Venom trailer 2

 

Venom trailer was pretty disappointing, considering we didn’t get a damn glimpse of Venom at all but holy shit the wait was worth it. The second trailer we get a lot more of the symbiote’s ability and the first image of him in all of his scary ass glory! I’m suddenly more optimistic, though I don’t know how they will get around the Spider-man stuff  but I’m no longer dreading it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ghost Team (2016)

ghost team

Ghost Team is an odd movie, it’s a comedy that isn’t funny but is not, not funny. The story is about a group of friends that decide to go on a ghost hunt, just like on their favorite television show. So they borrow ( well steal) some equipment, go to an abandoned place in the woods and start their hunt.

Things start getting weird pretty damn quick. There are voices, and images on cameras and electricity going on and off. Things are just horrible. It doesn’t take long for things however to get even worse.I won’t spoil that surprise for you tho.

The movie itself, isn’t bad. It does seem to try way to hard at times tho to be both edgy and immature at the same time and fails completely to do both. The movie simply isn’t good, which is quite upsetting for a movie with Jon Heder and Justin Long since both are amazing actors and are great in everything they do. Even in this they play their parts well, they simply weren’t given anything to work with. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled

wishmaster 4

Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled is the 4th and final Wishmaster movie, thankfully. Once again John Novak returns as the Djinn, and this one is a bit different. Still bad, still the same plot, but this time the Djinn tries to be nice to our chosen one with the 3 wishes. He still does the usual with everyone else, you know kills people while twisting their wishes or taking things way to literal with their wish.

The nudity is still here for I assume the same reason as the last one when it suddenly showed up, covering up a bad story. This time a woman (Lisa) is trying to help her boyfriend win a lawsuit after a motorcycle accident. Her lawyer that loves her gives her a gift that turns out to contain a stone that once again releases the Djinn. Lisa uses her first 2 wishes to unknowingly help her boyfriend and the third, weirdly creates a paradox. She doesn’t know the Djinn isn’t her actually her lawyer and wishes she could love her for who he is, which messes things up a bit since love must be given freely and only she could grant that wish.

The whole thing is convoluted and makes no real damn sense. Honestly I would watch the first 2 Wishmaster movies and pretend the other 2 don’t exist. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Wishmaster 3:Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001)

wishmaster 3

Wishmaster 3 brings the Djinn back again, tho  played by John Novak this time and honestly the change just isn’t good to me. In fact almost everything about this movie represents a huge fall about the movie for me, minus the fact that I am a dude and the nudity content shot up for the next 2 movies for some unexplained reason. I can only guess this was to cover up for the fact that the story takes a wide turn into ridiculous and nonsensical.

This time a teachers assistant awakens the Djinn and the Djinn now terrorizes a college to find the one that freed him, once again to free his kind to rule the world. Diana however has a plan, and that plan is St. Michael the Archangel. Yup, good old St. Mike shows up with his sword to defeat the Djinn, but he can’t. For some inexplicable reason this angel shows up with no powers other than a magical sword and he can’t even win, he needs this college student to finish him off. The movie just makes no real sense, the death scenes aren’t even all that fun and the movie is a huge step down from the last two. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wishmaster 2:Evil Never Dies (1999)

Wishmaster 2

Our favorite Djinn is (Andrew Divoff) is back, this time accidentally released by a thief in this made for T.V horror movie. Honestly, it looks like a made for T.V. movie. Released in 1999 it looks like it was made in 1989, tho honestly that is part of its charm. I do however use the word charm vaguely because it will take a special horror movie fan to enjoy this. Rotton tomatoes trashed this movie with a 10%, but it did fair better on IMBd with a 5.1/10.

The story itself isn’t bad, tho again pretty cliche and straight out of the 80’s and quite simpler Djinn gets released, collects souls, attempts to grant the one that released him 3 wishes to release the rest of his kind and take over the world and in true Djinn form all of his wishes are granted very literally and take a quick turn for the gross and deadly as he collects 1000 souls.

The movie however is fun in that gross and weird way, but it isn’t for everyone and doesn’t offer anything your average horror fan hasn’t seen a million times. All in all, however I enjoyed it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 666: Issac’s Return

children corn 6

So this will be the final review I’m doing for the Children of the Corn series. There are others in the series and I’m sure the series isn’t dead, but for me the series came down to a fair conclusion with the sixth installment.

As the title suggests, Issac returns to his flock almost 20 years later after being in a coma since the original film. Hannah, a young woman has returned to Gatlin in search for her mother who was one of Issac’s original disciples. The town is full of his reformed flock and their offspring. When Hannah comes, Issac awakens and he foretells a prophecy that she will mate with He Who Walks Behind The Rows and pretty much create the Anti-Christ…

Ok, for a movie called Children of the Corn, there really aren’t any children in this movie. Just saying. On a whole, I got to say I feel it’s the best since the original and that’s mainly because of the charisma of Issac’s original actor. I liked the way we discover the fallout on the kids from the original cult. The story and acting are solid with easily the best effects of the series. If you enjoy the first movie, definitely check it out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn 5: Fields of Terror

children corn 5

So, wanna talk about a movie Eva Mendes doesn’t want to. In fact I gotta say there’s been a few famous starlets in the series before they were famous. Naomi Watts starred in Children of the Corn 4: The Gathering and Charlize Theron had a small bit part in Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest That being said, this review kinda sums up why I left the series with 7: these movies become stale real quick. Some friends who are supposed to be college age but we know are pushing 30 break down in a town, they go for help, come back and car is destroyed, kids lead them to weird cult leader played the late David Carradine and yadda yadda. I can’t lie folks, this movie bored the shit out of me. It’s not offensively terrible but it just couldn’t hold my attention, and that was at the height of my fandom. It’s the least WTF of the series, it’s not particularly gory or outlandish as others which kind of hurts the movie and I really can’t remember any new kind of piece to the lore. Carradine gives the best performance of the movie but isn’t there much and Eva Mendes is laughably bored but when these are the best features of your film, is it really worth remembering? In the end, it’s worth skipping, you aren’t missing much. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: the beginning

tcm the beginning

Lat year I talked about Texas Chainsaw Massacre when Tobe Hooper passed away; Tobe Hooper, R.I.P . This year I revisit the series after the passing of R Lee Ermey, Sheriff Hoyt, R.I.P R Lee Ermey

As the title suggests, the movie is devoted to showing how the diabolical Hewitt family of the remake came to power as well as the birth of Thomas Hewitt, the man who would become Leatherface. Tommy suffers from several birth defects, cast away and thrown into a dumpster after his mother dies during birth, in a slaughterhouse nonetheless. He is found and brought to the Hewitt family and raised as his own, deformed and mute, growing up to return to the slaughterhouse. But hard times have come to Travis County and the house closes, and after years of taking shit, Tommy snaps and the madness begins. Tommy’s uncle Charlie kills the town sheriff and takes his authority and identity out on the ghost town while coming across four teens on there way to enlist in Vietnam. In this encounter we see how things came to be, as well as the pivotal moment Tommy took his first face and picked up the chainsaw, his only real friend.

2006 was a bloody time in horror with Saw, Hostel, and the Hills Have Eyes being all the rage and this movie fits the trend. As far as A-B prequels go, it’s pretty solid. It’s very much a movie where you are invested in the family more than the heroes and I found myself much more attached to them then the people you should have been, although the Hewitts are the straight up bad guys here. Ermey as Hoyt and Andrew Brynairski as Leatherface were the highlights for me. It’s a VERY bloody and brutal movie so don’t watch it if guts make you sick. Overall, I thought it was a underrated slasher film that deserves a second look. To finish this review I want to quote R Lee Ermey as Hoyt, my favorite line from the movie and one that’s come to me a few times in real life, when all is said and done..

” Nobody will remember what we say here today, but they are sure as shit remember what we do,” – Sheriff Hoyt.

Rampage 64: World Tour

rampage 64

With the new Rampage film coming out in theaters, it’s only fitting we get to talk about an oldie but a goodie. We play one of three experiments gone wrong: George the Ape, Lizzie the Lizard, and Ralph the Wolf as they tear through the world wreaking buildings, fighting the army, and eating people and food. That’s pretty much it in a nutshell. It’s a simple game that’s fun as hell. Climbing buildings like King Kong and breaking them down with your bare fists or scooping up the denizens of the world. I freaked out as a kid being being able to kick a car like a football. There are funny things too like if you eat toxins, the monster comically barfs. The game does have classic couch co-op and looks pretty good for the time. The only royal flaw is how repetitive the game is to the core. As I said, the game is simple but fun and worth a fun, especially with friends. May the gaming gods bring you glory as you wreck the world your own way.

Children of the Corn 4: The Gathering

children corn 4

Fun fact for all those out there, I watched this directly after the first Children of the Corn much like Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows and Alien Resurrection this is a WTF kind of movie.

A mother has some harsh mental problems, as she keeps getting terrorized by a nightmare of rotting children. Her oldest daughter Grace is forced to come back to Gaitlin to take care of her mother, little brother, and baby sister (who is secretly her daughter) and be a nurse for the town Doctor. One night a sickness overtakes the children- many lose there teeth, many go comatose, some exhibit violent mood swings, and delusions but alas it’s a dead, zombie preacher kid that raises out of the grave. Secrets come out as Grace must save her daughter from reviving the horror of a young, demonic priest.

For the fourth movie in the series, it’s not too bad all considering. There is some genuinely creepy imagery and some decent creepy dialogue and make up. The acting is ok, and the goofy WTF nature is mainly stripped away which works well but is kind of a bummer. In the end it ain’t a bad movie, just mostly there. May the gaming gods bring you glory.