Tag: Reviews

Exploration fun, sort of.

silver water world

So I’ve been making my way to the center of the galaxy in elite dangerous, a roughly 25 thousand light year trip. And i can’t lie, as fun as it is to see new unexplored places it can be rather boring at times. Tossing on some music or chatting with a friend makes it go a lot quicker. That being said I have come across stars and planets pretty much unseen by other players, for example this ringed blue gas giant.

Blue ring world

Some times as i’m cruising around lost in thought scanning planets I wonder why i chose to do this. Was it for the trophy? Money? Bragging rights for being one of the first PS4 players to do it? Or maybe a weird combination of it all. At the end of the day its sights like this that keep me coming back.

brown and white planet

When it comes down to it, its just  weird sort of fun getting to imagine what it would be like to actually be out there. I do not recommend trying such a long trip, but I would definitely suggest making a small 1000 light year trip just to see what its like. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

My Name Is Mayo review

mayo

Ok i’m going to be 100% honest here, this game cost me $1 and I heard the platinum trophy would be really easy to get. The game is basically mashing the x button to tap on a jar of mayonnaise and every so often you unlock new outfits to put on the jar. I will say that again. You unlock new outfits for the jar. It is oddly entertaining tho to see a jar with weird outfits on or magically holding a guitar. That being said depending on how fast your thumb is and how diligent you are about switching outfits you will unlock a lot of trophies quickly and about 30 minutes later you will have a platinum trophy. If you are a trophy hunter this game is for you, if not you should probably save your dollar and move along. As always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

American Poltergeist

american poltergiest

Lizzie Borden took an ax, gave her mother 40 wacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41. No,  this movie this movie isn’t about Lizzie Borden exactly. This takes place over 100 years later when the house is left to a woman that married into the Borden family and searches down her step daughter, the last of the Borden blood line. Its a pretty interesting concept that sadly doesn’t really come out well mostly because of laziness, not sure if that laziness came from writers Nicole Holland and Mike Rutkowski or directer…well Mike Rutkowski.  Much of the movie involves actors staring off into space until something happens or  possessed killer standing there with a ghost behind her back until the ghost raises an arm with a knife and the possessed woman attacks. In another scene a crowbar is used to bust into a room yet the very next scene shows the door is undamaged. It was a strong concept with some pretty bad follow through. It is also full of haunted house cliches just piled onto each other many times simultaneously. One scene has spinning clock hands and flashing lights leading into the eventual revelation to the others that one character is adopted and that is why her brother is actually safe. The topping of this shit show for me was the horrible sounds of hitting widows with axes and a crowbar and getting a weird thudding sound when they don’t break, I assume because of the demon that is stalking them but suddenly won’t come into the house and finish them off. As always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Satanic

Satanic

Satanic (2016) was written by Anthony Jaswinski and directed by Jeffrey G. Hunt is the story of four friends that stop off in L.A. to view some occult tourist spots. Like all movies like this, it eventually leads to witnessing an excommunication from some satanic cult that for whatever reason had to be done topless. All the characters seem to fit the usual stereotypes. The jackass jock, the nice girl next door, the goth chick and the dude that seems like he is trying to fit in with the goth chick. Of course after helping the homeless girl that now has no place to go. As always it turns out they would have been far better off leaving her on the side of the road waiting for her alleged bus. The movie wasn’t very well received and I can understand why, it was largely just a bunch of horror movie cliches tossed together with cute chicks to round out the experience. Its currently on Netflix if you are interested in seeing how it all plays out. Thanks for being here and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Coffin Dodgers

coffin dodgers

I won’t lie, I bought this game because I heard it was an easy platinum and it was on sale for like $3. I wasn’t expecting much, and at a 28.6% platinum rate i knew it wouldn’t be hard. The same day I bought it the platinum popped and I must admit I felt a little dirty. The game isn’t to bad despite the low price point and simple trophies. There was definitely some lag and graphical glitches and the other drivers seem to have far better reach and aim with weapons but honestly its not overly frustrating or even hard to deal with. As far as Mario Kart rip offs go this one isn’t hard and has a surprisingly fun story that entails the Grim reaper collecting souls from a retirement community where it is decided they will race their motorized scooters where the winners get to keep their souls. There are only about 4 groups of maps with 3 tracks in each,all of which are pretty nice to look at. Colorful and filled with things to see and the sound while not high end is still pretty pleasing. All things considered at full price of $12 it is a worthwhile purchase if you just want some quick fun and and easy trophies. Thanks for joining me and may the gaming god bring you glory.

Gallowwalkers Review

Gallowwalkers

Directed by Andrew Goth and starring Wesley Snipes I went into Gallowwalkers (2012) with the expectation of a solid but unremarkable movie. After all its a zombie westernwith Wesley Snipes. So 30 minutes in something doesn’t seem right. So I google this movie and see some horrible reviews. As I continue watching and inch my way closer to the halfway mark I slowly realise this move is not getting any better. At this point Snipes i shooting up a prison with very little explanation as to why the flash back is happening, and these lades ample bosom are not doing a very good job keeping me interested.  You know how bad of a movie it has to be for chicks in Victorian dresses to be the best part of a movie and still have the movie be such a pile of shit I don’t want to finish watching it? Seriously Snipes what the hell were you thinking putting your name on this? Now at about the half way point a bunch of people get the short drop and a sudden drop treatment by whom I assume is the bad guy shot by Snipes in the prison complaining that him, his men and his whore all came back to life but his son did not. Finally some explanation. I’m not going to bother describing the other half of this damn train wreck. And I would recommend  you don’t try to find out. This movie never really gets any better and has few if any redeeming qualities. Thanks for reading, and best wishes from the gaming gods.

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 review

hellraiser 2

Another classic based of a Clive Barker story with the screenplay done by Peter Atkins and directed by Tony Randal. Hellbound takes place directly after the first hellraiser with Kristine now in a mental hospital which should be no surprise. In typical sequel fashion while she begs and pleads for an item to be destroyed so her evil stepmom cant come back from the dead no one believes poor Kristy. You know, until the even more evil occultist head of the mental hospital lets a crazy dude slice himself open reviving Kristys evil  step mom back then later letting another solve the puzzle once again releasing the Cenobites which as far as i can tell are former humans that basically became demons. The movie itself has some flashes of nudity, plenty of death and enough fake blood and dead bodies to drowned a small army. Honestly sitting here watching the movie i couldn’t really see anything that made the movie special even for its time. Worse still it seems even the directer and screenwriter didn’t seem to care enough to do anything new or interesting to the point that even the formerly dead step mother claims the rules of the fairy tale have changed with her no longer just being the wicked step mother but now the evil queen.

I wont go as far to say the movie was bad despite poor ratings on both Rotten Tomatoes (48%) and IMDb (6.5/10) the movie just was not special in any way. Pinhead and the Cenobites aren’t bad villains, they simply don’t seem to be very well utilized this time around.  They come across as a mix between Freddie Kruger and some weird carnival freak show which honestly have simply been done better by others, tho done well enough for there to be 9 movie in the series. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Egg,Inc Mobile

egg inc

Egg Inc is a mobile game that involved a ton of tapping on your phone to raise eggs. As you raise more and more chickens you gain more and more money. Every so often you can pretty much promote your eggs so they bring you even more money. I wouldn’t call the game fun, but its a good way to kill some time when you are watching a movie or just sitting around and for the most part you can get away without spending money which I find pretty rare in mobile games. I know this is a bit short but hey, its a mobile game. Thank for the time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Arcade Archives: Contra

AA Contra

Another long title that as implies is the port of an arcade version, not the NES version well grew up playing. What you basically lose here is the famous Konami code and what you gain are superior graphics and sound. It is worth pointing out tho that there is a code for 30 lives that’s quite similar to the classic code. The levels are as far as i can tell exactly the same and still quite the pain in the ass, but weirdly if you re on the top of a level and jump above the screen you can’t fire your weapon which is quite annoying and can get you killed. The levels are pretty fast paced and by todays standards pretty short which really isn’t  problem for an $8 retro game. It also comes with the American and Japanese version as well as a high-score mode and trophy support for those that care to hunt the few of them down. While its a nice stroll down nostalgia lane i have to admit for whatever reason the game just doesn’t feel as fun as it once did. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

ACA Neogeo Super Baseball 2020

super baseball

Ok that may be the longest title I have ever had to type out. Seriously the title of this is actually the name of the game. Anyway a friend of mine posted this game was coming out and I thought well damn, i loved this game as a kid I need to pick this up. So i picked it up, waited the 30 seconds it took to download and I have to say it held up pretty decently for an old arcade game. Yes this is based off an arcade version, not the Sega Genesis. the graphics aren’t half bad and the sound held up fairly well also. There re a few issues that drive me nuts tho. They for whatever reason kept the normal arcade time limit when making choices. Which in an actual arcade is no big deal, dealing with that shit at home is super annoying. But wait, there’s more, every 5 minutes the game gets interrupted until you ” insert coins” and hit continue which more than a few times happens in the middle of a pitch which was annoying as hell. When all is said and done its a solid port of the game and aside from a few issues its worth the 8 bucks. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.