Medieval Life (Mobile)

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I don’t expect much from free games, that is even more true on mobile devices. But this one is just, well bad if I am being honest. There is very little to do, fighting is nothing more than tapping a button as a bar moves in hopes that your bar is higher than theirs. You buy a new weapon as you level up which allows your bar to go higher and you collect money by killing monsters and selling what I can only assume is their bodies. Earning experience is slow, a couple for each kill and more when you buy furniture for your house, and no that is not a joke. I would advise you to avoid this game. As always thanks for your time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wolfenstein: The new Order

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Over the past few years Bethesda has become my favorite gaming company with juggernauts like Fallout and Elder Scrolls to more modern hits like Dishonored and Evil Within. Last Year my favorite title was the Doom remake, so when I found Wolfenstein: The New Order for $20 at a PSN sale, I jumped at it enthusiastically. In many ways I wasn’t disappointed. Wolfenstein takes place in a alternate history where Nazi Germany won WW2 and took over  the world and we play as J. D. Blazkowicz as he works with a underground rebellion to overthrow them. First I have to say I loved how the game’s upgrading system and trophies were linked to fun and pretty easy mini challenges that gave you perks once unlocked, I actually had every stealth perk which is highly usually considering I’m almost the run-and-gun type. Like Dishonored and Evil Within, there are multiple ways to approach a situation with it’s own set of pros and cons. Another huge pro I give the game is the intensity of it. Much of the story is surprisingly suspenseful and many times I felt I was our protagonist. A small issue I have is how much the game increasingly relies on a laser cutter that doubles as a laser rifle, I upgraded it all the way and the damn thing keeps dying out and charging stations are either few and far between or the charge time can kill you. I warn you now, you will die a lot and will be replaying a lot of the game again and again to pass a tricky ass part. Other  small grips are sometimes you get lost; boss battles can be a pain in the ass, and the enemies can be frustrating but in the end it’s a pretty awesome game that will keep you occupied and interested if you want a FPS that ain’t your humdrum C.O.D or Battlefield. Overall, give new order a try because I bet New Colossus will be a hell of a ride.

Doom

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You ever miss the time when shooters weren’t about online multiplayer and didn’t give a rat’s ass about realistic physics or stories that try way too hard to be deep or relevant? Hell you remember when games used to be fun? Well, doom is for you. A epic, jacked up, silent protagonist who isn’t whiny or troubled, he just hates demons and has some severe anger management issues. You play as “Doomguy”, a dude who wakes from cryo sleep on Mars after a portal to hell is opened and demons are running free. This game is epic, disgustingly bloody, and fast paced old fashioned fun. The campaign is the highlight of the experience for a refreshing change in modern gaming while the multiplayer takes a backseat. The controls are simple. I really enjoyed the game’s weapon upgrading system, not only can you choose a secondary fire for your favorite guns but can even level up multiple secondary fires for each if you find the upgrading stations to do so, creating some wickedly pimped out death machines ( how sexy is it to have a shotgun that can unload a full catche of ammo at once or become a grenade launcher?) The soundtrack is retro 90’s metal based for a blast to the past. If you really want to have a negative, it’s in the multiplayer which feels like a Black Ops 3 knockoff with more platforming and random demonic power ups scattered through. I’ve encountered some glitches in it and a few too many shitty spawn points. If you want an amazing single player challenge or just craving a old school FPS experience than I highly recommend the game I lovingly would call best of 2016 in my book, and may the gaming gods be with you.

Prison Architect PS4

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Ever wondered what it would be like to run a prison? Well this game will attempt to let you find out. Whether you want to run a maximum security prison that gives people the chair or a minimum security prison where cells are basically always open is completely up to you. Hire guards, build cells,showers and recreational rooms or whatever else you feel is necessary. Admittedly I had a lot of fun with this game even tho I sucked at it. Watching these weird little people stab each other during prison riots was oddly fun and satisfying tho and without a lot of sim games to choose from on console any fan of the genre should give this a buy, but others should probably stay clear, As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Gardenscapes

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Gardenscapes is a free to play mobile game. With solid graphics and nice sounds the game is about a mansion you inherit, but the garden is a bit run down. You play various puzzles to earn stars in order to upgrade parts of your garden whether it be benches, plants or even a tree house. I didn’t much like the game myself, tho I don’t really like puzzle games. If you are into that sort of thing I would suggest trying it out, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mount and Blade: Warband ps4

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Every so often I see a game and I want to try it, but I don’t know enough to risk the money. Normally $20, I got it for $8 this week on sale since admittedly I have blown more on worse endeavors. Maybe its because its not much money that despite the faults of this game, which there are quite a few. The controls are clunky, shooting an arrow is difficult to aim and swinging a sword or staff is basically the prototype for For Honor from Ubisoft. Its stiff and not as well done, but its functional. The visuals are outdated even when it released on PC back in 2008 and while the PS4 version is improved that is not saying much.

With all the negatives out of the way I must admit greatly enjoying this game. See as a guy that loves swords and elves and shit, this game is sort of like a holy grail for me. You get a short tutorial on how the combat works it drops you into the game, alone and with one pretty short mission to get you started you are left on your way to make a name for yourself. Unlike most games you are not a chosen one or even any one of note. You simply are. From here you can hire mercenaries to protect you as you trade, or raid villages and castles or even if you want to attempt to marry a rich woman with land of her own. That being said these options all exist for women, there is even trophies dedicated specifically towards playing as a female character.

The main draw of this game for me is that its a wide open and unforgiving much like earth hundreds of years ago. One wrong move and your army is gone and you are left to start again if you survive. One right move however, and the world is your for the taken. So to you that join me, may the gaming gods bring you glory. And to those that do not, may they bring you even more glory.

Star Trek 4 The Voyage Home

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Star Trek 4, The Voyage Home (1986) is, in my humble opinion, is the best of the original series movies.  The plot is pretty simple. A probe comes to Earth with a message that starts boiling the ocean and destroying the world, and as Spock points out only human arrogance would assume the message was for them. As the crew quickly discovers the now extinct humpback whales are the only one that can answer them and save the planet. So Spock does some calculations no human can understand and their stolen Bird Of Prey is flying back in time.

Of course they quickly discover a pair with a pregnant female. Now that is basically the quick version. The movie looks good for its time and the acting is what you would expect from Star Trek. This one while my favorite is by many sort of the black sheep. While most people agree the odd numbered movies suck, this one is greatly argued by many. Usually it comes down to this or Wrath of Kahn and honestly neither answer is wrong. Voyage is a far less series movie and many would prefer while Kahn is an instant classic with one of the best space battle scenes in history. With that being said id recommend watching both. As always thanks for the time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Stardew Valley PS4 Review Updated

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Stardew Valley is basically this generation’s Harvest Moon. You grow crops, raise animals, meet new people, etc. I know this sounds really boring. Yet somehow it’s relaxing and I can’t explain why.

The game starts with you being gifted a farm that is pretty run-down. Your first day or 2 is spent clearing a small patch of land and planting your first crops. After that, you will be meeting new people and getting to know the town. However, you can really go a million different directions here.  You may decide to spend your time fishing or diving into the depths of a cave. Personally,I love planting crops and raising animals. As always, thanks for your time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

It has been a long time since I first wrote this review, and a ton of things have been added to this game, and I thought maybe I should add to this. For example, the game now has online and local multiplayer, a ton more crop types, and at least 2 new areas to explore. More new cut scenes than I have ever seen, new characters, and even the ability to adopt multiple pets. You are no longer stuck just picking a dog or a cat. Now is an even better time to pick this up if you haven’t already.

Fallout New Vegas

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Many people see New Vegas as the sort of black sheep of the family. I am not one of them. Vegas is probably my favorite of them all. The story of the courier was full of twist, turns, strange individuals and death. Traveling the Mojave was interesting, and seeing what happened to Vegas after the war was fun. While the groups are fun, like one that worships Elvis and walks around dressed like him and talking like him there were other areas that the game improved on from Fallout 3. For example being able to choose different types of ammo was amazing. Some examples of this were armor piercing rounds worked great with a sniper rifle.

The looks of the game were slightly better than its predecessor and the sound set the tone beautifully. the DLC was also fun but admittedly wasn’t as fun as it was in Fallout 3, but that doesn’t mean it was bad. the sierra madre was a pain in the ass sure, but it was an interesting twist on the series. As always thanks for your time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Top 6 Resident Evil Bosses

So a few days ago we got word that Resident Evil: Revelations is coming to PS4 and XBox One and so I decided to talk about some of my favorite RE bosses to get in the mood. Yes, we will be counting up, starting from 6. So lets begin:

neptune 6. Neptune (Resident Evil remake)- what’s scary than a giant ass fish with rows of massive teeth and black soulless eyes? How bout if that was undead too. In the remake of the classic we are caught in a flooded lab,restricted to a broken circular catwalk. Neptune and the other sharks swim menacingly alongside of you; the smaller sharks can be blown away by a shotgun but Neptune is far bigger and can easily kill you in one hit; while solving the lab’s puzzle you can hear him slamming into the reinforced glass.It’s pretty fulfilling to fry his giant ass and know Jaws ain’t got shit on you.

birkin 5. William Birkin (Resident Evil 2)- The creator of the G Virus and final boss of the classic sequel, Birkin is almost a tragic villain in that he sold his soul for his creation. When gunned down by Umbrella’s containment forces, he injected himself with his virus and became what you see before you. But this is just the beginning. He mutates several times, each more disgusting until he pretty muck is a womb of teeth and tentacles that could swallow a Buick. Be sure to save beforehand.

wesker 4. Albert Wesker (Resident Evil, Code Veronica X, and Resident Evil 5)- the original snake in the grass, Wesker was the head of the S.T.A.R.S team in the first game, until we find out he was secretly a researcher for Umbrella the whole time. At first it looks like the Tyrannt kills him in the end, he saves himself by injecting himself with a serum that gives him super speed, strength, reflexes, and durability. Never really a favorite of mine I give him credit for his dastardly machinations and rivalry with series protagonist Chris Redfield.

rere2 3. Lisa Trevors (Resident Evil remake)- this bitch gives me the willies if you couldn’t tell by my Resident Evil review. She was taken from her parents at a young age and subjected to horrible experiments. The mask she wears could possibly be made from the carcus of her own mother, which she pathetically moan and weeps for as she slumps after you. She can be stunned by gunfire but not killed by it; at the end she commits suicide holding her mother’s skull, weeping all the way down…poor thing.

krauser 2. Jack Krauser (Resident Evil 4)- Krauser is a bad ass. Once an alley of Leon Kennedy during his early days as a government agent, he was believed to have died in a plane crash. Now imbued with the Las Plagus, he has increased durability, strength, and agility, oh and has such control over the parasite he can use it to warp his arm into a deadly wing that is both dangerous weapon and effective shield. And the final battle takes place under a time limit. If only this amazing games finale was this epic.

nemesis1.  Nemesis (Resident Evil 3)- how could he not be? He’s ridiculously strong, can take an obscene amount of damage without flinching, and has a damn rocket launcher for when he gets bored of his tentacles and bare hands. And of course all that’s just the first time you face off against him; he mutates into an nightmare by the end. He feels omnipresent, hearing him bang against the reinforced walls of the police station, hearing him groan. The movie version does him no justice because once you fight this bastard, you never forget.

I hope you all enjoyed my countdown; if you have any Resident Evil bosses you think I forgot let me know down below and may the gaming gods bring you glory.