Category: Opinion

Evil Bong 2: Devil’s Harvest

evil bong 2

Also called “King Bong”, we have the sequel to Evil Bong. Oh boy.So we join our stoners again after Alistair saved them from Eebee, the Evil Bong. Alistair is called by his old friends because they are suffering from bizarre symptoms from getting high like one dude who has constant munchies, another who won’t stop humping shit, and another who randomly keeps passing out. So randomly the dude who delivered the bong in the first one comes and some how we find ourselves going to a mysterious island to confront the ex boyfriend of Eebee the Evil Bong, King Bong and yeah…I laughed my ass off how fucking stupid this movie was but that’s the fun. As I said before in my previous review of the Evil Bong series, don’t watch this expecting a high brow comedy. If you enjoy dumb shit for the sake of dumb shit, you’ll have a blast. I know I did. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sega Forever ESwat

I honestly never played this for the Sega. I had heard of it, just wasn’t my scene honestly. Must admit it was kind of neat to finally give it a shot. I also will admit I didn’t like it. Nothing wrong with the game. Sound is what you would expect. Controls just fine, looks solid enough. I’m just not a fan of police games or movies admittedly. They all just seem the same. Anyway, by all means give this a shot. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory

Hunger Games

hunger games book Something about the upcoming holiday made me think of the amazing book and the lame ass movie. Yes, I said it, the first movie sucked. Seriously, I almost got me and a friend kicked out of our local movie theater because I was that pissed. I’m going to predominately focus on the book, but oh I will get to the movie at the end.

Katniss Everdeen is a pissed off, quiet, depressed seventeen year old girl living in District 12 in the post-apocalypse of Panem.  Each district provides a service to the tyrannical Capitol that reigns supreme and every year, to prove there might and superiority, they hold the Hunger Games. Two tributes, one boy and one girl from each district are placed in a game for all to see where the only victor is the child who manages to kill and outlive the others. Prim, Katniss’s little sister is chosen but Katniss takes her place alongside Peeta Mellark, a handsome, kind young man who showed her mercy years before in her darkest days. Katniss is a survivor though and skilled with a bow, but will that be enough to survive?

Ok, so I am a huge fan of the book trilogy. I seriously devoured the book page to page when I first read it and still held up after a few rereadings which is impressive. Here is two reasons why I hated how it was adapted: the book was in first person and almost nothing was as I imagined it. As I said above, Katniss is a quiet, introverted young woman so the first person perspective added depth and melancholy where needed; during the movie there were times she acted bizarrely. If you read the book, it may make sense but as a casual movie goer it may make you ask WTF? Next, a lot of this wasn’t how I imagined. Much like an experience with the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the story in the first Hunger Games gave me hard, visceral images without really giving them to me, making me imagine them rather than washing the page in fictional blood and guts. The movie doesn’t show you jack shit but you get a nice assload of shaky-cam. Two huge gripes I have is that for a district riddled with poverty, coal dust, and starvation, our lead actors look pretty damn well fed and ugh- Peeta your damn family can barely afford food but you can gel your hair, bullshit ahoy!  And the second thing, the final monsters got WAY bitched down from the book and on top of that, the CGI effects for them look like shit. I do enjoy the music in the movie and Woody Harrelson is awesome as Haymitch but that’s about all the good I got to say. Please read the book trilogy. Best wishes, may the gaming gods bring you glory and may the odds be ever in your favor.

 

5 great stories from DC new 52

jla

The new 52 comic run brought us some cool new ideas as well as introduced me to a lot of new characters I feel in love with and even helped reshaped the way we viewed some of them. Working my way to number 1, here’s my list of 5 favorite DC new 52 stories starting with…

new 52 shazam 5. Shazam (volume 1)- I’m not a magic fan but I do love Black Adam, who stole every panel he appeared in for me. Menacing, intelligent, and powerful, he was a great way to start Shazam’s origin. After reading this, Adam became a favorite of mine.

new 52 suicide squad 4. Suicide Squad: Kicked in the teeth (volume 1)- I borrowed the first 3 volumes of the new 52 a year before the movie came out and absolutely devoured them. I loved a story based primarily of villains kicking ass and spouting dark 1 liners. Also, King Shark rules!

new 52 flash 3. Flash: Gorilla Warfare (volume 3)- I love Grodd. I love the Rogues. This book boils down to Flash and the Rogues teaming up to stop Grodd and his ape army. It’s badass and ends with a awesome fight and a Easter egg I loved.

new 52 aquaman 2. Aquaman: The Trench (volume 1)- Like many people, I never thought into Aquaman much. To quote Batman, “Arthur Curry, I hear you can talk to fish.) But the gorgeous artwork and epic fight got me on board instantly. 1 superhero vs a army of mutated piranha people, what’s not to love?

new 52 batman 1 1. Batman: Court of Owls/ Night of the owls (volumes 1 and 2)- It’s not everyday a great Batman story comes out that has nothing to do with Joker. In fact, this story brings the history we thought we knew deeply into question and not only is Batman and the Bat-family at match by these creepy, damn near unstoppable assassins but they truly test what Batman stands for and that is the sign of a great story.

Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Kerbal On Consoles Finally Fixed?

Is Kerbal Space Program finally fixed? Well not quite, but news this week from their official update at http://kerbaldevteam.tumblr.com/post/167097693084/ksp-weekly-expedition-1 reveals it will be by the end of January 2018.

Now I will admit, I am jaded. The game is fun even in its current and broken state. Waiting over a year for it to be fixed has been very frustrating to say the least, however recently seeing why the wait should be worth it.

http://blitworks.com/kerbal_space_program/

Blitworks was brought in to essentially rebuild the game on console from the ground up and the loud and clear update to it as well. The real question is will this be worth the wait, and will it finally be fixed? Hopefully we will see soon. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Scary Movie

Scary Movie

Ok, so once upon a time, before I became Torsten V I had a stick up my ass about horror. I didn’t think horror and comedy could blend together, like Fettuccine Alfredo and Rocky Road ice cream; separately great but together you get the worst kind of diarrhea the devil couldn’t imagine. When Scary Movie debuted, I was high on the Scream trilogy and was pretty pissed about having a movie satirizing it. Well, in school I heard how hilarious I was and really had nothing to rent from Blockbuster that weekend so there I went- and I loved it.

Essentially the movie is mash up of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer, with jabs at such 90’s hits like The Blair Witch Project and The Sixth Sense. Seventeen years later, some of the references as well the movies it is based on may feel dated but if you grew up around then, you’ll get a good laugh. The Comedy is crude but I don’t know what you were expecting walking into something like this. I had a lot of fun with it and it holds up well years later and multiple rewatches. Best wishes, may the gaming gods bring you glory, and WHATZ UP!

Is 4k that big of an upgrade?

The question I see often now that the new Xbox is out is simple. Is 4k that big of an upgrade? A few of my personal friends ask me this question because honestly I am one of the only ones that actually own a 4k t.v. in fact according to some estimates only 16% of American homes have one ( http://advanced-television.com/2017/05/26/16-us-households-own-a-4k-uhd-tv/ )

And the short answer is yes the difference between 1080 and 4k is obviously there. You can see it. But is it massive? My last television was a 32 inch 1080p and my new one is a 42 inch 4k HDR beautiful beast of a machine. And I will admit there is a substantial difference between the two. That being said when we jump from the old school tube sets to HD was huge. 1080 to 4k, not so much.

It looks great. I suggest everyone gets one but honestly don’t expect a massive upgrade. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Batman: Arkham City

arkham city

The follow up to Arkham Asylum royally kicked the notches up when it came to scope and gameplay, but it ain’t perfect. I would say Asylum was a 10/10, Knight a 9.5/10, and City a 9/10. By no means horrendous, but still my least favorite of the three.

The begins with a bang, Bruce Wayne is arrested during a press conference protesting the formation of Arkham City: a huge, contained part of Gotham acting as a massive prison for all of Gotham’s criminals from the common thugs to the Super villains. The head of Arkham City, Hugo Strange, knows Wayne’s true identity as he tells him how he will make Gotham a better, safer place without Batman with the mysterious Protocol 10. So it’s up to Batman to face off against a city in the clutches of a three way gang between Two-Face, Penguin, and a dying Joker who requires Bats help, injecting him with his own tainted blood to ensure Batman’s help. It’s a race against time to save the good, the bad, and the insane from Strange and his dark benefactor lurking behind the scene.

I love the story as it first stood. Arkham City the best rogues gallery of any batman game I’ve ever played facing off against Two-Face, Penguin, Mr Freeze, Clayface, Rhas al Ghul, Solomon Grundy, and Deadshot to name a few. Mark Hamil and Kevin Conroy are amazing as always as Joker and Batman, with all around great voice acting. The combat is much more fluid this time around and being able to add gadgets into my combos was friggin sweet; I loved the gliding mechanics for getting around Arkham City. Then we come into some issues with the Riddler and Catwoman. shit. The Catwoman sections on there own aren’t bad but I hate how they were integrated into the game after the Game of the Year edition came out which kinda kills the flow of the game for me. And the Riddler stuff ranges from cool to flat out, blood boiling annoying and oh there is a shit ton of it. So if you don’t like collecting shit- oh well. Another pet peeve is that find things to complete the side missions are a major pain at times. You either have to wait a lot or randomly find things along to continue them, which thank god they fixed the mission for Hush because that drove me crazy. Overall Arkham City is a really sweet game with some drawbacks but a lot of fun. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

Elite Dangerous Federation Ranks?

Lately I have been playing some Elite Dangerous and I decided I needed to see the Sol system. I knew the money grind was real and heard rumors the rank grind was pretty bad, but had no clue how bad it was. Also here is a pic of a random planet.

So I am in the Sothis system bouncing between there and Ceos. Its quite popular since its a short jump and they feed each other data delivery missions. It is pretty easy to stack 20 missions, many times without even board hopping. It is just so damn boring and it takes so many missions to reach a new rank. Also here is another photo.

Someone did the math and it takes around 1000 missions to reach the max rank and even if it goes perfectly it would take around 8-9 hours. Realistically tho it would take closer to 20. And of course that still leaves the empire which doubles that.

Granted you are in no way required to do both or even do either. You aren’t even required to do anything really. But it can be a huge pain in the ass. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox

flashpoint paradox

Another great comic I wanted to read and one of Flash’s greatest stories that inspired much of season 3 of the show as well as rumor has it is looking up to being the focus of DCEU’s solo Flash movie.

We join Flash, Barry Allen, as he goes about his normal life as the Scarlet Speedster. Fastest man alive. Life is ok, but could be better. Barry’s driving force is the death of his mom Nora, the death that put his dad away for a murder he never committed. A conflict with Flash’s greatest nemesis, Eobard Thawne- Reverse Flash, brings Barry the oppertunity to have his dreams comes true: Thawne gives Barry the chance to travel back and save his mom. He takes the chance and saves her, causing one huge bitch of a paradox. Barry wakes up one day and discovers himself powerless but happy, but the world around him a dark mirror of itself on the brink of WW3 between Themyscira and Atlantis, where Bruce Wayne was shot dead in Crime Alley as a kid and Thomas Wayne became a malevolent, cruel Batman, and Superman was found by the US government instead of the Kents and experimented and locked away. Barry is powerless and alone, realizing his dream meant the suffering of millions.

I have to say this was my favorite DC animated movie so far. Batman was my favorite part, twisted and sad. If you love Flash or are one of those people who think comic books or superheroes can’t tell great stories, I urge you to check this animated movie out on Netflix. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.