All Cheerleders Die

all cheer. die

Directed by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson All Cheerleaders Die is a movie about, well cheerleaders. Look i won’t lie to you people, basically i hop o Netflix or Hulu, pick a random movie in the horror genre and watch it. Sometimes I sit down with my laptop, get some writing done or work on my game and enjoy a movie. Other times I end up watching shit like All cheerleaders die. I didn’t pay for this but i still want my money back. The first 30 minutes or so is bitchy but hot cheerleaders going about their lives of back stabbing and being a dick to the less popular kids. The only bright sides or the chicks are pretty odd and at least a few of them are lesbians together. There isn’t a lot of nudity but it would be inappropriate for minors. Shortly after the 30 minute mark  a football player has enough of  a cheerleader berating him in front of everyone and punches her which results in a car chase and a car full of cheerleaders seemingly dead. After some accidental witch craft with some magical rocks the girls are back and that is around the time all sorts of weird shit happens. 2 girls switch bodies,people start dieng and i’m not sure if they are zombies or what the hell is going on,they definitely eat a  dude, well steal his life force or maybe both? Movie is weird. Seriously don’t watch it, or at least be drunk. As always thanks for coming and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Are “Classic” Consoles needed?

Nintendo classic

With the success of the Nintendo Classic and the assured success of the soon to be released Super Nintendo Classic I have seen the question a few times, are they really needed? At first it seems a silly question. Its a product people want that is easier and cheaper than hunting down and buying the originals.  Lets not forget there are other options as well with many of the titles included being available on various Nintendo consoles. Most people also own a laptop capable of using emulators to play these games (fill disclosure I do not advocate this and it is completely illegal if you do not own an original copy of the game) which raises the question even more, are these needed? My personal opinion, absolutely. Lets be honest here, while it is fun to hunt down your favorite games from the past, and feeling that nostalgia flow over you, it is very much cheaper and easier to simply buy a classic console. many of the games I grew up loving made it onto the NES classic and the SNES classic is also full of games I loved, from Super Mario World to Mega Man X. And sure i could go buy these system and hunt down these games that could easily take hundreds of dollars and probably even more hours of my time as opposed to one of these systems. My only real issue is how short of supply they are in to the point that many people never got to purchase one. Hopefully this time will be different, but I doubt it, As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Is Pokemon Go Dead?

pokemon go

The question has been asked many times, is Pokemon Go dead? For many people the answer seems to be yes, but i’m inclined to disagree. Sure it has died down from its popularity of last summer when thousands of people all over the world would congregate to one spot in hopes of catching that one elusive pokemon they wanted at the time. That being said i still know plenty of people that play, and the gyms by my house are constantly changing and i still see people daily walking around with their phones in their faces. I’m not ashamed to admit i also still play and now with the weather nicer will absolutely be going on the occasional pokemon hunt. I can’t really think the game is dead when millions of people in the world are still playing and the game is regularly updated with new pokemon and locations. While I admit I do miss the days of tons of people wondering around and forming little groups even with strangers to chat about what they hope the future of the game will bring or where a certain creature can be found, I still find it somewhat relaxing to just see whats out there. As always thanks for your time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hellraiser Movie review

hellraiser

Hellrsaiser is a classic Clive Barker movie, filled with gruesome deaths, the obligatory sex scene and of course, pinhead. Released in 1987, back when horror movies were the standard family movies into a house and all hell break loose and this is no exception.  The father is pretty much immune to common sense and the outcasted family member is the one that brings the evil into the house while the assumed virgin daughter is trying to find her way in the world. Once again the evil cheating wife is pretty much just there to push the story along. All that isn’t to say the movie is bad, its Clive barker, however it is very basic and cliche on every level imaginable. The visuals for their time are rather nice and the sound is pretty much on par with everything else in that time frame. Pinhead himself look pretty creepy and to this day isn’t the type you would want to run into even in broad daylight. When all is said and done, it is definitely a worthwhile horror flick if you like the 80’s movie genre or horror movies in general. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Phantasy Star 2 mobile review

phantasy star 2

I have always been a huge fan of the Phantasy Star series ever since my parents randomly bought me a game. See it was that time of year us poor people love, income tax season. Its where we get to pay some bill and buy a few things we otherwise could not afford. I remember being sick and saying i wanted a game, obviously unable to pick a myself my parents offered to do it. Most kids would have been worried, but my dad was an old school gamer. Really old school, i’m talking pinball and asteroids and home consoles didn’t exist yet, and my mom used to watch me play all the time. Now i can’t say how the conversation at the store went but I always assumed it came down to them arguing over 2 games then saying  screw it and buying both. My reward? Shining Force 2 and Phantasy Star 4, two of my all time favorites.

Obviously when I heard Phantasy Star 2 would be free on mobile i was excited and skeptical. The game has an over lay of the Genesis controller that i thought would be annoying and cumbersome which i’m happy to say i was wrong tho admittedly they can be a bit unresponsive at times. The sound and graphics both sound as good or maybe  little better than on the Sega, but not as good as some of the collections that have come out since, but for free i won’t complain especially knowing these are all basically direct copies of the Sega versions. The adds also are not anything major, basically only showing when you start or pause the game and I have not seen one mess with game play at all. as always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Review

tcuker and dale

This movie is directed by Eli Craig and was written by him and Morgan Jurgenson. Now I try not to swear to much because I have no idea who reads this, but what the fuck were these two smoking when they wrote this? And I don’t mean that in a good way or bad way. it was a fun movie. The story goes like this, a group of college kids goes camping and happens to run into Tucker and Dale whom they find a bit creepy seeing as how they are pretty much hillbillys  and these are rich college kids. This is where a series of misunderstandings will result in a group of college kids attempting to rescue their friend that doesn’t need to be rescued resulting in even more coincidental and misunderstood deaths. Without giving to much away at one point a guy running from bees after accidentally hitting their nest with a chain saw will result in another guy running away and killing himself on a tree branch because he thinks he i being chased by a guy with a chainsaw. Now i know all of this sounds weird and convoluted, because it is. It somehow manages to come  are together as a pretty solid movie. I probably would be upset if i paid real money for this movie, but if you have Netflix i would check it out. Thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Elite Dangerous PS4 review

planets

After years of waiting, Frontier finally brings Elite Dangerous to the PlayStation 4. Graphically it looks superior to the Xbox one version but not as good as the PC version making it visually the middle of the road. That being said none of them look bad. There are a few glitches in the game sadly, in both open and solo play I experienced some rubber banding where I would  move and be ripped back and eventually shoot forward, once it even destroyed my ship. That is few are far between, after probably 10 hours I’ve seen it twice. The sound is pretty much top tier a well with no noticeable issues.

For better or worse, and this will depend on the person playing, the game simply does not care about you. the tutorials are out of game (if you played the xbox version the controls line up perfectly between systems) and if you skip them the game basically explains very little. Outside of one optional mission the game gives you there i no real guidance on what you should be doing. The galaxy is a very large place, and the game does not make you feel as anything more than 1 pilot among the stars. If you are a fan of space or simulation games you should check it out, and if you are a fan of both you owe it to yourself to play it. As always, thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

 

Killing Floor 2 Review

killing floor 2

Killing Floor 2 is a game I got for free from the playstation network and admittedly i was not expecting much. It looked like a standard first person shooter that was basically a horde mode. While i admit that’s basically what it is, it is also pretty well done. Far more gory than i was expecting the controls are pretty fluid and the depth of weapon customization far surpassed what I thought we would get. I only played the multiplayer online mode and it was a nice mix of challenging and fun tho the boss did pretty much annihilate my entire team pretty quickly. One guy was caught alone and unprepared and the rest of us had no where near the team work required to beat this thing. There were a few things that got me tho. For example there is an extremely limited time to find the upgrade station that moves each round and upgrade your weapons which seems pretty daunting for new players. Another issue is there doesn’t seem to be a clear cut explanation of what each character is good for even tho a few of them are pretty self explanatory. All in all its a solid game that i would have been more than happy to have spent money on, and for free that makes it all the sweeter. Once again thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Grand Ages:Medieval Review

Grand Ages

Grand Ages Medieval is a world simulation game by Kalypso that seems to fit a nice niche that PS4 is missing. The game has a campaign mode as well as a sandbox mode with the campaign largely acting as the tutorial. The game takes place in a beautiful work that represents Europe and the basic idea is to reach the rank of emperor through the use of war, diplomacy and most importantly trade routes that you can either use to trade between your own towns, rival towns or like me, a combination of both. The controls work pretty nice on console, which is no surprise since Kalypso has plenty of experience bringing these types of games to console having done so with both Port Royal 3 and the Tropico series. Speaking of Port Royal, if you enjoyed that game, this game s basically that without all the boats. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Final Fantasy 7 retro review

FF7

So lately I have been getting into some older games, and that of course led me to Final Fantasy 7. This review was actually quite hard for me to write since I want to be honest, but many times nostalgia gets in the way. For example, one of my favorite scenes from FF7 was Sepheroth walking through the fire.

FF7 Seph.

But hey as long as we are being honest, by today’s standards, the scene, like many from FF7, doesn’t exactly hold up very well. Honestly, the story itself holds up pretty badly. Sure, 20 years ago, I didn’t notice that the whole story with Zack was so far out of the way without a strategy guide, you could easily miss it. Recently going to the temple after Wutai ( rocket town if you don’t recruit Yuffie) I noticed the game never actually told me I needed the keystone at the gold saucer unless you happen to stop at the weapons dealer in the random cabin that also isn’t mentioned. Stuff like that aside, all these years later the materia system is still quite deep and engaging, while chocobo breeding and racing is still one of my favorite parts of the game.

The battle graphics also do not hold up very well, and looking back, I’m not sure they were ever as good as most of us thought.

FF7 enemy

That being said, the battles themselves are still fun and many still pose a pretty good challenge. If somehow you managed to not play this game, I would still recommend picking it up on PlayStation 4 since it is pretty cheap, tho I would advise you to avoid the cheats that are enabled. They d,o however, make that grind for limit breaks so much easier, and that was always the part I hated the most. All that being said, thank you for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.