Category: Movie Review

The Amazing Spider-man 2

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And of course we come to the sequel and premature end of the Amazing Spider-man series. I’m saying this right now, theatrically in 3-D this movie is freaking awesome. Without that? Eh, let’s get into that.

Picking up almost two years later, Peter and Gwen are graduating high school, Spider-man has gotten experience under his belt but the memory of Gwen’s father haunts him as well as the mysteries of his parents and the fear for Gwen’s safety. His long estranged childhood friend Harry Osborn reappears after his father passes away from a genetic disorder and the two reconnect until Harry comes face to face with the same infliction. Spider-man also finds himself put to the test when villain Electro appears after another Oscorp based accident occurs when Spider-man obsessed fan Max Dillon falls into a pit of genetically altered electric eels after being shocked- nope I ain’t making that up…oh and Sinister Six shit too…

If you really loved these movies, I’m deeply sorry you won’t get no kind of conclusion to the multiple plots left open because this movie is primarily world building fluff, sequel bait. Garfield is much better a second time around and the supporting cast does well mainly. My favorite part is Jaime Fox as Electro, accompanied by a interesting score I can’t get out of my head. The fight scenes are much cooler. My biggest problem is the amount of shit is crammed into the film which makes it feel bloated, and because this was the end of it and wasn’t continued, it feels largely pointless. Also, Rhino. Oh I don’t know what the hell made them think anything about Rhino was a good idea. I can’t tell you if Electro or the Goblin to be is supposed to be the main villain. Overall, in my opinion, it’s not a terrible Spider-man film but the overuse of universe sequel bait kills it.Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Amazing Spider-man

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Well, because I O.Ded on DC for a bit, I’ve been covering miscellaneous Marvel movies like every Fantastic 4 movie and Daredevil. Today, bumming around my other job, I flipped a coin to either talk about Spider-man or Punisher. Guess who won?

The Amazing Spider-man is the 2012 reboot of the beloved wallcrawler, but in a darker, more grounded tone that tried to be more true to the comics. Essentially we get another origin story, only this time having a thread focusing on Peter’s parents and Peter’s search for answers about them, leading him to Dr. Curt Connors, his father’s old partner and soon to be Spider-man’s first enemy, the Lizard.

Ok, this is a tricky one. I like that Spidey has web-shooters and we have Gwen Stacy as his love interest, not Mary Jane. I love the supporting cast, especially Emma Stone as Gwen and Rhys Ifans as Connors/ Lizard, though he is under used. I like the use of P.O.V shots when Spider-man is being Spider-man and the acrobatic stuff is pretty sweet to watch. That’s about it for me. Rest of this movie pissed me off something fierce.  I do not like Andrew Garfield’s take on Peter Parker- I felt he was too whiny and kinda emo nor his take on Spider-man- I felt he trash talked too much and was a wuss when it came to fighting. I get it, he’s not a huge brawler but dammit you got insane reflexes and you’re twenty times stronger than your average guy, I don’t think you need to run from a couple muggers. Oh, and I love how he pretty much says Fuck it trying to find Uncle Ben’s killer after a five minute montage. And oh the costume. Savior won’t allow me to use the language I require to describe my dark, black hearted disdain for that costume.  Lizard looks ok but I think they could have used a better design. Honestly, this movie feels like Spider-man for the YA Twilight crowd in a lot of ways. It took multiple viewings but overall I’m ok with it but I prefer the Rami trilogy much more. I haven’t seen Homecoming yet. I know the debate is out on McGuire vs Garfield as better Spidey so I recommend watching both series and deciding for yourself. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Bad Santa 2 (2016)

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Its hard to believe there is a 13 year gap between the two movies, but here we are. Thankfully this time around parents seemed to have been smart enough to realize an R rated movie called “Bad Santa 2” was not good for kids. Maybe that 13 year gap was long enough for those kids to have kids and remember oh shit  Santa’s elf punched a kid in the nuts lets not bring my kid to see this one.

Anyway this time around our elf is out of jail and is back with Santa for one last job, and this time mom is here. Mom is played by Kathy Bates and I have to say Billy Bob, her and Tony Cox work amazing together. Not to be out done Brett Kelly once again plays his role perfectly.

The plan this time? To rob a charity of millions of dollars by pretending to be Santa once again. Having recently watched the first Bad Santa again I can’t say this one is as funny as the first, but it is as good of a movie. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is hilarious and it is now on my list of movies I will watch every Christmas. This is easily one of those must see Christmas movies. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

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Earlier today I talked about a movie that was totally crap, so I thought I would get some balance by talking about a truly underrated horror flick that actually got me and proved PG-13 could pack a punch in horror.

The Exorcism of  Emily Rose follows the trial of a priest accused of aiding in the death of young Emily Rose during a exorcism gone wrong. During his accounts, we see the dark events of Emily’s possession.

Much like Salem’s Lot, it is a simple plot but it is followed through excellently. The actors are very down to earth and the use of practical effects leaned a much appreciated touch of realism VERY few films in this genre. The way Emily’s body unnaturally contort and the expressions of her face are damn effective and creepy. This movie has one of my all time favorite scares, which is a huge compliment I can’t often say. The only real flaw I can say is I didn’t like the ending personally, but that is strictly an opinion thing dealing with  the subject of beliefs, so hell, to reach his own. Overall, I seriously recommend this as what I would call one of the best underrated horror films of last decade. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mountain Men (2016)

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Mountain men with Tyler Labine is one of those movies it seems most people never heard of, but is actually quite a good movie. Tyler is actually a pretty good actor that seems to never really get the credit he deserves. You can read about another of his movies here. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Review 

This one is the story about two brothers that really don’t see each other. One lives in the small mountain town they grew up in, the other has moved to the big city and never really comes home. That is until their mother gets married. Tyler has a plan tho, and that plan is to get his brother up to their fathers cabin for a few days.

This is where shit goes terribly wrong. The following morning in a series of accidents leave them stranded in the woods, cold, injured and pretty much stoned as hell.

The story itself is pretty  cliche and doesn’t do anything new, but it is funny and entertaining, which for a comedy is good enough really. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Wish Upon

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Savior had the misfortune of hearing me spaz out while watching this mutated cat turd of a movie. What happens when we strip the base plot of a Goosebumps book, add a shit load of trendy little ticks to be trendy for your PG-13 audience, and water down Final Destination? Cinematic Horror diarrhea.

Claire is a high school girl who stumbled upon her mother killing herself as a kid and lives a normal shitty high school existence getting bullied by the preppy popular girls and hides the shame of her dad dumpster diving for a living. Yep. Well, on a dive, her dad finds a fancy box covered in Chinese script and says “I bet my daughter would like this” and gives it to her. Well she learns that it’s a wishing box and her wishes come true, but with the price of someone’s life, and she can’t stop.

Ok, this is the second worst movie I’ve seen this year. The plot has so many logic gaps and tries being trendy so damn hard it stops being funny and will begin to piss you off. Like what American high school teaches Chinese; why the fuck is the dad so relentless about dumpster diving; how the hell can getting your hair caught in a disposal break your neck? The kills are either lame, funny, or watered down. The twist you will figure out 10 minutes in. I hated Claire after two wishes, seriously, you will root for the box after a while. The only way I’d actually recommend this is you want a movie to laugh at with friends, but don’t go past Redbox. Best wishes, may the gaming gods bring you glory, and friends don’t let friends watch Wish Upon.

Bad Santa (2003)

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This movie being as old as it is kind of messes with me. I remember when it came out and people took their kids to go and see it in theaters. Not sure why they thought an R rated movie titled “Bad Santa” was going to be appropriate for children but hey they did it and then got pissed when he was an alcoholic that swore worse than a drunk sailor on shore leave. And that is a lot, I have met a few.

The basic story is simple, a life long criminal and his partner that happens to be height appropriate to play an elf every year get a job at a mall. Christmas eve they rob the mall, crack open the safe, steal the cash and live off it until the next Christmas.

This may actually be the funniest holiday movie every created honestly. Billy Bob Thorton and Tony Cox are hilarious and may be one of the most fun and unlikely duo for its time. Once again Bernie Mac played his role to perfection. If somehow you missed this one, now is the time to watch it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About Christmas (2012)

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The other day i’m hanging out with my youngest, I call her baby savior because it makes me laugh, and I decide we need to watch a movie. Now she has probably seen more horror movies than most adults but I see the cat in the hat and know she needs to see this. The movie isn’t bad, its full of music and rhymes as you would expect.

The story itself is pretty much the usual. Reindeer gets lost, gotta get it home for Christmas. The Message is also the same as every other Christmas movie, love, giving, friendship. Come on, its a damn kids movie. Seriously tho, if you are an adult check it out for nostalgia reasons. If you have kids, watch it with them. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Christmas Project (2016)

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I really didn’t know what to expect with this movie, tho I did discover it is based off a couple of books by Matthew Buckley called “Bullies in the Headlights” and “Chicken in the Headlights”. So feel free to read those if you are of the books are always better than the movies opinion.

Anyway, the movie it self is a semi comedy semi feel good movie about a family that every December picks a local family to secretly give presents to. This year year however four brothers will end up with the worst job they can imagine. Their pregnant mother chooses the school bully. What follows is almost like a modern version of “A Christmas Story” in a way. ( tho not as good. don’t go watch this and expect an instant classic than come back here screaming at me) The story itself is almost a coming of age story for this family as new friends are made, love is found and a father and son relationship is built that will last a lifetime.

That is not to say it is all rainbows and blue birds. The movie has its ups and downs, its happy moments and its sad moments. But all in all if you are looking for a feel good Christmas movie to watch with your family, look no further. This one has everything you could want, including a life lesson from a war veteran bus driver. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

The Ref (1994)

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This movie is basically about the worst day a robber could have that didn’t involve the cops unloading 12 clips into your body. Dennis Leary as always plays himself playing a robber that trips and alarm. He then falls down a trap door and escapes as he gets bit by a huge dog.

He then holds up a woman, gets to her car to find that her and her husband are essentially always fighting about everything imaginable. Husband blows a stop sign and he lies about not seeing it just so he doesn’t have to say she was right, that is the level of fighting we talk about.

The movie is funny and hilariously well written. At no point in the movie was I not entertained, and while the story is very basic and you can see the ending coming a mile away most people won’t really mind. When the rest of the family shows up, the movie just gets better.

Christmas dinner being awkward has never been so much fun when it didn’t involve the Griswolds. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.