Shazam!-2019 (Savior)

Everyone is going to give you a big long post about How Shazam is really Captain Marvel. It is a long story that is only interesting to uber-nerds and fans of the legal system. So long story short, long before Marvel existed Shazam was Captain Marvel, DC sued the creator, eventually, DC ended up with the trademark for the story of Captain Marvel (Shazam) and Marvel copyrighted the name Captain Marvel for their character. Around 2012 DC changed the name to Shazam became most people that was his name anyway.

Anyway, as for the movie. It is an origin story for Shazam and how Billy Batson got his powers. In his case, he got them from a wizard in need of a champion before his powers were gone to fight the seven deadly sins that escaped when Dr. Thaddeus received their powers when he was pissed The Wizard decided he wasn’t worthy years earlier.

The movie looks pretty good, is well acted and is quite funny. Watching Billy and his brother Freddy figure out his powers is great and happily, the best parts aren’t given away in the previews. There is even a nice cameo from another DC hero.

I also enjoyed the fact that they know the type of character they have, and the history he has with DC and embraced it. I don’t want to spoil it, but it was a pleasant surprise. I do have a couple complaints tho. First, there were a couple spots that the CGI looked a bit cheap compared to the rest of the movie, most notably with the seven deadly sins. My biggest issue is the movie is over 2 hours long and it feels about 30 minutes longer than it needed to be. The ending just dragged for me and it isn’t that I didn’t enjoy it because the ending was good, it just felt like the dragged it on longer than it needed to be just to make the movie longer. It was, however, one of the best DC movies I have seen. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pet Sematary, 2019 (Savior)

So I feel I should tell you, I am probably going to make some statements that some may feel are a bit controversial. Some may agree, some may not. Feel free to berate me in the comments.

First, let me say this. The 2019 version of Pet Sematary is better than the 1989 version. Second, the 1989 version wasn’t all that good anyway. Third, how did I not realize the movie was spelled with an S?

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That really isn’t important, just weird I never noticed. On to the review. If you are reading this, I am sure you read the book or saw the original. In the grand scheme of things, the story hasn’t changed. Doctor Louis moves with his family to the country to slow down and spend more time with the family. His wife, Rachel as a troubled past that will come and go throughout the movie and then the kids Ellie and Gage try their best to adjust to the new life. Gage is young and his one job most of the movie and that is to be cute, and Hugo and Lucas (Yes twins) Lavoie do the job amazingly. Ellie (Jete Lawerence) also does a commendable job and plays her role very well tho I feel John Lithgow steals the show with his role as Jud.

As the movie goes on their cat, Church (sorry guys, no name here, Church was played by multiple cats) dies and Jud introduces Louis to what is beyond the place the locals bury their animals. To a place where the dead doesn’t stay dead. The cat comes back as we all know, but Church isn’t what he used to be. The friendly cat is hissing and scratching and bringing home dead animals and even stops Louis from getting some man and wife time with Rachel. The cat is truly evil.

Now I don’t want to go any further in the story as there are some changes, and you will be happy to know it has been reported a few places that the man Stephen King himself approved of the changes. I enjoyed the changes personally tho I do have to admit while the movie was good enough (but not great) it isn’t a very good book to movie adaptation. It was, however, a good movie. If you are looking for an accurate to the book experience you are not going to get it. If you are looking to simply be entertained, this is worth a watch. Tho before I go, anyone that has seen the movie can you answer a question for me and @torstenvblog? How the hell did they get the cow to the burial place? Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

Did you ever watch a movie that makes you think, what the hell did I just watch? Then you have to stop and realize the movie you just watched or the game you just played was by no means good, well planned or even well done? Then realize for some reason you can’t explain, you greatly enjoy it? That is Wet Hot American Summer. That is also the beauty of the movie. The movie is just dumb, but it is meant to be. The further the movie goes the more ridiculous it gets. There is a Vietnam vet cook that starts out as kind of the crazed cook and by the end he is talking to a can of vegetables, dry humping a can of vegetables. By the way here is who you should imagine doing that.giphy.gif

Yep, that is Chris Meloni dry humping a refrigerator. That is also the level of WTF we are dealing with. Also not even the weirdest part of the movie. It is almost like they wanted to make the most 80’s movie possible. The movie also takes place in one day, the last day of camp. There honestly isn’t even much of a true story, it is just a bunch of people trying to enjoy the last day of camp, mostly trying to get laid. there are about a dozen mini stories going on including one counselor trying to get a kid to take a shower, which he hasn’t done all summer. The movie is just all kinda strange. Tho I do say go give it a watch, it is entertaining. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Witch Files (2018)

The Witch Files is a movie about as you can guess, witches. When a group of five young women, all of which are pretty unhappy meet in detention, Jules shows them her that being a witch has some perks. After using her powers to get them out of detention, Jules has them all meet up at the local park where the town allegedly killed a bunch of witches years ago where they form a new coven.

Throughout the movie, they will find they can do all sorts of things, like levitating a book, convince people they already paid for things when they didn’t and even get one of their moms to quit drinking. They, of course, will discover this has a price, and they all start to suffer some physical ailments, like degrading vision or loss of hearing since as we have learned from so many movies, video games and anime in the past, you can’t get anything for free from magic.

There are also the other cliches, such as one of them betraying the group, someone being old as hell and all that other stuff. Nothing in this movie is new or innovative or even done in a new way. It is all done pretty well tho, the acting is great and the script is pretty good, the special effects are done nicely for what is clearly not a AAA movie. The movie isn’t great, but it is certainly good enough. If you like movies about witches, there is no reason not to check this one out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Haunting On Fraternity Row (2018)

Every so often I come across a movie that just hits the trifecta of a bad movie. The story is bad, the script is bad and even the twist ending felt thrown together and needless. The story is pretty standard horror fare. A college fraternity has its biggest party of the year and a demon is accidentally released. How was it released in this movie? Well, a pledge drops a keg of beer, it falls down the stairs into the basement and smashes a hole in the wall. I don’t really know how this released the demon, it seems to have knocked over a cup the demon was locked in somehow.

The script was also horrible, to the point the guy trying to figure out what was going on, whom I stoned the entire movie so nobody believes him, did not know what a hospice was and even after looking it up, still did not know what the hell it even was.  The rest of the movie is just as bad, most of the movie is full of equally as bad logic or crumby lines.  The movie takes forever to get to the point as well. You will spend the vast majority of it just watching them get ready for a party and just talking.

Once the party starts it is also mostly just them talking and drinking, the occasional topless scene and dancing and booze. When the big reveal finally happens there really is nothing scary, and the demon mostly just spends its time cockblocking everyone and occasionally ripping out someone’s eyes. This will slowly escalate until it just kills everyone at the party since it gets stronger as it eats peoples eyes.

The ending is a twist you honestly won’t see coming, and it makes pretty much no sense at all but at this point, you will just be grateful the movie is over. It is very rare I have nothing good to really say about a movie or truly regret watching it, but this is one of those times. Don’t waste your time on this one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jimmy Carr The Best Of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits World Tour (2019)

Oh Jimmy Carr, your dry British offensive humor. Seriously if you are easily offended, do not watch this. There are jokes about pedophiles, hookers, religion and a whole host of other things. The show runs for about an hour and is quite funny as usual. The biggest issue is not everyone will appreciate his brand of humor because it is quite offensive and he does have very dry humor that is mostly just him standing around delivering one-liners.  I do suggest you check him out tho, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Stephen King’s Silver Bullet (1985)

Based on the Stephen King book Cycle of the Werewolf and I am actually going to do something I have never done before. I am going to agree with and even link a review from over 30 years ago by Roger Ebert. Now for those that don’t want to read his review, he starts out by saying this is either the worst movie made from a Stephen King story or the funniest. Now please note he wrote that in 1985 when the movie first came out and a lot has changed since then but the spirit of his review is true. This movie is either intentionally funny or it is horribly made and truthfully I think they made it funny on purpose.

The movie itself is typical King fanfare. A small American town faces some sort of danger and is terrorized by it until a small group comes along and discovers the truth, this time it is a werewolf. You can honestly probably guess who the werewolf is 15 minutes into the movie, who the hero will be and all the other stuff. It is a very 1980’s movie after all, and I don’t mean that as a complaint. Truthfully I think if you like his other books or movies you will enjoy this, same goes for horror movies in general. It is far from a great movie, but it is, in fact, an enjoyable one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our Idiot Brother (2011)

This movie was odd. See Ned is an idiot. Seriously he sells weed to a uniformed cop. You may say hey Savior, be cool to the guy with a mental handicap but no, he doesn’t have one. The guy is just an idiot and believes the best in everyone. So when the cop just says hey it has been a rough week he believes him and ends up in jail.

This will send him to jail for a few months and eventually parole and living with his mom, then he will bounce around with his sisters while he systematically messes up their lives while he tries to collect money doing odd jobs so he can rent out an old goat shed on a farm where his ex-girlfriend lives, basically so he can get his dog, Willie Nelson, back.

The movie filled an odd niche for me, it was an ice family drama but at the same time had some funny moments. I am also a pretty big fan of Paul Rudd and Elizabeth Banks so that helps. I wouldn’t by any means call this a great movie. There was quite a bit of downtime for example. It wasn’t wasted time tho, the movie tells a good story and I never felt like I was waiting for things to happen even when it was slow. For fans of that style of movie, this one is a good one, even a joy to watch. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)

Another Return of the Living Dead movie and another movie that technically isn’t good. It also actually comes before Return of The Living Dead: Rave To The Grave, it has many of the same characters and even ends with the barrels from Rave to The Grave coming into play. It also is one of those movies that is fun but isn’t good which is kind of a staple of the series. This one is no exception, at all. It is so stereotypical it is hardly worth mentioning the story, which honestly I will give you the smallest glimpse and just tell you to fill in the gas with stereotypes. Basically, a high school student lost his parents about a year ago and now lives with his uncle that works for the company that stopped the last zombie outbreak. This student and his friends discover this and attempt to rescue a friend. You fill in the gaps.

The movie is fun tho. The corny acting isn’t too corny, but it is just corny enough to be entertaining. There are a few solid jokes and oddly, they managed to be entertaining without stooping to needless nudity. Granted as a guy, I would have enjoyed that but from a reviewer standpoint, it was great to see a movie not resort to such things and try to be good on its own merit. I am a bit sad it mostly failed, but hey kudos for trying.

One of my biggest issues is how totally inconsistent the movie was. To start, shoot the zombies in the head. All good right? Sadly it isn’t long until they down about 20 zombies with one or two shots to the chest with a handgun. If that was not bad enough, they get into actual fist fights with the zombies and kill them that way. This isn’t getting into the fact that some of the zombies can talk and others can’t and two even look like the Borg from Star Trek.

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Seriously, I can’t be the only one that sees it right? All that being said, I had fun watching it. I didn’t see it and instantly regret watching it and I think a big part of that was the movie didn’t take itself seriously, it knows what it is and didn’t try to be more. So give it a shot, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)

Every so often I watch a movie that makes me think for the love of god give me the last 90 minutes of my life back. Other times I see one so good I think why the hell did that have to end. This is absolutely one of those times. It won’t take you long to figure out which this is.

The story is pretty straight forward. Curt finds out his dad and the government is doing experiments that bring the dead back to life. After a fight with his dad, Colonel Reynolds, so Curt and his girlfriend Julie ride away on his bike. Because she is an idiot she waves around a bunch they swerve into the wrong lane almost get hit by a truck and slam into a pole killing Julie. Sort of. See Curt in his infinite wisdom sneaks into a government lab to bring his girlfriend back. Yea, this goes well right?

So during his quest for necrophilia, they release more zombies and he runs away with Julie. From here it is a pretty boring run from the government for Curt and Julie turns more and more Zombie as she bites a few people and unknowingly spreads the zombie virus. The movie isn’t good and unlike most movies in the Return of the Living Dead series, this one isn’t all that funny. I will actually go so far as to say this is my least favorite in the entire series and tomorrow I am going to actually make fun of another movie in the series and I have already covered Return of The Living Dead: Rave To The Grave which I openly sad wasn’t a good movie, but at least it was fun. This one was not. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.