Category: comedy

So like every horror movie before and after it, The Final Chapter wasn’t the final chapter for very long. In this case, roughly a year before the title became obsolete. Part 5 is considered by many the Black Sheep of the franchise and all considering part 6 wipes it out pretty much. Still, if you need a laugh, this maybe the slasher film for you.

Part 5 picks up with a grown up, emotionally and psychologically damaged Tommy Jarvis as he is taken to a home where people with psychological issues can get back into society. Tommy is nearly mute and can be pron to violent outbursts when fucked with, while being haunted by images of Jason. Tommy is here to restart his life but it ain’t easy; there’s rednecks that hate them for being so close, one of the patients is murdered by a deranged handyman who I guess really hated chocolate bars, and there is a killer on the loose…did Jason return?

Ok, spoilers, no he didn’t. For horror, this movie sucks. The kills are either lame or flat out funny as hell like a Michael Jackson wannabe getting speared in a portapotty. A lot of the dialogue feels like came straight out of a porno and there’s a lot of…nudity in it. The twist ain’t great and though I appreciate where the story tried going, it felt too clumsy for it to feel really effective. In the end, part 5 is funny  and awkward but that’s about it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory because damn those enchiladas!

Yep, this is a real movie. An old film partner told me about this movie back in the old days and I just laughed it off, thinking it was a joke- nope. 6 movies and a fucking versus movie against the Gingerdead Man. So, let’s get this outta the way, please don’t expect a chill-your-bones horror movie out of this. You will laugh.

So a nerd named Alistair moves into a cheap apartment with a group of stoners because he needs a place to study to get his masters and they need a roommate. As you’d expect, it ain’t the most helpful environment for Alistair to study in when everyone’s loud and high most of the time. Well the stoner’s have a great time when paranoid Larnell orders a rare bong. This bong ain’t no ordinary bong; once you toke is takes your soul and transports it to the Bong World, usually filled with murderous strippers. If you die, the Bong Eebee takes your soul. Suddenly, it looks to be up to Alistair to vanquish Eebee and save his friends.

Evil Bong…this movie is so fucking stupid I couldn’t help but love it. It’s absurd stupidity at it’s best. I saw a stripper’s boobs come alive and murder a dude; enough said. The acting is crap, the effects are crap, the music is stereotypical pot-head themes, but I love this movie. Check it out if you want a stupid laugh. Thanks as always and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jason maybe a heartless killer and hockey fan but his movies knew how to have fun a bit. Sometimes there’s just a crappy sequel that makes us laugh and makes us appreciate the scary shit a bit more. Here’s 5 of my picks in no particular order of fun horror sequels good for a laugh.

 1. Friday the 13th part 6: Jason Lives- The first movie that flipped off continuity and whatever realistic pretenses the series had by having Jason resurrected from the dead. The dark comedy moments are funny as hell and we get a decent end to the Tommy Jarvis arc. It was a hard pick between 6, 8, and 10 but 6 wins in my heart.

 2. Alien: Resurrection- “Resurrection” may have a curse when it comes to deeply terrifying horror franchises. The fourth Alien movie has a good concept but sooooo many WTF moments tossed in there and some pretty great moments of overacting. It can be a fun WTF movie if in the right mindset.

 3. Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows- I actually will defend this as a decent movie with some good heavy 90’s music in it and some creepy imagery. Sometimes the acting ain’t great in some places and one o two of the scares backfire which can be kinda funny. Me and my oldest friend had plenty of fun either laughing or decoding this sequel.

 4. Leprechaun: In the Hood- I hope this says it all, and if it doesn’t, allow me- WHY THE FUCK IS THE LEPRECHAUN IN THE HOOD?…one scene says it all, a bunch of dudes hittin a bong with the Leprechaun. Yep.

 5. Halloween: Resurrection- 2 words. All I need. Busta Rhymes. I’ve never laughed more at a horror movie than Busta’s crazy ass using kung fu on Michael Myers and cursing him out. You have to watch it for yourself to gather the absurdity of this movie.