Category: Movie Review

There are  a very few movies that have dropped jaws as well as terrify the masses made by young folks with a passion, as well as a remake that shits all over it. The late horror legend, Wes Craven, as well Sean Cunningham who would give us Friday the 13th gave us a new kind of horror that nearly 50 years, still inspiring writers and filmmakers to this day.

It’s Mari Collingwood’s 17th birthday and all she wants is grab some weed and go to a rock concert with her BFF Phyllis. Her folks, Estelle and John, let her go because kids will be kids, despite the radio reports of a trio of criminals on the loose. Mari and Phyllis find a pot connection in Willow, who leads them to the sinister trio led by his father, Krug, who proceed to kidnap the girls and take them into the woods. They are raped, Phyllis is disemboweled, and Mari is fatally shot, left to die in the water- leading to the twist, the woods are behind the Collingwood’s home. The trio disguises themselves as a family with car trouble, showing up at there doorstep. As the rain descends, Estelle’s intuition tells her something is wrong and tragically, unaware to the criminals, the parents discover the body of their daughter, and suddenly they plan there revenge…

Let’s talk about the original, it’s  one hell of a debut film. The subject matter is indeed disturbing and some of the scenes are hard to watch but it helps illustrate its point. The actors, as well as the way its filmed, do not feel produced or glossy, giving the movie a sense of seldom realism we rarely get in horror anymore. I love the villains, horrible people who go from being dimwitted goofballs to savage fiends which is captured remarkably well. The music is unique to the core and unforgettable. The only real flaw are the cartoonish cops throughout that trip the tone hard at times but I admit, helps gives the movie personality.

Personality is something the 2009 remake lacks. First, why the hell this movie exists, I don’t know. Granted, on it’s own, it isn’t a terrible movie. The cinematography is quite nice at times and the score is fitting. Essentially the plot is the same but with one damning difference, Mari doesn’t die and Willow turns good instead of crack and kill himself which gives it a huge Hollywood feel, if the cinematography and big orchestra score weren’t dead giveaways. On top of that, the actors do look like actors and the criminals look like bad guys from the get go. The fact it does look and feel so much like a big budget movie cripples it and makes it feel like a run of the mill home invasion thriller by the third act.

Last House on the Left was a heavy horror movie with some meaning behind it, made by some 20 somethings who wanted to do something different. The remake ain’t horrid if you never saw the original, but I urge you to if you haven’t. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

I’ve been to probably 1,000 movies over my lifetime and Paranormal Activity 4 is one of the few times I wanted my money back.

Acting as the real sequel to the original, it picks up with the story of a family who gets  new neighbors: Katie and Hunter, and of course strange shit goes on and it’s all recorded on film…that’s almost literally the entire movie.

By the 4th movie, in less than 5 years after the original movie, it’s charm has worn off. The movie is insultingly short, leading eventually to why I wanted my money back. I’ve watched DBZ films longer than this damn thing and to pay 10 bucks to be in and out. The most memorable part was the ending, but this time came as no real surprise and the poor pacing ruined what effect it could have had. If you buy the collection it’s meh at best but I wouldn’t go past $5 for it. After 4 I quit the series, admiring the trilogy but recommending you stop there. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Around this time I was a fan of this movie and had a job; my old writing partner and I had a WTF late night adventure trying to see this at midnight to no actual avail, but I digress. The teaser was chilling, and I’ll include it below. Many of the trailers were freaky as hell. Most of the cool shit never made it to this short ass movie.

Paranormal Activity 3 is a huge prequel, going back to when Katie and Kristy were little girls and we get to explore the very origin of the disturbances, the fire, the reason neither of them remembered anything as adult women. It begins when little Kristy finds a imaginary friend that no one thinks twice about; kids will be kids. But things begin to happen and before the family knows it they are on the run leading to perhaps my favorite WTF climaxes I’ve seen on film in a long time.

3 is the last of these movies I would call totally good. There are some crazy effects but I can say it’s a bit toned down from the previous movie. The acting again is solid but I have to say the kids nailed it; watching Kristy talking to nothing freaked me out a bit. By the third movie we find ourselves getting used to the formula, especially how frequently they were coming out, and with the exception of the WTF ending that kicks your ass, there isn’t much new ground covered. Something that bothers the shit out of me is a combination of the the pacing and how short the movie is. When you hit that WTF ending, the movie feels on the cusp of entering Act 3, not the tip toes of it which is jarring as hell. It adds to the scare but after the surprise wears off, you feel oddly let down. In the end, it’s a good found footage film that completes a solid trilogy. I’d end it here, save face, and call it a day. May the gaming gods bring you glory.