Category: Horror

The craze for Paranormal Activity was on after the buzz and bucks the first movie got and oh how found footage found life in horror cinema again, The Last Exorcism being a prime example of the time. Well, of course there was a sequel and it was made and out in blinding speed…

Paranormal Activity 2 can strangely be called a prequel in that it takes place just before the events of the first one kick off. We follow Kristy, younger sister of Katie of the first movie, and her family as they are terrorized by an unseen force after her son Hunter is born. We begin to discover clues about the sisters past and we learn a dark family secret, leading to a pretty dick move that ultimately bites the family in the ass at the end…

Somehow I found myself thinking the second installment of this series is both better and worse than the first. Better because it is more eventful with some crazier shit going down in the second and third acts and the back story does become quite intriguing. The acting is still solid and performed by people I can see as regular normal people, in fact I cared about there well being throughout. Worse because while the effects are better and more entertaining to watch, the third act breaks the straw on the play at realism.  Granted it’s not unforgivable or damage the film at all really, but you know it’s a damn movie now. Another thing I have to say is I found the pacing in the first act slower than the first movie’s and pretty boring. In the end it’s a solid sequel and worth a watch late night. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

In 2009, my last year in high school, my class was taken by storm by a little horror movie called Paranormal Activity. It’s a simple found footage film about a well off couple, Katie and Micah, who have weird shit going on in there house and get a camera to record it overnight. As days go on, the activity becomes more malevolent and it takes a toll on Katie and a mystery unfolds about Katie’s upbringing that can prove dangerous.

This is kind of a tricky movie to talk about. When I first saw it in 2010, it actually scared the shit out of me at the end and I will give it this, while it is a slow burn, it does do well to build suspense and does have a good pay off at the end. You get a fair sense of the characters and how they change throughout. The lack of music and opening credits and the fact the actors are convincing enough to be normal people. It does drag, the pacing is slow and there is a huge unintentionally hilarious part in the middle, and I mean laugh your ass off funny when the ghost expert guy returns. In the years, following it and the bullshit sequels and corny effects, it has lost some luster but it is a Ok horror film that is worth checking out but turn off the lights and watch it in the dark. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

So we come to the end of the “Thorn” trilogy that began with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and on a sad note, the final performance of Donald Pleasance. Unfortunately I didn’t see the director’s cut, which varies heavily from the original cut and I heard is a superior cut, much like the case with Alien 3 .

So years after the WTF ending of 5, Jamie was taken by the mysterious man in black, the same guy that busted Michael out of the pokey and held captive in secret. And impregnated with what I’m 99% sure was Michael’s man gravy. She gives birth to a baby boy in a satanic ritual. She takes the baby and flees, being chased down by Uncle/ Baby Daddy Michael who eventually kills her, but not without hiding her baby. Tommy Doyle, one of the kids from the classic Halloween movie, finds the baby; over the fifteen plus years Tommy became obsessed with Michael, wanting to know the Key to Michael’s seeming invincibility. Part of that key rests with his neighbor’s son who hears voices and lives in the Strode house of all places. Michael descends upon the Strodes as we get answers to none other than the “origin” of Michael Myers.

Well, I’ll give it this, it’s a better movie than Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers but that sadly ain’t saying much. Michael looks better and generally is good in this installment. The acting is meh except for Pleasance who does the best he could as always with a really freaking lackluster script. Paul Rudd, Ant-Man of all people, gives a ok performance but you can tell horror may not be his thing. Pretty much the movie is a bland 90’s slasher movie that is pretty forgettable. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

I’m going to say this now, do not judge this movie on it’s poster; it is lying its ass off to you. Michael’s mask looks nothing like this, Jamie doesn’t wear the clown costume in this movie, the movie title card is just “Halloween 5”, and no, no one was really that ready for Michael Myers though by this point the teachers of Haddonfield should be running Michael safety drills in schools because by now you would think they’d expect his crazy ass.

Picking up exactly where 4 ends, Michael found a REALLY convoluted way of escaping the fuzz, just to fall into Odin-sleep with a old drifter guy for a year. Why the hell this nice old guy kept the dead body of a burned guy in a white mask on his floor for a year and didn’t notify the police or bury the bastard-reasons. Jamie is now mute in a asylum, having a psychic episode that wakes Mikey up on Halloween; oh, by the way, Jamie has a psychic connection with Michael and him to her, I guess. Bye dark, cathartic ending of Halloween 4. So Michael is killing people again, hunting Jamie again, leading to a standoff at Myers childhood home with Loomis and Jamie. Oh and there’s a spooky guy in black lurking around.

Why this movie exists, I don’t really know. Michael looks ridiculous with his over-sized  mask that makes him look like a human bobble-head, most of the characters you can’t wait for Michael to kill off, and what the hell is up with the stupid opening credits. Pleasance and Harris give it there all, and bless them for trying but sadly it doesn’t save them this crapfest a bit. You can skip this sequel and you ain’t missing a damn thing. May the gaming gods bring you glory.