Category: Uncategorized

Near Dark

So Caleb is a good-looking country guy working on his dad’s farm with his little brother, living the typical boring farmhand life. When he and a buddy go into the city looking for chicks, beer, and a good time, Caleb finds it. Mae is hot, quirky, and likes Caleb a lot…so much she nearly bites his throat out getting some hanky panky. Understandably Caleb freaks out and heads back home, bleeding out and feeling his skin burn the closer morning comes. Before he can reach his home, he’s snatched by a gang layered in thick blankets who speed off with Caleb in an RV with all blacked out windows. Odd. Turns out Mae is part of a nomadic gang of anarchist vampires, feeding and raising hell by night while laying low come dawn. Caleb is drawn between his budding love for Mae and the comradery he begins slowly forging with the maniacs but is he willing to destroy his soul for love and immortality?

Ok, this movie is a gem and I’m utterly pissed its a pain in the ass to find. There’s some legal rights dispute bullshit with it so finding it physically is going to cost you a hell of a penny, and streaming is a headache. I found it on Tubi- once- after trying for over a decade to track it down.

If you loved Aliens the gang will look extremely familiar; Henrickson, Goldstein, and Paxton did Near Dark right after Aliens actually. Bill Paxton (RIP) steals the show as a menacing, hilarious, and awesome villain. The acting all around is great. I love that the movie is a terrific balance between a western and a horror movie. I weirdly found many themes from Twilight as far as Caleb’s pathos when he has to fight the cravings to keep his humanity, just obviously much better and effectively done, reminding me much of Kaneke’s arc in Tokyo Ghoul (season 1) . I do like how they came up with a clever means to a happy, albeit badass ending. In the end, I implore you to go find Near Dark and experience this super underrated, near-forgotten gem for yourselves. May the gaming gods bring you glory Mr Pig Knuckle.

Salem’s Lot (2024)

You know, this is one of those damn movies I never thought would see the light of day (hehe lame vampire pun). It was announced, delayed, then disappeared for a few years before getting dumped on HBO Max like a dead carcass at the slaughterhouse. Years ago I reviewed the novel for Salem’s Lot and since then I’ve read it at least twice and I can say it is a damn good book and a pretty solid vampire tale. While I never saw either mini-series, the trailer for 2024 was enough to make Savior and I at least excited for a flaming dumpster fire. Did we get it?

Sadly no. Salem’s Lot 2024 is not a garbage fire. That’s not to say it’s particularly great or even good. The cast gives decent performances given a pretty crammed script. Much of the soul, the suspense, and characters of the book are crushed, compacted, and repackaged into a forgettable vampire romp. It’s the kind you can forget the same day you watch it which honestly is a shame given how good the book was. The vampires are more like zombies. Barlow isn’t a nightmarish ghoul like in the 79 mini-series but a parody of that memorable design. There’s not even as much gore or hilarious jumpscares as I thought there’d be in the trailer. In the end, read the book or seek out another vamp movie because good or bad, you’ll remember it more than this thing that should’ve stayed in the development grave. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Oppenheimer

So I have to say I typically hate biopics. I’ve never been into biographies, and even less into autobiographical pieces. I went to see Oppenheimer in theaters at least expecting a good movie, considering the A-list cast and knowing it was directed by Christopher Nolan.

So the movie tells the story of acclaimed physicist and quantum theorist J. Robert Oppenheimer: the American Prometheus whose work and leadership at Los Alamos through WWII led to the first successful creation and test of the nuclear bomb, the end of WWII, and the arms race with the Soviet Union kicking off the Cold War. Throughout all of this, we get a very human look at a brilliant but very flawed man as well as the political crucifixion he endured in the midst of McCarthyism as well as the psychological fallout from what he unleashed on the world.

I’m not going to mince words, I loved Oppenheimer because I felt like it told such a truly human story. Cillian Murphy is spectacular and is surrounded by an outstanding supporting cast. Nolan brings his S game when it comes to establishing visuals that are both beautiful, awe-inspiring and damn terrifying. The music is beautiful. It is a 3+ hour movie that feels long but the pace runs smoothly. Whether the movie is historically accurate, I can’t really say. I do want to read the book much of the film was based on, which REALLY says something considering the opening statements of this review. What I admire maybe the most is the passion and love put into this movie, making it shine brighter and inspiring me quite a bit as a writer. In the end, I highly recommend it, especially in 4k our Blu-ray at the very least. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Doctor Strange: The Flight of Bones

Dr. Stephen Strange has overcome some tremendous feats not only as the Sorcerer Supreme, long-time hero, and renowned surgeon. Despite how much he’s overcome, his hands are failing him. While searching for help in man’s medicine, a new magical threat emerges when people begin spontaneously combusting and one of his dear friends becomes wrapped up in a deadly cult at the cause of the deadly pyres. Just another day for the good doctor, eh, true believers?

Ok, so first I gotta say two things about this book: the story itself is incredibly short and the art is the bizarre beauty I love about Strange’s stories. I was disappointed the Flight of Bones story itself is so short because I was getting pretty invested before it just…ends. There are quite a few other shorts in the book that are mostly good, all with different art styles that are wholly unique and eye-catching. When it comes to Marvel, Strange reliably has some of the coolest artwork and designs, and this book is no exception. Being under Marvel Knights, there is some adult imagery that might scare away the younger kids but many of the stories keep to a darker, bordering on horror edge that I love and I wish the MCU would embrace more with Strange. In the end, while not the best Strange story and not something that will make you fall in love with the Sorcerer Supreme ( I highly recommend Dr Strange & Dr Doom: Triumph and Torment ) it’s still worth checking out for some faster reads. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Fisherman

Grief is a terrible thing everyone needs to overcome in their lives. For widower, Abe, fishing is his great release. After losing his wife, fishing helped him get his life back on track. When his coworker, Dan, goes through an unimaginable tragedy, Abe extends a hand of friendship and offers to fish with him. While a quiet friendship blooms between the widowed men, Abe can’t help but see Dan drowning in despair…until they stop for breakfast on a rainy morning, going towards a spot Abe never heard of that Dan seems all too eager to fish at. Almost obsessively so. During this breakfast, they are treated to a folktale of the river, dark magic, the impossible, and Der Fischer who may have opened the gates between life and death. Desperately the men are on a course that might not just cost them their lives, but also their souls as Dan is willing to sacrifice it all for what he lost? Will Abe make the same choice?

So immediately when reading this I thought of a more Lovecraftian take on Pet Sematary . In many ways, I can see it but Langan weaves a pretty solid story telling the folktale of Der Fischer in between the main story. His writing story is very easy to get into and flowed very smoothly to me. Some will get put off by the story within a story aspect of the novel but he neatly pulls it off and neither story feels overstayed. I like his depictions of Dan’s rising mania and Abe’s internal battle against the abominations they face. I found myself wanting to know more about what Der Fischer unleashed and got to see more horrors from the other world. In the end, if you liked Pet Sematary and wished there was Lovecraft in it or wanted to get into cosmic horror but wanted something more modern, the Fisherman is a quick, well-written read I’d recommend. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mary: An Awakening of Terror

Mary is a nobody in every sense of the word. Banking on the dreaded 5-0 and wading into menopause, alone in the world except for her “loved ones” (tiny little porcelain figurines she talks to, her life turns upside down once she loses her job. A job that barely pays her enough to get by as is. A sliver lining comes when her loathsome, dying aunt Nadine calls begging for help. After pissing off Mary’s cousin, Nadine is alone and unable to care for herself. Mary is soon left to journey from New York to the eerie desert town where she grew up. Returning home resurfaces not only her repressed hatred for her crass, despicable aunt by the layers of trauma she spent her life hiding as well as what might be the secrets of the town itself? With bodies piling up, visions playing Mary, and an obsession with a hospital that had been converted from an infamous serial killer’s home, the question becomes who and what is Mary?

So I read this book for my book club, going in completely fresh. I knew nothing about the book or author and was even kind of surprised it came out in 2022. As someone who sucks at socializing, suffers from a host of mental health issues, and is just awkward as hell, I felt for Mary. I found her to almost be an updated Carrie, someone shy, frumpy and pathetically beaten down who just wanted to matter. This story takes a lot of crazy ass turns from being a ghost story, to a psychological thriller, to some bizarre Midsommar levels of WTF. The book deserves to be experienced because it is fun as hell trying to figure out where its going. However fun that particular aspect is, it causes some issues towards the end. A character I hated got a half-assed redemption and the ultimate conclusion, while being fun and over-the-top gory, didn’t really satisfy me. The ending couple of chapters felt unnecessarily open-ended, but given how weird of a ride this story was, I can’t tell you if a sequel would work.

In the end, I enjoyed this book a lot but I didn’t love it. It’s very well written and really engaging but the ending as well as some plot choices fumble it from being great. Absolutely a good read worth checking out if you want a weirder kind of horror book. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Drug Dealer Simulator 2 Comes to PS5

Yes, that headline is correct. For many who have wanted to check out Drug Dealer Simulator 2 but could not due to it only being on Steam, the wait is almost over. Now console players can also start out a small-time dealer and work their way up to their wildest dreams of running the drug world, with friends online. The PS5 release will contain the full Steam version of the game, including all updates, including the one just released alongside this news. See below for an update video and PS5 screenshots.

  • Play solo or in 3-player online co-op
  • Acquire ingredients and create and portion your own products
  • Distribute merchandise and attract new customers
  • Use influencer networks to increase demand for your own brand’s merchandise
  • Avoid the militia and beware of raids on your headquarters
  • Put up a fight or flee hostile gangsters
  • Hire employees and bodyguards and create a hierarchy of power
  • Acquire and decorate new hideouts, from shacks to outrageous villas
  • Buy boats and yachts and enjoy your wealth

The Playground

Hey kids, have you ever heard of splatterpunk? Have you ever watched Willy Wonka and wished there was Saw in it? Well, Aaron Beauregard has you covered. Before I begin, the cover of this book tells you exactly what you’re getting into. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, fuck that, here’s a good exception to the rule. This book is gnarly so if you have a weak stomach and the idea of children dying triggers you at all as well as some really, really WTF sexual stuff involving poop at one point, this book is absolutely not for you.

3 low-income families receive the chance of a lifetime from the reclusive billionaire and philanthropist, Geraldine Borden. She and her adopted son, Rock, have invited the families with their total 8 children to come and test some new state-of-the-art playground equipment in exchange for $3,000 per family. Not a bad deal, right? The parents even get to relax in their own private theater and monitor their children at play…until things go violently wrong. Ambushed by ravenous dogs, the children are chased through a razor blade-laced chute to a dungeonous series of macabre games where survival is the only reward. The parents, captive in places, are forced to watch there beloved children fight not only the horrific games but also themselves as Geraldine’s twisted games unfold…

Holy shit this book gave me whiplash. Is it a fun read? Hell no! Is it an exciting read I literally couldn’t put down? I really couldn’t. The kids are the superstars of the story and a lot of praise to Beauregard for writing thoughtful, authentic children instead of angelic Hollywood kind of kids. I felt for quite a few of them on their reactions and grisly fates while also cheering when the villain of the eight gets his just deserts. The games are eerie and pretty imaginative with some incredibly disturbing outcomes. I like that Geraldine is in no way a sympathetic or redeemable villain in a modern world of tragic villains. Rock is a really tragic character and his redemption at the end is well-earned. The flaw in the book is the parent sections which do drag the pacing down. The book is organized into 3 POVs: the kids, the parents, and Geraldine. The parents are literally locked in place and most of their sections revolve around reacting to what just happened to their kids. It makes the pacing a bit bumpy, especially around the middle.

So in the end I really enjoyed the book, though all be damned if I didn’t need a hot shower and a hug after. No, there’s no happy ending and yes this book is depressing and horrific but the ending lands and is self-contained which is cool. It’s honestly well worth a read and well written if you can get past the grotestuque subject matter. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Blood Meridan

What do you think of when you hear about the Old West? Cowboys, Indians, covered wagons, and dusty saloons where a shootout is a shot of whiskey and a whore away? John Wayne? Clint Eastwood? John Marsten? Well, like most people I did too. I heard many tales that this novel was one of the darkest, if not the darkest westerns ever written with one of the most fascinating villains in literature. Does it hold up to the claims?

The story begins with a young runaway referred to as The Kid who finds his way into the Glanton Gang, a crew of scalp hunters roaming across the west near Texas and Mexico in the 1850s. Normally I’d go deeper into the story but Blood Meridian doesn’t have much of a coventional plot. Much of the book is an experience in haunting philoshy and depravity. For real, this book is grim as hell so if you are easily triggered by racism, violence to people or animals, gore, or rape stay away from this book.

Cormac McCarthy (Rest in Peace) beautifully illustrates a hellish depiction of the Old West and the horrors of man left his own devices. There is some truly horrifying imagery and the way the book is written, I felt strained as the gang does getting worn down after dozens of bloody raids and losses in a unforgiving desert. Could this be a second hand horror story? I can see it in the way Dante’s Inferno could be seen that way. I really like that the Kid is not a good kid corrupted by the debauchery or even has anything close to a redemption- nope- he’s just as cutthroat and ruthless as Glanton and the rest. The standout, the man who does steal the show of the book, is the mysterious Judge Holden. He’s a huge, hulking hairless albino man that is almost inhumanly intelligent and depraved more than the rest; the sermons he gives are legendary and off putting as hell. Whenever Holden appears I was instantly griped and I think the praise he receives as a villain is well earned.

So is this book a masterpiece, yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. First, this is not written like a modern book. McCarthy is a novelist in the true sense of the word; ten pages in I said “oh shit this is one of them smart people books we don’t get anymore”. He won’t hold your hand. He has a pretty impressive vocabulary. You have to pay attention. One thing I admit irked the shit out of me was that there are no quotation marks but an awful lot of dialogue; do you see why I said pay attention? He also loves giant sentences with little punctuation so if you are trying to rush, things will blend together. The pacing is a double edged sword. 350 pages doesn’t feel like it.

In the end, this book is a masterpiece of dark fiction but be warned it’s not the easiest read and if the book didn’t hit you hard enough, the ending will. May the gaming gods bring you glory and like the Judge, you keep dancing on and on gleefully.

505 Pulse to publish Among the Trolls

505 Pulse, the indie focused label of 505 Games, is proud to partner with Avantgarden to bring Among the Trolls, a first-person survival adventure game, to Steam Early Access in 2025. The collaboration is set to deliver a fresh, captivating experience that challenges players to survive and uncover mysteries in a vibrant, untamed wilderness.  

Set on a secluded Finnish archipelago, Among the Trolls invites players to explore lush forests, survive against the odds, and unravel ancient mysteries tied to their lost relatives. The game emphasizes a dynamic, living world where player actions not only affect survival but also influence the environment and its creatures.  

“We’re thrilled to collaborate with Avantgarden on reigniting the Among the Trolls project. They embraced the concept with passion” said Fabrizio Faraoni, Sr. Global Brand Manager from 505 Pulse. “There was a community of players, eager to know more about the status of the project. We worked for a long time behind the scenes, and we are finally ready to show early glimpses of the game they are putting together. A truly unique experience that blends survival mechanics, rich storytelling over the stunning Finnish landscape.”

Game highlights  

  • Immersive survival gameplay: Gather resources, craft tools, and hone your survival skills in a dynamic world that responds to your actions. 
  • Dynamic exploration: Discover hidden paths, solve environmental puzzles, and encounter mythical beings in a richly detailed Finnish wilderness. 
  • Living ecosystem: Thrive in harmony with a nature that reacts to your choices, offering a unique blend of exploration and strategy. 
  • Compelling narrative: Gradually uncover the truth behind your relative’s disappearance and the ancient lore of the Nordic forests.

Among the Trolls offers a compelling mix of exploration, survival, and storytelling that stands out in today’s gaming landscape. By launching on Steam Early Access, the development team aims to involve the gaming community in shaping the game’s evolution, ensuring a polished and engaging final experience.  

“We see Among the Trolls as an opportunity to deliver a different take on the survival genre and shape it with the help of its dedicated community,” said AvantGarden’s Creative Director Giorgio Macellari. “Our partnership with 505 Pulse allows us to deliver this vision to a global audience.”

Players eager to embark on this adventure can wishlist the game on Steam here and stay updated on its development progress. 

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