Category: Retro Review

When Star Wars reignited after Phantom Menace debuted, there were a crap load of video games. One of my favorites capitalized on the pod race scene, which besides the final lightsaber fight was Menace’s most memorable part. Extreme speeds and a lot of damage, pod racing was the shit. This racing game used to make my heart stop as the other racers would smash the hell out of my pod, forcing me to pull back and repair my engines so I didn’t explode. The worst was getting slammed off course mid jump and crashing to my fiery death. Make no mistake, this game was a hard son of a bitch but it was really fun for a racing game which I’m normally not into. If you were disappointed by Star Wars Episode 1: the game on PlayStation, this makes up for it on the N64. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

With the final movie of the Skywalker saga in Star Wars coming out at the end of this year, I’m going to start looking at pieces of the Star Wars I growing up. Given to me as a gift way later in life so I checked it out before upgrading to the PS3, brand new at the time. I can tell you this game did not age well at all.

The Phantom Menace game recounts the events of the game ( minus the pod race and thankfully the debate scenes). You play as Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Padme, and her bodyguard dude I can’t remember the name of. For Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan you primarily use your lightsaber and try to reflect blaster shots back at the enemies which requires pretty acute timing but is still hit and miss. You can use a force ability which helps. The other two characters are strictly shooters which wouldn’t be so bad if the game didn’t use tank controls. Yes, tank controls, so be ready to feel like you are going through a chore. The graphics are pretty bad, and you don’t get much resolution in the characters which can look kinda creepy at times. The music is fine but loops too often and the sound is Ok. This is one of those games I rage quit and didn’t look back from; between getting lost so often with the bad controls and bullshit deaths I just couldn’t bring myself to get past level 4. I can’t tell you if I would’ve liked this game more back then but in a more modern day, hell no. Regardless of your opinion on the movie, I can say you are good to skip this game. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

So the other day, walking down memory lane, I covered Hey You Pikachu and decided today why not cover an unusual Pokemon game that actually works. Again, much like Hey You Pikachu, this game was a cool concept: go on expeditions through various locales taking pictures of the native Pokemon that inhabit the region. It was a cool concept done surprisingly well. The camera was fluid and the expeditions were pretty fun; I remember a volcanic area full of fire Pokemon which were some of my favorites at the time. An unexpected bonus was how much fun it was playing with a friend, seeing who could photo bomb more Pokemon and who could get the cooler shots. Violet and I had a ton of fun doing this as kids. I feel if replicated today, the modern game market would abuse the hell out of this game, adding who knows how many DLC packages and micro transactions which makes me sad a bit. In the end, it’s a simple, wholesome game I recommend for Pokemon fans or families with younger kids. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

I can’t lie, until randomly at my job that isn’t the blog, I forgot this game pretty much existed. Once I recalled it, I had to think to a time way back to when there were only 151 Pokemon and Pokemon: The First Movie was THE movie in my school and news of Pokemon 2000 was the equivalent of Star Wars hype. But, I digress… Hey You Pikachu was a game for the Nintendo 64 with a lot of ambition. Requiring a special microphone attachment for the N64 controller, you talked to Pikachu and had him to command and essentially lived your own little Pokemon fantasy. As far as I’m aware of, there was no battling, so there goes a huge chunk of that fantasy. I have to be 100% honest, I’ve never seen this game in person actually really work. Talking to Pikachu became ultra frustrating super quickly because the controller itself was nearly useless and the entire game was trying to talk. When you’d get Pikachu to follow your instructions it was so cool, but then enjoy the 15-20 minutes it took for his next command to register. I’ve seen people pitch hissy fits and whip there controllers over this game. Simply put. I can’t recommend this game to anyone. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Did you guys know bandicoots were real animals? No, I was as shocked as you probably are. This is a actual bandicoot.

Adorable, right? Anyway let’s talk about Crash Bandicoot, one of PlayStation’s most beloved mascots.

Experimented on by the nefarious Dr Neo Cortex, Crash escapes and goes about his adventure through forests, ancient ruins, and the lair of Cortex himself. Crash Bandicoot is a perfect example of an old school platformer, easy to learn but hard as hell to master. I spent entire days stuck on levels, holding my breath when the levels started getting crazy. While Crash can fall from a an insane height, without the help of the Aku-Aku masks a single hit instantly kills you which adds a lot of tension, combined with the fact you have a limited number of lives. While the game kicks your ass pretty hard, it is fair which I appreciated. Collecting 100 Wumpa fruits grants you a extra life; the game grants you Aku-Aku masks if you die too many times so you can take an extra hit or two. Graphically, the game looks damn good on PS4 and the controls are fluid as ever. If you ever need an old school throwback game, the first Crash Bandicoot game as part of the N Sane Trilogy is well worth the play through. May the gaming gods bring you glory.