Category: Horror

World War Z

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There are some ideas that are brilliant, some that are maddeningly dumb, and some that can only be done once. This is one of my favorite books and least favorite movies.

World War Z, as the rest of the title suggests, is a oral history of the zombie war. Basically the book is written interview style with multiple survivors of different cultures, creeds, ages, and social standings We get traumatic accounts of epic battles, tearful goodbyes, and get a cool view of how others outside ourselves would deal with such a catastrophic event. The book never feels repetitive in tone or character arcs and that is what makes it so damn enthralling: genuine feeling characters around the world dealing with classic, simple zombies- a threat most wouldn’t take at face value but Max Brooks demonstrates how endearing and dangerous they are.

The movie ditches almost everything but the zombie apocalypse. We get an obscene amount of fast, kinda green looking, Pg-13 28 knockoff zombies overruning the globe as Brad Pitt goes through action set piece after action set piece trying to find a cure and get back to his family. Watching this hurt. Bad. The stories and characters I loved in the book were striped and replaced with a Emmerich wannabe action movie. I admit, I may be hard on the movie; many folks I know that really enjoyed it never read it at all.

I’m going to say pick one, and whatever you pick, don’t go to the other because chances are you will get royally bent out of shape. I favor the book’s variety and emphasis on strong characters, setting, and simple zombies. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Zombie Survival Guide

zombie survival guide

Hello everyone. I have been really sick for a week, hence why I haven’t posted and well, tis the season for runny noses, hoarse coughs, and ZOMBIES! Ok, not really zombies. Zombies don’t do well in the frigid cold, although beware because those cadaverous bastards could be buried beneath the snow. This is something I learned from Max Brooks’s Zombie Survival Guide.

Now there is no narrative but the book is rather an actual survival guide heavily based in actual fact. Wilderness survival, weapons, and home defense tactics are some things that can learned from the book. As for the zombies, Brooks goes out of his way to add a layer of depth to the creatures both physically and contextually you rarely see in fiction. Seriously, they feel pretty damn real when you start getting into there inner workings, origins, and capabilities. If you love zombies and want something different that will make you feel safer come the inevitable zombie apocalypse, definitely pick it up. Best wishes and may the gaming gods save you from zombies…which I’m not..it was a stomach flu…I promise.

Sharknado 5 (2017)

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Oh Sharknado. I am pretty sure people mostly watch these movies to see how far off the deep end of what the fuck did I just watch they can go, and Sharknado 5 goes even further off that deep end than ever before. I am talking hit a rock star with a bus so he plays some metal while driving down the road then kills a shark with his guitar style off the deep end. The movie is goofy and silly as hell, just like the last 4. The dialogue is corny, the visuals are pretty much as B movie as they can possibly get. And if you enjoyed the last 4 you will like this one, if you didn’t, this will not change that at all. In fact this one may actually make some fans shy away from continuing the series, and I do mean continuing since the ending pretty much promised a part 6.

However I did enjoy the movie for what it was, and I will watch the next one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Before I Wake (2016)

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Before I wake is one of those movies people will either love or hate, like most Netflix movies really. It tells the story of a husband and wife that choose to foster a child after the death of their son.They soon discover their new foster son has a weird power where his dreams become reality when he sleeps.

As he sleeps they see visions of beautiful butterflys and even their child that died in an accident happy. more than visions tho they can touch these things. Mom becomes slowly more obsessed with staying up to see them, not in a dangerous way but in an unhealthy way to be sure, which dad calls her out on.

The problem with all this, is his nightmares are also very real, and very dangerous. The first to fall victim to this is the school bully that learns sometimes it doesn’t pay to be a dick, and it pays even less to attempt an attack on a sleeping classmate. The movie is a lot of fun and has some great twist and turns to it, and while I al sure it isn’t for everyone I enjoyed it from beginning to end, tho it may be the saddest horror movie every created. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

License to Wed (2007)

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License to Wed is the sweet story of how a couple met, fell in love and decided to get married. Then a possibly deranged and crazy but possibly genius minister played by the late great Robin Williams. The story starts off much like any comedic love story, boy meets girl, boy falls in love, boy proposes. They then go to girls church she frequented growing up to get her favorite and most loved religious adviser not named Savior to unite them in holy matrimony.

This is around the time Mr. Williams as the minister turns out to be possibly bat shit crazy with a game show similar to Family Fued going on with the 10 commandments and children with plans to take them in the park the next day to learn about the sins of gambling. He then informs them all to bring a dollar and ask their parents what a trifecta is. For those that don’t gamble a trifecta is a term for when a gambler places a wager on their ability to pick the placement of the first 3 positions of a race for example.

Anyway that aside they decide between being wed in 3 weeks or 2 years, and the race is on to finish a multi month course in 3 weeks. This will include counseling sessions, both group and one on one, a random visit for the minister to talk about sex, them not being allowed to have sex and driving a car blindfolded. The movie is great and a lot of fun and any comedy fan should check it out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Hot Rod (2007)

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Hot Rod is the story of a wannabe stunt man following the path of his father, a father that died during a tragic stunt. Rod Kimble lives at home with mom, step dad and half brother. His half brother his part of his team that helps him set up his stunts. His step dad beats him during sparing matches where Rod attempts to prove he really is a man, and his stunts are basically the joke of the town. But can he change all this when his step dad needs an expensive surgery to save his life, and so he can finally be a man that beats up his step dad?

Don’t go into this movie expecting some great movie with amazing special effects, or even great acting. The effects and music seem to come straight out of the 80’s, hell so does most of the acting. And what would you really expect from Andy Samburg and Danny McBride? The movie tho is amazing, its funny, its goofy and it actually has a pretty great story to it. The ending is also not what you would expect.

As always I won’t spoil much more for you, but the ending was pretty refreshing. Best wises and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Drawn Together

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There are some things that once seen, cannot be unseen: this is one of the few times it’s a compliment. Many don’t remember Drawn Together, but those that watched it remember it DAMN well. Not everyday you see a Veggie-Tale go postal, a superhero and a pig wash a homeless guys balls, or the most feared creature in our live action universe: live action squirrel with incredibly huge balls! That kind of crazy shit.

Drawn Together is a animated reality show about animated characters living in a house. Captain Hero, Foxy Luv, Toot, Spanky Ham, Xander, Waldor Sockbat, and Ling-ling are representations of characters we all grew up with which leads to some insanely outrageous moments during it’s three seasons. And I warn you now, if you aren’t into raunchy comedy, skip this like swimming in a pool of plague bodies. Over a decade after it aired, it holds up well but I do recommend watching it unedited. I highly recommend this show for it’s great premise, funny characters, and unforgettable moments. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Rings (2017)

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Having never seen the other movies I really didn’t know what to expect to be honest. I did her some not so flattering things and I have to admit I really don’t see them. The acting is fine, the story itself is pretty solid. A college professor sees a take and figures out that if he gets other people to watch it nobody dies. Using this tactic to attempt to figure out if souls actually exist and to save lives however things are bound to go wrong.

Of course things do go wrong, and that is when people start dying and things go from . I bad to a hell of a lot worse. The movie is far from perfect, and I am open to the idea that the others were just so much better this one seems worse, I don’t want to spoil to much but I did enjoy this one and would suggest giving it a fair chance. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

High School of the Dead

high school of the dead

I’m sure someone somewhere is rolling there eyes just at the title of this anime alone, because zombies are well…dead. Millions of these undead bastards have plagued our media for the past near 2 decades. There are gems but many suck and many just need to stop (I’m talking to you Walking Dead).

Basic premise of this anime: a random group of kids and the busty school nurse at a prestigious high school must band together to survive the zombie apocalypse. That is pretty much it. We never learn what caused the zombies, which I’m fine with, and we don’t even really know if the zombies were defeated at the end and the human race won, not just our heroes. I liked that too. Like many zombie films, there is a deeper meaning behind them and what I took away was the zombie apocalypse as a metaphor for the real world outside high school bleeding into the drama filled lives of these varied teens.

While not exceptional, it was a nice breath of fresh madness in a sub-genre played to death. It has fun characters you grow to care about and you do see them grow as the show continues. There is plenty of awesome kills and the animation is damn good. What stole my heart is the huge WTF factor at play, like a kid using his ex girlfriends boobs to stabilize his AK 47 during a firefight or the random moments you that make you laugh out WTF. I’m sure Savior had a blast reading my confused texts that night. My only real complaint is that I do wish there was more and that it does take a little bit to find it’s groove. I recommend this as a fun, crazy ass anime for horror fans and zombie fans. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Next Karate Kid (1994)

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The Next Karate Kid is the 4th and last of the original movies and the only one not to star Ralph Maccio. Mr Miyagi at a commemoration for WW2 soldiers Mr. Miyagi meets the widow of an old officer and gets to know her granddaughter.

The movie sounds good, but really it is just the story of an angry girl Mr. Miyagi tries to teach karate in order to help her deal with the loss of her parents. This in itself would be fine but many of the jokes in the movie are essentially about how he has no experience with girls and their problems. This isn’t on either actor, both Pat and Hillary Swank play their parts very well. I think the biggest issue was the movie was written with no real sense of direction. It has its moments and I don’t agree the movie is horrible, but it is the worst in the series. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.