Category: Movie Review

Our Favorites, Day 25: House of Wax

house of wax

House of Wax creeps me out as much today as it did when I was a kid. My mom and I had a strange relationship, but like my dad, she loved horror too. This was one of the few grown up horror movies I got to watch. In a nutshell (oncoming mini “explain it badly” segment approaching) the movie is about a creepy burned guy who kills mostly women, coats them in hot wax, and uses them as sideshow attractions because he had a boner for a Marie Antoinette statue. Yep. Pretty messed up right? Well, the gothic atmosphere and outstanding performance by Vincent Prince got me as a kid and the idea and perverted undertones got me as a adult. Something things never change but get better as time goes on, which is why I included it here. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our Favorites, Day 24: The Hills Have Eyes (06)

hills eyes 06

The Hills Have Eyes(06) is one of those rare exceptions of a remake surpassing the original. This mutant filled revenge tale is simple, badass, and epic while also being disturbing and creepy. That being said, it was my favorite time ever seeing a movie in theaters. My dad took me to see it opening weekend in theaters to a packed house and everyone was genuinely into it. When the tides turn and the main dude gets his revenge, the audience cheered. There were actual cheers, people applauded, high fives were given and it was so much fun. I always wanted to say I made something that fulfilling and unique. It was a great moment with my dad too, seeing him whistle and throw his fist in glee every time the dog killed someone. The memories and the inspiration it gave me are why it’s on this list. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Seven In Heaven (2018)

Seven In Heaven is a Blumhouse production and damn is this movie weird as hell. Two teens at a party are not so willingly sent into a closet to play Seven Minutes in Heaven, and end up in an alternate dimension. Think more realistic Chronicles of Narnia. As soon as they get to the new place they find themselves in the same house, at a similar party, yet much more violent. Jude(Travis Tope) is kind of the class nerd and  June (Haley Ramm) is sort of dating the class bully that most people don’t like. These two will be stuck on the other side, and things aren’t pretty. In fact Jude is accused of stabbing the class bully Derek (Jake Manley)

I don’t want to go to in-depth with the story since honestly all of the joy in this movie is in figuring out what the hell is even going on in the first place. Not that the movie is confusing by any means, it just leaves you to figure it out right up until the very end and has a few twist and turns. The acting and visuals are nice and honestly I see no real reason for the low scores the movie has on IMBd as I rather enjoyed it myself. If you have the time check this one out on Netflix. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our favorites, Day 23: Cabin in the Woods

cabin in the woods

Don’t hit the red button. I can’t stress that enough: beware the red button. Cabin in the Woods is probably one of the best WTF horror comedies to date and may possibly be the most clever. The most cliche horror story, a group of college buddies going to a remote cabin in the woods for a weekend becomes something far more sinister behind the scenes. There is a lot to this movie I really don’t want to spoil because it is inspired when it’s all put together and it’s a must watch.

The reason it’s on this list is because of the “Red Button” scene which is legendary but also this was my favorite double feature at a theater. My old writing partner, my dad and I went to see Avengers opening day. Being so pumped after, my partner and I wanted to keep the hype going and see another movie. He wanted to see the Hunger Games and I wanted to see this. We flipped a coin and well, my favorite coin toss ever and why it’s on the list. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our Favorites Day 22, The Strangers

the strangers

The Strangers did something special and scared the hell out of me not as a kid but a 18 year old adult. I grew up in the suburbs of Scranton- a very quiet unassuming place. We lived in a picturesque house, a house that had a lot of windows downstairs so first seeing this downstairs, at night, imagining people watching you, lurking around your house without you knowing was somehow easy to visualize. I also have some deep seeded paranoia issues, so this movie stayed with me in the dark for years later which is why it’s on this list. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our Favorites Day 21, Aliens

aliens

Aliens started it all for me. Because of this movie, I was terrified of a 8 foot Xenomorph grabbing me in the bathtub to lay eggs in my chest- thanks ma and dad. Seriously though, this is the only real movie I’ve ever seen to perfectly blend tense horror and asskicking action. Also, the Queen Alien reveal is one of my favorites of all time. I had action figures, replayed the levels of Alien Trilogy and even got suckered into the game for which we do not speak ( Aliens: Colonial Marines ). Hell, I even quote this damn movie 20 some years after seeing it. May the gaming gods not lay eggs in your chests.

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is a horror, slasher, killer movie that starts out okay enough. It has some potential. Many was apparently some less than beautiful girl who suddenly became hot over a summer and got the attention of the all boys in school. After being invited to a party and insisting on bringing her long time friend. After one of the jocks hits on Mandy and gets a little to touchy her friend shots him with a squirt gun and a small fight follows.

Later her friend Emmett ends up on the roof with the Jock and convinces him to jump on an attempt to impress Mandy. He misses the pool, cracks his skull and dies. Yes I realize this chain of event makes very little sense that two high school guys that got into a fight over a girl would suddenly become friends, try to help each other get the girl. Only believable part is a drunk kid missing the pool.

The movie fast forwards a bit, Mandy and Emmett aren’t friends anymore because honestly who would stay friends with this psycho? This is when for some reason that is never actually explained there is a party at a ranch. This is where the death happens, which honestly is pretty underwhelming. Worse yet the story itself is essentially everyone is obsessed with one girl, the killer is exactly who you think it is with a small twist at the end and even that twist is essentially easy to see coming. The movie is entertaining, but far from good. Check it out, but don’t expect a life changing experience. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our favorites Day 20, The Fly

the fly

I’m a comic book and sci-fi nerd so this should be no surprise but I love this messed up tale of a science experiment gone wrong as one of my favorites. The ongoing transformation of Jeff Goldblum into the Fly is deeply disturbing and I can’t recommend this at all to the weak stomached. Scenes stick out to me like him melting the guy’s hand with his bile or the end where the creature put’s the gun to his head or Geena Davis giving birth to the giant maggot. It’s one of the best remakes ever for good reason. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Our favorites Day 19, Alien

alien

Savior specifically told me I wasn’t allowed to do all 6 Alien movies for our Halloween special. While I love the series as a whole, there are of course 2 that traverse the boundaries. What can I say about Alien I haven’t already said: legendary creature design, tense atmosphere, some great body horror and a heroine for the ages. The first movie was the last I’d seen of the original 4 and as I kid I didn’t really appreciate it but like a fine wine I found it better with age. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Truth or Dare (2017)

Truth or Dare is a movie that has a pretty cool premise. A group of teens around Halloween rent out a supposedly haunted house to have some fun. Back in the 1980’s a different group played truth or dare and all but one person died, and now these people decide to have a few drinks and play themselves. Sounds like good fun until it turns out the house really is haunted, and the ghost is using this normally harmless game to kill people.

In reality the movie isn’t very good. Sure the acting is fine and so are the effects, but the movie is just trying so damn hard to appeal to millennials. The story itself makes no real sense, with plot holes and contradictions. Towards the halfway point the find the original survivor ( yes they leave the house) and are told it in fact isn’t a ghost but an evil entity that isn’t limited to one place and that is why the game has continued. However, they have to go back to the house since that is where the game started and it has to end there.

The movie has moments of being fun and entertaining but for the most part the movie is simply a train wreck and it is sad because potentially the movie could have been great, it simply needed to stop trying to be cool for a certain age range and try to be the movie it needed to be. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.