Movie Review – Page 100

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

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I have heard a lot about this movie since its release, but I never had the urge to watch it. My biggest issue with this movie was going in we all knew the ending. Finally however after watching The Last Jedi I sat down and watched Rogue One.

Much of what I heard came down to two main things,one the best part of the movie is the last about 5 minutes when Darth Vader looks like a total bad ass and the CGI for Princess Leia looks like complete garbage. We will get to those two points in a bit.

First, K-2SO is the best character in the movie. Robo dude is just great, he is well written and well acted. He alone made the movie for me. I think many people are far to harsh on this one, don’t get me wrong the movie is far from great but it is solid. The story is fun the characters are pretty interesting and at no point did I really feel like anything was being forced. The movie only suffered from one thing that sadly nothing anyone did could have fixed.

At the end of the day, this was a story fans never asked for because it never needed to be told. We knew how it ended already. There was no way this movie could have been done in such a way where the audience could truly be invested in any of the characters because we knew by the end they were all going to die and the plans for the Death Star would end up with the rebels and that it would later be destroyed by Luke Skywalker. Felicity Jones played Jyn Erso amazingly and Diego Luna was great as Cassian and even how much I loved K-2So and how well Alan Tudyk played him it didn’t matter because going in, I knew this was the end of them.

As for Darth Vaders bad ass moment, it wasn’t all that bad ass. It was cool, but we have seen better from the Franchise and Leia did not look as bad as people made her out to look. Many people seem to have hated this movie because it was a cool thing to do. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Krampus Unleashed (2016)

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Krampus Unleashed is one of those movies that falls between being a horrible B movie that I love and legitimately just a poorly made movie. Usually they have low production value and they realize this, they embrace this. They don’t pretend to be more. Krampus however attempts to blur this line. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, the movie looks pretty good. The acting is solid as well. Where the movie falls a bit flat however is the pacing is off and the story itself is rather odd.

The movie starts off in what seems like post WW2 Germany when some treasure hunters late at night when they discover a small box with a black stone in it. After some fighting they unleash Krampus whom shows up to kill a few people. We then find ourselves in the future.

A family trip to gramps country home we get to know the family, mostly a pretty basic group, expect for one kid that wants to have sex with his cousin. Not a joke by the way. This is where the story gets weird. Turns out that scene at the beginning of the movie was on this country home farm as the family discovers the rock in a river.

I won’t go to much further into the story, feel to watch it for yourself. While the story itself isn’t great it isn’t horrible and the gore factor is rather nice with limbs being torn off and blood by the bucket full. It is a nice throw back to when horror movies were just awkward stories that were an excuse for a body count. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The GraveDancers

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Almost a decade ago began the After Dark Horrorfest, and the first year had some pretty sweet low budget horror movies made by people that enjoyed the genre. I’m a tad bit rusty on the specifics of this particular movie but I remember some images creeping me out and the plot being a bit more strange than your typical ghost story.

We begin with our three main characters joining together for the funeral of a old college friend after going there own separate ways as is life. During the funeral, they decide a sad ceremony isn’t the way to celebrate there departed pal and well, they decide to share a drink with them at the cemetery after hours and get blitzed and in drunken euphoria they going dancing through the cemetery, wondering into the wrong part where the worst people in town were buried. The spirits of these 3 evil people are pretty pissed some drunks literally went dancing on there graves and begin haunting them, not stopping until they get there own twisted revenge…

While not the greatest horror movie by any means, there is ambition to it we don’t really see much these days. The plot is strong and interesting, even for a B movie. Some of the effects vary as well as the acting but it works fair enough. The ghosts and there stories were my favorite part. I do recommend picking up a DVD rather than catching it on TV because watching it on TV, it gets chopped to hell, but it is worth a watch all the same. May the gaming gods stop you from drunken grave dancing.

Merry Friggin’ Christmas (2015)

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This movie holds a special place for me actually, not because its great or horrible or anything like that. It is actually the first new movie of his I saw after he died. But was the movie any good? Well let me answer that.

The movie starts out with a man explaining that he sometimes over does things with his kids, namely Christmas. The reason for that, well his father wasn’t exactly great at that sort of thing. He didn’t like that his son wanted to paint instead of doing more manly things for example.

With this in mind Boyd never goes home for Christmas until his brother asked him to be god father of his child, but decides to hold the baptism on Christmas eve. While this in itself would be enough to ruin a holiday they also forget the Christmas presents at home.

In a last ditch effort to save Christmas Boyd attempts to rush home, grab the gifts and return in 8 hours. A trip that takes pretty much as much time as he has until the kids wake up, the perfect coincidence. Poof, car trouble. Dad (Robin Williams) for the save.

Honestly the movie isn’t that good, it is pretty much the stereotypical father and son don’t get along fight a lot and bind over helping the grand kids story. Williams himself is the best part of the movie tho even there it isn’t his best performance. It is far from the worst Christmas movie I have seen this month, but most people won’t be fond of it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ready Player One trailer

ready player one

I’m sorry it took me a while to talk about what we’ve seen for Spielberg’s highly anticipated Sci fi epic based of the highly acclaimed book. I can’t say I have any experience with it, never having read the book. From the trailer I gather it’s about a young man in a broken down world where virtual reality is the only real escape, The Oasis. The creator of which is dying and fortune and control of the Oasis lies in the one who can find the Easter Egg inside of the Oasis.

My first impression is this going to be a beautiful looking movie. The special effects look like the greatest of video game cut scenes and the sets look impressive. I’m really intrigued by the world itself and I think it’s going to be a huge lure for many. I can’t get a feel for the characters yet but the opening monologue was solid. I’ll be keeping an eye on it and I’m sure Savior and I will go see it in theaters when the time comes. Until then were just some thoughts and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Hated (2017)

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The Hatred is one of those movies I am really not sure what to do with. The start of the movie is a bit odd and I wasn’t a fan. A dad seems to be possessed by something kills his daughter and is subsequently killed by his wife. We then fast forward to the modern day when some college students stay at the house years later.

The movie should have been great tho. There was cursed cult artifacts, a scary creature in the basement, a Nazi officer in hiding. The movie just never really took off and felt rather mundane. The movie wasn’t bad by any means and I wouldn’t go so far as to say don’t watch the movie. By all means grab a soda and some popcorn sit back and give it a go. Casual movie fans will most likely enjoy this flick, hardcore horror fans however will want to stay clear. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

A Christmas Story

This movie is such a timeless classic there is a 24 hour marathon of it every year. I don’t even need to review this honestly, I could have posted the picture of the kid and a BB gun and just stopped there and you guys would have gotten it. But hey let us get on with what is basically a formality here.

The movie takes place in the 1940’s and young Ralphie has one dream. He wants a Red Ryder BB gun. He needs to convince his parents, teacher, Santa, anyone that will listen he needs one. The problem is, he will shoot his eye out. Along the way there are bullies, dares to stick a tongue to a light post and even dropping lug nuts down a drain and saying fudge.except he doesn’t say fudge. He says the F— word. By the way he throws his friend under the bus an I know they only had phones with cords back then, you hear mom run over and smack the holy hell out of this poor innocent kid. You know how hard you have to hit someone to hear it across a house over a 1940’s phone that clearly? That poor bastards grand kids had bruises when they were born in the 1980’s.

Anyways back on track, I don’t mind spoiling this movie a little bit. At the end of the movie, in true 1940’s fashion, hell even in 1980’s or the 1990’s fashion dad comes through and buys this kid a Red Ryder BB gun. Because you know, back then it was socially acceptable to buy kids actual weapons. The kid also almost immediately manages to shoot himself in the face when it bounces of some metal and his glasses prevent him from shooting his own eye out. Let this be a lesson kids, when shooting a BB gun you actually can shoot your eye out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Miracle on 34th Street (1994)

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Miracle on 34th street. A movie that has been done a few times and always tells the same story about a man that claims to be Santa, works at a department store and a rival tries to ruin him and the store by discrediting him. Lets be 100% honest here tho, how the hell do you hear and old guy running around claiming he is Santa and not think this dude is bat shit crazy?

The movie honestly is amazing, if I had to choose between this and the original I am not sure I could choose. Both are well done, the characters are played amazingly the stories are damn near perfect and the people playing Santa look like someone ripped them from a Christmas book and stuck them in the movie. These movies are considered classic for a reason, and I dare you to see the court room scene with post office dragging in bags of letters to Santa and NOT cheer for the crazy old man. There are movies out there that just epitomize Christmas and this is one of them. But don’t worry, on December 25th I will be posting the best Christmas movie of all time. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ted 2

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I will never think of Trix cereal or John William’s iconic Jurassic Park theme the same ever again. And because of this movie, Savior and I will get kicked out of a Improv house someday.

So we begin on Ted’s wedding day to Tammi Lyn as we see John saddened by his divorce from now ex wife Lori. Ted urges him to get back in the dating game while soon Ted’s marriage is in jeopardy. But they find a solution: just have a baby. This however isn’t a easy task since Ted is a toy and not capable of reproducing, leading to adoption and the core dilemma of the film: the government cracks down on Ted for being essentially a stuffed animal, not alive, and soon his rights are being systematically taken away. So it’s up to John and Ted to team up with a fresh young, cute lawyer named Sam L. Jackson and prove to the world Ted is alive. Oh and that creepy ass weirdo from the first movie is back too.

I’m going to call this movie subjective: you’ll either love it or hate it. In fact I think it’s funnier than the first. There’s a lot more outrageous humor and crazier cameos in this movie. The performances are great all around and the story is actually pretty deep. I know comedy sequels especially have a reputation for sucking but I recommend checking it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ted

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Ya ever just need a feel good movie when life sucks ass? Two of my favorites are the Ted movies. For my thunder buddy Savior, I figured why not…

Ted is the story of a kid named John Bennett whose teddy bear comes to life after making a wish on a star. The world freaks out and overnight Ted becomes famous for a time, but through fame and fall, twenty years later him and John are still best friends, mainly cracking jokes and getting high together, but there is a problem. John’s girlfriend Lori wants John to grow up and make Ted move out. Now Ted has to get a job and a place and avoid the creepy son of a bitch following him in the background of this strange, outrageous tale narrated by Sir Patrick Stewart because…reasons.

It’s quite rare a movie makes me almost piss myself laughing but also bring on the feels. Ted achieves this extremely well. Speaking of which, the effects on Ted himself are really damn good and Seth McFarlene brings this A game here as writer, directer, and as a voice actor.Him and Mark Wahlberg have a great chemistry together. I will say, if you aren’t a fan of Family Guy or that type of humor, this movie isn’t for you but I had a awesome time with it. May the gaming gods bring you glory and a thunder buddy.