Movie Review – Page 98 – Savior Gaming

Some things I’m pumped for in 2018

2018

So we all have that one form of beloved entertainment we have, whether it’s book, movie, game, music, or madness fueled clog dancing while singing Shirley Temple tunes (don’t judge me man). So I wanted to share some of what I’m pumped for in 2018. In no particular order, let’s begin with…

aquaman 1. Aquaman- if you caught our reviews on Justice League (2017) , you’ll know our favorite part was Aquaman. On top of that, I love Black Manta and I can’t wait to see these two badasses duke it out on the big screen.

2.We happy few- ever since I first saw the trailer for this trippy, unsettling game that looks like a much more survival oriented Bioshock, I was hooked. Like maddeningly so.

3. Halloween 2018- I miss Michael Myers and I was thrilled Jamie Lee Curtis is returning but even more exited original Michael Myers Nick Castle is reprising his role. Is it weird this film redcons every other Halloween film but the original, yeah, but I’m willing to see what’s to come.

4. Code Vein- a game styled like Dark Souls with a beautiful anime art style and vampires. Just hell yeah.

5. Black Panther- Granted, I’m pretty hyped for all of the Marvel movies of the year but I have a soft spot for Panther. He was one of my favorite parts of Civil War and best of all, the movie comes out right next to my Birthday so even better.

These were just a few quick things but I’m sure more will come up through the year. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes all around.

Bright (2017)

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Bright is another Netflix movie that I really need to stop underestimating. The movie of course isn’t perfect, and Will Smith basically just played Will Smith again as he always does. The story is also quite predictable to the point that I knew the ending about 30 minutes in and that is never a good thing.

All that aside the movie has a pretty original idea for movie in this day and age. Instead of the usual cop movie on Earth we have an Earth where humans orcs and elves all exist side by side, but in a rather nice twist they always have. Magic is greatly condemned however as about 2000 years ago a dark figure attempted to conquer the world using it. The orcs are basically regulated to being viewed as 3nd class citizens because they sided with the dark one. It is also quite implied that racism doesn’t exist so much as discrimination against species does, where Elves see themselves superior everyone and orcs being pretty much the lowest and humans somewhere in the middle.

Will Smith returns to work with his partner that happens to be the first ever orc police officer which you can imagine does not make the other police happy, all of which are human. Will Smiths character is also not happy since he was shot on duty while his partner bought a burrito and the suspect escaped. No the movie is not perfect, but the action is nice and for those that care to look it is quite thought provoking, but not in your face thought provoking. It is all pretty subtle while the actual story of them attempting to stop rogue elves from recovering a magic wand to revive the dark one to take over the world. This one is worth a watch, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Devil’s Rejects

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There is very few times in film where the sequel is absolutely better than the original. This is one of those times. With a better characters, story, music, and a darker, more intense situations elevate this to a pretty memorable, and disturbing western horror movie.

Rejects begins with the Firefly family’s homestead getting raided by the police in a violent shootout, lead by Sheriff Wydell whose brother was killed in the last movie. With there mama captured, Otis and Baby are on the run and trying to find Captain Spaulding, while getting there kicks off by terrorizing and torturing a traveling country group. Wydell, filling with rage begins losing himself as he starts going down his own dark path as he tries to kill the rest of the family.

As I said in the intro, pretty much everything got a lot better this time time around. While Otis, Baby, and Spaulding are horrible, unlikable people you do see the humanity in them by the end, while Wydell is a decent lawman who loses his by the end. The 70’s music and gritty cinematography add an extra layer to the movie. Bill Mosely stole the show for me as Otis, who reminded me of the late Charles Manson in his malevolent, satanic nature. Yes, this movie is vulgar as hell and incredibly disturbing and intense but damn it is a great movie that will leave you breathless by the conclusion by far it’s the best film I’ve seen from Zombie. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes to all.

House of 1000 Corpses

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I grew up a 90’s numetal kid that I still love to this day, one of my favorites being Rob Zombie. As well as being a numetal fan, I also love horror so when I saw the trailers for Rob Zombie’s first horror film I was full of bright, cheery, optimism. What came of it?

House of 1000 Corpses is essentially Rob Zombie’s grungier, more vulgar take on Texas Chainsaw Massacre. People break down on the road in the middle of nowhere and are at the mercy of a family of madmen known as the Firefly Family. The most famous character of this family is Captain Spalding, a clown who runs a strange sideshow attraction.

I have to be honest, though it has become a cult classic over the years, I can’t say I like House of 1000 Corpses. Some of the imagery is cool and I do appreciate the throwback to old school horror exploitation, I felt there wasn’t much to differentiate it from movies like TCM, except the vulgarity which there is a shitload of. I can’t really recommend it unless you like Rob Zombie as a artist, other than that, skip to the sequel. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alienate (2016)

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I am just going to be 100% honest with you. This movie is one of those movies that is a complete failure that could have been a damn good movie. The story is basically about a man obsessed with his work that leaves on a business trip pretty much as his marriage fails. The down side? There happens to be an alien invasion. Now He struggles to make his way home as the world falls apart. The invasion itself is pretty smartly done. While planes are knocked out of the sky and something is placed in the water to pacify the population people panic.

The down side is I am pretty sure this movie was made by a bunch of students that got some funding and new actors willing to work for free and experience. The acting wasn’t all that good, but that could be because the script itself was pretty lackluster. The special effects also left much to be desired. The movie it self pretty much served very little purpose except to exist. That being said, the movie has a lot of potential. The story had potential and with some time it and the characters could have been turned into something memorable and the invasion itself was one of the better thought out plans I have personally come across. In the end it is simply a B movie that may be worth checking out,but don’t expect a great or even a good flick. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Piranha 3D (2010)

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This movie is a classic B movie. It has stars you know, but not really anyone huge. Like that fat kid from stand by me that was in sliders (Jerry O’Connell) and Christopher Lloyd playing a crazy seeming fish doctor. It has a story that blatantly makes no real sense, but has a slight ring of seems plausible with prehistoric fish being trapped in a sort of cave that are released into a lake that go on a feeding frenzy. What is the only thing missing? A huge party full of college kids, naked women, booze and badly done deaths with mountains of death. Actually, that is pretty much the main plot of the story.

See while all this is going on Jerrys character is pretty much this movies version of the guy that started Girls Gone Wild and he is at this lake for spring break to throw a party with barely legal girls to shoot his new video, and everyone wants in. The fish just weren’t planned on. The story is barely passable the acting is exactly what you would expect and the movie is pretty much about parties and death. It is simply pointless fun, death and women.It is a fun watch tho, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jaws: The Revenge

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Remember how I said Jaws 3 was almost the worst Jaws movie? Here is why. They decided there needed to be a 4th one, titled Jaws the Revenge. It is pretty much universally seen as the worst one, and no aside what some think ‘Cruel Jaws” the movie about a tiger shark is not actually a Jaws movie despite some areas marketing this Italian film as such.

With our kind sheriff dead and his family moved down to the Caribbean after many years have passed we find that one of his sons has become a ocean researcher. And wouldn’t you know it, a giant man eating Great White Shark is hunting him. The movie looks nice and the acting is solid. That kind of is where the good parts end. The story is more out there than the last and it may be the most pointless sequel to ever be created. Tho I do have to admit the ending it self was fun, the series should have ended with Jaws 2 and I find myself desperately hoping a 5 or a reboot never finds its way to creation. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Zombeavers

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The title says it all. The poster says it more. This is a movie about friggin zombie beavers. 3 sorority sisters go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway but it just so happens the local beavers ran afoul with some toxic waste and became zombies.

I don’t care what anyone says, this was a fun B movie. There’s plenty of one liners, blood, boobs, and bad language to get a few good laughs. Once you see a zombie beaver jump out of a wooden floor and chew a guy’s nuts off, you can officially say you probably saw everything. Of course the acting ain’t great but it gets the job done and the effects alone are funny with obviously fake beavers and blood that looks like cherry Kool Aid. It’s a fun movie for the horror fan that needs a laugh. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jaws 3-D (1983)

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There is just so much to hate about this movie. Even the title sucks. Tossing that “-D” after 3 wasn’t clever, and the 3-D aspect wasn’t even done well. Jaws 3 was almost the worst Jaws movie ever made. Almost.

This time around a baby great white shark swims into a soon to be open park and they of course decide that despite one never having survived being in captivity they are going to keep the little guy. P.E.T.A. is gonna be pissed. Anyway after a bunch of this mom shows up and wants her kid back, which honestly I am not even sure sharks do. All hell soon breaks loose and she kills a bunch of people, even shatters the glass in an underwater tunnel. The movie is ridiculous from beginning to end makes very little sense and as I said before the 3-D aspect isn’t even well done. If you want to see all the Jaws movies watch it, but don’t go in expecting all that much besides a body count. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sausage Party

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This was a weird ass way to start a night. It looks like a children’s movie and even sounds like one at first with upbeat song and dance number but then I realized it was so much more than that. Sausage Party is the story of food at grocery store awaiting to be taken away to the “great beyond” over the 4th of July weekend. For them its heaven, or is it once they realize the “gods” aren’t kind and in fact slaughter and eat them because, you know, food…

I know I’m labeling this review a comedy. In fact, if you enjoy Seth Rogan’s other comedies, you will love this, but I enjoy the movie strictly for it’s brilliant satire and some deep questions. Being a fat weirdo from Scranton, I eat quite a bit but I can’t say I ever thought of the pain and suffering of food. Some of the scenes have a gruesome, and heinous feel to them, even though it’s just a potato getting peeled or a hot dog getting boiled. Because of it taking place in a grocery store, we get to see how all the food interacts with each other, a cleaver metaphor for the different races we have and at the end it all blows up into a argument over god and heaven. I applaud it for making me think rather than laugh, which sadly I didn’t do much of except for some outrageous scenes halfway through and up. All in all, it was a cool movie with damn good animation that dared to be different and I say give it a shot. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.