Category: Movie Review

Beetlejuice

beetlejuice

I know what you’re thinking, ” Torsten, please don’t say it three times in a row. We know you want to but please don’t.” Well, as much as I’d like to, I won’t. I will say Beetlejuice is the man…

Adam and Barbara Maitland were a normal, happy couple living in there big secluded house. One day they have a car accident. After journeying home, they discover they can’t leave, time has skipped forward, and they don’t appear in the mirror- in short, they’re dead. With only a confusing book on being deceased to guide them, the couple has a new problem: a new family has moved in. The Dietz’s family are almost the polar opposites, turning there once humble home into a gawdy art piece. The only living person to acknowledge the pair is the Dietz’s daughter, Lydia, a shy, gloomy girl. No matter how hard they try to scare the Dietzs away, nothing works and they are forced to try a maniacal bio-exorcist by the name of Betleguse..

What can I say other than this is Tim Burton at arguably his best. The movie is a great blend of light and dark comedy, not to mention some great musical numbers. Michael Keaton as Betleguse is hilarious and steals the show. The movie is full of great performances and cool effects. Beetlejuice is a super cool movie I recommend checking out if you never have, it’s definitely a different kind of comedy. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Doom Patrol trailer

So while I had a huge amount of reservations about DC’s live action Titans series, I have to admit I really dug the Doom Patrol cameo. As for looks, the main characters actually look pretty good. Cyborg looks better to me here than in Justice League (2017) and I have to admit I always liked Robot Man. I’m actually kinda excited to see how this progresses. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Child’s Play trailer

Dude, why the hell did we need a Chucky remake? The ideas behind the remake, killer smart dolls, I don’t think are bad ideas. I think there’s ingredients of things in this trailer and the viral marketing leading up to it that could make an interesting horror movie. But again I ask, why the fuck did Chucky have to be involved? Also this kid seems oddly old to want a doll in the first place. It’s not a horrible trailer but I aint got a great feeling about it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pet Sematary trailer 2

Here we get a huge plot reversal in the second trailer for the Pet Sematary remake. In the original Pet Sematary , Gage is the Creed child who perishes and leads to the story’s tragic events to unfold. This time, it appears to be Ellie which is a nice twist.I think this trailer looks much more promising than the first but there’s still doubts of course, but I’m glad there is a twist to the story.  May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned From A Mythical Man

There is a story about Bill Murray showing up at a college party and just hanging out doing the dishes and giving out life advice or the story about how he once stole someone’s french fries and told them “nobody will ever believe you” before walking away. There is even a scene in Zombieland where Tallahassee yells “It’s Bill fucking Murray”  which is kind of play on the entire mythos that is Bill Murray just showing up places where ever he wants and being loved by people. There is even a website dedicated to it, https://www.billmurraystory.com/

That is what this documentary is about, Tommy Avallone looking into these stories to see if there is any truth to them and why people love the man so much. He starts out by explaining that Bill has no real agent or anything like that, simply a 1-800 number that if you can get (it is apparently hard) you can simply call him and leave a message to pitch a movie idea, which he attempts to do. Does it work? Well, you have to watch to find out, I won’t ruin it all.

The movie is quite fascinating, and honestly, the man is truly a legend not because of all he has accomplished, which could be an entire article on its own, but because of who he is. He is a huge celebrity that and yet he always seems to enjoy interacting not so much with his fans, but with people in general. The movie also gives you some tremendous insight into the man himself, so give it a watch. Also, Bill, if you read this let’s go for drinks. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Avengers: Endgame Superbowl trailer

Well, Disney is continuing it’s trend after the first Avengers 4 trailer of keeping things hush hush. Pretty much we get Cap’s pre-war speech and we get to see the rest of the crew suit up for what’s sure to be a cataclysmic finale against Thanos. I’m curious why Captain Marvel hasn’t popped up yet but since I imagine she’ll be the turning point of the battle they likely wont show her til the end. I’m glad much isn’t being revealed and I’m pumped as hell. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hot Pursuit (1987)

Hot Pursuit from 1987 is the story of Dan Bartlett (John Cusack) and his failure to catch a plane on time after he fails a chemistry test. Now he must catch a later flight to catch up with his girlfriend and her insanely rich family. Upon landing in the Caribbean he tries to catch a cab which is stolen from him, and this is where it turns into almost an old fashioned role-playing game.

Seriously, he will meet 3 friendly Rastafarians that he mistakenly thinks may be criminals because he was warned to watch out for the locals. They actually teach him to throw a machete. He will then narrowly miss meeting up with his girlfriend, he will give up hope and get drunk. He will then be basically kidnapped after he passes out and ends up with a seemingly crazed man obsessed with catching up with the boat his girlfriend is on, but he will luckily end up learning on to sail. I am telling you this because it all comes back around.

Later on, he will eventually meet up with his girlfriend, and I don’t want to spoil the ending but learning to throw a machete and sail factors into the ending. Each main person he meets teaches him a new skill to help him in his quest. This isn’t bad, it was just painfully glaring there. The movie itself has some laughs but admittedly isn’t very good and definitely is not one of John Cusack’s better movies. As a person that loves 80’s movies, this one was just not very enjoyable. I did like the ending, the journey there just didn’t worth it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ghost Ship

ghost ship

This review goes out to my good friend Violet, who introduced me to this movie ages ago when we were kids. I’m sure there’s something poetic about time here but there is something about the importance of ducking and/ or the blessing of being short. Seriously, the opening to this movie made me pissed I’m over 6 foot tall…

Ghost Ship is about the tragic fate of the ocean liner SS Antonia Graza where everyone died and the ship was never found. Fifty years later a salvage team is presented with photos of a derelict adrift at sea. They hesitantly accept the offer, discovering the Graza. Deep inside, while scraping the ship they discover clues to what may have happened and mass amount of untraceable gold bars stowed away. With riches in there grasp, it quickly becomes clear something on the ship may not want them to leave, or let them..

The movie is simple to explain but better than I thought it’d be. I’m not a fan of most things from Dark Castle productions, the people who brought us  the Puppet Master series and the god awful House of Wax (05) but there is definitely some effort here. I really like a lot of the cinematography and I do like the setting both past and present. The opening death scene is insanely awesome as well as the flashback that extends on it. The story is simple but solid and the score is meh, though the music choices make it feel dated as shit ( I was in the 6th grade when Not Falling by Mudvayne came out. Damn I’m old). The use of jump scare noises annoyed the shit out of me and I wasn’t invested in any of the characters, in fact I really wanted the bad guy dead for most of it. In the end, it’s not a bad movie. Not great but not terrible by any means and it’s not a bad time. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly evil and Vile trailer

A few months ago I was stunned a little at the The Haunting of Sharon Tate trailer and I have to say I’ve kind of stunned at this Ted Bundy movie. I don’t have a problem with Effron as the notorious killer, in fact I think he has what it takes to pull it off. What gets me is the tone of the trailer. Is it me or does the trailer kind of try to make Bundy look like a folk hero more than a serial killer? Other than that, I still think it looks interesting. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn

evil dead 2

As much as I love the original Evil Dead I admit, I never really set out to follow Ash’s further adventures. I wasn’t a fan of how the series slipped into comedy at a slope but I had a chance to sit down and judge for myself if I was being too hasty. Was I right?

We begin the story with an alternate retelling of events from the first movie: a much more rugged, manly Ash and his love Linda crash a vacant cabin one picturesque weekend only to stumble on the book of the dead and the book proceeds to take her over. Where the last film leaves over, the demons won’t let Ash leave the cabin and Linda won’t stay dead. His mind is slipping as even his own flesh turns against him, forcing him to chop his own hand off with a chainsaw. To make matters worse, the daughter of the professor who translated the book and set this all into action is going to the cabin to see what became of her parents. can Ash pull it together and live to see dawn?

While nowhere as creepy as the first movie, I do love how off the rails it goes. This movie’s greatest strength is just how creative a lot of the scenes are. My favorite maybe when Ash is trying to chase his severed hand and when he finally shoots it through the wall and he gets sprayed with what seems to be hundreds of gallons of blood, only to have time reset like it never happened.  I did laugh a lot but I give the movie credit, it knows how to show some creepy shit and have it feel like slapstick comedy. Ash is a great horror icon and dare I say- groovy. I love the ending which sets up the batshit insanity that is Army of Darkness. Evil Dead 2 is a damn good horror comedy I recommend to new commers to the series and may the gaming gods bring you glory.