Broforce

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What would you get if you combined the 80’s classic Contra with a ton of 80’s action movies? You get Bro Force. Its a side scrolling action adventure with various characters each with a different weapon such as a machine gun (Rambo style) or a cyborg that looks strangely like Robocop. The controls and graphics are both Nice and they really nailed the classic contra feel as well as that classic contra difficulty. I picked it up as a free game way back for the PS4 when it was a months free game and it was truly one of those finds I’d have missed otherwise as its not the typical game I play. Of you get the chance to pick it up on same it would be a decent buy, have fun and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bethesda,game of thrones?

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A long time ago Bethesda was approached about making a Game of Thrones open world RPG, which they chose to make Skyrim instead. Now all this time later target may have leaked a new Bethesda game. A page on the site being reported by Forbes and other places that retailer Target has. A page simply titled Bethesda Game of thrones. Whether or not this is a mistake or intentional or even real remains to be seen but I for one would love to play it. Have a good night and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban(explained badly)

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So here we are again, another explain Harry Potter badly post because honestly anyone that would read this has already seen the movie by now.

Our journey starts with our Abused wizard Harry Potter lying about his school beating him with a cane to his even more abusive ant that has an unhealthy obsession with dogs and abusing them with copious amounts of alcohol. Potter “unintentionally”  blows her up like a balloon and floats her down the street. Realising there would be severe repercussions he runs away and accepts a ride from some less than savory folks on a bus where the minister of magic forgives him.

On the train ride to school we discover the true knowledge of the the Potter universe. Things that steal souls won’t go near gingers. True story, go back and watch. Anyway eventually we get to see Harry Potter bully the local rich kid with snow balls and an invisibility cloak and continues on the quest to avoid Sirius Black until it becomes a quest to kill Sirius Black which then leads to the discovery that Sirius is his loving god father that was framed by a dude named Wormtail and with a name like that they really should have known. Anyway after some time travel everything ends up being pretty good. Go enjoy the movie, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wizards Wheel

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As always with my mobile reviews this will be short. This is not the worst mobile game out there, but it isn’t that great either. You recruit characters and battle enemies in the woods to buy new equipment and buildings for your town where you can buy more items and equipment or use the stables to quick travel further into the woods.

You 2 options for combat are to either boringly choose your own attacks which gets old quickly or let the game auto battle for you, which gets boring even faster. While some may enjoy this game I don’t see it being very many. As always thanks for coming and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets (Explained badly)

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The Chamber of secrets is the 2nd movie in the adventure of young wizard Harry Potter, and since we have all seen the movie by now I shall now attempt to give a short summery of the movie, very badly.

After an escaped slave warns Harry not to go to school. Our abused young wizard is then rescued from home by 3 gingers in a stolen car and taken to a run down shack.

A short time later a low level government employee loses Harry in the black market before Harry and his friend Ron miss the train and assault an ancient but murderous tree. Our duo narrowly escape expulsion only to spend the movie hunted by a snake while incompetent teachers once again rely on small children to save the school from a long thought dead terrorist leader,whom every one denies is alive.

I hope you all enjoyed this, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mercenaries Saga 2 3ds

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Mercenaries Saga 2 is the story of Claude a Captain attempting to help the prince after an assassination attempt leaves him poisoned and attempting to find him the antidote. The story is pretty run of the mill but acceptable. Graphically the game isn’t impressive but its a 3ds game after all.

The battle system itself is a tactical rpg much like Final Fantasy Tactics and the story scenes play out in much the same way. The game also allows you to do a sort of training missions to level up which I highly encourage you to do. Other than that there isn’t much to say about the game, it is simply an average tactics style rpg, remember to stay safe and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Aliens Vs Predator (2010)

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Well this game kinda bummed me out. I watched playthroughs for the earlier games in the series and was blown away by how true it looked. Get to this and…bummer. So we play a campaign as each race: Colonial Marine, Alien, and Predator. Of the three I’m going to straight up tell you Predator is best, followed by Alien, then the marine. The plot is basically the movie- there’s a pyramid underground and greedy intergalactic shenanigans ensue. From a story point I enjoy the story of specimen 6 in the Alien campaign best- a alien smarter than most that escapes captivity and kicks ass all the way to Queen status. Marine again is the worst.

Since I started with the Alien, lets just bang it out: it’s a stealth game. As an alien you are fast, crawl on walls and vents and have claws and tail at your disposal. I like the realism of being able to break lights for dark cover and the way your prey reacts to your growl and how not moving screws with them finding you via motion tracker. Many of your kills come from long, prompted stealth kills that look epic but sure as hell ain’t stealthy and ain’t fast. Good chance your “stealth kill” will get you killed. Your claws and tail are helpful to a degree but only against one, maybe two enemies at a time max. Movement is fast but can easily get disorienting and sometimes the controls are unresponsive which sucks. The final boss is two regular predators, followed by an Elite which all three are pretty wimpy; seriously they keep running from you while pot shooting with their shoulder guns. Remember the 5 D’s of dodgeball and you’ll be fine.

Predator, the best of the three campaigns. You play as an elite Predator hunting the fabled abomination that is the Predalien, which is the best final boss of the game. You have the wrist blades, shoulder gun, smart disc, and combi stick as well as proximity mines, voice changer, cloaking device, and three vision modes. I would have liked if the movement was a little bit more nimble but it’s fine. It’s the most fun in the game, stalking idiot humans and killing then again with horrific stealth kills that suck at stealth but these are quicker and frankly more badass. Sadly, it ain’t long.

Last is the marine. Gulp. You get a pistol as default and can carry two weapons at a time, plus flares, grenades, and motion tracker. So apparently you must be really badass because you can block the alien head on and actually shove them on there asses- sure and I crap solid gold. Seriously, after a while it starts to feel like a shitty boxing game invaded my FPS game. What about the predator you wonder, how do you stack up against him? Well you don’t. Literally the predator has less time in your campaign than Joker in Suicide Squad.  Also, strip club full of aliens- I’m not fucking kidding, a strip club full of aliens, poles, kinky music and strobe lights, the whole shabang. Final boss is Bishop…yep and pretty much it’s the dumbest boss fight I ever played.

Overall, you can skip this game but if you have to get it, least it’s better than Colonial Marines.

Harry Potter And The Sorcerers Stone Explained badly

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The first Harry Potter movie. This one takes me back, had an ex that used to babysit and the kid loved this movie and would watch this and Spider-Man on repeat. Having never read the books at that point (feel free to insult me in the comments for that blasphemy) I didn’t really know what to expect. And yes you are going to get reviews on all the movies before to long.

Lets be honest, the movie is an instant classic. Years from now when we are dead our grand kids will be watching the 22K remaster of it in their holo decks like in Star Trek. I’m not going to give you a standard review here because that has been done to death, instead i’m going to explain the movie as badly as I can.

This is the story of an abused orphan from under the stairs that finds out his parents were killed by wizard terrorist. After being recruited to a special school for the gifted Harry is dragged into a conspiracy to steal a magical stone of unknown powers and must outsmart every adult in Hogwarts to stop a turban wearing teacher from reanimating the dead.

Ok that was probably bad, feel free to add your own spin on this one, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alien and Predator: Fire and Stone

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Fire and Stone is a four book Prometheus, Aliens, and Predator crossover from Dark Horse comics that spans multiple stories of multiple characters. It begins immediately after Prometheus with a crew going to find what happened to the doomed ship on planet LV-223. They begin to find the strange creatures on a planet they thought barren- the products of the Engineer’s black pathogen. As they go deeper and an experiment with the pathogen is conducted on a synthetic named Alden, they come across the horrors of the Xenomorph. After a massacre by the aliens, comes a threat by a mutated Alden and the Predator lurking in the background, seeking vengeance on the Engineer that wounded him.

So this is kinda a weird story to cover because there’s so much going on and each story is remarkably different. The Prometheus book and Predator book, were tied for my favorites. The Prometheus book is straight up mayhem and wickedly bad ass monsters

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The Predator book is a cool revenge of the strange alliance between a Predator and a human, ending in a sweet fight between Predator and Engineer. If I had to pick a weak link it was the Aliens book, which really didn’t have many aliens in it, but the story was just kind of meh. The art is the best thing about the series, every book has it’s own unique art style and are gorgeous to behold. Overall Fire and Stone is a cool crossover with great artwork but it’s not my favorite Alien piece and doesn’t answer much of the questions Prometheus asked. The series goes: Prometheus-Aliens-Aliens vs. Predator- Predator.

 

 

Animal Crossing 3ds

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Oh animal crossing. A game where you may or may not be enslaved by some weird animal cult.  That aside the game is a lot of fun. From collecting all the fish and insects in the game to digging up fossils and meeting the neighbors there are plenty of things to do. For the more decorated minded as you take out bigger and bigger loans to make your house bigger there is an astronomical number of different furniture to collect. The game moves in legitimate real time, holidays fall on real life holidays for example and the town reacts accordingly.

For those that aren’t a fan of collecting things honestly you will probably have a bad time here. Outside of collecting and decorating your house these games offer very little, tho I hate that stuff and have had a great time with the game. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.