Category: Horror

Bad Santa 2 (2016)

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Its hard to believe there is a 13 year gap between the two movies, but here we are. Thankfully this time around parents seemed to have been smart enough to realize an R rated movie called “Bad Santa 2” was not good for kids. Maybe that 13 year gap was long enough for those kids to have kids and remember oh shit  Santa’s elf punched a kid in the nuts lets not bring my kid to see this one.

Anyway this time around our elf is out of jail and is back with Santa for one last job, and this time mom is here. Mom is played by Kathy Bates and I have to say Billy Bob, her and Tony Cox work amazing together. Not to be out done Brett Kelly once again plays his role perfectly.

The plan this time? To rob a charity of millions of dollars by pretending to be Santa once again. Having recently watched the first Bad Santa again I can’t say this one is as funny as the first, but it is as good of a movie. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is hilarious and it is now on my list of movies I will watch every Christmas. This is easily one of those must see Christmas movies. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose

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Earlier today I talked about a movie that was totally crap, so I thought I would get some balance by talking about a truly underrated horror flick that actually got me and proved PG-13 could pack a punch in horror.

The Exorcism of  Emily Rose follows the trial of a priest accused of aiding in the death of young Emily Rose during a exorcism gone wrong. During his accounts, we see the dark events of Emily’s possession.

Much like Salem’s Lot, it is a simple plot but it is followed through excellently. The actors are very down to earth and the use of practical effects leaned a much appreciated touch of realism VERY few films in this genre. The way Emily’s body unnaturally contort and the expressions of her face are damn effective and creepy. This movie has one of my all time favorite scares, which is a huge compliment I can’t often say. The only real flaw I can say is I didn’t like the ending personally, but that is strictly an opinion thing dealing with  the subject of beliefs, so hell, to reach his own. Overall, I seriously recommend this as what I would call one of the best underrated horror films of last decade. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mountain Men (2016)

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Mountain men with Tyler Labine is one of those movies it seems most people never heard of, but is actually quite a good movie. Tyler is actually a pretty good actor that seems to never really get the credit he deserves. You can read about another of his movies here. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Review 

This one is the story about two brothers that really don’t see each other. One lives in the small mountain town they grew up in, the other has moved to the big city and never really comes home. That is until their mother gets married. Tyler has a plan tho, and that plan is to get his brother up to their fathers cabin for a few days.

This is where shit goes terribly wrong. The following morning in a series of accidents leave them stranded in the woods, cold, injured and pretty much stoned as hell.

The story itself is pretty  cliche and doesn’t do anything new, but it is funny and entertaining, which for a comedy is good enough really. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Wish Upon

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Savior had the misfortune of hearing me spaz out while watching this mutated cat turd of a movie. What happens when we strip the base plot of a Goosebumps book, add a shit load of trendy little ticks to be trendy for your PG-13 audience, and water down Final Destination? Cinematic Horror diarrhea.

Claire is a high school girl who stumbled upon her mother killing herself as a kid and lives a normal shitty high school existence getting bullied by the preppy popular girls and hides the shame of her dad dumpster diving for a living. Yep. Well, on a dive, her dad finds a fancy box covered in Chinese script and says “I bet my daughter would like this” and gives it to her. Well she learns that it’s a wishing box and her wishes come true, but with the price of someone’s life, and she can’t stop.

Ok, this is the second worst movie I’ve seen this year. The plot has so many logic gaps and tries being trendy so damn hard it stops being funny and will begin to piss you off. Like what American high school teaches Chinese; why the fuck is the dad so relentless about dumpster diving; how the hell can getting your hair caught in a disposal break your neck? The kills are either lame, funny, or watered down. The twist you will figure out 10 minutes in. I hated Claire after two wishes, seriously, you will root for the box after a while. The only way I’d actually recommend this is you want a movie to laugh at with friends, but don’t go past Redbox. Best wishes, may the gaming gods bring you glory, and friends don’t let friends watch Wish Upon.

The Christmas Project (2016)

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I really didn’t know what to expect with this movie, tho I did discover it is based off a couple of books by Matthew Buckley called “Bullies in the Headlights” and “Chicken in the Headlights”. So feel free to read those if you are of the books are always better than the movies opinion.

Anyway, the movie it self is a semi comedy semi feel good movie about a family that every December picks a local family to secretly give presents to. This year year however four brothers will end up with the worst job they can imagine. Their pregnant mother chooses the school bully. What follows is almost like a modern version of “A Christmas Story” in a way. ( tho not as good. don’t go watch this and expect an instant classic than come back here screaming at me) The story itself is almost a coming of age story for this family as new friends are made, love is found and a father and son relationship is built that will last a lifetime.

That is not to say it is all rainbows and blue birds. The movie has its ups and downs, its happy moments and its sad moments. But all in all if you are looking for a feel good Christmas movie to watch with your family, look no further. This one has everything you could want, including a life lesson from a war veteran bus driver. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

The Ref (1994)

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This movie is basically about the worst day a robber could have that didn’t involve the cops unloading 12 clips into your body. Dennis Leary as always plays himself playing a robber that trips and alarm. He then falls down a trap door and escapes as he gets bit by a huge dog.

He then holds up a woman, gets to her car to find that her and her husband are essentially always fighting about everything imaginable. Husband blows a stop sign and he lies about not seeing it just so he doesn’t have to say she was right, that is the level of fighting we talk about.

The movie is funny and hilariously well written. At no point in the movie was I not entertained, and while the story is very basic and you can see the ending coming a mile away most people won’t really mind. When the rest of the family shows up, the movie just gets better.

Christmas dinner being awkward has never been so much fun when it didn’t involve the Griswolds. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sleeping With Other People (2015)

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The name of this movie makes this seem like it will be really weird. It is. First tho, probably don’t watch it around kids. Two college friends lose their virginity to each other, then lost touch for over a decade.

When they finally regain contact they discover that both of them basically can’t be faithful in a relationship.  They go on a date and decide to just be friends, and it is actually very beneficial to their lives. They of course eventually fall for each other. In the mean time some weird stuff happens, like them taking Ecstasy as going to a children’s birthday party. ( actually my favorite scene in the movie) I am actually a huge sucker for romantic comedies, and this one is no exception. If you like that style of movies this one is pretty solid and worth checking out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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The other half of Get Him to the Greek, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is about a man trying to, you can guess, forget his now ex girlfriend Sarah Marshall. His plan of running away to Hawaii hits one tiny snag. Sarah and her new boyfriend Aldous Snow ( the same Aldous from Get Him to the Greek)

This actually gets even worse, see they actually share a hotel. Then they end up at the same restaurant. This is really just the last thing a guy wants. He can actually hear their sex life. To combat this he decides its time to take a yoga class. Which they are of course at. And they are both amazing at.

Things aren’t all bad for the poor guy, he make some new friends, meets a girl, finishes his musical about Dracula. The movie is pretty fun. The movie could have been better, but there are worse movies out there. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Prey (day 1 preview)

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So after a bit of stupidity and some going around in circles, I scored my holiday Black Friday loot: Prey. A game I’ve been drooling over since I first watched the first gameplay trailers. I put maybe an hour into it and I have to say I got hooked, so since I’ve gotten hammered by the question how is it by people I know, I thought I’d just discuss my first impressions.

Essentially you are Morgan Yu (you can be male or female, I picked female for a Ripley vibe.) an employee taking part of a weird alien experiment on a space station, and the subjects escaped, multiplied, and have taken over. It’s about all I know so far.

First, visually this game is breathtaking to behold. Second, I get a heavy Dishonored feel for a lot of the game which is cool, beside some aesthetic similarities, the game is heavily about choices how you  approach obstacles. Moving feels as quick and fluid as in Doom. My favorite thing so far was fighting the Mimics so far. Tricky bastards move strangely, kinda like spiders but can sway like liquid or retreat and take another shape. Two at once can be a hassle to deal with without a gun. I really love the unknowing when it comes to these things, makes for a better immersion. I can’t really say anything bad yet but I’m damn excited to keep going. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Easy A

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Easy A is a movie about a high school girl that learns the hard way that not only do you have to be careful what you tell you friends, you also have to be careful where you tell them. In an attempt to get out of a weekend with her friend and her weird family she tells one small lie. That lie is that she spent the weekend with a guy she met through her brother. The problem is one, the guy doesn’t exist and two there happens to be a very devout christian that has some very strong opinions on virginity

Unlike most people her age tho our young Olive decides to embrace the rumors and have some fun with it. She makes up some stories, new cloths the whole 9 yards. This of course causes some problems, makes her some enemies, some rumors about an STD goes around may even end a marriage.

In the end it is a fun and entertaining movie, it is far from perfect of course but in the end do we really expect a movie about high school students to be perfect? Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.