Category: Retro Review

My Cousin Vinny (1992)

images

Another movie that most people consider a classic, and I am inclined to agree.  The story of two young men on a road trip in the wrong place at the wrong time down in Alabama. Not the normal Alabama by the way, backwoods corrupt everyone knows each other Alabama.

Enter  Joe Pesci, a New York lawyer looking to win his first case. The problem is he isn’t a very good lawyer. What will follow is a story of lies, mistakes, jail time and one hell of s wild ride where Marissa Tomei will do most of the work anyway all in name of finally getting married.

Admittedly this movie with anyone other than Joe Pesci and Marissa Tomei would not work. They just have an odd chemistry that made it work. The story while solid and a script that was fun was simply an average movie that was made memorable by two people that went above and beyond to make it amazing. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

The Patriot (2000)

download (1)

The Patriot is a movie about a family during the Revolutionary war. No stranger to war the father and head of the family Benjamin Martin really wants nothing to do with the war. Like many soldiers he has seen what it brings, the death and suffering and the many other hardships. This however causes some strife with his sons and many of the locals as his history is known and many view the British unfavorably.

During a very powerful scene this is actually shown as Ben votes against war with the British and then refuses to serve, as you will learn so do many of the people that favor the war itself.

So let us move on shall we? As we all know if he isn’t forced into this fight we don’t have a movie, and these bloody redcoats want his farm. Turns out Ben may set the standard for not to be messed with, but in case you haven’t seen the movie I will let you see for yourself. What follows is a tale of love and loss, strategy and betrayal and so much more.

This is however a period piece, and for people with no interest in history or just a general disinterest in that period much of the joy in this movie will be lost on you. This is a classic example of some will love this movie and others will quickly lose interest. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Final Fantasy Tactics (PlayStation One)

I have a history with this game. And that history is not good. See I got into a trap with the first battle that lets you save in between fights. I didn’t create a different save. Then i got stuck and couldn’t win..restart the whole damn game..then my memory card broke…then my PlayStation broke..then disk broke. Then my new disk didn’t work. This took about a year to straighten out.

After that year I was treated to one of the most glorious games ever created. The job system was put together to damn near perfection, with each one leading to a bigger and better one and each choice leading to a new tactical advantage or weakness.

The battle system itself requires strategy and thought and can be punishing to mistakes, but it is also fair and rewarding to good decisions.

The graphics for the time looked great and even now for a retro game are passable and fun to look at with sound that was amazing. But all that fails in comparison to one thing.

The story. This was easily the most mature story in the Final Fantasy world and to this day in my opinion still is. Two war torn countries killing each other for power, while the poor starve and the high born nobles struggle to win favor with the ruling class and consider the poor as nothing more than animals.

This game should not be missed by anyone, even people that don’t normally play this type of game should give it a chance. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Happy Gilmore (1996)

Adam Sandler day continues..Well i do two a day so I guess ends with Happy Gilmore. First off I just realised both Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore are over 20 years old. I also saw both of these movies when they first came out..I saw them on VHS…Yea that one hurts.

Anyway Happy Gilmore is the story of, you guessed it, Happy Gilmore. Wannabe hockey player that loves his grand mother. When she loses her home he weirdly discovers an undiscovered talent for whacking gold balls. And knocking people off roofs.

One day while hustling people for money at the local driving range he is convinced there is some big money to be made in professional golf, and he does want to get his grandmothers house back

Happy Gilmore is actually quite a bit better than Billy Madison. Plus it had a fight with Bob Barker and that was amazing.

Turns out while hockey players are great at smacking the ball great distances they don’t do well at putting. They also don’t do well at playing quietly games that don’t involve beating people up and throwing things.

His feud with “Shooter” McGavin may be one of my favorites in movie history, and if you somehow are an Adam Sandler fan and haven’t seen this one, you need to. Beat wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory

Billy Madison (1995)

Today is Adam Sandler day people. Well for me. I don’t know what the hell Torsten is doing if anything. He may be vanishing again for a bit.

Anyway this is the story of rich kid Billy Madison, who is as dumb as a box of rocks, a word he coincidentally can not spell since silent letters don’t even get added to the word as far as he is concerned. He did graduate high school tho since he dad paid his teachers to pass him.

One day while drunk with his friends and chasing an invisible penguin around on dirty magazine day he discovers his dad is retiring from running his business and his douchbag friend is taking over. Unless he can spend 2 weeks in each grade and pass.

This movie came out back when Sandler playing the same character was still amusing to every one it seemed tho admittedly I still enjoy his movies. The antics that follow suit range from childishly making fun of a kid stuttering while trying to read to strip study sessions and even throwing water on his pants in a heart touching moment when a kid pees his pants to save the child from being eternally mocked and made fun of.

Admittedly the movie is not very good. Its simply fun for people that enjoy that style of comedy. The story is simplistic as is the dialogue and at no point is it deep or thought provoking. It simply exist. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Beyond Oasis

Sega Forever strikes again with another classic for the Sega Genesis in Beyond Oasis. Once again this is a pretty faithful recreation. The controls work as well on the touch screen of a cell phone as well as it ever did on the Sega controller.

Graphically the game looks good and I didn’t hit any issues with slow downs or lag or anything like that. The sound also sounded good. If you enjoyed the original and want to play again now is the chance. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

In The Army Now (1994)

This movie has a special place in my heart, not only because Pauly Shore makes me laugh (and no I can’t explain why) but I did my basic and AIT at Fort Sill Oklahoma where parts of this movie were filmed. Was pretty cool to see the places the movie was filmed. Anyway on to why you are here.

The movie is about two losers that join the Army reserves because they really don’t have much choice after they lose their job. They also have no clue what they are signing up for. Besides Paul knows a pool boy, how hard can it be?

Turns out in a time of war in a desert country such as Chad,a water purification unit is highly likely to be called to active duty.

So these two idiots and their new friends from basic, G.I. Jane and G.I. dentist are off to the desert to clean some water and piss off some special forces.

I won’t spoil the story to much for you, the movie is honestly just some cheap laughs like most of Shore’s movies with a story that is decent but hardly anything spectacular. If you like comedies its worth a watch but most people should probably skip it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sega Forever ESwat

I honestly never played this for the Sega. I had heard of it, just wasn’t my scene honestly. Must admit it was kind of neat to finally give it a shot. I also will admit I didn’t like it. Nothing wrong with the game. Sound is what you would expect. Controls just fine, looks solid enough. I’m just not a fan of police games or movies admittedly. They all just seem the same. Anyway, by all means give this a shot. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory

Monster Squad (1987)

This movie is one of those classics from my childhood. A group of kids that love monsters and monster..movies…well shit this blog suddenly makes way more sense…

Anyway a group of monster obsessed kids end up befriending Frankenstein and attempting to prevent Dracula and his minions that include a wolf man, mummy and a creature from the black lagoon..I think. Was never really sure what the fish dude was…seriously someone let me know.

The movie was a pretty original idea, a group of kids must finish what Van Helsing started. With the help of a scary German guy they open a portal and fan himself will even make an appearance. This is a fun ride i suggest everyone takes. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Godzilla vs Spacegodzilla

This actually may be my least favorite Godzilla movie. It wasn’t so much bad as it was weird. The basic story is after the Godzilla Vs Mothra movie some of their genetics got into space,weird space things happened, and Spacegodzilla was created. They tossed in a baby zilla and a baby Mothra some flying robot with a drill. It was just all over the place.

Some psychics tried to control Godzilla with their powers. Another guy wanted to kill him. It just seemed like there was far to much going on.

The fight scenes however were pretty awesome and I have to admit the monster looked pretty cool. As I said, probably my least favorite Godzilla movie but still not really a bad movie. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.