Lawyers and cops always gotta stick together! Prosecutor Du Qiu (Zhang Hanyu) has a pretty solid life set out for him. Nice job, respect among his peers, and a general sense of what’s good and wrong with the world. Everything’s looking up for him when suddenly, literally out of nowhere, his girlfriend winds up dead […]
Category: Movie Review
Mothers of horror
Happy Mothers Day everyone, from us to you. Without mom, there essentially is no us but even our nightmares have mommies too, or in today’s case, they maybe the nightmare. Today, we’re talking about the moms of horror, in no particular order, let’s begin with…
1. Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th)
She worked her bum off to give her sweet baby boy Jason a decent life but those damn fornicating teenagers let him drown. So like any good mother, rather than seeking therapy or perhaps trying to avoid this situation, she decided to rid Crystal Lake of those damn fornicating teenagers. Thanks Mrs. V
2. Mrs. Bates (Psycho)
“A boy’s best friend is his mother,” her son once said because it’s true, well, at least to Norman anyway. Norman loved her so much, he never let her go, but did everything he could to make her proud. Thanks Mrs. Bates
3.Margaret White (Carrie)
It’s hard trying to bring kids up with good spiritual values and that’s all she tried giving her daughter Carrie. She warned her about those sinning bastards at her school, and gave her life to stop her enraged daughter from hurting all those innocent folks in town. Thanks Mrs. White.
4. Queen Alien (Aliens)
Moms are strong, beautiful, intelligent, and organized and the Queen herself is the greatest in the galaxy, receiving thousands of gifts from the hordes of her children as she gives us all the gift of yummy eggs. Thanks your highness.
Happy Mother’s Day and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
The Rage:Carrie 2 (1999)
Every so often I hear someone complain that we are getting a sequel we don’t need. I always find this to be an odd statement because really we don’t need any movie. They are simply made to entertain. They are all pointless and unneeded so they all become needed to be made from the standpoint of their creator. That being said, once in a while I come across a movie I watch and I realize I am being way to literal, and this is what they mean by we don’t need this movie.
That is not to say the movie was terrible. I can’t honestly say it was some flaming dumpster fire and nobody should ever watch it. The acting was good, the visuals were nice, the sound was good enough but could have used some better music I thought. I mean come on, it was the late 90’s and the movie cost you 21 million bucks to make and you couldn’t be me some good tunes? The movie was a flop by the way, grossing only 17 million on that 21 million budget and it isn’t hard to see why. have you seen Carrie (1976) ? If the answer is yes than you have essentially seen this one. The movie takes place 20 years after Carrie, yes it is a direct sequel. Sue is now the counselor at the new school that replaced the one Carrie torched. Rachel or telekinetic friend is the unknown half sister of Carrie ( same father) and the story goes like this.
Jocks are sleeping with girls at the school for points in a game they are playing, Rachel’s friend gets upset and takes a walk off the top of the school, Rachel and one of the Jocks fall for each other, jocks don’t like it, jocks target Rachel, Rachel goes ballistic at a house party and kills everyone and burns the place to cinders after they show a sex tape her and her boyfriend didn’t know the jocks made. The End. Seriously this is less a sequel to Carrie and more of a re-imagining or retelling. The movie isn’t exactly bad, it is just the same story, and isn’t done as well. Except the end scene where stuff dies, I am willing to debate that those 2 scenes are about equal in quality.
The Predator, trailer 1
So after a long ass wait, we finally get a peak at the fourth in the Predator series. As well as being a huge Alien fan ( to an unhealthy degree people have said in the past), I do love me some Predator. On the whole, I loved the trilogy and I was excited to get a new movie after eight years.
I’ve got some weird comments, so just be aware. First, I hate when franchises add “The” as part of the title when its just part of the series; years and years ago I remember hearing the Alien prequel would be called “The Alien” and I remember groaning out loud in front of like 30 people. But, I digress.
I do like the suburban setting, which I find refreshing for the series on its own. Even including those abominable AVP movies, the settings were also diverse and the I always wanted to see more Predator, solo, in them; I’d love a Predator movie in the frozen tundra honestly. The Predator looks badass as ever and I’m glad they seem to be back to the more original designs than the more…shall we say different designs of the Predators in the previous film.
In the end, I have a bit of faith in this fourth movie and I hope for the best. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
Human Centipede
You know those movies you hear about that either made people faint, barf, or psychologically scared them? Sometimes, in the case of the Exorcist, it becomes a pop culture icon. Years ago, we got the Human Centipede…
We begin with the exploits of two American college girls in Germany that get lost in the woods during a storm after there car breaks down; but have no fear, they find a not rapey scientist guy alone in a tricked out house. Well, the totally not creepy guy drugs them and they wake up in a basement laboratory with a dude who doesn’t speak a word of English and is really pissed. Creepy doctor explains his fascination with Siamese twins and how he plans to connect his three victims mouth to anus, mouth to anus. After one of the girl’s failed attempts at escape, he goes through with the surgery, creating his beloved Human Centipede..
So, to do this review, I have to put this into perspective: Human Centipede is a movie totally dependent of where your gross out threshold lies. If you are on the lower end of the spectrum, you will likely find this movie shocking and creepy, if you have a higher threshold, you may find morbid laughs in it. I see both but I found it as a mildly entertaining WTF film. There isn’t really any outlandish gore or nudity, its shock is all in the premise and the Dr. I do like the sad ending. In the end, it’s kinda meh but worth checking out for curiosity sake. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
Mr. Woodcock (2007)
Oh Billy Bob Thornton you sick sick bastard how I love you movies. This time around Billy Bob (Mr. Woodcock) plays what can only be described as a jack ass pretty much abusive gym teacher that torments his students to the point of ruining their lives. Seann William Scott plays Farley, one of those students. Many years later Farley rights a book and is honored by the town and comes home, only to discover Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob) is dating his mom.
The movie itself honestly isn’t exactly good, much of it is pretty much run of the mill stuff that is easy to see coming. For me it is just one of those guilty pleasure movies. I understand the story is simplistic and unoriginal. That being said Billy Bob plays the role of Mr. Woodcock amazingly. I love watching him play his usual role, he does it so well. Scott counters his role to perfection as well. The fact that he was pretty much always seen as Stiffler always saddened me.
If you like Scott and Thornton you will probably enjoy this movie, on the other hand however if not, you will probably not be into this movie. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
This movie is one of those movies where you can look up reviews and see anything from it was great to people cursing up a storm. Check YouTube and you can find discussion videos and videos explaining the ending. The final of the Matrix Trilogy is the most divisive in the bunch. If you have seen it you know why, the ending isn’t exactly your typically happy ending but it also doesn’t have some weird twist ending. It just has an ending. As you would think its visuals and acting are all top-tier like you expect just like its sound so you won’t be complaining there either.
The story is also for the most part more straight forward than the others. While people like to debate the ending and some philosophical parts, the plot isn’t confusing or full of twist and turns. This is just a dash to the finish. Personally I didn’t care for the trilogy as a whole, but it is still enjoyable to watch as a fan of cinema. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
5 great foreign horror films
Between 17 and 18 I was fortunate enough to have a local video store downtown that specialized in horror movies and oh I had one hell of a list to search through. I discovered some of my all time favorites here and I discovered the wonders of horror from other cultures and my mind expanded. In no particular order, lets begin with…
1. The Beyond-
Part 2 of Lucio Fulchi’s unofficial “Gates of Hell” trilogy, Fulchi’s shocking imagery and the great score is a awesome mix. Because of this, I understand why people are scared of spiders, that’s for damn sure. If you want something really weird, check this picture out.
2. Audition-
Crazy girlfriend movies are a dime a dozen these days but none of them compare to this crazy ass movie. Audition made me a bit scared to enter the dating scene because there’s never a feeling of fakeness and a shockingly realistic antagonist. I highly recommend this to new horror fans.
3. Pan’s Labyrinth-
Guillermo Del Toro is an astounding director and while this isn’t totally a horror movie, it did give me nightmares for one particular part, because of a certain creature a decade later I still can’t forget. While not exactly a horror film, it’s one of the top 10 greatest films I’ve ever seen.
4. The Orphanage-
Much like Labyrinth, this Spanish ghost story is very deep and rides the line between conventional ghost story and sad character drama that may not be for everyone, but’s worth checking out if you like ghost stories.
5. Cannibal Holocaust-
You know those stories you heard about the Exorcist where people fainted and had legitimate visceral reactions to it in 73? I had visceral reaction to this movie, quite possibly one of the most controversial films ever made. As a special, once we hit 1,000 subscribers here, I’ll talk in a lot more detail about Cannibal Holocaust but I’ll say now, for as powerful and thought provoking as it is, don’t bother if you suffer from weak constitutions. You’ve been warned.
I hope you all enjoyed this list and please follow and once we hit 1,000 followers, I’ll do a Cannibal Holocaust review. May the gaming gods bring you glory.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Ok so while The Matrix Reloaded was good, nobody thinks it was as good as the first for the most part. Taking place 6 months after the first movie we now find ourselves watching a romantic relationship between Trinity and Neo, the attack from the machines on Zion, Agent Smith going rogue and a whole host of other things to numerous to mention without confusing the hell out of people that have not seen the movie. Seriously there is a lot going on in these movies, I won’t even try to explain it. You even find out Neo isn’t the one because there were 5 before him. That technically makes him the Sixth realistically. The movie is still good, but its less about making you think and more about making this new world seem more real than it was. It succeeds quite nice by the way, it is just a lot to take in and I still would recommend watching it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
The Matrix (1999)
Today I realized this movie is almost 20 years old,and that upsets me. This movie also changed a lot in movies, namely everyone and their brother using that bullet dodge move Neo does, you know the one. We aren’t getting into it right now. We all now the story, computer hacker meet beautiful woman, computer hacker wants a lil something something if you know what I mean, computer hacker gets a choice between 2 pills, computer hacker discovers his entire life is not what it seemed.
The entire purpose of this movie is to make people thing, to question what is going on around them and to ask, what is reality and how would you know what is real and what isn’t? I think,there are plenty of theories out there. Regardless this movie that brought us memes and long black coats is still to this day discussed for a reason. It looked beautiful, sounded beautiful, had a rich and engrossing story and all these years later is still meme worthy. If you haven’t seen it by now you need to, and lucky for you the trilogy is on Hulu. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.
Savior Gaming 