Category: Retro Review

We continue our thread of Assassin’s Creed reviews with the third game that ain’t 3. Though there is a 3 but it’s really 5 I guess. Ah well. So Brotherhood is the second part of Ezio’s trilogy and a pretty good entry. It picks up almost exactly where it leaves him at the end of Assassin’s Creed 2 where sadly, the Borgia family reigns hell down on him, kill uncle Mario, and Ezio is understandably pissed, but this time he can’t do it alone. By rescuing the weak and down trodden from the Borgia’s bullying, he pulls them into his newly developing Assassin brotherhood…oh and did I mention Desmond does stuff with that Lucy chick who totally ain’t a Templar…

Ok, as far as the series goes, it’s a good game. In fact, it really does feel like a huge epilogue to 2 in a lot of ways. The biggest new addition is the ability to now call for back up from assassins you saved and train, getting some really badass attacks in time. Another really cool thing is the side quests where you have to destroy Da Vinci’s prototype war machines, that was a lot of fun. Something I didn’t like were the QTEs they snuck in there, especially towards the end. Another thing I got to say is Desmond’s stuff while not bad and fun does feel like filler and breaks immersion  bit. That twist at the end I don’t really buy either but alright. In the end, it’s a fun game and a good continuation to 2. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

I say this right now: Assassin’s Creed 2 is the very definition of a superior sequel in every freaking way I can think of. Better game play, better story, more varied combat, a much more interesting, likable character, and a hell of a lot more to do. Plus, it’s my favorite time period covered in the series so far.

Desmond and Lucy escape Abstergo after Desmond discovers he acquired Eagle Vision and we quickly discover he has learned a bit of fighting prowess from his ancestor. The Bleeding Effect is taking place- where the skills of his ancestors is being transmitted through him via the Animus. He connects with a group connected with modern day Assassins, who want to take down the Templars running Abstergo. There plan is to relaunch Desmond into the Animus and have him relive the early days of another ancestor and gather training as he himself learns how to be an Assassin. This ancestor is Ezio Auditorie de Firenze. Ezio’s had the perfect life until his father is betrayed, his father and brothers hung for treason, family broken and wanted and Ezio left hapless until his uncle Mario (yes, they do make a joke about Mario) gives them refuge and helps Ezio discover a family secret and we see Ezio’s transformation from carefree playboy to badass Assassin…

As I said in the intro, this is a superior sequel in every way. Ezio is a much more deeper character with a lot more personality than Altair. Fighting mechanics royally improved; water doesn’t kill you anymore. Graphics are hugely improved and the Italian Renaissance is  gorgeously rendered. For side missions, we can carry separate contracts, do courier  missions, beat up cheating bastards, solve fascinating glyph puzzles, traverse hidden area puzzles for rare armor or just pimp your homestead. I loved being able to use Da Vinci’s inventions as well, that was so epic. I seriously recommend this as your first entry into the series and it is worth buying again. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

“Nothing is known, but everything is permitted.”- the Assassin’s Creed.

So a bit over a decade ago, the world was taken by storm over a pretty damn imperfect game with a premise so awesome people could forget how kinda crappy the actual game was. For ages a secret feud has brewed between Assassins and Templars and in the present (or very near future, I forget which) we find a nothing, average dude named Desmond who is abducted by almighty corporation Abstergo and placed in a device called a Animus to have him relive the memories of his ancestors, because they want to find the almighty Apple of Eden.  For most of the game we play as Desmond’s ancestor, Altair during The Crusades as he has to rediscover what being an Assassin really means as he slays the corrupt…

Awesome premise right? Well yeah. The story was LITERALLY the only thing that kept me going through this. It’s intriguing. But my god this damn game repeats itself more than that one family member we all have that won’t shut he hell up. Literally, you get an assignment, travel to the target, get info on target, kill target sloppily, get out, rinse and repeat like 8 times. There is rarely such a thing as a perfect kill. Either the guy is in a crowd of annoying, obnoxious civilians- which by the way fail your mission if kill them on accident- or circumstances don’t align perfectly. Combat isn’t great and rather bland. Graphics are solid. Desmond is OK as a character but the rest of the characters are just bland, especially Altair. Also, fair warning, I had a shit ton of glitches with it on PS3 but I didn’t have internet then so maybe patches were released; another fair warning, falling in water equals instant death. One of them damn games. In the end, I personally can’t recommend it, start with 2, which does a decent job recapping it anyway without the hours of bastard glitches and repetition. May the gaming gods bring you glory and best wishes.

While Enter The Matrix was an original story, Path of Neo we get a loose recap of the Matrix trilogy. There is of course similar themes but this time we get to experience the powers of the One. You can stop bullets, use Neo’s famous moves, and you can fly at points during certain fights. When the game sticks to the movies, it does pretty good, though you don’t get anything but the final fight between Neo and Smith at the end of Revolutions for the finale. A lot of the filler is pretty entertaining too, like many of the tutorials are themed after martial arts flicks or a Yakuza shootout but some of the middle filler can be kind of irritating. Many know of how the finale changes, instead Neo sacrificing himself for all man, Smith pulls billions of his clones together with pieces of the Matrix to make a humongous Smith…that was something. The biggest flaw are the unskippable cinematic cutscenes; before the final fight, you’ll be waiting nearly ten minutes. In the end, it’s a fun game just not perfect either. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Remember the early 2000’s when the Matrix ruled the world? Although I’m not the biggest fan of the movies, I do however think the games were fun as hell. For Enter The Matrix we play as Niobe and Ghost in a plot running parallel (I believe ) to Reloaded and Revolutions. Using a mix of hand to hand combat and gunplay, we get to slow time through the Matrix and take down cops, SWAT, and agents. While not perfect by any means, this game still has some really entertaining combat and graphically was pretty damn jaw dropping for the era. The driving portions can be fun but much of the time can be annoying as hell. There’s a car chase about halfway through where you have to follow a plan that almost made me rip my own hair out. Fighting is mostly button mashing and easy to master, which kind of kills any real threat the agents may have. The epitome of a review I can give this game is it’s fun but flawed but still worth checking out, especially if you loved the movies. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Nothing brings me back to the magic video games can bring than Star Fox 64. In the Lylat System, a far away system of anthropomorphic animals, a evil scientist named Andross is trying to take control after being banished to planet Venom. Years ago the original Star Fox team: James McCloud, Peppy Hare, and Pigma Dangar went to investigate disturbances from the planet only to be caught in a trap. Pigma betrayed them, and Peppy narrowly escaped, leaving James in Andross’s hands. It’s up to Fox and Peppy with new crew members Falco Lambardi and Slippy Toad to save the Lylat system and destroy Andross.

This underappreciated N64 gem stole my heart as a kid with it’s epic level designs, smooth flying I still haven’t felt replicated to this day. What blew my mind then was how you could forge you’re own path across the system by beating hidden objectives on stages and unlocking passage to harder worlds. Though seven stages to finish the games, there are a crap load of outcomes, including two totally different final battles (the hardest and true ending providing some damn good nightmare fuel at that too). The bosses are fun and many are pretty tricky and the unrelenting hordes of cannon fodder never gets old. If you’re older, there’s plenty of either messed up or funny things you will catch like Peppy constantly rubbing how your father is dead in your face or Slippy trying to talk trash. It’s one hell of a fun time and I give it my highest recommendations. May the gaming gods bring you glory.