Alien Vs Zombies

alien vs zombies

I don’t say this often, but I will start out simple. This movie is fucking stupid,and not in a fun way. The premise is cool, an alien shows up on vacation after years of loving the earth from a far. So dad sends him here on spring break. Upon arrival he discovers the world is in ruins, zombies are everywhere and all hell has broken out. To avoid spoilers I will say things are not as they appear. The pop culture references are mildly entertaining, for example the reference that Snooki is indeed an alien and the reference to another movie called Earth Girls Are Easy was fun. Aside from that this movie fails on pretty much every level from acting to visuals to the script itself. This movie is better off avoided, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wes Craven Presents They

They

They is about a college student that grew up having night terrors that return after a childhood friend calls her freaking out. He explains that They only come out at night, hate light and they mess with electricity and that babies sense them and cry. He then proceeds to shoot himself in the diner.

Slowly as the movie goes on Julia moves from thinking her friend was insane and very sick to thinking maybe he wasn’t wrong. Things start turning weird for her and her night terrors return. She even wakes up in her bathroom and attack her boyfriend not realizing who it was. The movie is largely a psychological journey like many of Wes Cravens films. The acting is nice and visually there is nothing to complain about, tho while interesting I did find the movie a bit boring for much of it. I won’t say not to watch it, but it won’t be for everyone. As always may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

 

Sharknado 4

Sharknado 4

Sharknado 4 set a new standard for ridiculous and corny B movie. Any regular reader of the blog know how much I love a good B style movie and this is no exception.  The visuals are solid but corny and blatantly intentionally off. The story involves someone coming back from the dead as a cyborg 5 years after the last movie an now has a damn light saber that comes out of her arm where her severed hand used to be. Also in an even more and bizarrely nonsensical twist the Sharknados are now catching on fire or are full of rocks which the sharks also take aspects of their appearance in, for example the sharks in the sharknado have rocks bulging out of them.

This another great example of a movie series that is meant for a very specific audience and most people will simply sit there asking themselves wtf did I watch. For the rest of us, enjoy, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sharknado 3

sharknado-poster

It seems like each and every Sharknado movie gets more and more ridiculous.  This one starts out with Fin Shepard saving the President ( this movie is full of cameos. From Bill Engvall to Chris Jericho and many others in between. They even recreate that famous flag raising photo from Iwo Jima.

86f0d1fef907d24b99e343e3623967a3.jpg  I have said this in previous reviews and I will say this again, SyFy has without a doubt mastered the B movie genre. The Sharknado movies are not what anyone would consider a “good” or “well made” movie. But they are fun.

Another fun part if the movie for example is when a sharknado hits the Daytona 500. Cars wrecking everywhere huge explosion and a plane crash into a river. Now i’m not why this was important or why it was done. But after the crash Ian Ziering and Cassie Scerbo exist the water and slow motion. Ian is surprising ripped for his age and Cassie is basically in lingerie and by the gaming gods she has a body that won’t quit.

All that being what it is any fan of the old school B movie will absolutely adore these movies. Many people however will probably hate it. As always may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Amityville Horror (2005)

amityville horror

Hey who wants to go back in time and watch Ryan Reynolds play a complete psycho and possibly murder his family? Did you say yes to that question? Than skip this review and just go watch the movie. Still on the fence? Keep reading.

There have been many iterations of the Amityville Horror with varying degrees of accuracy to the actual events. If you want to research the real story feel free, but its pretty boring and has very little in common with the movies. With that being said lets move on.

The special effects are pretty well done as is everything else you would want in a movie. By now we all know the story pretty well, family moves into house, shit starts getting weird, little girl gets an imaginary friend, things slowly get worse, wife realizes something lives in the house. Dad tries to murder everyone. However the real star of this movie and what truly makes this movie from typical demonic presence in a house movie into the realm of classic is Ryan Reynolds. From the onset he plays his usual self. a Fun loving guy that cracks jokes, and slowly descends into madness. And he does it amazingly well. Little things like simply being a bit snippy with the wife, and moves on towards insomnia. But at each stage he never truly lets go of the last, His performance was far beyond what I expected. As always, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

IT review,2nd opinion

pennywise-it

So me and Torsten went down to our local theater today, our first visit in fact. The Iron Warhorse Movie Bistro had a really old time feel with old photos of our home town in Scranton Pennsylvania. Great theatre with probably the most comfortable seats I have experienced in a theater. I snapped a couple photos for your enjoyment.

Their walls are lined with similar photos and I absolutely loved the person touch they had. The staff was friendly as well. If you are in the area check them out. Now on to the review.

First I have to admit, the first time I saw a picture of Pennywise and then the first trailer for the film, I was expecting a sub par movie. I was wrong. The acting was great, and if you are a fan of the Netflix show Stranger Things you will love how this movie feels. The acting is great and I can’t say there was a weak performance. The special effects looked great and the music score and sounds went very well with the movie itself.

The opening scene of course is Billy and George building the boat, and while George goes into the basement the suspense starts with a great scene and moves eventually into him chasing his boat down the street. As shown in the trailer he slams into a saw horse and his boat goes into the sewer. This is our first real taste of the new clown, and he is creepy as hell.

Throughout the movie many people let out small yelps or gasp as various scenes startled many. While some of the scares come from jump scares they are all pretty well placed and the movie did not rely on them to much. The movie does have a few comedic moments but they aren’t as plentiful as I had feared and they never took away from the sense of dread these kids had in the movie. I highly recommend seeing this in theaters if you can.

I shall now say something I NEVER thought I would say. This movie is superior to the original in ever single way. I loved the original and I loved Tim Curry. And if you are looking for a similar movie and performance you won’t get it. You should not compare one to the other as they take totally different ways of telling the same story, but this movie and Bill Skarsgard are am all around better horror movie. As always thanks for reading, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sharknado review

sharknado

Ok lets be 100% honest. This isn’t exactly a good movie. Its campy as hell, the dialogue is down right painful at times and they don’t even attempt to take the CGI serious. And I loved this movie because of it. Sharknado wasn’t scary or well written, it was just fun.

This movie reminded me of an old 80’s B movie. Fake blood is used by the truck load when a shark being flung through the air rips off a guys arm. Old people panic when sharks are tossed into swimming pools seemingly at random by tornadoes.  A gas can and some matches tossed into the pool to deal with them somehow ignites the entire damn pool into a fire storm for no other reason than it will look cool. This is definitely a niche market that most people don’t care about but the Syfy channel has mastered, and the gaming gods thank them, and may they bring you glory.

Dead Island PS4

dead island

There is one thing I have to get out of the way here before we move on to the actual review.

Seriously tell me this is not one of the best songs in a video game possibly ever? I don’t even like this kind of music but here we are.

Anyway back to why you are here. This game looks pretty good for an updated PS3 game and we all know how I feel about the sounds. The game takes place on the island of Banoi, a beautiful lush tropical island.

This game was pretty divisive for 1 reason and 2 reason only. Many people believed the game had no story really which was weirdly hidden. Not that it was hidden well, you will find most of it with just randomly exploring and doing side missions. The problem came from the fact that many of the side missions are easy to miss. It is also very easy to simply run around killing shit and never even noticed the other stuff. The story itself  is fun and engaging and I highly recommend checking it out, if only for the sure fun of smashing zombies with tons of melee weapons. And while you are at it, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Little Evil

little evil

Little Evil is a horror comedy new to Netflix that admittedly I watched for two reasons, 1. Adam Scott is hilarious. 2. step dads being abused by children is funny. This movie did not disappoint me at all. The movie starts with the step dad being legit buried alive. We then go back a week to see how we got here. The acting is top notch, and has a few cameos I won’t spoil. As the movie moves on it takes an odd but fun turn. For example in retaliation for burying him alive step dad fills the kids floaties with sand and sends him down a water slide because hey, the kid is literally the Antichrist. There is much more to the movie but I really don’t want to spoil such a great experience.

Comedy horror movies are usually pretty bad but this one gets my full recommendation for all comedy or horror fans. It pretty much has everything you would want with the exception of a standard horror movie sex scene but honestly its not even needed. Go give it a shot, an may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Within (2016)

within

I watched this movie as a sort of joke. The idea sounded so basic I figured I would watch this have some laughs at the bad movie, come on here bash it a bit and move on.

Here is the very basic plot. A man moves his daughter and new wife to a new place for a job and away from the daughters sorted teenage past. The family soon finds out about some murders and strange disappearances in the home and odd things start happening. See pretty basic. The acting is nice, the script solid and the visuals and sound are well done. While I admit my purpose was to insult this movie I can’t. Its not perfect, and the start is pretty slow and at times seemingly without purpose. Tho with those complaints aside, the movie was still solid enough to be worth watching and the ending was one of those rare things I did not see coming. That alone was worth the time to me. So get out there and give it a watch, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.