Movie Review – Page 76 – Savior Gaming

The Purge

purge

Happy belated Independence Day ever one. We hope you had a lovely day before the annual Purge. Soon, we get to discover how the madness started. In 2013 I was excited as hell for the first Purge movie; I swore up and down it was going to change how we saw horror. Poor 2013 me…

In the near future, the USA is enjoying a long period of crime free living and prosperity after the New Founding Fathers took over. How is this so, you may ask? The Purge: one night a year where all crime is legal. The Sandin family are good, privileged folks living in a clean, happy suburb, safe and sound from the horrors outside- until there son let’s a poor wounded man in who’s being hunted by a group of killer yuppies. The killers offer to leave the family alone in exchange for the stranger, but can they live with themselves after?

I wanted this to be epic but alas, this is a pretty generic home invasion movie that wants to have it’s cake and eat it too. It wants to be deep and thought provoking but the scope is too limited to get a feel for the purge’s impact and the commentary you get feels watered down. It wants to be a over the top, Grindhouse style movie, but the horror is jumpscares and the Gore and killings are kind of bland. I felt it was playing it too safe quite a few times. However I did care about the family and in a corny ass sort of way, I liked the cartoony villians too. A lot of pitentpot went to waste but it’s not a bad movie to see if you find it cheap or streamed. May the gaming gods bring you glory and release the beast as they say 😁.

47 Meters Down (2016)

download

47 Meters Down is the story of two sisters on vacation in Mexico, both of them having their own personal issues. These issues however honestly aren’t even important except maybe to push them towards some bad decisions. Not really a bad decision tho, sort of. They meet two friend guys that invite them scuba diving in a cage to see some sharks, which they do every weekend on their friends boat. This is actually pretty common. Not the running off with strange men in Mexico to dive with sharks, that is borderline retarded. Just the actual act of diving in a cage with sharks.

So they end up the next day, on a boat with three men they really don’t know, now I have to say this, I was expecting this to get real bad for these two women, and it does. For a lot of reasons, but not these dudes. By the end of the movie I actually felt bad for assuming these guys were complete scum. As the movie goes on tho they are doing typical boat stuff, throwing dead fish in the water, getting gear set up, telling jokes. Typical boring stuff. In fact the movie is actually a pretty slow build. Its cool tho, we will get a pay off right?

Eventually the men go down in the cage and we get to see some huge sharks as the ladies get changed. Nothing odd here, just some general conversation and the dude left on the boat politely keeping his eyes and hands to himself. The men come up, the sister that lied about knowing how to scuba dive gets a crash course on how to do it which the owner of the boat was oddly okay with being lied to about. Now its time to get in the water.

After getting some cool time with the fishes and sharks, and dropping the camera into a shark’s mouth like she promised not to do things get bad. The cable starts to slip, they start to bring it up and…snap.

We finally get to the good stuff. The cage plummets to the bottom. I won’t spoil the rest of the movie, but the rest of the movie has to do with them stuck at the bottom of the ocean, getting out of the cage and discovering they actually need to stay in the cage, because the sharks are still in the water, and oxygen is running out fast.

Sadly while the movie has its moments of being extremely exciting and fun, you spend most of your time waiting for it. Most of the characters are hardly worth caring about and I never much cared if anyone lived or died. The movie was fun, but there are better movies out there. I won’t say don’t watch it, just be aware you may be disappointed. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Switch (2010)

download (2)

The Switch is an interesting movie in the sense that it is listed as a comedy but it never made me laugh, but it never tried to. It is simply the story of an ageing woman who wants a baby, and her best friend that is in love with her getting hammered and switching the samples. I do mean HAMMERED by the way, he doesn’t even remember doing this for about 7 years. She moves back to town, he gets to know the kid notices some similarities people make some comments he puts two and two together his friend mentions some comments he made when he showed up drunk at his house and there we go.

While that does sum up the plot of the movie, and it really isn’t a funny movie, that doesn’t make the movie bad. Aniston and Bateman are both great actors and have amazing chemistry together. You can believe their friendship as it slowly builds to the inevitable love we know was coming as it always does in these movies and Batemans growing friendship with the son Sebastian is natural and well done.

The script is also great, the only real question here is do you like the kind of drama with a little humor thrown in, not the kind that makes you laugh just the kind that lightens the mood. If the answer is yes by all means check this one out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Strangers: Prey at Night

strangers 2

I was skeptic when The Strangers got a sequel after a decade, even more so after Strangers 2, trailer 1 came out. Was I wrong to be nervous after a decade of waiting?

This installment picks up at a trailer park where the familiar trio of strangers murders an elderly couple and not long after, the whole park’s inhabitants while they sleep. We join a family, sending there angst y teenage daughter to boarding school. On there trip, they stay the night at there relative’s home- in the same park the strangers are lurking in, and of course the carnage ensues.

Sadly to say, I was pretty justified to be skeptical. Strangers 2, truth be told feels nothing much like the first movie. Where the first was very suspense heavy, Prey at Night goes for a more gorier, over the top approach. The characters aren’t bad for a slasher movie but Christina Hendrick’s performance is too good for this kind of movie. The son and daughter annoyed the hell out of me at times. The movie is well shot and the over the top scenes are done well. Honestly, if you want a more 80’s style horror movie done today, this isn’t a bad pick. Why I’m kind of pissed is the first movie was suspenseful and had a kind of realism to it the sequel lacks. It is worth watching whether approach you prefer. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Slumber (2017)

You guys know I don’t always like to say bad things about the things I review. So I will start with the good things. For starters, the acting was great. Alice Arnolds played her role amazing as did the rest of the cast.

That is it, I am done. If you came here for a positive review stop reading. I have nothing left positive to say. I am about to list why you should not watch this movie. For starters, the story of sleep paralysis has been done in other movies. Those movies have pretty much universally in my experience done it better. They all also pretty much involve the same story. A family goes to a sleep doctor that tries to convince them its all a normal occurrence, finds out it is a demon and tries to help and oh yea, has personal experience as a child that a member of their family had a similar issue. In this case it was her brother.

The demon in this case also isn’t even scary, it’s just a shadow that occasionally pushes people in what looks like a special effect straight out of the 70’s. It is very badly done. Also it will sometimes lift them up almost exorcist style about a foot off the bed, also badly done. Most of the special effects are badly done. Oh, and I can’t forget to mention the tip off on the demon comes from a janitor that our main character knew was stealing sedatives from the hospital but she never said anything about because she is apparently a horrible doctor.

Now the ending. In the next paragraph I will spoil the ending. I will post a couple of pictures to break up this paragraph and the next paragraph. You have been warned, after the pictures I AM GOING TO SPOIL THE ENDING IN THE PARAGRAPH AFTER THE PICTURES, STOP READING NOW TO AVOID THIS, AND MAY THE GAMING GODS BRING YOU GLORY.

Ok seriously, last chance to avoid me ruining this ending…and here we go. The ending is god awful. Basically we get the family in a small country home where they attempt to save the families little boy, because despite the entire family being tormented by this demon the little boy is really hated by this thing. So they decide to send the daughter off with the sedative thief on a car ride to protect her while the rest stay behind to protect the boy, which hey fair strategy. During all this the demon mostly attacks the good doctor while everyone else is slowly driven off the deep end. He posses the sedative thief’s grandpa because he owns the house, I guess and he escaped him once before and delivers a sick headbutt to the good doctor and attempts to kill the boy. At the last second she grabs a kitchen knife and stabs him. Thats how they kill the demon, a damn kitchen knife through the heart of gramps, who tells her she did the right thing and now he can finally get a good nights sleep.

You didn’t think that was the end did you? Oh no, we fast forward to a beautiful hotel room and a Skype call between the good doctor and her husband and daughter. Things are good they are playing a game things are grand. Until the lil one starts humming a lullaby, mom freaks out and hubby says he can’t do this anymore and the camera swings around as two guys in lab coats rush in and the big reveal is, she is now in the nut house. Yup a horrible kill scene for the demon and a horrible twist ending that wasn’t even needed that is meant to leave you wondering, is she there because she killed a man, or because she is obsessed with this demon and her job? Thanks for reading this long, so long, and may the gaming gods protect your slumber.

Red Sparrow

red sparrow

Normally I don’t really like spy movies but I’ve heard such a strange spectrum of things about this movie I had to check it out. The trailers made me think it was going to be a boring piece of Oscar bait, I was slapped out of that delusion about twenty minutes in. I heard it was practically a Black Widow origin movie; not really but I get why some could think that. So why was I so into Red Sparrow?

Dominika is a promising Russian ballerina whose career is cut short after a accident leaves her leg scarred and broken. Desperate, failing to make ends meet and care for her sick mother, her uncle provides her a path. Aid the Russian Intelligence agency by getting close to a CIA man and search out a mole in the upper echelon of Russian government. Become a Sparrow, the perfect seductress to gather information, but Dominika quickly learns the horrors of the business as she sacrifices much of her humanity just to stay alive…

I was genuinely enthralled by this movie, because I couldn’t completely tell where Dominika’s allegiance lied until the end. Jennifer Lawrence is talented as hell, playing a cold, broken character that is somehow vulnerable and scared throughout. There is some really disturbing moments that are really well done but I don’t recommend the movie if you shock easy. The acting is really good but I warn you, while interesting, the movie feels long as hell. I recommend it if you want a different kind of spy thriller with great acting and some hard WTF moments. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

It’s a Disaster (2013)

download (8)

This is an interesting movie, basically a couples brunch gets pretty weird. One is a new couple, he a teacher, her the one that has a horrible taste in men. Another couple is forever engaged and twist, she won’t set a date. Watch the movie, you will understand why, seriously I wanted to punch this guy in the face. He is a paranoid conspiracy nut. We also have a couple that is, ok them I can’t explain without spoiling stuff.

The brunch actually starts pretty ok, until things aren’t ok. We find out the couple throwing this usual brunch are about to get divorced. So when the cable and stuff start going out it is assumed this is just a petty move to be vindictive. This is not the case however. What is actually going on is the our brunch happens to be taking place in the blast radius of chemical weapons. America has been attacked.

The weird part of all this? The movie is a comedy. Quite a decent one I might add. The movie isn’t amazing by any means, but it is worth a watch. There also some pretty good plat twist that I won’t spoil. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Predator, trailer 2

I came back on one hell of a good day; we got a really epic new trailer for the fourth Predator movie. I liked what I saw for the first The Predator, trailer 1 but I love the second trailer much more. The tone reminds me a lot of the first movie, including the crude joke on the bus. The Predators themselves look incredible. So far, I totally dig the story idea but as I stated in the last trailer review, I’m not a fan of the title of the movie but that’s just a weird hiccup from me. I’m excited as hell to see some badass action and some epic level gore this September, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Leprechaun in the Hood

leprachaun 5

I love the Leprechaun movies, even 4 where he went to space. They’re fun trashy kind of horror you clearly aren’t meant to take serious. Leprechaun in the Hood is precisely what you think it’s going to be but holy crap does it go beyond that. It begins with the story of a pimp played Ice-T who comes across the stone statue of the Leprechaun in a old subway tunnel and after besting him and taking his magic flute, turns the Leprechaun into stone and becomes a rap mogul. decades later we find a struggling motivational rap group who are trying to win a contest and when miffed by Ice-T’s MacDaddy, they bust his house up, take the flute, and inadvertently get hunted by the pissed off pimp and Leprechaun.

As I said, the premise is exactly what you’d expect but it goes deeper than that. While the characters talk like its a live action Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas , there’s horny cross dressers, the Leprechaun gets a fondness for weed, there’s scandalously clad demonic rap video girls, people getting there innards randomly blown out and the movie is utter batshit insanity and I love it to death. After watching the rage inducing The Devil Inside , this was a huge breath of fresh air. If you like hilariously bad movies, I encourage you to watch this all the way through the end credits but if you want anything remotely quality or serious, turn away. My the gaming gods bring you glory.

Unfriended: the Dark Web trailer 1

Why is this a thing? I know we live in a digital age and there are plenty of opportunities for horror in that age but I give up when you have movies based off social media or Skype. I will say the second movie has a interesting premise and I’m glad it’s not a ghost story, but I can’t the trailer really wowed me. I’d watch it on Netflix or something like that but wouldn’t pay full for it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.