Category: Horror

Children of the Corn 3: Urban Harvest

children corn 3

So 90’s kids, have you ever watched Fresh Prince and asked yourself, you know what this show needs, the Children of the Corn? Well you kind of got your wish.

Unlike Children of the Corn 2: The Final Sacrifice which tried to stay somewhat close to the vibe of the first film, Urban Harvest tries to go in a different direction. Josh and Eli are brothers rescued from an abusive dad in Gaitlin and sent to live with foster parents in the big city. Josh, the older of the two brothers, seems more rebellious, breaking his Amish-like wardrobe, making friends and being a normal teen in there Catholic School. Eli stays to his ways, but he brings a gift from home: the corn. We learn they are foster brothers, and Eli has always had a dark part in Gaitlin’s history. Gaining love in devotion from his foster dad, a marketing executive, Eli wants to spread his demon corn throughout the US…yep.

The plot is ludicrous, yes, I’m willing to admit. Most will call it trash; it’s one of my favorite WTF movies next to Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows and Halloween: Resurrection. There are some interesting death scenes combined with effects that are just sub-par to be enjoyable. Eli is a devilishly fun cult leader, second best to Issac from the original. The acting really ain’t too bad for such a laughable premise. It’s a fun kind of horror sequel that can enjoyed on a WTF movie with your friends and some beers. May the gaming gods bring you glory, and more Children of the Corn reviews are on the way.

Children of the Corn 2: The Final Sacrifice

children corn 2

Since I was a kid, I was a huge fan of the Children of the Corn series, for better or worse. Were they ever the crowning gem of horror? Yes and no, while the concepts and things behind them are creepy and there’s some messed up imagery throughout the movies, there is a ton of WTF moments that keep it memorable. Let me say this now, the title of this movie is bullshit: there are 9 of these movies that I’m aware of with a 10th in the making, final sacrifice my ass.

As for plot, it’s a pretty standard horror sequel. The police finally investigate Gaitlin after I guess Burt and Vicky got out and rescue the traumatized surviving children who are either catatonic or what. They are taken to the next town over and through the corn, another kid is possessed and this whole thing starts again. A reporter and his angsty teenage son are there to investigate the previous events but while Danny, the son is finding first love, he is likewise being draw to the children and it’s up to his father to save him before history repeats itself…

Many people have fixed feelings about the first movie, but feelings here are much easier to conclude: this movie kinda blows. There’s a lot of down time between some decent kills but all in all the movie feels longer than it is. Micah as a main villain is nowhere near as memorable as Issac and I found him annoying at times. The acting is meh at best. Sequels are supposed to raise the intensity, raise the stakes with bigger body counts, bigger story and Final Sacrifice just feels like a step back from the first. I’d say it’s safe to skip it and go straight to the batshit that is 3. May the gaming gods bring you glory and tuned for more Children of the Corn reviews.

 

The First Purge trailer

 

Ok, the Purge has never been my favorite horror series; the series actually gets under my skin. We live in turbulent times to say the least, and I feel the series could have said something reflecting this, but it doesn’t. It could have gone balls to the walls and said something about the cruelty of man and been this generation’s Cannibal Holocaust, but nope. This amount of wasted potential outright pisses me off. This trailer does not make me a believer, just a believer this is going to the same of a series that wants to be goofy, provocative,  and shocking all at the same time and just sorta sucks at it all, but that’s my opinion. May the gaming gods bring you glory and be safe this purge…

Bad Boys (1995)

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Oh bad boys, this movie on paper shouldn’t work. But you toss in Will Smith and Martin Lawrence and you are pretty much promised a good time. Will and Martin play cops from Miami that now must get back drugs stolen from the precinct before word gets out they are gone while protecting a lone witness to a murder.

The movie is quite honestly a pretty typical cop movie. Two partners with pretty much opposite personalities solve some sort of crime and hilarity ensues. You honestly won’t see much new here, it’s simply how well it is done that matters here. The action scenes are fun and Will and Martin have amazing chemistry together, the kind that just makes you believe these two are real life best friends. It’s another one of those 90’s movies that people look back at with nostalgia for a reason, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Lost Boys (1987)

the lost boys

The lost boys is one of those movies that came out in the 80’s and is a vampire movie done a bit differently with a twist ending, but both done right. With a family from Arizona moving to California an older brother meets some friends and falls in with a bad crowd. The younger brother meets some comic book nerds obsessed with vampires they claim live in the area and the comics they claim are evidence of this. Turns out that group are those vampires and those nerds are not wrong.

What follows is the classic tale of a quest to escape the clutches of these vampires, their leader that wants to marry their mother, enslave them both and take over the town.

The movie is amazing and has its funny parts but is full of suspense and action with a great sound track, but I will always remember the end when all is said and done. Dead vampires everywhere, a huge hole in the side of the house, and the grandfather that everyone thought was just some old guy saying ” the area would be great if it wasn’t for all the damn vampires” Definitely check this one out if you haven’t already. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Children of the Corn

children of the corn

I will never step foot in a corn field, or anywhere predominately full of kids without thinking I’m going to get mauled and put on a damn corn cross. At the same time, Children of the Corn is my favorite cult movie. I briefly talked about the short story when I talked about the book Night Shift by of course Stephen King, but let’s go a bit more in depth…

General premise: under a demon influenced child preacher, the children of Gatlin Nebraska murder all the adults and take to human sacrifices for “He who walks behind the rows” lurking in the corn, and a couple stumbles upon this after running over a kid they found with his throat cut. This is pretty much where the similarities end.

In the story, Burt and Vicky are a couple who hate each other driving through the deep nowhere of corn because Burt has a interview. They hit the kid and uncover some weird shit in his possession. They park in town and split up. Vicky gets taken by the kids, which is the last time we see her alive; the last time she’s on the cross with her eyes ripped out and corn husks jammed in her sockets. Burt discovers that the kids murdered there parents and murder anyone past 18; and that they’ve been procreating extremely young. A kid named Amos is seemingly the one who started all this and Issac and Malachi are on the chopping block. Burt finds what’s left of Vicky, but He who walks behind the Rows finds him first…no happy ending, not even close.

In the movie, Burt and Vicky are married and mostly happy but there’s a rift because Burt has issues with kids. They talk to a old mechanic that lives on the outskirts of Gatlin that directs them away, but the corn is never ending and traps them there, then they hit the kid. Issac is the preacher that brought this madness, aided by his violent lieutenant Malachi. Again Vicky gets taken while Burt finds some messed up shit. But unrest in the group keeps her alive; Malachi turns on Issac and hosts him up for sacrifice with Vicky. Burt gets rescued by nonbelievers Jobb and Sarah, and together they ban together to get Vicky back and stop the children.

There’s a remake which blends both but I couldn’t bring myself to finish it; does this premise at all seem fit for a made-for -TV movie?

I love both story and movie but for different reasons. The story is bleak and very ambiguous; piecing what those kids were doing was half the morbid allure of it. We really didn’t see faces, no speeches, just remains they left behind. While the movie has creepy parts, I love the look and the child actors, especially Issac and Malachi and how over the top they could be and some of the shitty effects are just fun. Either way, I’d check either out, and may the gaming gods bring you glory  Outlander!

The Shining

the shining bk

Heeeere’s Torsten with another long overdue book/movie review. Savior once covered the movie, link here to see his thoughts: The Shining

Either way you go, the Shining is the story of the Torrance family spending a winter care-taking for the Overlook Hotel. Father, Jack, is a disgraced English Professor and struggling novelist and ex alcoholic. Mom, Wendy, silently resents Jack because he’s a F-up and last time he got drunk accidentally broke there psychic son, Danny’s, arm. While Danny sees things inside the hotel, Jack discovers the dark secrets of the Overlook’s past, things go shit up when they are trapped inside the Hotel and madness ensues, turning Jack against his family…

While the premise is the same, the executions are really damn different. Remember those creepy ass images from the movie: creepy twins, elevator full of blood, and whatever the hell was going on between the bear suit guy and that guy in the tux? Well there’s none of that in the book. In the book we got hedge animals that come alive and a hornets nest… Ok, so sorry no really creepy visuals in the book. What sells the book is the atmosphere and the build up to Jack losing it. The characters in the book are very deep but I can’t say I ever really found the book scary but a family drama with a dark ending. I like the movie better for a few reasons. Whereas I found the Overlook’s history ok in the book, I love the imagery Kubrick created from the same backstory (though the bloody elevator was all him.) I felt the family in the book was actually a loving family that would have been Ok if this didn’t happen, but the family in the movie seemed off, like a family pretending they weren’t about to explode. In the book, it’s plain that it’s a freaking ghost story but it was more intriguing that we didn’t know for sure what the hell was going on. Last was how the movie had a darker ending which I felt more fulfilling.

In the end I thought the book was Ok but the movie is legendary. Stephen King again proved he’s a master storyteller. May the gaming gods bring you glory and happy Easter from us to you.

Favorite Locales in gaming…

Let’s talk real estate, location, location, location. In gaming we get some gorgeous worlds that make us wish we could live there or pray we’d never set foot in but either way are memorable. Here’s a list of mine in no particular order starting with one that actually exists..

ac2 italy 1. Renaissance Italy ( Assassin’s Creed 2)

I’m a huge fan of the Renaissance era and being able to experience it and venture through Italy’s gorgeous architecture was truly a pleasure.

skyrim  2. Skyrim ( Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim)

Who the hell wouldn’t want to go to the lush, fascinating kingdom of Skyrim full of interesting people, magic, killer beasts and epic dragons? Plus talking cat people…

arkham city 2 3. Arkham City (Batman: Arkham City )

I’d go here just because of the villains that lurk here like Two-Face, Penguin, Mr. Freeze, Killer Croc, and that lovable goof Mr. J and his sweetheart Harley. A community is only as good as it’s people after all..

yharnam bloodborne  4. Yharnam (BloodBorne review)

I loved this creepy, Victorian, Gothic town the second I walked in with my trusty ax. Between the Lovecraft style monsters and classic horror feel, I’d put a top hat on and hang out there a night.

dishonored dunwall 5. Dunwall (Dishonored series)

Another town, though with a steampunk flavor of whale blubber, robot walkers, and plague but hey, the fashion is quite dashing. Especially that creepy bastard in the skull mask…

sevastopol isolation  6. Sevastopol Station (Alien: Isolation)

The last two are a morbid curiosity deals more than anything, but as a sci-fi, horror nerd I gotta do it. Granted I ain’t going here with a alien on board, hell no..

ishimura deadspace 7. U.S.S Ishimura (DeadSpace )

Many modern horror fans shiver at the name, knowing the horrific things inside but the areas inside are creepy as well as cool looking to see. Just make sure you have a plasma-cutter handy..

May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Flowers in the Attic

flowers in the attic

I’m starting this off by dedicating this to my lil sis who told me about this book and gave me the most depressing book I’ve read.

The book follows the Dollanganger family, the seemingly perfect family…until the father dies and everything unravels. They’d been living on a mix of luck and credit and are about to lose everything. Mother, Corrine, tells her four children they have to go to her estranged, ultra-rich parents; the kids are shocked to find they have grandparents, there last name is really Foxworth, and these grandparents aren’t great people. Corrine’s father is dying, so her plan is to become daddy’s girl again to get money so they can scram. Corrine’s mother hates her with a fiery rage and instantly despises the children; her stipulation is they have to live in the attic, having to pretend they don’t exist. Oldest of the four kids, Christopher and Cathy (the narrator) have to care for there younger brother and sister while dealing with there cruel, hateful grandmother, there mother who has forgotten them, a host of ugly family secrets, and forbidden feelings for each other as they stay in the attic…

I won’t lie, I love this book but holy crap is it heart  wrenching. V.C Andrews ingeniously dangles hope in front of them only to crush it by reality without making the book seeming to feel completely hopeless. I’ve frequently seen this book labeled “horror” and to an extent, I agree. Some of the images and scenes are pretty damn disturbing and there is as much tension if not more than I experienced in many other horror books. I absolutely recommend this book to aspiring writers like myself and people who need a good tear or two. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ricky Gervais: Humanity

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I have never watched a Ricky Gervais stand up, tho I have seen him talk and seen a few clips here and there. He always struck me as an intelligent and funny guy whether you agree with his point of view or not. I didn’t really know what to expect tho. After watching this one however made me realize this guy cares not at all about what he says. Not in the sense that he intentionally says messed up things or goes out of his way to be cruel or offensive. However he understands things certain things many people seem to have forgotten. The context of a joke and the target of a joke matters just as much as anything else. A joke including the word rape is not the same as making a joke about someone being raped, making a joke about a trans gendered person is not the same as making a joke about a person being trans gendered. Both of these are points he makes during the stand up he has encountered.  His stand up it at times messed up but is hilarious and thought-provoking and even if you don’t like that kind of humor it might make you appreciate a different perspective. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.