movie. Honestly, it looks like a made for T.V. movie. Released in 1999 it looks like it was made in 1989, tho honestly that is part of its charm. I do however use the word charm vaguely because it will take a special horror movie fan to enjoy this. Rotton tomatoes trashed this movie with a 10%, but it did fair better on IMBd with a 5.1/10.

The story itself isn’t bad, tho again pretty cliche and straight out of the 80’s and quite simpler Djinn gets released, collects souls, attempts to grant the one that released him 3 wishes to release the rest of his kind and take over the world and in true Djinn form all of his wishes are granted very literally and take a quick turn for the gross and deadly as he collects 1000 souls.

The movie however is fun in that gross and weird way, but it isn’t for everyone and doesn’t offer anything your average horror fan hasn’t seen a million times. All in all, however I enjoyed it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 666: Issac’s Return

children corn 6

So this will be the final review I’m doing for the Children of the Corn series. There are others in the series and I’m sure the series isn’t dead, but for me the series came down to a fair conclusion with the sixth installment.

As the title suggests, Issac returns to his flock almost 20 years later after being in a coma since the original film. Hannah, a young woman has returned to Gatlin in search for her mother who was one of Issac’s original disciples. The town is full of his reformed flock and their offspring. When Hannah comes, Issac awakens and he foretells a prophecy that she will mate with He Who Walks Behind The Rows and pretty much create the Anti-Christ…

Ok, for a movie called Children of the Corn, there really aren’t any children in this movie. Just saying. On a whole, I got to say I feel it’s the best since the original and that’s mainly because of the charisma of Issac’s original actor. I liked the way we discover the fallout on the kids from the original cult. The story and acting are solid with easily the best effects of the series. If you enjoy the first movie, definitely check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 5: Fields of Terror

children corn 5

So, wanna talk about a movie Eva Mendes doesn’t want to. In fact I gotta say there’s been a few famous starlets in the series before they were famous. Naomi Watts starred in Children of the Corn 4: The Gathering and Charlize Theron had a small bit part in Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest That being said, this review kinda sums up why I left the series with 7: these movies become stale real quick. Some friends who are supposed to be college age but we know are pushing 30 break down in a town, they go for help, come back and car is destroyed, kids lead them to weird cult leader played the late David Carradine and yadda yadda. I can’t lie folks, this movie bored the shit out of me. It’s not offensively terrible but it just couldn’t hold my attention, and that was at the height of my fandom. It’s the least WTF of the series, it’s not particularly gory or outlandish as others which kind of hurts the movie and I really can’t remember any new kind of piece to the lore. Carradine gives the best performance of the movie but isn’t there much and Eva Mendes is laughably bored but when these are the best features of your film, is it really worth remembering? In the end, it’s worth skipping, you aren’t missing much. May the gaming gods bring you glory.