Category: Movie Review

Batman Returns

batman returns

For everything Burton’s first film did right, the sequel did wrong. But hey, its a Christmas movie, all being a unpleasant one.

So the movie opens on a jolly Christmas note, a couple of stuck up parents throw there deformed baby in the sewer…where he gets adopted by penguins and circus freaks. Ok. Well years later this baby grows up to be Penguin, leader of this gang of circus freaks. After Penguin takes slimy corporate mogul Max Shrek hostage, he uses his influence to gain backing to get a leg up in Gotham. On top of this, Shrek killed his mousy secretary Selena Kyle, who comes back from the dead as batshit insane but sexy Catwoman. So it’s up to Batman to deal with both sides of this weird ass equation…

Ok, as you can imagine, this movie is kinda a clusterf@ck of ideas and plot threads. In fact, for a movie called Batman Returns, I feel Batman is a background character. I don’t feel he is the primary focus and I can’t tell if the script sucked that bad or Keaton just said screw it and sleep walked through a lot of it.  Danny Devito and Michelle Pheiffer are pretty good as Penguin and Catwoman but the script gives them some awkward ass moments. As for the film itself, you can tell this is a Tim Burton film through and through, which kills a lot of the dark tone set by the first but tries making it goofier but tries being darker at the same time and its conflicting. As a final note, Penguin’s evil scheme at the very end is one of the lamest things I’ve ever heard. In the end, it’s ok to watch once but it’s something you will just forget. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Space Balls (1987)

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There isn’t much to say about space balls, its a classic Mel Brooks movie. It is goofy, funny, blatantly mocks and parodys another more famous movie while slightly making fun of things in society. You also probably saw it as a kid and didn’t truly understand many of the jokes until you watch it again as an adult. One example that I always remember is when the are combing the desert with actual combs. As a kid I always laugh because obviously this isn’t what they meant. I never picked up on the not so subtle racial joke of the 2 black guys yelling “we ain’t found shit” while using a hair pick instead of the long hair comb you always see white greasers using in the 50’s.

The movie however is amazing, and like always never takes itself serious. It tells the story of Lone Star saving a princess while Lord Helmet and the evil empire tries to use her as ransom to steal air. Yes, air. Anyway any fan of the comedy genre need to see this one, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

AntMan and the Wasp trailer

It’s finally here folks, our look at Antman and the Wasp. I’m glad the story so far looks very heavy on the ramifications of the end of Civil War where we see Scott Lang, Hank and Hope Pym on the run still. So far, we really haven’y had a MCU film to be greatly affected by the end of Civil War. I have to say, I love Wasp’s intro in this trailer. I always liked Wasp more than Antman; also we get more Gi-Antman action which is always welcome. I’m really excited. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Evolution (2001)

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What happens when a meteorite hits the ground and brings billions of  1 celled organism? You get some excited scientist. What happens when over night those 1 celled lil guys advanced millions of years? Things get very bad for a small town, but hilarious for the rest of us. Yes somehow this movie is a comedy. I have no idea who thought this should be a comedy, but I am so glad they did. David Duchovny, Julianne Moore and Orlando Jones are amazing and hilarious. Don’t get me wrong, the movie isn’t all that good. The plot is silly and makes very little sense, it is just funny as hell. If you like comedies and some how missed this one, check this one out.

Batman

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As requested, we begin our journey into the four classic Batman films with by far the best. In fact, I’d put Tim Burton’s first Batman film up there with one of the best adaptations of a superhero I can think of.

Gotham, a beautiful city by day but a crime infested hellhole at night. The police are corrupt or pretty ineffective against the crime bosses. But a bat stalks the night, taking down criminals. Eccentric Bruce Wayne by day and the menacing Batman at night he protects Gotham while evading the police. But a run in with mob enforcer Jack Napier with change his life as Jack falls into a vat of chemicals, emerging as his nemesis, Joker. Meanwhile reporter Vicky Vale is trying to uncover the bat’s secret identity but gets dragged into something bigger as we realized Batman and Joker have more history than we first thought….

This movie is a certifiable classic, being a damn good modern noir and a trend setter, influencing superhero films today. While the story is simple, the characters are flushed out and I love the dark tone of the movie. Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson are amazing as Batman and Joker; I’d say Nicholson is the most accurate portrayal of Joker we’ve had on screen to date. The setting is beautiful as well and the score is terrific.  Absolutely check this movie out. May the gaming gods bring you glory, while you dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.

Deadpool

deadpool movie

I end my list of X- Men reviews with arguably the best film to come out of the series. The little r-rated superhero movie that could.

Wade Wilson was a normal guy that did some questionable shit for money and had some military background skills. He met a messed up chick named Vanessa and Wade and Vanessa feel in love. practically soul mates. Well, Wade gets inoperable cancer. Life Sucks. But as he hangs out in despair at his favorite bar, a shady looking dude offers him a possible cure if he comes with him. Not wanting to have Vanessa watch him suffer, he says screw it and goes with the guy. Under director Ajax aka Francis, Wade is tortured in an attempt to make him develop a mutation, which he does. Wade regenerates. But the problem is the cancer mutated and disfigured him. After fighting Ajax, Wade takes up the mantle of Deadpool and sets off on his quest for revenge, while getting lectured by some X Men along the way…

Wow. Just freaking wow. Ryan Reynolds has gotten gotten the short end of the stick when it came to superhero movies in the past, including his first run as Wilson in X Men Origins: Wolverine as well as Hal Jordan in Green Lantern , which he makes a joke at in this movie. This time, he gets to fully immerse himself in the character and he is Deadpool to a T. The supporting cast is great as well. Besides being a hilarious comedy, it is balanced with some awesome action scenes and there is surprisingly a lot of heart. I absolutely recommend this to fans and even people who aren’t into the genre. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Open House (2018)

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Open House is the story of a young man and his mother that move into a relatives house temporarily following the tragedy of their Husband/father being killed by a driver that has a heart attack and runs off the road and hits him. Yes already this seems a bit over the top. I won’t go to much further into the story, mostly because it would’t take much to spoil but on the drive there is when it starts to get weird.

The acting is actually pretty solid, and it should be noted the movie does contain some nudity so be aware of that if you intend to watch it with children present. The movie itself is pretty basic, not bad but not good. It is actually one of the worse Netflix originals I have seen. That isn’t to say it isn’t worth watching, casual fans of the genre will enjoy it, tho any of the more devout fans will probably be a bit bored. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

X-Men: Apocalypse

xmen apocalypse

Look at this poster. Study it’s dark tone and how Apocalypse looks sinister and gives you a strong sense of foreboding. Good. That ain’t the movie you are getting.

Long ago there existed an extremely powerful mutant in Egypt, god-like even. He was followed by four disciples, mutants that he imbued with more power than they already had. While most of Egypt viewed this mutant as god, others didn’t and caused a pyramid to crash on him and he went into hibernation for like 2000 years until he woke up after a excavation. Apocalypse pretty much wants his god-like reign back so he finds Psylocke, Storm, Angel, and a devastated Magneto to empower as his Four Horsemen and it’s up to the mismatched X Men to stop him…

This is the weakest link of the whole trilogy and personally it’s my least favorite X Men movie. Apocalypse, for those of you who don’t know, is one of the most devastatingly powerful mutants in Marvel history. He is damn near unkillable and the amount of badassness he possesses is insane. Despite this, in the movie he really doesn’t do jack shit but look awkward. The horsemen he chooses make no sense either; in fact he just kinda chooses whoever he comes across. But let’s talk about the X-Men. We get younger versions of classics like Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Nightcrawler as well as more Mystique- who pretty much is whole on Mockingjay by now and Beast. None of the new kids really sold me. What became a trend with these prequels is every movie being a new decade and this damn movie plays the 80’s card hard. Like annoyingly hard. Nightcrawler is pulling a Thriller era MJ for most of it. Honestly, again, I stuck around for McAvoy and Fassbender again, who rock it again as X and Magneto. And the destruction is solid if you like disaster movies but it is heavy on the CGI. My final verdict is it’s a decent popcorn action film but it’s a shitty X-Men movie. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Definitely,Maybe (2008)

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Definitely maybe is basically the short version of how I met your mother when it comes down to it. A daughter wants to know how her parents that are now going through a divorce met, and her father played my Ryan Reynolds is a bit less than enthusiastic to tell his young daughter the history of his dating life. Hey I can see why, who wants to tell their kids their dating history. The movie isn’t Ryans usual comedy, it is actually a sweet and yet at times sad story of a man that just can’t seem to get the timing down with the love of his life.

The movie does of course have a happy ending as it is above anything a love story, for fans of that the movie is actually great. The story is sweet, and well done. Many people however will be going into this expecting it to be a comedy and will be greatly disappointed. That being said, it is worth a watch. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.