Phantasm

phantasm I will never look at jawas the same again…Phantasm is a cult late 70’s horror movie about a kid named Mike who saw too much. Mikes a normal kid who’s had it rough, his parents recently passed away and for now he lives with his older brother Jody, who besides dealing with his new responsibilities and the death of his parents, is dealing with a friend’s death too. Mike shadows Jody and his best friend Reggie as they attend the funeral. Suddenly Mike sees something disturbing during the funeral procession that none of the adults seem to see; the elderly undertaker lifts the casket out of the hearse and carries it under his arm like it was nothing. And he knows he was being watched. Mike tells Jody what he saw but Jody just assumes his little brother was just pulling his leg. Mike almost believes him until the nightmare, which provokes him to visit the mausoleum of the cemetery; only to be nearly killed by a mysterious blade-pronged floating orb. But even that deadly sphere is nothing compared to the Tall Man, who has it out for Mike and his family…

I fell in love with Phantasm at the tender age of 18 when I first had the pleasure of watching it. It’s not a slasher movie, or a ghost movie, or a even a creature movie. With a simple premise of a kid seeing something bizarre grown ups don’t believe, the movie blows up into a wild mix of compact inter-dimensional zombies, a killer flying ball (that has one of the greatest kills I’ve ever seen in a horror movie), other worlds, a bad ass villain whose almost immortal and immeasurably powerful, and a great ending that makes you wonder what the fuck you just watched. Angus Scrum as the Tall Man is intimidating as hell, wearing a eerie grimace as he slowly walks, rarely speaking in his deep, gruff voice. I love the keyboard score with the suburban atmosphere and the use of darkness. It may not be hugely action packed but visually it’s interesting and the plot is just strange but original. If your a horror fan in the making and your tired of the staples of conventional horror, definitely check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory and beware the Tall Man…oh god beware the Tall Man!

 

American Poltergeist

american poltergiest

Lizzie Borden took an ax, gave her mother 40 wacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41. No,  this movie this movie isn’t about Lizzie Borden exactly. This takes place over 100 years later when the house is left to a woman that married into the Borden family and searches down her step daughter, the last of the Borden blood line. Its a pretty interesting concept that sadly doesn’t really come out well mostly because of laziness, not sure if that laziness came from writers Nicole Holland and Mike Rutkowski or directer…well Mike Rutkowski.  Much of the movie involves actors staring off into space until something happens or  possessed killer standing there with a ghost behind her back until the ghost raises an arm with a knife and the possessed woman attacks. In another scene a crowbar is used to bust into a room yet the very next scene shows the door is undamaged. It was a strong concept with some pretty bad follow through. It is also full of haunted house cliches just piled onto each other many times simultaneously. One scene has spinning clock hands and flashing lights leading into the eventual revelation to the others that one character is adopted and that is why her brother is actually safe. The topping of this shit show for me was the horrible sounds of hitting widows with axes and a crowbar and getting a weird thudding sound when they don’t break, I assume because of the demon that is stalking them but suddenly won’t come into the house and finish them off. As always thanks for joining me and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Area 51

a51 I must admit, when it comes to this game I’m pretty bias. I love aliens, government conspiracies, zombie plagues, The X Files, and Marilyn Manson, so to have a gave that encompasses all these things hooked me. It’s the only game I’ve ever collected 100% of the hidden collectibles. Of the PlayStation 2/ XBox era, I feel Area 51 is a well overlooked title that at the very least deserves a PlayStation 4/ XBox One re-release.

Area 51 is the story of a monstrous outbreak in the deepest depths of the legendary facility; something is loose and spreading a mutagenic alien virus that turns it’s victims into vicious mutants. A Haz-mat team is dispatched to quell the outbreak and discover the secrets of Area 51 and the deadly Pact man made with the Greys. You play as Ethan Cole, voiced by David Duchovny of the X-Files, a member of Bravo team and soon to be lone survivor.  One by one Cole’s team is killed gruesomely by the forces at hand. When he finds Delta team, there almost seems to be hope until in a final stand against the mutant horde, the creature that began the madness emerges, invulnerable to gunfire, strong and armed with unhuman technology. Again, Cole manages to nearly escape Area 51 until a trap is sprung, his body comes crashing down stories, and Cole awakens to a mutant biting him and suddenly Cole ceases to be fully human. Mutating horribly, he sees a green light surround the body of one of his dead teammates as it levitates and begins speaking to him in a eerily distant voice, that of Edgar, amazingly voiced by Marilyn Manson. Edgar guides Cole towards his only salvation while dragging him through the lies we’ve been raised to believe.

The best part of the game is the voice acting by Duchovny and Manson. Cole begins and ends every chapter with a intimate account which drives the story forward and sets a grim, desperate tone to the narrative. Manson as Edgar is creepy as hell and his presence is ambiguous, not knowing even up until the end if his intentions are for good or evil. The human weaponry is meh but the primary alien weapon, the BBG, is fun firing bursts of alien energy bubbles that latch onto its target and pop; for aiming there’s a niffty feature where you can pull a special laser sight that can bend around angles and corners and ricochet the shot from behind cover. Best of all, it doesn’t require ammo, it recharges fairly quick on it’s own. Being a mutant is fun- increased strength, ability to launch parasites from your hands to steal health, and even the ability to spread the plague, and these abilities stay as long as you slay everything around you with your clawed hands. The hidden myths of area 51 are original and weird ( like aliens being responsible for the JFK assassination with super soldiers created from telepathy and matter manipulation-yep) So what’s the flaw you ask? Well the ending sucks…pretty bad. No real final boss, just a quick beat the clock rush and a cutscene and that’s it. You will have questions but good luck getting those answered 12 years later.

I love the hell out of 90% of this game and I definitely at least recommend watching a play through at the very least. As always may the gaming gods shine glory on you and you’ll know the truth of the moon landing after this shit.

The quality of Horror Movies

Horror Montage

Let me first start this off by saying there are some absolutely amazing horror movies out there. From the old classics to modern movies like Insidious. That being said there is an over abundance of extremely bad horror movies out there. ( if you read my blog even semi regularly you know I have been running into them constantly on Netflix) For some reason it seems like most horror movies made in the last 5 years are simply not creative and don’t seem to have any formula short of throw good looking chicks, random jocks and a nerd into some weird situation involving ghost or demons so most of them can die. Occasionally slap some nudity into the movie slap a seemingly random name on it like “the house hell forgot” and see what happens. Now i’m not sure that’s a real movie, I think i just made it up now but hey who knows. Not that i mind that formula either, the 80’s horror genre is basically full of it and many of them are done really well. Now days it just seems like they make these movies and realize people will watch them chasing that nostalgia trip we all love but can never quite find.  That being said its not all negative. There are some great ones out there. For example Cabin in the Woods was amazing and  Slither was a very underrated movie that fit nicely into that comedy horror niche. As always thanks for listening to me carry on, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Satanic

Satanic

Satanic (2016) was written by Anthony Jaswinski and directed by Jeffrey G. Hunt is the story of four friends that stop off in L.A. to view some occult tourist spots. Like all movies like this, it eventually leads to witnessing an excommunication from some satanic cult that for whatever reason had to be done topless. All the characters seem to fit the usual stereotypes. The jackass jock, the nice girl next door, the goth chick and the dude that seems like he is trying to fit in with the goth chick. Of course after helping the homeless girl that now has no place to go. As always it turns out they would have been far better off leaving her on the side of the road waiting for her alleged bus. The movie wasn’t very well received and I can understand why, it was largely just a bunch of horror movie cliches tossed together with cute chicks to round out the experience. Its currently on Netflix if you are interested in seeing how it all plays out. Thanks for being here and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Red Faction 2

rf2 COD before COD (sigh). First, Red Faction 1 and 2 have almost nothing in common except that they are first person shooters about rebellions and the tiny thread of nano experimentation. Red faction 2 is about a mad tyrannical dictator named Chancellor Sopot who is making a army of Nano-tech super soldiers and the band of his of enhanced soldiers gone rogue join the Red Faction. You play as Alias, the demolitions expert of the squad. The first half of the game is pretty routine, get to evil guy and blast his ass…which Sopot’s death is hysterically over the top, especially considering the fact Sopot is a spiting image of Sadam Hussein (this game came out somewhere between late 2002, early to mid 2003). Second half of the game is a split between the squad, when Molov, the head of the squad plans to take over the Commonwealth where Sopot left off and it’s up to Alias and the remainder of the Red Faction to stop him. Red Faction 2 is an inferior sequel. Whereas the first game had more freedom to jump into vehicles and go, the second limits it to a few stages here and there. Also, the first game saving was totally up to player and could be saved anytime, anywhere in the game. Two breaks the game into lengthy stages, which makes saving kind of tricky. The only ability you get as a android is the ability to activate night vision which doesn’t really come in handy too often and can hurt your eyes after a while. The weakest feature is the karma system, you get green stars for good deeds or hidden things and red stars for just killing random people like a dick. I’ve never seen the good ending; the bad ending is kind of funny. As for the goods of the game, Lance Henriksen voices Molov, which is the best voice acting of the game. The shooting is solid and the Battle Armor is a fun ride. Overall it’s a meh game. Fun once but the replay value ain’t really there.

Coffin Dodgers

coffin dodgers

I won’t lie, I bought this game because I heard it was an easy platinum and it was on sale for like $3. I wasn’t expecting much, and at a 28.6% platinum rate i knew it wouldn’t be hard. The same day I bought it the platinum popped and I must admit I felt a little dirty. The game isn’t to bad despite the low price point and simple trophies. There was definitely some lag and graphical glitches and the other drivers seem to have far better reach and aim with weapons but honestly its not overly frustrating or even hard to deal with. As far as Mario Kart rip offs go this one isn’t hard and has a surprisingly fun story that entails the Grim reaper collecting souls from a retirement community where it is decided they will race their motorized scooters where the winners get to keep their souls. There are only about 4 groups of maps with 3 tracks in each,all of which are pretty nice to look at. Colorful and filled with things to see and the sound while not high end is still pretty pleasing. All things considered at full price of $12 it is a worthwhile purchase if you just want some quick fun and and easy trophies. Thanks for joining me and may the gaming god bring you glory.

Red Faction

rf1 Red Faction, a game ahead of it’s time, holds up remarkably well remastered on PlayStation 4. Red Faction is the story of Parker, a minor on Mars working for the oppressive company Ultor. The minors are slaves under the heavily armed guards, living in crappy conditions while dying of a mysterious plaque. Revolution strikes in the name of the Red Faction led by Eos, aided by technician turned traitor against Ultor, Hendrix. Parker takes part in the rebellion, and the struggle to survive everything Ultor has to throw at him.

Many of the mechanics of the game still hold up great today, including the shooting, driving, and platforming. The graphics can be ify, even after a touch up. The voice acting is meh to fair with the exception of Dr. Capek, creator of the plaque and the monstrosities you come across later, his brief performance is genuinely creepy. There are genuinely pain in the ass parts of the game including a boss battle against a giant asshole robot that rivals the difficulty of the bosses of Dark Souls- warning he’s a pain in the ass. Gryphon- screw him too. The ending is a tad disappointing but not the worst. If you see Red faction on a Psn sale, pick it up if not for the good story but for the great couch Co-op multiplayer, sometimes it’s just better the old way.

Alien Trilogy

alien tril People that know me best know I’m a humongous Alien fan. Aliens scared me out of bath time as a kid, and screw your boogeyman, I was afraid of a nine foot tall, drooling, acid blooded, phallic two-mouthed monster that wanted to lay eggs in my chest…also the people that know me best would tell you this explains a lot. When my dad bought me a PlayStation, I received three games with it- Tomb Raider, Spyro the Dragon, and Alien Trilogy. By today’s standards, Alien Trilogy’s graphics are complete dogshit. Watching playthroughs on YouTube, I laughed my ass off as a full fledged adult. The gameplay runs similar to classic Doom, not very original but trusty at the time. The motion tracker is a nice addition to to the HUD, even making that iconic, chilling beep when something comes at you. So what’s the story of Alien Trilogy? Well, it’s a disjointed clash of environments either from the Alien Trilogy or inspired by it, which rationally ain’t such a bad thing. Alien and Alien 3 only had one  Xenomorph each and no weapons to real fight with, whereas Aliens there was a horde of the bastards and ammo aplenty; what sick bastard would want to try playing Alien: Isolation on a PlayStation graphics and mechanics? Cheat Codes were a fun addition to the game, giving you unlimited ammo, unlimited health, unlocking every level which gave us the Queen’s liar. So many memories man… what sticks out to me even a decade and a half later are the death scenes. The screen turns to a screen of running blood and every each means of demise changes the foreground: alien death- alien mauls Ripley, roaring at the screen with a bloody face. The Queen stands behind Ripley, tearing her savagely in half with it’s four arms. Trilogy is not the best but if your a huge Alien fan with a PlayStation , give it a try and may the gaming gods be with you all.

Platinum Trophies

Trophies

Now i’m no expert on this subject, i only have two of them, One for the PS3 version of the walking dead season 1 and one for Final Fantasy 15. I have never much been one to hunt down all the trophies in a game, I grab them when I can but never really went to far out of my way. The walking dead hands it out for beating the game and the FF15 trophy I got from doing stuff I wanted to do anyway. That being said on occasion I have done a little exrea searching and have a few games i’m just short of getting the platinum for that honesty I honestly will probably never finish getting. Not because they are to hard ( tho some are) but because I really do not have the willpower to get the job done.  That being said, I think they add a ton of incentive to play games multiple times and search for everything you can possibly find. There are whole communities dedicated to collecting them and that community always seems pretty open and inviting and that to me is never a bad thing. Happy hunting guys, as always thanks for reading and may the gaming gods bring you glory.