Emoji Movie (2017)

download (2)

So the other day I am sitting at home the other day and @torstenvblog shoots me a message and says “Hey the worst movie of 2017 hit Netflix you want to cover it or should I?” So I asked him which one he meant and he replies “Emoji movie” The problem is this was about 3 hours after I had already watched the movie. He also seemed very upset when I said I didn’t think the movie was as bad as people said. In his words, “I wanted a real fucking dumpster fire” anyway on to the review.

This movie got OBLITERATED in many reviews. A lot of people hated this movie, hell you can look up many reviews and read them. But if you go to Rotten Tomatoes or even metacritc you can see an underlining thread to many many MANY of the reviews. A lot of the reviews seem to be quite pissed off that this is a movie made to be watched by a child with its parent. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying the movie is great or even perfect or even great.

The story is about a meh emoji that lives inside of a smart phone that has many emotions and because of this the original emoji, smiley, decides to have the anti virus erase it to save them all from being deleted when Alex factory resets his phone. Gene, the meh emji then goes on a trip to get into the cloud so he can be hacked to get rid of his other emotions. The story is just a kind of cute story about being true to yourself and simply being who you are.

As I said the movie and story aren’t perfect, in fact most adults will in fact hate the movie. However it actually isn’t badly done, it is just meant for kids. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)

cfp

After watching the Super Bowl and recovering from celebrating the Eagles winning I decided to check this movie out. I will say this, its a fun watch. Don’t think about it. At all. Don’t think about the science involved, because the writers did not. Don’t think overly much about the plot to much either, it won’t be hard to find holes. Just accept it for what it is. Also do not expect this to be some scary horror movie, its pretty much a comedy with a couple semi creepy bits.

With all that out of the way, the movie is still pretty fun to watch. After being sent up on a space station to fire a sort of high powered particle accelerator into space in order to get an unlimited supply of energy ( don’t think about this) they end up in an alternate dimension and discover an Earth during a massive war ( again don’t think about this).

The movie is a fun little Netflix exclusive, but if it were released in theaters I am pretty sure it would have bombed to be honest. As it is, grab a snack and enjoy it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Meet the Blacks (2016)

download (5)

This is one of those movies you will either love or hate. Its not quite a spoof movie, but it isn’t quite its own thing. See the Blacks ( that is the families last name) move to a rich gated community from Chicago, on the night of the purge.

The movie it self has a fun premise, take a family that doesn’t fit into the neighborhood, add a night of lawless fun and see what happens. Making it a comedy, that was a twist that could have gone either way and honestly for me it worked. That being said much of the humor relies on racial stereotype jokes, such as bills not being paid or all white people are racist and don’t black people living in their neighborhood. Tho the reason this works is because people recognize these things and like all good comedy people recognize that ridiculous it is when people actually fit that stereotype.

All in all this movie is not for everyone, and many people simply won’t find it funny. If you enjoyed the Friday movies you will probably like this. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Good Catholic (2017)

download (2)

The Good Catholic is the story about a young priest in training working hard at two things, being a man of god, and being a great runner. Than one day this man of gods takes the confession of a girl and both of their lives start to change, possibly forever in this romantic comedy. Through out the movie he will deal with various things, from sermons, the death of his father even discovering that the clergy do need interest besides god.

The problem is The Good Catholic never really becomes that good of a movie. Outside of John McGinley (doctor Cox from Scrubs) the movie is never actually funny, and the movie isn’t even all that much of a romance movie. The main character isn’t even good. Not the actor by the way, the character himself is just dull. I am sure some people will enjoy this, but if you are looking for a good laugh or love story there are far better movies out there. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Space Balls (1987)

download

There isn’t much to say about space balls, its a classic Mel Brooks movie. It is goofy, funny, blatantly mocks and parodys another more famous movie while slightly making fun of things in society. You also probably saw it as a kid and didn’t truly understand many of the jokes until you watch it again as an adult. One example that I always remember is when the are combing the desert with actual combs. As a kid I always laugh because obviously this isn’t what they meant. I never picked up on the not so subtle racial joke of the 2 black guys yelling “we ain’t found shit” while using a hair pick instead of the long hair comb you always see white greasers using in the 50’s.

The movie however is amazing, and like always never takes itself serious. It tells the story of Lone Star saving a princess while Lord Helmet and the evil empire tries to use her as ransom to steal air. Yes, air. Anyway any fan of the comedy genre need to see this one, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Caddyshack (1980)

caddyshack

Oh caddyshack, you beautiful classic bastard. Its hard to believe this movie is going on 38 years old. The late Rodney Dangerfield is hilarious playing a brash new member of a very exclusive golf club as a very young Bill Murray plays an obsessed grounds keeper just trying to kill a gopher, and directed by the late great Harold Ramis, so at least he has that going for him. This movie is one of those classic 80’s movies that people today still quote and look at as an all time great and with good reason. People just loved this movie from the very beginning. Even today sitting down to watch it just brings a smile to my face. Any movie fan needs to watch this movie, even if its just for the history. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sharknado 5 (2017)

images

Oh Sharknado. I am pretty sure people mostly watch these movies to see how far off the deep end of what the fuck did I just watch they can go, and Sharknado 5 goes even further off that deep end than ever before. I am talking hit a rock star with a bus so he plays some metal while driving down the road then kills a shark with his guitar style off the deep end. The movie is goofy and silly as hell, just like the last 4. The dialogue is corny, the visuals are pretty much as B movie as they can possibly get. And if you enjoyed the last 4 you will like this one, if you didn’t, this will not change that at all. In fact this one may actually make some fans shy away from continuing the series, and I do mean continuing since the ending pretty much promised a part 6.

However I did enjoy the movie for what it was, and I will watch the next one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

License to Wed (2007)

download (1)

License to Wed is the sweet story of how a couple met, fell in love and decided to get married. Then a possibly deranged and crazy but possibly genius minister played by the late great Robin Williams. The story starts off much like any comedic love story, boy meets girl, boy falls in love, boy proposes. They then go to girls church she frequented growing up to get her favorite and most loved religious adviser not named Savior to unite them in holy matrimony.

This is around the time Mr. Williams as the minister turns out to be possibly bat shit crazy with a game show similar to Family Fued going on with the 10 commandments and children with plans to take them in the park the next day to learn about the sins of gambling. He then informs them all to bring a dollar and ask their parents what a trifecta is. For those that don’t gamble a trifecta is a term for when a gambler places a wager on their ability to pick the placement of the first 3 positions of a race for example.

Anyway that aside they decide between being wed in 3 weeks or 2 years, and the race is on to finish a multi month course in 3 weeks. This will include counseling sessions, both group and one on one, a random visit for the minister to talk about sex, them not being allowed to have sex and driving a car blindfolded. The movie is great and a lot of fun and any comedy fan should check it out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hot Rod (2007)

download

Hot Rod is the story of a wannabe stunt man following the path of his father, a father that died during a tragic stunt. Rod Kimble lives at home with mom, step dad and half brother. His half brother his part of his team that helps him set up his stunts. His step dad beats him during sparing matches where Rod attempts to prove he really is a man, and his stunts are basically the joke of the town. But can he change all this when his step dad needs an expensive surgery to save his life, and so he can finally be a man that beats up his step dad?

Don’t go into this movie expecting some great movie with amazing special effects, or even great acting. The effects and music seem to come straight out of the 80’s, hell so does most of the acting. And what would you really expect from Andy Samburg and Danny McBride? The movie tho is amazing, its funny, its goofy and it actually has a pretty great story to it. The ending is also not what you would expect.

As always I won’t spoil much more for you, but the ending was pretty refreshing. Best wises and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Next Karate Kid (1994)

download (4)

The Next Karate Kid is the 4th and last of the original movies and the only one not to star Ralph Maccio. Mr Miyagi at a commemoration for WW2 soldiers Mr. Miyagi meets the widow of an old officer and gets to know her granddaughter.

The movie sounds good, but really it is just the story of an angry girl Mr. Miyagi tries to teach karate in order to help her deal with the loss of her parents. This in itself would be fine but many of the jokes in the movie are essentially about how he has no experience with girls and their problems. This isn’t on either actor, both Pat and Hillary Swank play their parts very well. I think the biggest issue was the movie was written with no real sense of direction. It has its moments and I don’t agree the movie is horrible, but it is the worst in the series. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.