Movie Review – Page 11 – Savior Gaming

The Snowman

I have returned dear readers with glorious purpose and such horrors to speak of. Let me begin with a movie I was actually pretty interested in back in 2017, so much so I ran out and bought the book and was genuinely perplexed when the movie’s reviews came back as scathingly bad. But how? Michael Fassbender as a gritty detective searching for a sadistic killer who buries his victims in snowmen, how could this possibly go wrong?

Harry Hole is a broken man. While a talented detective, he struggles with alcoholism, depression, and his estranged wife and son. When a series of people mysteriously vanish and their bodies turn up strangely, it’s up to Hole to dive into a strange world of corruption and broken hearts to discover the truth behind the Snowman killer.

Ok, so they wanted to make Seven but instead they made an absolute mess. I truly regret complaining about the editing in X-Men: Dark Phoenix because this movie is a dumpster fire turned nuclear by the editing. It’s a jumbled mess of things happening, characters appearing with plot threads that go nowhere and I feel like there is a megacut somewhere that’s probably like 4 hours long but this movie isn’t worth saving. Poor Fassbender tries his ass off to save this movie but Harry Hole is such a trainwreck I can’t really take the guy seriously (his name sure as hell doesn’t help either.). I pegged the killer super early and when the mess of a story comes together, it’s meh. This movie isn’t gory or disturbing, it’s a not really a good noir, and holy shit drags. The only really redeeming feature I can really say is some of the cinematography is nice, not great but nice. The only other thing I can say is I laughed my ass off alot because of how unintentionally hilarious the movie is- so there is that. In the end, unless you are like Savior and I and enjoy super bad movies, I can’t recommend this movie at all. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Obi-Wan Kenobi teaser trailer

So I got to say, of all the Star Wars stuff coming out, this is what piqued my interest. Mainly it comes down to Ewan McGregor returning as Obi-wan but I’m glad to see the darker tone. I’m kinda excited o see the Inquisitors in live action, though the makeup on the Grand Inquisitor looks iffy to me. This one I’m pretty pumped for and either way, I know it’ll be good to have Ewan McGregor back. May the Force be with us all.

The Batman Joker deleted scene

So I got to say as I’m sure many of us are, but I’m tired of Batman and Joker stories. When I heard there was 0 Joker in The Batman I was pretty glad. That being said, I love this scene. I’m not really familiar with Barry Keoghan’s work but holy shit I love his portrayal as Joker; him and Pattinson have great chemistry in this scene and I like the Hannibal Lector callback. His design is very unsettling, and I love how degraded and ghoulish he looks. I hope we get some more of the duo in future films. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

King of Thorns

King of Thorn: The Movie [Blu-ray] [2010] - Best Buy

A bizarre plague has swelled to pandemic level heights in such a short time. The plague is nicknamed Medusa because once contracted, the victim inevitably turns gray and crumbles like stone. As part of a highly experimental test, 160 people diagnosed with the disease are cryogenically frozen at random under the watch of a hyper-intelligent AI named Alice to study and hopefully find a cure. Kasumi, heartbroken to be separated from her twin sister, both infected, awakens with the others into utter insanity. The labyrinth of labs have been taken over by cruel, sharp thorned vines and hideous beasts have overtaken the facility. After most of the sleepers are slaughtered, only a handful of survivors are left to try escaping the murderous catacombs of vines that have a sinister will of their own and discover the truth.

So a funny little anecdote, I literally judged a book by its cover here. The cover made me honestly want to watch it and honestly I was glad I took the chance. The movie is far from perfect and if you are paying attention, the twists aren’t too much of a shock but there is a lot to love about this movie. First, the animation is beautiful and extremely well balanced between darkness, cramped spaces, and bright dreamy colors. I love how the movie juggles psychological drama, dark sci-fi, fairy tale fantasy, and horror all in one package with plenty of action to keep the pace going. The movie runs smooth mostly but one of my biggest problems is the story can get confusing if you aren’t paying attention. Certain aspects of the story at the end seemed a bit over-the-top and goofy and I feel like I may have missed something somewhere to put it all together. In the end, I really enjoyed this movie and would recommend checking it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Game

Nicholas Van Orten is a rich, cold-hearted high investment banker. He lives a solitary life devoid of any real joy or friendship. His estranged brother Conrad, almost Nick’s exact opposite, comes to him on a special birth- when Nick turns the age their father did when he killed himself. His gift is a certificate to participate in a mysterious Game from an even more mysterious recreational company. Thinking nothing of it, he signs up, going through a long and annoying series of tests. Overnight Nick finds his world crumble before him as lies pile on top of lies and no one seems to be out of bounds to the Game, leading to the banker to the reaches of his very psyche…

Man, David Fincher is a powerhouse. The entire movie feels tight and claustrophobic and is both shot and filmed beautifully. Michael Douglas does damn good in the role of Van Orten and goes through a huge character arc by the end. To the screenwriters’s credit, I really was guessing what the hell was going on all the way to the very end and was fine with the WTF ending. My only real issue is the pacing of the movie drags at places and it’s a serious slow burn that while I think is worth it, may turn some off. In the end, I recommend this as a good psychological thriller worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) trailer

When the hell will Hollywood learn to leave well enough alone? As a general horror movie, it looks ok but I got way too many Halloween (2018) vibes from the trailer, actually when the plot seemed revealed it seemed like a copy/paste job if you ask me. I wasn’t expecting much but I really wish we’d leave that poor family alone. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness trailer 1

Staying all the way to the end of Spider-man: No Way Home was well worth the wait for the first look at the Master of the Mystic Art’s return. As to be expected it looks beautiful and I’m happy to see Wanda and Mordo’s return; Scarlet Witch’s new outfit looks badass and I’m glad they finally gave her a real costume. I’ve seriously been waiting for this movie and I’m ultra pumped for it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Batman trailer 3

Ok, I know I’m a bit to later on this trailer but holy shit I’m excited for this movie. I love the way Pattinson carries himself so far as the Dark Knight, and I really like what I’ve seen of Riddler and Catwoman so far as well. Visually I love the style and I’m glad it’s coming soon. May the gaming god bring you glory.

X trailer 1

I always have to give it to A24, they always manage to find a way to spark my curiosity. My first thought was this looks like Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets a cheesy 70’s porno. This movie’s trailer is pretty much the first thing I’ve seen for the year 2022 that made me kind of excited. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Spider-man: No Way Home

Peter Parker has come a long way in the MCU, hasn’t he? Becoming an Avenger, beating Vulture in Spider-man: Homecoming as well as Mysterio in Spider-man: Far From Home ; well now the world knows after Mysterio reveals not only Parker’s secret identity but also frames him for his death. Suddenly the young wallcrawler’s life is not only in shambles but also the lives of May, Happy, Ned and MJ. Desperate he visits Dr. Strange for a favor but unbeknownst to both heroes, Parker made a grave mistake that rippled across worlds, bringing 5 villains from multiple dimensions into his world, each with a bone to pick: Doc Ock, Sandman, Lizard, Electro, and the Green Goblin. If dealing with 5 enemies and a crumbled reality isn’t enough, Peter learns they all will perish fighting Spider-man in their own universes; can Peter pay the ultimate price for the greater good and how far will he go to save a life?

Ok, I’m not going to spoil anything but I’m not going to sugarcoat it: No Way Home is fucking amazing (pun intended). Not only does this movie give a damn powerful conclusion to the Home trilogy but to Spider-man in general by contunining stories left off by Mcguire and Garfield’s timelines as well. There is plenty of fan service and you can tell this movie is hardcore for Spidey fans; seeing the classics return was not only rewarding but also a huge threat seeing them interact and face a younger Spider-man. This is Tom Holland’s best portrayal as Spider-man hands down and I loved seeing a story with him and Strange butting heads and playing off each other. The acting all around is great but Holland and Dafoe steal the show; Goblin is still a legend almost 20 years later. Admittedly tears were shed and this is a very heartwrenching movie but it completely pays off. Honestly, I recommend this movie not only to superhero fans but especially Spidey fans in general; you will cheer. May the gaming gods bring you glory.