Category: Movie Review

Fant4stic

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Ah shit. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to be that guy that saw the redeeming quality in this flaming, apocalyptic train wreck wrapped in a dumpster fire. Sorry, I ain’t that guy today.

This iteration of Marvel’s first family goes more of the Ultimate Marvel approach, going with the Ultimate origin…kinda. Reed Richards is a young misunderstood genius who believes he can crack open another dimension to another world. Recruited to the Baxter Building, which is a government/military think tank by Dr. Storm, he’s paired with his adopted daughter, reckless son, and pain in the ass prodigy Victor Von Doom. Ugh. So they create the device but the military says thanks and takes it. In a drunken bit of brilliance Reed calls his BFF Ben and the for boys go dimension hopping while Sue plays lookout. Shit goes wrong. Victor falls into a green, volcanic crack; Johnny gets set on fire in his pod; Ben gets crushed by molten rocks; Sue gets flashed by excess energy; and Reed’s body gets really wrapped. Seriously, this shit is graphic. Well, our “heroes” change only now they really have no control and have to wear there super suits 24/7, except Thing who’s fucking nude and thank god ain’t got a boner in rock form. Reed runs and abandons them and for 20 minutes of run time the other three and the government are trying to track him down. Oh and Doom comes back…looking like a a rubber sex dummy coated in glow stick goo and wearing a trash bag poncho with more generic random ass powers than last time.

This movie is ass cheese. I can’t even say that as a Fantastic 4 fan. I liked the idea of making it a bit more grittier and and more dark sci-fi but this either went way too far overboard or just looks shitty. As a movie, the actors seem bored and disinterested, the pacing is garbage, the final act is rushed and pointless and there’s 4 times less action than the 2005 film. I’ve heard horror stories about the making of this movie and I’m glad the actors involved didn’t have there reputations scarred by this travesty of hero films and should be the moldy crap waffle dropped in cinema’s toilet. Friends don’t let friends Fant4stic.

Fantastic 4 (2005)

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If you’ve followed my work for a while, you know I love the Fantastic 4 and the idea of them in the MCU makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. If you want to know why, this movie may not really answer why.

Our story centers around five people who participated in a experiment with disastrous results. Reed Richards, a quiet, dorky nerd. Sue Storm, Reed’s hot ex girlfriend. Sue’s asshole brother Johnny. Reed’s best friend Ben Grimm. Then we have the incredibly rich current fiance of Sue, nemesis of Reed and totally obvious villain Victor Von Doom. During an experiment in space, they run afoul with a cosmic storm that essentially changes them. Reed can stretch; Sue can turn invisible and make forcefields; Johnny can fly, shoot fire and be hot; and Ben mutated into a giant, living rock. Seemingly, Victor seems untouched at first. The four quickly become celebrities after they are put into a scenario where they got to save people; Reed just wants to cure them. Tensions rise as celebrity keeps in, Ben gets labeled a outcast by his deformity, and the attention goes to Johnny’s head; behind the scenes Victor starts to change as well, but realizes he can be the ultimate power if the others were out of the way. Can the Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and The Thing unite to stop Dr. Doom?

As far as superhero movies go, as well as incarnations of these heroes have gone, this is just meh. Not great but not a crap shoot. The film captures the dysfunctional family aspect of the group fairly well. Best part of this movie hands down is Michael Chiklis as The Thing, he perfectly portrayed the pathos of the character but wasn’t overly brooding, but sold his sarcastic, light hearted side too- also he aced “It’s Clobberin Time!”. Lowest point of this is Dr. Doom. Doom went from one of Marvel’s most fascinating villains with a huge array of technology and magical abilities  to a bitchy rich pretty boy with generic superpowers. A huge flaw is that for a superhero flick, there seriously ain’t much to hit. There’s one fight at the end that lasts 5 minutes, a fly chase that lasts like 3, the bridge scene which is about 5, and you don’t see everyone in costume until the final fight. Besides that, comedy, stunts, and melodrama. The movie is forgettable but fine on netflix or shit bin. As always, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Let’s Be Cops

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We all have that one friend that just takes shit way to far. Mine growing up was named Mike, we called him Monkey. We used to do all kinds of stuff, some legal some not so much. But he would always take shit from being fun to dangerous or stupid.  Sadly he died a few years ago, and yes it was his habit of taking shit way to far that killed him.

This movie is basically that. One guy taking shit way to far.  One day when they mistakenly think they are attending a costume party they are mistaken for, well cops. This of course is fun. This of course leads to one buying an old cop car and making it look like a new cop car. And a police radio. And patrols. And answering calls.

This of course eventually goes horribly wrong. I mean how could being a fake cop go wrong? Yes there is also a woman involved, because what kind of story doesn’t have a love interest? The movie is both interesting and funny, by all means check this one out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Step Brothers (2008)

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When I first saw the previews for this my first thought was what the hell is this? Will Ferrell has finally gone and lost his damn mind. This movie is going to be the dumbest thing I have seen this year…I was so so wrong.

Two 40 year old men living at home acting like children, but still adults. One with his mother the other with his father. They meet at a medical conference fall in love, get married and move in together. That is about the time shit gets weird. How weird? Well check this out.

Yea the movie is a bit weird. The movie is also hilarious. It also has a really good story to it. Two people meet, fall in love, their kids hate each other, become best friends, and try to sort their lives out. Sure there are some twist and turns and plenty of laughs in between, but in a weird way I think its popularity is because we can all relate to parts of it. We have all felt like we lost a part of our childhood and wanted it back or we have all refused to let go of a part of our childhood.  The movie is certainly worth checking out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

My Cousin Vinny (1992)

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Another movie that most people consider a classic, and I am inclined to agree.  The story of two young men on a road trip in the wrong place at the wrong time down in Alabama. Not the normal Alabama by the way, backwoods corrupt everyone knows each other Alabama.

Enter  Joe Pesci, a New York lawyer looking to win his first case. The problem is he isn’t a very good lawyer. What will follow is a story of lies, mistakes, jail time and one hell of s wild ride where Marissa Tomei will do most of the work anyway all in name of finally getting married.

Admittedly this movie with anyone other than Joe Pesci and Marissa Tomei would not work. They just have an odd chemistry that made it work. The story while solid and a script that was fun was simply an average movie that was made memorable by two people that went above and beyond to make it amazing. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Mockingjay

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Happy Thanksgiving again, one and all from me and Savior. We come to the conclusion of the Hunger Games trilogy. Arguably Mockingjay ties with the first for my favorite of the series and it is one of my favorite conclusions in all of fiction. I tip my hat to you Suzanne Collins.

So Katniss is in a fucked up place after being decisively rescued at the end of Catching Fire. District 12 was burned to the ground; Peeta and a few of the surviving tributes were taken captive by the Capitol; she discovers District 13, which we are told was destroyed by the Capital during the last rebellion since book 1 still exists under the ruins and is trying to unite the other districts in full out war. Katniss is on the brink of sanity after 2 rounds of murder and mayhem, her and fellow survivor Finnick are trying to cope. Snow still finds to psychologically torment her. President Coin, head of 13, starts pushing Katniss to become the Mockingjay as others have started calling her, to be the poster child of rebellion. Katniss agrees if only to make things a lil less shitty for her and her family and to make rescuing Peeta and the others higher priority. Katniss is suited up in a fancy combat suit with a new high tech bow and is sent out to make connections with real people after failing hard at making TV promos. These trips, while damaging her further inside, are helpful. In a daring move, the other tributes are rescued, but all is not well. Peeta violently attacks Katniss and damn near kills her.  He’d been tortured and brainwashed. Everything comes together in a last ditch effort to finally capture Snow, but it turns out to be one last game…

Writing this review was hard for me because I want to get into spoilers but I want anyone who never saw the movies or read the books to pick them up and experience them as I did. I will say the ending is ballsy, especially for a YA book and I respect that much darker, realistic ending than some bullshit Hollywood happy ending. As for the movies, both were really done well but I prefer 1 over 2. Somehow the ending feels watered down to me on film than the book. Overall, it was a great end to a pretty great trilogy. I have a special friend who seemed interested in the series, so I’ll list them order below. Happy Thanksgiving and may the odds be ever in your favor

Hunger Games- Catching Fire- Mockingjay

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Thanksgiving Grindhouse trailer

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Happy Turkey Day one and all! So this is a weird ass thing, even for Saviorgaming, but I’m going to talk about a trailer for a movie that even real, but hot damn brought me so much enjoyment.

Some explanation is due first. So we had two amazing directors, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, come together in 2007 to bring us a double feature showing off there love for the old Grindhouse films. I had the privilege of seeing the whole thing in theaters and it was GLORIOUS! Well between films, we were treated to mock trailers directed by actual directors inspired by the sub-genre like Rodriguez, Rob Zombie, and in this particular case, Eli Roth (Cabin Fever and Hostel 1 and 2). Some like Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun did become actual movies in time.

So Thanksgiving is meant to be a slasher film in the spirit of Halloween or Black Christmas, and holy shit I wish this was a really movie. The film is grainy and raw like an old school 70’s horror movie. There is a creepy ass narrator. And I shit you not, the killer dresses up in a pilgrim suit and beheads  a turkey mascot with hedge clippers during the damn town parade. the final tag line is “This Thanksgiving everyone’s coming to dinner…in a bodybag!” I love this trailer as much as I love the Grindhouse. The trailer made me laugh and was just gross and insane and awesome, so I implore all you horror fans to check it out on Youtube if you never seen it. Best wishes, and I will return later to cover Mockingjay.

The Patriot (2000)

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The Patriot is a movie about a family during the Revolutionary war. No stranger to war the father and head of the family Benjamin Martin really wants nothing to do with the war. Like many soldiers he has seen what it brings, the death and suffering and the many other hardships. This however causes some strife with his sons and many of the locals as his history is known and many view the British unfavorably.

During a very powerful scene this is actually shown as Ben votes against war with the British and then refuses to serve, as you will learn so do many of the people that favor the war itself.

So let us move on shall we? As we all know if he isn’t forced into this fight we don’t have a movie, and these bloody redcoats want his farm. Turns out Ben may set the standard for not to be messed with, but in case you haven’t seen the movie I will let you see for yourself. What follows is a tale of love and loss, strategy and betrayal and so much more.

This is however a period piece, and for people with no interest in history or just a general disinterest in that period much of the joy in this movie will be lost on you. This is a classic example of some will love this movie and others will quickly lose interest. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Due Date (2010)

Oh Due Date. This movie should in theory not be good. Its the odd couple on a road trip. And yet here we are. A great comedy that never fails to entertain. Honesty I think if this were any two other actors it would not have worked.

Essentially two men, one a complete idiot with no life experience that wants to be an actor and is obsessed with the show 2 and a half men and a business man obsessed with finding the perfect name for his soon to be born kid get kicked off an air plane and due to circumstances beyond their control are forced to carpool together back to the city of angels.

What follows is a story of masturbating dogs, car accidents, a prison break from border patrol and a plethora of other messed up situations that lead to comedy gold. There are plenty of twist and turns along the way and after 7 years I still hope to see these two in another movie together. They just seemed to go together. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Catching Fire

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Catching Fire is the second story of the Hunger Games trilogy, for which I’m covering Mockingjay on Thanksgiving. So to get us in the mood, let’s get into the book and movie.

Picking up almost a year after Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark won the 74th Hunger Games, the pair is about to set off on there victory tour, still pretending for the cameras they are madly in love. Unfortunately, President Snow is not convinced. He shows up to Katniss’s house, telling her that there stunt at the end of the games triggered problems in the other Districts, unrest was beginning and the people were rebelling. If she wants to bring peace, he tells her they’d better act more in love so the public would think they were just lovesick teens and weren’t trying to spit in the Capitol’s face. As hard as they try though, the other Districts are already riled up. The fire is catching. As the 75th Hunger Games approaches, the third quarter quarrel, snow delivers the special rule of this special game: the tributes would be limited to the past champions of games past. Being the only female winner from District 12, Katniss is selected by default. This time it’s Katniss and Peeta against the old champions, being forced into uneasy alliances to survive a game Snow will make damn sure they can’t win…

Both book and movie are really good sequel; the movie was a major improvement over the first. The book is a bit slow at first but racks up tension really well, leading to a epic oh shit ending. My favorite part of the book are the backstories of the other tributes. As for the movie, the acting and action improved a lot as well as the special effects. This time they add some humor to it but it surprisingly works well and well placed. In the end I think the book and movie are definitely worth checking out. Best wishes and may the odds be ever in your favor