Tag: Reviews

Satanic

Satanic

Satanic (2016) was written by Anthony Jaswinski and directed by Jeffrey G. Hunt is the story of four friends that stop off in L.A. to view some occult tourist spots. Like all movies like this, it eventually leads to witnessing an excommunication from some satanic cult that for whatever reason had to be done topless. All the characters seem to fit the usual stereotypes. The jackass jock, the nice girl next door, the goth chick and the dude that seems like he is trying to fit in with the goth chick. Of course after helping the homeless girl that now has no place to go. As always it turns out they would have been far better off leaving her on the side of the road waiting for her alleged bus. The movie wasn’t very well received and I can understand why, it was largely just a bunch of horror movie cliches tossed together with cute chicks to round out the experience. Its currently on Netflix if you are interested in seeing how it all plays out. Thanks for being here and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Coffin Dodgers

coffin dodgers

I won’t lie, I bought this game because I heard it was an easy platinum and it was on sale for like $3. I wasn’t expecting much, and at a 28.6% platinum rate i knew it wouldn’t be hard. The same day I bought it the platinum popped and I must admit I felt a little dirty. The game isn’t to bad despite the low price point and simple trophies. There was definitely some lag and graphical glitches and the other drivers seem to have far better reach and aim with weapons but honestly its not overly frustrating or even hard to deal with. As far as Mario Kart rip offs go this one isn’t hard and has a surprisingly fun story that entails the Grim reaper collecting souls from a retirement community where it is decided they will race their motorized scooters where the winners get to keep their souls. There are only about 4 groups of maps with 3 tracks in each,all of which are pretty nice to look at. Colorful and filled with things to see and the sound while not high end is still pretty pleasing. All things considered at full price of $12 it is a worthwhile purchase if you just want some quick fun and and easy trophies. Thanks for joining me and may the gaming god bring you glory.

Gallowwalkers Review

Gallowwalkers

Directed by Andrew Goth and starring Wesley Snipes I went into Gallowwalkers (2012) with the expectation of a solid but unremarkable movie. After all its a zombie westernwith Wesley Snipes. So 30 minutes in something doesn’t seem right. So I google this movie and see some horrible reviews. As I continue watching and inch my way closer to the halfway mark I slowly realise this move is not getting any better. At this point Snipes i shooting up a prison with very little explanation as to why the flash back is happening, and these lades ample bosom are not doing a very good job keeping me interested.  You know how bad of a movie it has to be for chicks in Victorian dresses to be the best part of a movie and still have the movie be such a pile of shit I don’t want to finish watching it? Seriously Snipes what the hell were you thinking putting your name on this? Now at about the half way point a bunch of people get the short drop and a sudden drop treatment by whom I assume is the bad guy shot by Snipes in the prison complaining that him, his men and his whore all came back to life but his son did not. Finally some explanation. I’m not going to bother describing the other half of this damn train wreck. And I would recommend  you don’t try to find out. This movie never really gets any better and has few if any redeeming qualities. Thanks for reading, and best wishes from the gaming gods.

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 review

hellraiser 2

Another classic based of a Clive Barker story with the screenplay done by Peter Atkins and directed by Tony Randal. Hellbound takes place directly after the first hellraiser with Kristine now in a mental hospital which should be no surprise. In typical sequel fashion while she begs and pleads for an item to be destroyed so her evil stepmom cant come back from the dead no one believes poor Kristy. You know, until the even more evil occultist head of the mental hospital lets a crazy dude slice himself open reviving Kristys evil  step mom back then later letting another solve the puzzle once again releasing the Cenobites which as far as i can tell are former humans that basically became demons. The movie itself has some flashes of nudity, plenty of death and enough fake blood and dead bodies to drowned a small army. Honestly sitting here watching the movie i couldn’t really see anything that made the movie special even for its time. Worse still it seems even the directer and screenwriter didn’t seem to care enough to do anything new or interesting to the point that even the formerly dead step mother claims the rules of the fairy tale have changed with her no longer just being the wicked step mother but now the evil queen.

I wont go as far to say the movie was bad despite poor ratings on both Rotten Tomatoes (48%) and IMDb (6.5/10) the movie just was not special in any way. Pinhead and the Cenobites aren’t bad villains, they simply don’t seem to be very well utilized this time around.  They come across as a mix between Freddie Kruger and some weird carnival freak show which honestly have simply been done better by others, tho done well enough for there to be 9 movie in the series. As always thanks for joining me, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Egg,Inc Mobile

egg inc

Egg Inc is a mobile game that involved a ton of tapping on your phone to raise eggs. As you raise more and more chickens you gain more and more money. Every so often you can pretty much promote your eggs so they bring you even more money. I wouldn’t call the game fun, but its a good way to kill some time when you are watching a movie or just sitting around and for the most part you can get away without spending money which I find pretty rare in mobile games. I know this is a bit short but hey, its a mobile game. Thank for the time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Arcade Archives: Contra

AA Contra

Another long title that as implies is the port of an arcade version, not the NES version well grew up playing. What you basically lose here is the famous Konami code and what you gain are superior graphics and sound. It is worth pointing out tho that there is a code for 30 lives that’s quite similar to the classic code. The levels are as far as i can tell exactly the same and still quite the pain in the ass, but weirdly if you re on the top of a level and jump above the screen you can’t fire your weapon which is quite annoying and can get you killed. The levels are pretty fast paced and by todays standards pretty short which really isn’t  problem for an $8 retro game. It also comes with the American and Japanese version as well as a high-score mode and trophy support for those that care to hunt the few of them down. While its a nice stroll down nostalgia lane i have to admit for whatever reason the game just doesn’t feel as fun as it once did. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

ACA Neogeo Super Baseball 2020

super baseball

Ok that may be the longest title I have ever had to type out. Seriously the title of this is actually the name of the game. Anyway a friend of mine posted this game was coming out and I thought well damn, i loved this game as a kid I need to pick this up. So i picked it up, waited the 30 seconds it took to download and I have to say it held up pretty decently for an old arcade game. Yes this is based off an arcade version, not the Sega Genesis. the graphics aren’t half bad and the sound held up fairly well also. There re a few issues that drive me nuts tho. They for whatever reason kept the normal arcade time limit when making choices. Which in an actual arcade is no big deal, dealing with that shit at home is super annoying. But wait, there’s more, every 5 minutes the game gets interrupted until you ” insert coins” and hit continue which more than a few times happens in the middle of a pitch which was annoying as hell. When all is said and done its a solid port of the game and aside from a few issues its worth the 8 bucks. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

All Cheerleders Die

all cheer. die

Directed by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson All Cheerleaders Die is a movie about, well cheerleaders. Look i won’t lie to you people, basically i hop o Netflix or Hulu, pick a random movie in the horror genre and watch it. Sometimes I sit down with my laptop, get some writing done or work on my game and enjoy a movie. Other times I end up watching shit like All cheerleaders die. I didn’t pay for this but i still want my money back. The first 30 minutes or so is bitchy but hot cheerleaders going about their lives of back stabbing and being a dick to the less popular kids. The only bright sides or the chicks are pretty odd and at least a few of them are lesbians together. There isn’t a lot of nudity but it would be inappropriate for minors. Shortly after the 30 minute mark  a football player has enough of  a cheerleader berating him in front of everyone and punches her which results in a car chase and a car full of cheerleaders seemingly dead. After some accidental witch craft with some magical rocks the girls are back and that is around the time all sorts of weird shit happens. 2 girls switch bodies,people start dieng and i’m not sure if they are zombies or what the hell is going on,they definitely eat a  dude, well steal his life force or maybe both? Movie is weird. Seriously don’t watch it, or at least be drunk. As always thanks for coming and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Are “Classic” Consoles needed?

Nintendo classic

With the success of the Nintendo Classic and the assured success of the soon to be released Super Nintendo Classic I have seen the question a few times, are they really needed? At first it seems a silly question. Its a product people want that is easier and cheaper than hunting down and buying the originals.  Lets not forget there are other options as well with many of the titles included being available on various Nintendo consoles. Most people also own a laptop capable of using emulators to play these games (fill disclosure I do not advocate this and it is completely illegal if you do not own an original copy of the game) which raises the question even more, are these needed? My personal opinion, absolutely. Lets be honest here, while it is fun to hunt down your favorite games from the past, and feeling that nostalgia flow over you, it is very much cheaper and easier to simply buy a classic console. many of the games I grew up loving made it onto the NES classic and the SNES classic is also full of games I loved, from Super Mario World to Mega Man X. And sure i could go buy these system and hunt down these games that could easily take hundreds of dollars and probably even more hours of my time as opposed to one of these systems. My only real issue is how short of supply they are in to the point that many people never got to purchase one. Hopefully this time will be different, but I doubt it, As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Is Pokemon Go Dead?

pokemon go

The question has been asked many times, is Pokemon Go dead? For many people the answer seems to be yes, but i’m inclined to disagree. Sure it has died down from its popularity of last summer when thousands of people all over the world would congregate to one spot in hopes of catching that one elusive pokemon they wanted at the time. That being said i still know plenty of people that play, and the gyms by my house are constantly changing and i still see people daily walking around with their phones in their faces. I’m not ashamed to admit i also still play and now with the weather nicer will absolutely be going on the occasional pokemon hunt. I can’t really think the game is dead when millions of people in the world are still playing and the game is regularly updated with new pokemon and locations. While I admit I do miss the days of tons of people wondering around and forming little groups even with strangers to chat about what they hope the future of the game will bring or where a certain creature can be found, I still find it somewhat relaxing to just see whats out there. As always thanks for your time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.