Category: Horror

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is both vastly different from the first and yet quite similar to the first. It starts out with an epic battle to protect, oddly enough, batteries from a huge creature. Yes they are being paid, and as this goes on baby Groot is dancing and proves he may be the cutest little hero to ever exist. After all this they receive payment for a job well done and leave, but of course Rocket Raccoon steals some of the batteries and all hell breaks loose.

The story itself is sort of an origin story of sorts for Star Lord as you will learn more about his mom and meet his dad. While the movie is as well made and beautiful as the first and easily just as funny if not more, the story itself for me was not as good. It lacked that same level of excitement and had quite a few down trends where it wasn’t very exciting or even interesting. The movie is good, don’t get me wrong. Any fan of the Marvel movies will enjoy it, but don’t expect it to be as amazing as the first. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

May (2002)

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There’s times there are films that are special and different, that sadly don’t get the recognition they deserve. In the fifth grade I started experimenting with horror movies and this was likely the first psychological horror film I can remember and it still affects me today…

May follows a shy, strange, lonely young woman who simply wants a friend. As a girl she was bullied for her lazy eye so she received a beautiful doll to be her friend. Grown up, May works as a vet’s assistant and has gotten her eye surgically fixed. She begins talking to a handsome guy named Adam and May is immediately smitten with the guy, but she discovers that while you like pieces of someone, you hardly like the whole thing, and so May decides to build her very own friend…

I really really liked this movie because it didn’t feel like a horror movie. On the contrary, I felt her pain, being alone then seeing the asshole side of new friends. Angela Bettis is fantastic as the titular character, and a highly underrated actress (she also played my favorite rendition of Carrie, I highly recommend also). The movie is slowly paced and there isn’t much in the ways of gore or action but the music, atmosphere, and cinematography are unsettling. The conclusion is sad but eerie. I recommend checking it out if you can track this movie down. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes everyone.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

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Guardians of the Galaxy is the story of, well i’m not sure you can call them heroes since they are mostly criminals. But hey let us for the sake of argument call them heroes. Any way after stealing a mysterious orb earthling Peter Quill also known as Star Lord is thrown together with others to form The guardians of the Galaxy in order fend of Ronan The Accuser and his attempts to take over everything. The movie itself is hilarious and well made tho it is far from perfect.

The most amazing part of the whole thing honestly is that a comic serious that most people outside the comic world really knew nothing about was so well received and loved by many. For me personally when I heard Batista the professional wrestler  was going to be in the movie I had very little hope it would be any good but damn was I wrong. If some how you missed this one, go check it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Shark Attack 2

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Oh boy. Just…ugh. Ok, so in 2002 I was a kid and still riding the high of Deep Blue Sea, I wanted more. So Duke told me about a movie on Sci-fi channel that was pretty much the same thing. And he was right…but a crappier version.

So a aquarium in sunny California acquires a new Great White shark. Something is off about it. Turns out it’s the offspring of a genetically altered enlarged shark from the first film. Oh and there’s like 6 of these things. The shark gets out, meets up with the others and kills a beach of people. So a Nick Cage look alike, a woman out for revenge against the sharks that murdered her sister, and a douchy Steve Irwin wannabe have to ban together and kill these damn dirty sharks.

Ok, so if you ever saw a shark movie, there’s nothing really groundbreaking. If you thought Jaws needed lame characters and more gore and Deep Blue Sea needed to be more hokey and have lame practical effects, well here you go. At least it  isn’t boring because of all of the shark kills. In the end, it’s forgettable but Ok if you want some decent gore. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

Ash vs Evil Dead (series)

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I came late to the party on this one and just recently caught up on seasons one and two. Rather than doing each season by itself I figured I would just give my thoughts on the series in general.

Only counting the movies this is based around the last one came out in the early 90’s, and for those not old enough to really know the first Evil Dead is pretty much the definition of a movie that was made and became a cult classic that nobody could have seen coming. I can’t imagine they made this thinking ” Ok guys thats a wrap, lets sit back and wait to make a couple million, a few sequels and in about 30 years a television show.” I mean maybe that happened but I seriously doubt it.

Later movies took on a much less serious tone and I think thats because by the time I saw Evil Dead I thought the movie was hilarious not scary. Fast forward to Ash vs Evil Dead. This show is stupid, ridiculous and serves absolutely no purpose. And I can not wait for season 3. If you said hey Savior what would you want in an Evil Dead television show, this would be it. The entire show is based around Ash doing mostly stupid stuff, hitting on women, getting drunk, and killing deadites in gory and ridiculous ways. One of my favorite lines is him driving along yelling about how maybe he shouldn’t be driving and he may not have a fancy license from the DMV but at least he is drunk. Numerous times he will talk about how things can’t get worse and this always means things will get worse. Any fan of the old movies will like this show. Sadly it is also one of the most illegally downloaded shows out there, so please, it is on Netflix, go watch it there. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Deep Blue Sea

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It’s winter in Scranton and I’m freaking cold. Savior had the idea of talking about Jaws, nice sunny summer movies, so I figured, “ah shit, if there were sharks in Scranton It’d feel warmer out I bet.” And since I randomly have heard of a phantom sequel to this coming out over the years, I though why not talk about it.

Deep Blue Sea is the story of a scientist trying to find a cure for Alzheimers by testing on sharks she illegally genetically modified in a research lab in the middle of the ocean. The three mako sharks that were used for testing are now smarter and have trapped the people in the facility that is breaking apart, and it’s up to them to kill the sharks before they break the final layers of containment and find there way into the deep blue sea…

I know the plot sounds like some B movie bullshit but I can assure you it comes together quite well. The characters are solid and there is alot of effort put into suspense, tension, score and the scenery. At the time, for 1999, the shark effects were pretty damn good and much of it still is. There are some questionable moments of early CGI and the notorious Samuel L. Jackson scene that is pretty hilarious and WTF. I have to be honest, Deep Blue Sea is my favorite shark movie and I think it’s pretty underrated, though not a boneified classic like Jaws (1975) but definitely deserves a cult classic status. May the gaming gods bring you glory and beware of sharks.

Bright (2017)

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Bright is another Netflix movie that I really need to stop underestimating. The movie of course isn’t perfect, and Will Smith basically just played Will Smith again as he always does. The story is also quite predictable to the point that I knew the ending about 30 minutes in and that is never a good thing.

All that aside the movie has a pretty original idea for  movie in this day and age. Instead of the usual cop movie on Earth we have an Earth where humans orcs and elves all exist side by side, but in a rather nice twist they always have. Magic is greatly condemned however as about 2000 years ago a dark figure attempted to conquer the world using it. The orcs are basically regulated to being viewed as 3nd class citizens because they sided with the dark one. It is also quite implied that racism doesn’t exist so much as discrimination against species does, where Elves see themselves superior everyone and orcs being pretty much the lowest and humans somewhere in the middle.

Will Smith returns to work with his partner that happens to be the first ever orc police officer which you can imagine does not make the other police happy, all of which are human. Will Smiths character is also not happy since he was shot on duty while his partner bought a burrito and the suspect escaped. No the movie is not perfect, but the action is nice and for those that care to look it is quite thought provoking, but not in your face thought provoking. It is all pretty subtle while the actual story of them attempting to stop rogue elves from recovering a magic wand to revive the dark one to take over the world. This one is worth a watch, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Torsten’s game of 2017

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Happy new year one and all. To wrap up the year, since I saw Savior gave his favorite game a shout out, I thought I would too. It was a really hard tie between Injustice 2 and South Park: Fractured but whole but I have to say South Park farted its way through my heart. The game made me laugh myself to where I feared my pants were wet but besides that, like much of South Park, there was a clever satire involved around the Superhero film craze and honestly, it’s the best superhero story I’ve heard all year. As we venture into 2018, let’s remember while video games give us trophies, a way to prove our skills against the world, and test or brains and reflexes, but at the end of the day, it how we have fun. Let’s have fun in 2018 and may the gaming gods bring you glory this year.

The Devil’s Rejects

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There is very few times in film where the sequel is absolutely better than the original. This is one of those times. With a better characters, story, music, and a darker, more intense situations elevate this to a pretty memorable, and disturbing western horror movie.

Rejects begins with the Firefly family’s homestead getting raided by the police in a violent shootout, lead by Sheriff Wydell whose brother was killed in the last movie. With there mama captured, Otis and Baby are on the run and trying to find Captain Spaulding, while getting there kicks off by terrorizing and torturing a traveling country group. Wydell, filling with rage begins losing himself as he starts going down his own dark path as he tries to kill the rest of the family.

As I said in the intro, pretty much everything got a lot better this time time around. While Otis, Baby, and Spaulding are horrible, unlikable people you do see the humanity in them by the end, while Wydell is a decent lawman who loses his by the end. The 70’s music and gritty cinematography add an extra layer to the movie. Bill Mosely stole the show for me as Otis, who reminded me of the late Charles Manson in his malevolent, satanic nature. Yes, this movie is vulgar as hell and incredibly disturbing and intense but damn it is a great movie that will leave you breathless by the conclusion by far it’s the best film I’ve seen from Zombie. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes to all.

House of 1000 Corpses

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I grew up a 90’s numetal kid that I still love to this day, one of my favorites being Rob Zombie. As well as being a numetal fan, I also love horror so when I saw the trailers for Rob Zombie’s first horror film I was full of bright, cheery, optimism. What came of it?

House of 1000 Corpses is essentially Rob Zombie’s grungier, more vulgar take on Texas Chainsaw Massacre. People break down on the road in the middle of nowhere and are at the mercy of a family of madmen known as the Firefly Family. The most famous character of this family is Captain Spalding, a clown who runs a strange sideshow attraction.

I have to be honest, though it has become a cult classic over the years, I can’t say I like House of 1000 Corpses. Some of the imagery is cool and I do appreciate the throwback to old school horror exploitation, I felt there wasn’t much to differentiate it from movies like TCM, except the vulgarity which there is a shitload of. I can’t really recommend it unless you like Rob Zombie as a artist, other than that, skip to the sequel. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.