Movie Review – Page 44 – Savior Gaming

Sharknado 4

Sharknado 4 set a new standard for ridiculous and corny B movie. Any regular reader of the blog know how much I love a good B style movie and this is no exception. The visuals are solid but corny and blatantly intentionally off. The story involves someone coming back from the dead as a cyborg 5 years after the last movie an now has a damn light saber that comes out of her arm where her severed hand used to be. Also in an even more and bizarrely nonsensical twist the Sharknados are now catching on fire or are full of rocks which the sharks also take aspects of their appearance in, for example the sharks in the sharknado have rocks bulging out of them.

This another great example of a movie series that is meant for a very specific audience and most people will simply sit there asking themselves wtf did I watch. For the rest of us, enjoy, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sharknado 3

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It seems like each and every Sharknado movie gets more and more ridiculous. This one starts out with Fin Shepard saving the President ( this movie is full of cameos. From Bill Engvall to Chris Jericho and many others in between. They even recreate that famous flag raising photo from Iwo Jima.

I have said this in previous reviews and I will say this again, SyFy has without a doubt mastered the B movie genre. The Sharknado movies are not what anyone would consider a “good” or “well made” movie. But they are fun.

Another fun part if the movie for example is when a sharknado hits the Daytona 500. Cars wrecking everywhere huge explosion and a plane crash into a river. Now i’m not why this was important or why it was done. But after the crash Ian Ziering and Cassie Scerbo exist the water and slow motion. Ian is surprising ripped for his age and Cassie is basically in lingerie and by the gaming gods she has a body that won’t quit.

All that being what it is any fan of the old school B movie will absolutely adore these movies. Many people however will probably hate it. As always may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

First i’m going to say, I did prefer the book. With that out of the way this movie is harmless…well mostly harmless. The movie starts off by introducing you to what is pretty much the main character Arthur who just never got the hang of Thursdays. His house is about to be bulldozed and he is laying in front of it to prevent this and the construction of a highway system. Around this time his friend Ford rushes up with a shopping cart full of beer and peanuts for what I can only assume was what he wanted to bring off Earth with him. He then bribes the crew to wait awhile before demolishing Arthur’s house. Coincidentally Ford was there to pick up Arthur and catch a ride off Earth before a fleet of construction ships destroy the Earth to build am intergalactic space highway.

This is much of what goes on in the movie. Seemingly weird and random things to create a humorous and interesting narrative. I would definitely suggest checking out the movie or even the book if you like comedy, and even more if you want to see Snape ( Allen Rickman) play a clinically depressed robot. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Amityville Horror (2005)

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Hey who wants to go back in time and watch Ryan Reynolds play a complete psycho and possibly murder his family? Did you say yes to that question? Than skip this review and just go watch the movie. Still on the fence? Keep reading.

There have been many iterations of the Amityville Horror with varying degrees of accuracy to the actual events. If you want to research the real story feel free, but its pretty boring and has very little in common with the movies. With that being said lets move on.

The special effects are pretty well done as is everything else you would want in a movie. By now we all know the story pretty well, family moves into house, shit starts getting weird, little girl gets an imaginary friend, things slowly get worse, wife realizes something lives in the house. Dad tries to murder everyone. However the real star of this movie and what truly makes this movie from typical demonic presence in a house movie into the realm of classic is Ryan Reynolds. From the onset he plays his usual self. a Fun loving guy that cracks jokes, and slowly descends into madness. And he does it amazingly well. Little things like simply being a bit snippy with the wife, and moves on towards insomnia. But at each stage he never truly lets go of the last, His performance was far beyond what I expected. As always, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Little Evil

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Little Evil is a horror comedy new to Netflix that admittedly I watched for two reasons, 1. Adam Scott is hilarious. 2. step dads being abused by children is funny. This movie did not disappoint me at all. The movie starts with the step dad being legit buried alive. We then go back a week to see how we got here. The acting is top notch, and has a few cameos I won’t spoil. As the movie moves on it takes an odd but fun turn. For example in retaliation for burying him alive step dad fills the kids floaties with sand and sends him down a water slide because hey, the kid is literally the Antichrist. There is much more to the movie but I really don’t want to spoil such a great experience.

Comedy horror movies are usually pretty bad but this one gets my full recommendation for all comedy or horror fans. It pretty much has everything you would want with the exception of a standard horror movie sex scene but honestly its not even needed. Go give it a shot, an may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Within (2016)

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I watched this movie as a sort of joke. The idea sounded so basic I figured I would watch this have some laughs at the bad movie, come on here bash it a bit and move on.

Here is the very basic plot. A man moves his daughter and new wife to a new place for a job and away from the daughters sorted teenage past. The family soon finds out about some murders and strange disappearances in the home and odd things start happening. See pretty basic. The acting is nice, the script solid and the visuals and sound are well done. While I admit my purpose was to insult this movie I can’t. Its not perfect, and the start is pretty slow and at times seemingly without purpose. Tho with those complaints aside, the movie was still solid enough to be worth watching and the ending was one of those rare things I did not see coming. That alone was worth the time to me. So get out there and give it a watch, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Beast of Xmoor

This the the story of 3 people hunting a rare large cat in Europe. Georgia is for lack of a better way to describe her a sort of journalist of rare animals while her boyfriend Matt is a camera man. Georgia receives a a call from an old friend she met in a bar named Fox, a hunter and tracker of creatures and has helped Georgia in the past find creatures thought not to exist.

This particular hunt however takes an odd turn. The creature they are hunting isn’t a large cat after all, but what Fox believes to be a serial killer. The movie itself has some odd yet fun twist and turns while the characters may be a little one dimensional at times they are still interesting enough to get the job done.

My only real complaint is that the movie takes place mostly in the woods at night which is fine, but many of the scenes are so dark they are at times painful to watch. That aside it was a pretty fun movie for a B movie found randomly on Netflix and had a solid twist ending that wasn’t just done for the same of having one. i would recommend checking it out sometime, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Zombieland

Oh Zombieland. This is one of those movies that if you walked up to me and pitched it I would most likely call you insane. Add in Woodie Harrelson with some soon to be A list actors and you got yourself a flick.

The basic premise is typical. Zombie apocalypse happens strangers get together in various ways but this time instead of this being a serious survival movie they loaded it up with comedy right down to small details like a guy with a cowboy hat painting the number 3 on all of his trucks to finding guns in a hummer and yelling “thank god for red necks” they really attempted to make it comedic but not outlandish. The zombies actually look pretty good for what it is and the movie basically starts out with some Metalica (for whom the bell tolls if you care) this is another great movie blessed by the gaming gods, and may they also bring you glory.

Death Note (Netflix) 2nd opinion

So me and Torsten decided we would both review this one. Why? Well he has seen the anime and I have not. So he shall review it pretty much based on that side of things and I shall review it having very very little knowledge of it.

The start of the movie reminds me of most teen movies. Light is a whiny little emo brat to be honest. And L? He reminds me of one of those nerds in highschool that watched too many cartoons and randomly tosses Japanese words out there on occasion because he is to lazy to actually learn the language but wants to sound smart.

With the horrible acting and annoying script out of the way, I can appreciate the attempt to modern/Americanize it, hell its not even uncommon for other countries to change things to make it fit in with their culture. The biggest issue the movie has however is how badly they half assed the attempt. Change the location but leave all the names but toss a weird pronunciation on them? Makes very little sense.

On the bright side of things, the movie does look nice and the story itself is solid even tho I think the actual script needed work. Many of the issues I have heard basically boil down to it wasn’t done how people wanted.

Anyway if you have not seen the anime despite my complaints the movie is solid and entertaining enough to be worth watching. Hope you all enjoyed and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows (explained badly)

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Look i’m not making any money on this, so I shall do what Hollywood could not and combine this into 1 review. Now I must admit I had a lot of fun doing these reviews, mostly because they were very out of the ordinary. I doubt I do anything else like this unless people start asking for them. So without further delay I give you Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, apparently by George R.R. Martin.

Seriously that last part wasn’t a joke. These movies have a legit body count that would make Game Of Thrones proud. It starts with our favorite abuse survivor being escorted away from his Aunt and Uncles house by a small army of look a likes sort of like Saddam Hussein. A dew minutes later his owl is dead and so is Mad Eye.

A bit later they get some free goods from the will of Dumbledead that seems quite useless like a book of kid stories a golden snitch and a zippo that puts out lights. At some ones wedding there is another attack and I can only assume more people die. What follows is a weird obsession with finding a dudes old stuff just so Harry and friends can break it so they can kill him.

So as the magical camping trip wraps up the crew is captured and saved by dobby the good old house elf. Yea he dies now to.

I’m skipping around a bit but hey I forgot to mention. Half the first movie Ron is listening to the radio where they announce dead people from the war with the man with no nose.

I’m just going to skip ahead to the battle at Hogwarts. Look this battle is epic as hell. Our boy wonder and friends kick Snape out of the school to find the last couple items,oh yea Snape? Really was a good guy. Aaaaannnd he’s dead. Also one of the ginger twins is dead. Tonks? Dead. Her husband? Dead as fuck. Rons fling from a few movies back? Yea she is dead . After a bunch of death we get a happy ending of course.

But before I go here is something that always pissed me off in both the book and the movies. When Bellatrix killed Sirius Black Harry got pissed and used the forbidden torture curse. And I get it screw her. Later on at Gringots both Ron and Harry use the mins control curse. Again I get it, no harm no foul. Now we get to the final fight with Voldy boy. A man that has killed uncounted people and is responsible for even more. He has tortured more and hunted Harry and friends..and yet in the final duel when its all or nothing for the fate of the world the only person using the killing curse is big daddy V? That shit just makes 0 sense to me and never will. Feel free to mind control and innocent goblin, hit a crazy murderer chick with a torture curse…not quite willing to kill the greatest evil in the world. All that aside I hope you guys enjoyed, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.