Category: Horror

Christine

christine book

It’s been a long time since I did a dual layered book/ movie review. My earliest ones such as A Clockwork Orange , The Hellbound Heart , and Cujo were pretty popular. Since King’s adaptations are awesome once again, let’s look at a different kind of love story from the master of horror…

Arnie Cunningham is a typical nerdy teenager. He works his ass off to save money for college, is packed with extracurricular activities, and gets bossed around by his parents. His best friend Dennis is your typical good looking high school football player. One day while driving home, they stumble upon a peculiar piece of scrap- a red and white 1958 Plymouth Fury. Arnie immediately falls in love with the hunk of junk. Arnie goes out of his way to get the car from the old man who owned it and essentially he gives away most of his money for it. Dennis ,Arnie’s overbearing parents, and not even Leah, Arnie’s pretty new girlfriend seem to like his new car named Christine. Arnie puts every bit of his energy into the car, restoring her to her prime until the asshole bullies that plague him destroy Christine. Leveled, Arnie’s heart breaks because the car meant freedom, opportunity and in the weeks that lead there, Arnie grew a pair. But that was all gone, or was it? Christine rebuilds herself right before his eyes, and Christine wants to take Arnie for a bloody ride…

I love the book and the movie pretty equally but for different reasons. The book doesn’t really feel much like a horror story, more like a relate-able teen drama until the first death scene in the second act. The book goes into some way darker territory towards the end and I prefer that ending to the more “Hollywood” ending of the movie. Also the dude who sells Christine to has way more to do with the plot than the movie would have you believe as well as a pretty messed up backstory which helps Arnie feel more in danger later. The only drawback is that the book is much more of a slow burn which will turn some off but the payoff is well worth it.

The movie is one of Carpenter’s best in my opinion. Keith Gordon does an amazing job playing Arnie as a lovable but frustrated geek while the rest of the cast is solid. The effects are pretty badass, especially for the early 80’s, and Carpenter’s eerie electronic score is iconic. The scene where Christine rebuilds herself is my favorite. There are some haunting moments with the car that genuinely freaked me out and Carpenter is great at making her feel unstoppable. The only drawback I have with the movie is it feels rather short and bare bones compared to the book and I would’ve liked a grittier ending like the book had.

Regardless it’s a awesome story from book a legendary author as well as a legendary director and either way I can highly recommend it. May the gaming gods bring you glory and on Christine’s good side.

christine movie

Soul To Keep (2019)

Soul to keep is the story of a twin brother and sister that inherit a house in the woods. They invite some friends to come up and party for a bit. You know the horror movie deal, alcohol, sex, and drugs. Their grandfather that left them the house tho was a bit odd and for all their lives had a locked door that leads to the basement. Of course, it wouldn’t be all that long until they ended up down there.

In true horror movie fashion, there is a book that lets them summon a demon. Beelzebub to be specific.  They will, of course, try to do it and it won’t work. Until it does work and people start dying. Go figure right? Anyway, the movie isn’t bad up until this point, just a bit cliche. But things are usually cliche because they work. The movie is passable until you get to the final act where stuff starts happening in an  M Night style twist ending that makes no real damn sense. I won’t spoil it for you in case you decide to check it out but everything that happens is just ridiculous. Usually, with a twist ending you can go back and see the signs of these things coming and think well damn, why didn’t I notice that. That is actually the key to a good twist ending. That isn’t here tho. It just feels there for the sake of being there, and it killed what should have been a decent movie for me.

Not to be outdone, they ended it after the twist ending with another standard horror movie twist further cementing it as dead for me. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

My Best Friend’s Girl

My Best Friend’s Girl is another movie that was hit and miss with reviewers and fans. With a 14% on Rotten Tomatoes and 34% on Metacritic, it was enjoyed by 83% of people on Google.

The concept, however, is genius, I actually wouldn’t be surprised if someone had done this so they made a movie out of it. Tank (Dane Cook) a long time ago went on a horrible date. Eventually, someone asked him to do it on purpose. Ever since then people would pay him to take their ex-girlfriends on the worst possible dates he could imagine to bring their ex-girlfriends to come crawling back.

Seriously one date he shows up drunk an hour late and takes a very Christian woman to a pizza place called Cheesus Chrust. The date last about a minute before she storms off.

His cousin, not by blood, Dustin (Jason Biggs) eventually has him take out this girl from work he loves. Alexis (Kate Hudson) is a pretty serious serial monogamist. This is where things go to hell fast. Tank ends up falling for Alexis after they end up hooking up and sleeping together. They also, of course, get caught by Dustin. I won’t go into any more detail because I really enjoy the movie and think you guys should check it out. The acting is great and the movie is funny. While many people Dane Cook isn’t a very good comedian, he is a pretty good actor. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Killers (2010)

Killers with Kathrine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher is a 2010 Assasin comedy that was met with some mixed reviews. for example, it got a 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, a 5.4/10 on IMBd but 89% of Google users like it. It also basically flopped in theaters with a 75 million dollar budget and a 98 million dollar box office.

The movie itself is about an Assasin, Spencer (Ashton) that is on a mission and meets a woman, Jen (Kathrine) that has just gone through a break-up and is on a family vacation. They quickly fall in love, get married and Jen never finds out about Spencer’s real job. They end up with the perfect suburban life. That is for the first about three years.

Around three years, Spencer’s old boss comes knocking and tries to drag him back into the business, and when he refuses a $20 million bounty is placed on his head and his neighbors literally start trying to kill him. Somebody has been placing sleepers in his life for years, and they are trying to collect.

The movie has its funny moments and of course, the acting is well done. I also enjoyed the entire concept and while the ending was pretty easy to see coming it was still pretty cool to see happen. This is one of those movies for fans of romantic comedies with a twist, it’s a great movie. For everyone else, maybe not so much. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

They Come Knocking (2019)

They Come Knocking is the story of a father that takes his two daughters on a road trip about a year after tragically losing their mother to cancer. The road trip follows the same path mom and dad took years ago and ends where dad proposed. The intent is to camp for a couple days then spread her ashes. Its not a bad trip, until some mysterious figures show up.

These figures turn out to be some sort of demonic presence that wants them to come outside or be invited in, because for some reason demons need an invite like they are some weird ass vampires. They can also take any form they want from your memories. They use this many times in an attempt to kill or kidnap the family. They can also make you see things that aren’t there.

I won’t give much more away that that because I won’t tell you to not watch the movie. It isn’t a bad movie there are just some odd choices that are never really explained. For example there is no real explanation on why these things are here, why they are harassing this family or any of the others or why they ending works out the way it does.

That being said, the movie is a nice family story (tho it isn’t by any means child appropriate)  about how they can come together and endure through adversity. I personally would not watch the movie again, but I can’t say I don’t recommend it.The movie just wasn’t for me. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Banana Splits trailer

I’m almost at a loss for words after this trailer. A few years ago, we were going to get a Five Nights At Freddy’s movie. Thankfully it got cancelled but we got this. I can’t say I find this the least bit scary, nor do I think anyone would, but I think this is going to be a great drinking kind of movie. The Splits look too goofy to be remotely taken seriously. Honestly, this looks like a Cartoon Network original horror movie they’d make for kids, but it’s clearly indicated as a R rated picture. As bad as it looks, I want to see it just to see how bad it will be. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Charlie’s Angels reboot trailer

I have to say, I wasn’t completely sure this movie was even real when announced. In our current entertainment world, nostalgia reigns supreme but after the epic failure of the last TV show reboot, I kinda thought the Angels were long gone. I guess not. Well, I can’t really tell if it’ll be alright but it does seem to have some camp which could be fun. I don’t want to shit on it mainly because I was a fan of the A Team movie and I get a vibe of it here. Regardless, I’m morbidly curious how it will play out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Office Leaving Netflix, in 2021.

Yes you read that right, Netflix is losing The Office. In January of 2021 when NBC starts it own streaming service because everyone has to have one of those now. It is one of the most popular shows on Netflix and you are quickly running out of time to watch it. It is a short year and a half away roughly after all.  Good luck finishing this one guys, I am not sure there is enough time. (this is heavily sarcastic) Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bioshock 2: Minerva’s Den

bs2 minervas den

I don’t really play many DLCs but if it’s a game I really love, I go all out. Minerva’s Den is a side story told alongside Delta’s story in Bioshock 2. We play as a Big Daddy named Sigma set off to venture into Minerva’s Den, the computer heart of Rapture. You’re sent by a man named Porter to search for the Thinker, which is said to be able to predict everything. It’s protected by the co-creator, Reed Wahl who’s gone mad from splicing…

I have to say there is some really cool new stuff in the levels. I love the Gravity Well plasmid, which has a awesome final form that can decimate a group of enemies at one. The addition of the ion laser is really nice too which is cost efficient when it comes to ammo and does quite a bit of damage. The Lancer Big Daddies are tough and filled me with dread each time I fought them. The story has a good twist at the end and its a pretty sad story. The only drawback is that it isn’t very long and there’s a lot of searching that can get pretty tedious. In the end, If you are craving more Bioshock this is a fun bite sized entry. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Bioshock 2

bs 2 A great lesson in life is just because that its better to have small flaws than fix them and break perfection. While Bioshock is one of my all time favorite games, Bioshock 2 had a lot to live up to. Let’s descend into Rapture again..

After the fall of Ryan and Atlas, a new force took over by means of Sophia Lamb’s “Family”, turning the Splicers and down-trotted of Rapture into a cult. Before Rapture’s decline under Ryan, Lamb had her exceptional daughter turned into a Little Sister, protected by Delta, one of the first Big Daddies. Lamb, using a plasmid to control him, makes Delta seemingly kill himself so she can experiment on her daughter more, trying to make her the messiah of the Family. 1968, Delta is woken up again from a coma by Tenebuam, feeling his Little Sister Eleanor call out to him. Can Delta save Eleanor from the clutches of her mother?

There are some tiny improvements to Bioshock 2 but it doesn’t hold a candle to the first. The Story, while fine, feels copy and paste in certain areas; what hurts it is the fact that the choices you make don’t carry the same weight at the end as they do in the first. Although the weapons themselves are bigger, they don’t seem to do the damage they did in the first game either. I do like the fact you can use melee attacks with every weapon and the drill does some heavy damage later. While most of the plasmids and gene tonics are carried over from the first game, there are new enemies including the badass Big Sisters who were a great addition to the series. The characters are pretty good. The graphics are a huge upgrade but I can’t help but notice that they try too hard at times to be creepy with the setting. It was cool to live as a Big Daddy and gather Adam with the Little Sisters but like much of the game itself, it does get stale. Things like hacking, photographing enemies, and tonic storage are really simplified  combined with much more straight forward missions makes the game lose some charm. In the end, Bioshock 2 is a good game that could have been great but still worth trying if you loved the first. May the gaming gods bring you glory.